Unfortunately, Rhett’s confession of
assault meant it made no difference that he hadn’t filed charges; he was to be
prosecuted anyway.
“Mr. Hammond, I have to say that I
am disappointed to see one of our most prominent businessmen, and a lawyer, in
my court today, especially on such a juvenile charge.” Glancing down at the
file in her hand, the judge shook her head in disbelief. “I see here that you
have pleaded guilty to assault charges, even though the victim has not filed a
complaint?” She raised an eyebrow at that, she wasn’t easily surprised after
more than ten years presiding over criminal cases, but that did surprise her.
If he had simply denied it, or said nothing at all, he could have avoided even
the risk of going to jail. “Why is that?”
“Because I know that I need to seek
help for my anger issues, and admitting that I committed the crime seems like a
reasonable step in that direction.” In truth, he felt guilty as hell over what
had happened and, in his opinion, time in jail, even if he received as long as
a year, was no less than he deserved. He had been surprised when David told him
that neither Alex nor Leah were willing to file charges against him, but that
hadn’t changed his mind about admitting to the assault.
“While I find your attitude
commendable, Mr. Hammond, and an example I wish others in your position would
follow,” at that she looked up sternly at the row of prisoners awaiting
arraignment behind Rhett, “I don’t believe that putting you into the criminal
justice system is going to change anything.” She turned to Rhett’s lawyer, who,
despite his impassive demeanor, was still surprised that his employer wasn’t
willing to do everything possible to make the situation better for himself.
“Counselor, I think we can come to a
resolution that will serve all parties involved, without the need to punish your
client more than is necessary. I am going to recommend a suspended
sentence of nine months and six months of anger management counseling, on an
outpatient basis. Additionally, your client will be required to pay for all
treatment, and court fees.”
Rhett’s lawyer turned to look at his
employer, but it was David who provided him with his instructions, giving a
discreet nod. “I believe that is a fair decision, your honor, my client
accepts,” he said, relieved that they had been given a fair judge for the arraignment;
there were some, he knew, who would have delighted in throwing the book at such
a prominent businessman.
“That is my order then,” the judge
announced, bringing down her gavel. “And Mr. Hammond, I hope the counseling
will prove to be what you need. I do not wish to see you in front of my bench
again; I will not be so lenient if I do.”
“Thank you, your honor.” Rhett
finally spoke; he didn’t feel as though he deserved the leniency he had been
given, but appreciated the opportunity to deal with his issues and make amends
for what he had done. He promised himself he would use the sentence to get his
head straight, and sort himself out, once and for all.
The judge nodded and Rhett and David
walked off to settle the court fees, while Leah breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m
so glad that’s over,” she said. She had been a nervous wreck since walking into
the courtroom; knowing that he wasn’t going to suffer as a result of what had
happened was a massive weight off her mind. She, Alex and Janie waited outside
the courthouse while the paperwork was taken care of, and then they were joined
by David and Rhett.
“Alex, forgive me for being such a
stubborn, stupid ass,” Rhett said, extending his hand, which he hoped his
friend was going to take.
“I understand wanting to fight for
Leah, Rhett, but let’s both agree not to ever let things get like that again.”
He hadn’t completely forgiven his friend, but Rhett had proved to be willing to
own up to his mistakes, and seek help; for him to refuse the offered apology
would make him less of a man.
Rhett knew that if the situation had
been reversed he would not have been as generous. That, along with the
knowledge that he wasn’t good for anyone just then, must less his precious
Leah, told him what he needed to do. “Leah, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to
speak with you privately for a moment.” He wasn’t sure she would ever want to
be alone with him again, but what he needed to say, he wasn’t sure he could in
front of the others.
“There’s a coffee house across the
street,” Leah said. She wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea to be alone
with him, and not just because of his temper. She figured she would be safe
from the temptation she always felt in his presence though, if there were
others around, and they were in a public place.
“That sounds fine.” Rhett nodded in
agreement, just happy that she was willing to talk with him after everything
that had happened.
“Janie, I’ll see you back at the
condo.” Leah gave her friend a quick hug.
“If you’re not there in a couple of
hours, and I haven’t heard from you, I’ll send out a S.W.A.T. unit,” Janie
joked, but immediately regretted it when she saw the remorse-filled look in
Rhett’s eyes. “Kidding, Rhett.” Rolling her eyes she took David’s arm and
together they walked off to fetch his car.
“She’ll be safe with me, Alex,”
Rhett promised. After what he’d done he felt he owed his friend, and Leah, some
assurances, even though he hoped they both knew he would never purposely hurt
Leah.
“I know she will, Rhett.” Shaking
his friend’s hand, Alex offered Leah a quick smile. “Call me later if you need
to talk.” At her small nod he smiled again and then turned to follow Janie and
David on their way to the parking lot.
“Shall we?” Rhett motioned with his
hand for her to lead the way, and followed behind her, silently contemplating
what he was sure was going to be the hardest discussion he would ever have.
For reasons she couldn’t fathom,
Leah felt as though she was making a death march as they walked across the
street. The new Rhett, the one she had seen that day , was not the self-assured
man she had fallen for, he seemed almost beaten, and she didn’t like that.
Entering the coffee house, Leah
found a booth in a quiet corner, where they could talk without being overheard
or disturbed, and slid into it. She was at a loss for words until the waitress
came, not sure what Rhett wanted to talk to her about, feeling only that it
wasn’t going to make her happy. Ordering a cappuccino she waited silently for
Rhett to speak.
“Leah, first let me say how sorry I
am that I lost control,” he said with a wry smile when he saw she had nothing
to say. “The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you, and I want you
to understand that I will never allow myself to put you in that position
again.” He reached across the table to take her hand, squeezing it gently in an
effort to reassure her.
