Reaching down he lifted her to her
feet before pulling out his wallet and dropping some money on the table. “Walk
with me, sweetheart.” She didn’t deserve to have her emotions shared with a
room full of strangers; he was causing her pain again, he thought, and he hated
himself because of it.
How she managed to make her feet
move to walk with him out the door she had no idea, but she allowed him to lead
her the few blocks to Monroe Harbor before they spoke again. Normally the
beautiful sailboats would have held her attention, but on that occasion her
focus was all on Rhett. “I don’t want to lose you.” She couldn’t begin to imagine
life without him. She remembered just how lonely she had been before meeting
him; it was a life she never wanted to return to.
“Sweetheart, for the first time in
my life I am trying to do the right thing; you’re making it really hard
though.” Pulling her into his arms he held her tight. “I need to get help, and
I don’t want you wasting your life waiting on me when I might never be able to
become someone who deserves your love.” Didn’t she understand how much he loved
her? Being unselfish was not something he did, but for her he was willing to
be.
“Do you love me, Rhett?” That was
all that really mattered to her. If he didn’t, then she would accept it, no
matter how painful it might be; somehow she would find a way to get on with her
life. She deserved to hear the truth though.
He knew the right thing to do, as
wrong as it was, would be to lie to her, but he just couldn’t bring himself to
do it. “Before you, I’m not even sure I thought it was possible to love.”
She wasn’t sure what that meant, and
looked up at him expectantly. “Do you love me?” She wasn’t sure if his words
had been admission of his feelings for her, and she refused to accept anything
less than clarity.
“Yes, sweetheart, I love you, but I
also refuse to hurt you again.” He put his finger to her lips as she tried to
speak. “I love you enough to walk away until I am able to get the help I need.”
He knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth, and he was not
prepared to be around her until she was sure he could control himself. He
needed to stay away, for her and for him.
He loved her, she couldn’t help the
smile that found her face at his words; he loved her, nothing else mattered.
“Then I’ll wait for you.” She planned on doing more than waiting, but if he
needed to feel in control she would give him that. The ache in her heart was
lifting, knowing what he felt for her, what she felt for him made everything
seem better.
“I think you should go to the Ranch
with Alex.” He didn’t want her to wait around while he got his shit together.
He knew what would happen if she did, she would end up back in his bed, and he
would take what he needed, without thinking about her, if she allowed it. He
couldn’t do that to her, or live with the consequences if he did.
“But you said the Ranch was a horrible
place.” Why would he now want her to be with Alex, there, when that was what
had started the whole argument in the first place? It didn’t make sense to her.
“I was jealous as hell and only
thinking of myself.” He was willing to admit his deceit, because he knew if she
didn’t give him the space he needed he would only end up hurting her again. The
thought of her with Alex still pissed him off, but as selfish as he had been,
and he wanted to be, he knew she would learn things with Alex that he didn’t have
the patience to teach her right then.
“So you’re still breaking up with
me?” He loved her, he’d admitted as much, so how could he still be walking away
from her? She just didn’t understand it. She was in the middle of the most
confusing conversation of her adult life and didn’t know what to do.
“I’m going to get the help I need,
and until I do, I want you to go on living your life.” She was twenty-four
years old, and deserved to live life, not be stuck dealing with a selfish, inconsiderate
asshole. Alex would keep her safe, and would make her happy, for the time being
at least; he could only hope that when he was finally able to be the man she
deserved she would still want him.
“I’ll wait for you.” Knowing that he
loved her she wasn’t willing to give him up. Lifting her hand to his cheek, she
smiled warmly up into his beautiful eyes.
Just her touch had him aching to
lift her up against the nearest wall, to rip off her panties, and to take her,
regardless of who might come along and see them. The thought, and the image
that went with it, burned through his mind, and he knew what he had to do. “I
need you to be with Alex, sweetheart, at least until I get my shit together.”
She needed to walk away before he took what she was so willing to give him.
This was the way it was when they were together, he knew; the sexual tension
was like a storm, just waiting to be unleashed.
“That not what you want, Rhett.” She
knew instinctively that he was trying to protect her, but didn’t feel as though
she needed protecting. Her body responded to the heat that filled his eyes, and
she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body against his.
Pushing her away from him, he
groaned. “Damn it, if you truly love me you’ll stop tormenting me this way and
just go to the damned Ranch.” He was about two seconds away from losing
control, he could feel it, and as much as the thought of taking her turned him
on, he knew it was not what either of them truly needed.
Stunned at the commanding tone in
his voice, Leah finally understood. He couldn’t control himself around her. He
was just as desperate as she was, and it filled her with a confidence and sense
of power she had never known before. With that emotion also came the
understanding that he needed her to be strong for him. “Is that truly what you
want? She entwined her fingers in his hair and tugged, encouraging him to give
in to her.
A tortured groan escaped his lips at
her action, and he knew if he didn’t stop her then, things were going to end
badly for both of them. Reaching down, he grabbed her hand and began pulling
her back toward the road, walking so fast she struggled to keep up.
Hailing a cab, he glanced into her
startled eyes and kept his expression closed. “You are more of a temptation
than one man should have.” Shaking his head he tried to remember that he was
the one who was supposed to be in control.
His words made her smile, despite
the fact that he was pushing her away. She finally understood the truth, and
that truth was amazing. The man she had submitted to, heart, body and soul,
needed her, just as desperately as she needed him. There was no way she was
giving that up, she decided.
The cab arrived and he opened the
door; as he watched her slide in another groan of unfulfilled desire escaped
his lips. He slid in beside her and gave Janie’s address to the driver, before
turning to her. “Go to the Ranch, Leah, we'll talk when you get back.” He would
call Alex and explain to him why it was important that he keep her mind
occupied until he could gain some control over himself, he decided.
A smirk found Leah’s face; she knew
Rhett wasn’t far from giving in to what they both wanted. “Are you sure that’s
what you want, Sir?” She added the Sir knowing it would make him want her even
more. “Do you truly want Alex controlling what belongs to you?” She was playing
dirty, and she knew it, but for the first time since she had met him, she felt
like she was the one with the power. It was an exhilarating feeling.
He couldn’t stop the chuckle that
escaped him as she tested her new found power. “Take that sexy little ass to
the Ranch, maybe Alex can control you better than I have.” Nymph, he thought,
feeling the strain of the last few days lift. She had such potential, and such
fire inside, and could only imagine what she would be like when she truly
understood the control she had.
The cab pulled up in front of the
condo building and Leah got out. Rhett was thankful she was leaving, he wasn’t
sure he had it in him to resist much longer. Her new found confidence was going
to test Alex, and it gave him a perverse sense of pleasure to know that she had
begun to understand just how powerful her submissive nature could be.
“You’re coming back to me.” Leah
smiled as she leaned back in to the cab, knowing that something had changed
forever and that she no longer felt as though him leaving her was the end of
the world. It was strangely comforting to realize that she had more power than
she had thought.
“Yes, sweetheart, I am, when I can
be what you need, I’ll come back to you.” He smiled and shook his head. There
was so much he wanted to share with her, and so much he hoped to be able to
share with her in the future. “I’ll call you soon.” His body ached, even as his
heart swelled. This was the woman she was meant to be, and as soon as he could
control himself again, she was going to belong to him as much as he belonged to
her.
“Don’t make me wait too long, Sir.”
Smiling, she shut the door and watched him drive off. She was sure she could
have changed his mind with only a little more effort, and that made their
parting much easier than it had been earlier, because she knew he wasn’t really
leaving her. She had no idea how she was going to force herself to give him the
time he needed, but she also knew he needed it for his own peace of mind.
Still smiling, she walked into the
lobby of the condo, trying to understand the enormous change that had happened
in such a short time. After their ten nights together she had felt completely
subdued by him, now she understood what he had been trying to teach her all
along, that he was hers as much as she was his. It didn’t matter what happened
with Alex, it wouldn’t change their bond.
She could have both worlds, and they
would still be okay. Amazing how much could change in a day, she thought as she
walked through the front door of the condo.
21
Resolving
Riding back to his mansion, Rhett
struggled to get himself back under control, both his body and his mind. On the
drive, he allowed his memories to pass over the last few weeks and a smile
found his chiseled features. A true beauty had calmed the beast of his nature,
he thought with a chuckle. It had taken seeing the world through her innocence
to finally realize how cold and withdrawn he had allowed himself to become.
After tipping the driver he walked
inside and made his way through to his study to call Alex. The anger he had
felt at the thought of losing Leah to his friend was gone, it had evaporated
like steam. Taking responsibility for his actions had given him a peace of mind
he hadn’t expected to feel, and knowing that Leah would be safe, and happy,
until he could find himself, was the right thing to do in his opinion.
“Alex, I want to apologize once
again for the other night, and let you know that I have encouraged Leah to go
to the Ranch.” He waited a few moments for his friend to respond, and when he
didn’t he worried that he had hung up. “Alex?”
“I’m here, Rhett, I’m just amazed
that you are willing to do that.” Amazed didn’t begin to describe the surprise he
felt. Though they had been friends for decades he couldn’t remember his friend
ever doing anything as unselfish, and he wondered why he was doing so then.
“What’s the catch?” he asked, certain there had to be one.
“No catch,” Rhett said with a shake
of his head. “I just want you to promise me that you’ll keep her safe, and that
you won’t push her so hard she freaks out.” He wasn’t actually worried about
Alex doing that, but he needed to say the words. “It would be good if you could
keep her occupied for the next few months, while I finish this counseling.”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I
don’t completely trust you here, Rhett.” He wanted to believe his friend, but
after the other night, it just seemed too easy. “What are you really trying to
accomplish here?”
“I’m not trying to accomplish
anything, Alex. I’ve been an ass to Leah, I realize that now; not just to Leah,
to a lot of people, and I need to right some wrongs. Leah likes you, and I know
she’ll be safe with you. Right now I need to focus on getting my shit together,
and I can’t do that if I’m worrying that she is out there exploring this
lifestyle with someone who doesn’t have her best interests at heart.” Someone
like him was what he meant, though he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.
He knew how curious she was, and a submissive like Leah would attract Masters
who would love to teach her, and many of them would be more interested in their
pleasure, instead of teaching her, as he had been.
Alex found that he couldn’t fault
his friend’s reasoning, not if he was being honest with himself. “If that’s how
you truly feel then I find it commendable. Let’s be absolutely clear though, if
I train Leah in my lifestyle and she enjoys it, I won’t just walk away because
you feel like you’ve become a better person. Are you willing to live with that?
I will want her to continue being my submissive, and I won’t be prepared to
walk away.”
“I won’t say it will be easy for me,
Alex, but if, at the end of all of this, Leah wants you and not me, then I’ll
walk away.” As he said the words he realized he truly meant them. Leah was more
important to him than his own needs. The realization brought a smile to his
lips; he had never thought to care more for another person than he did for
himself.