She couldn’t stay angry with him; it
just wasn’t in her nature. “I shouldn’t have slept with Alex,” she told him, feeling
guilty. If he had been with another woman she would have been heartbroken, she
knew she would. She had had long hours to think about everything she had done,
and she had come to the conclusion that she had been just as responsible for
what had happened as Rhett was. The guilt was eating her up inside, which was
why she was so relieved he had been released by the judge.
“I didn’t leave you with much of a
choice, sweetheart.” After the way he had treated her he was amazed to see that
she was blaming herself. In his mind she had offered him her love, and in
return he had given her a sadistic asshole who was only concerned with having
his own needs fulfilled.
“People always have a choice, Rhett,
and I’m not very proud of the one I made.” That was putting it mildly, she felt
like a whore for turning to another man the moment her fiancé upset her. That
wasn’t how she had been raised, and it definitely wasn’t the type of person she
wanted to be.
“I refuse to allow you to blame
yourself for this, sweetheart.” He gave her a sad smile as he caressed the top
of her hand with his thumb. “This entire relationship moved too fast from the
beginning, and I never took the time to think about how you felt.” It had
worried at his mind the whole time he was in that cell over the weekend; how he
had taken a virgin and tried to turn her into a whore in less than a month. In
his mind it didn’t say much about his ability to control himself, or to be the
leader in the BDSM lifestyle that he was supposed to be.
“Rhett, you didn’t do anything that
I didn’t allow.” She refused to let him take all the blame for what had
happened. “I could have walked away at any time.” As she said the words she
knew in her heart they were true. Nothing that had happened between them had
been because he forced her to make decisions; sure he had been overbearing, and
even overwhelming, but it was her own stubbornness and fear that had led her to
the choices she had made.
“It doesn’t really matter anymore,
Leah.” He shook his head. “I’m going to do the best thing I can for you now,
and walk away.” The thought of ending things with her was like a knife in the
gut, it was the very last thing he wanted to do, but he knew it was the right
thing. He had royally fucked things up with her, and for once in his life he
was prepared to do the right thing, no matter what it cost him.
Leah looked up at him in stunned
amazement. “You don’t want me anymore?” She bit back a gasp at the pain that
speared her heart at the thought of him saying goodbye.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,
sweetheart.” He hated that he was the cause of the pain he saw in her beautiful
eyes, and knew that walking away would be worse than dying a thousand times, in
a thousand different ways, but he would endure it, because he must. “You
deserve someone who can give you the type of love your heart craves, and I
don’t know if I can ever be that person.” As much as he wanted to, he wasn’t
sure he possessed the ability to love her the way she wanted and needed to be
loved.
“It matters to me.” She fought back
the tears that stung her eyes as he pulled her world out from under her feet.
“If you don’t want me, then I’ll find a way to let you go, but if you do,
Rhett, you had damned well better fight for me!” Her pain turned to anger as
the thought of him walking out of her life forever made her lose her grip on
reality.
The waitress arrived with their
coffees then and she glared at her until she walked away. She waited for Rhett
to speak, and when he didn’t she felt her anger grow. “Damn you, Rhett, don’t you
dare try and decide what’s good for me.” She was furious that he was willing to
end everything after what they had been through. “What am I supposed to do
without you in my life?”
It was crazy with him, she knew
that, but it was also exciting, and felt like the entire world was tipped over
when he took control. It scared the shit out of her, but it had also made her
feel alive for the first time in her life. “I love you!” she screamed the
words, not caring that they sounded more a threat than a confession from the
heart; he needed to know how she felt.
“Sweetheart, let me do the right
thing here,” he whispered in an almost defeated tone. Before her it had never
mattered to him what another person wanted, he had taken what he wanted and
needed, and if that wasn’t enough for his partner then he was just as happy for
her to leave. This was his precious Leah though, not one of those other
submissive's who had entered his life for the sole purpose of pleasing him. She
deserved more than he had ever given any of those others, she deserved
everything.
He was really going to do this, she
thought in panic. He was going to walk out of her life thinking it was what she
needed. Hell no! She refused to allow it, standing, she moved round the table
to kneel by his chair. Screw all the people that were staring at her, screw
everyone else in the world, she thought. “This is where I want to be, and
unless you tell me you no longer want me, then I plan on being here for the
rest of my life.”
Rhett shook his head at how willingly
she was submitting to him; he ached to accept the gift she was offering. “Stand
up, Leah.” The rest of the world slipped away as he looked down into her
tear-filled eyes. “That’s not where you belong.” He wasn’t worthy of her
devotion, he thought, and until he was, he refused to give in to the desire he
felt.
He didn’t want her; all her bravado
slipped away as that thought struck her and she rested her head on his knee as
she tried to come to grips with everything that mattered in her life being
taken away from her. The tears fell then and she didn’t try to stop them. If he
truly didn’t love her, then she would have to accept that and let him walk
away, but she wasn’t sure she had to strength to do that.
They were making a scene, Rhett
finally noticed the stares and hushed whispers around them, and realized he
should have declined the coffee house and found somewhere better for their
meeting. “Sweetheart, we need to get out of here.” He petted her hair like a
child as he whispered the words, not liking how broken she seemed as she knelt
at his feet.
“Are you breaking up with me?”
Lifting her eyes to meet his took almost more energy than she had right then,
but she forced herself to do it. If he truly was leaving her, then she wanted
him to say the words. The rest of the crowd could burn in hell for all she
cared at that moment, this was her lover, and he was all that mattered to her.