“
You’re staring at me while
I sleep,” the muffled words escape his sexy mouth.
“
I’m committing your face
to memory. Drawing you in my mind since I can’t do what you
do.”
With his eyes closed, a grin spreads
across his lips. “Okay. Gawk all you want.” He peels back the sheet
to reveal his naked body. “Commit this to memory also. I wouldn’t
want you to forget the most important part of me while we’re
apart.”
In a flash of movement, Ty’s body is
hovering over me and his face is an inch from mine. “It’s my turn.
But I don’t just want to see you, I want to feel you too.” His lips
press to mine, hard and still. Then his mouth slides down my neck
to my chest, his hands molding over my breasts causing heat to
pulse through my sensitive body.
“
Maybe you
are
having sympathy pains
for Shel.” He squeezes my boobs. “Before, they were a handful, now
the cup overfloweth.”
“
You’re silly,” I tell him
with a smack to his shoulder.
“
They’re nice and soft
too.” He sucks hard on my left breast, dragging his teeth over my
nipple.
I can’t help but cry out with the
sheer pleasure of his playful teasing. My hands press to his
shoulders to steady myself from the overwhelming sensation. How did
the tenderness of my breasts just multiply all of a
sudden?
The gentle graze of his fingertips
down my sides tickles but causes a few stuttered
breaths.
“
Mmm,” Tyler moans against
my heated flesh. “Your whole body feels so soft to me. So warm and
soft. I love it.” Kisses trail to my belly, and without even
thinking, my knee shoots up to protect myself … and my
baby.
“
Is that a nice way to tell
me you think I’m getting fat?”
“
Fat? No way, there isn’t
an ounce of fat on your body, Melly. You just have softened a bit.
You don’t look like you could kick my ass as easily as you could
before. He goes back about his business of sprinkling my body with
kisses.
“
Fine. Carry on,” I tease,
running my fingers through his thick locks.
After Ty has stuffed me with the best
ham and cheese omelet ever, we snuggle on the sofa to watch the
tube. I sit with my back against the armrest and my legs thrown
across his lap while he hugs my body with his head resting on my
chest.
“
My very own body pillow.
How long do I get to keep you?”
“
As long as you want,
baby.”
“
Sounds good to me.” He
doesn’t say anything else so I just try to enjoy the closeness of
our touch and the happiness I should feel being in Ty’s arms.
Except it’s hard to enjoy it when something big, something so
monumental is a secret between us. It doesn’t have to be, but I’m
being a Grade A pussy who can’t open her mouth and say what’s on
her mind for once. For the first time in my life, I’m at a loss for
words and I feel like my throat is closing every time I open my
mouth to get anything out.
“
Hey, have you talked to my
sister?” His question pulls me from my over analyzing
mind.
“
Yeah, I chatted with her
the whole way up yesterday.”
“
Baby talk?”
“
Is there any other kind?”
I say, happily thinking of my friend, but nervous about my own
situation.
“
Yeah, I bet. She’s
probably talking Matt’s ear off. When is she due
anyway?”
“
Just after the New Year,”
I tell him.
“
So how far along does that
make her now?”
“
Didn’t you talk to her
already?”
He chuckles. “Yeah, but I don’t
remember. I was just in shock when she told me. I didn’t expect her
to get pregnant so soon. They just started trying.”
“
She was pregnant already
when they decided to try. It wouldn’t have mattered if they wanted
to or not. The baby was already coming.”
With his head still on my chest, he
continues, “Lucky for them. I think whenever we decide to have
babies, we should really plan it. Make sure we have everything in
order before we take a step like that.”
“
We?” He wants to have
babies with me. That’s something, right?
“
Yeah. We. Not now, of
course. We don’t even live in the same zip code. That should be a
requirement before we go that route, don’t you think? Hell, we’re
not even married. We have a long way to go, Melly Belly. But just
think. We can get some practice with the little Shel or
Matt.”
Yeah, we can get some
practice.
Only one problem with that.
Our baby is coming first.
Ty’s off to work at his volunteer gig
so I take the opportunity to call my mother while I’m
alone.
“
Have you told him yet?”
she asks when she answers the phone.
“
Well, hello to you too,
Mom.”
“
Never mind the
pleasantries, Melissa. Did you tell Tyler you’re
pregnant?”
I feel like my doggies, with my head
between my legs scurrying away. “No.”
“
Why not, mija?”
As if I can just blurt out the words.
It’s not like he’s been inviting the topic. “Mom, there just hasn’t
been a good time. I almost died the other day when he mentioned he
wanted us to plan our family and not just have it dumped in our
laps.”
I hear a deep sigh on the other end of
the phone. “Don’t you think everyone would love to plan a family?
If it happens, that’s great but more often than not, kids come
along unexpected. And then the parents deal. Just like Shelly and
Matt have. And you and Ty will too. I think you’re making a big
mistake keeping this from him. You’re not giving him the credit he
deserves.”
“
Maybe not, Mom. But I’m
scared. I can’t imagine what it will be like to see the
disappointment in his eyes. It hurts so bad and it hasn’t even
happened.”
“
I think it’s more than
that, mija.”
Oh goodness. Here it comes. The
psychoanalysis from my mother. She thinks just because she’s
watched every episode of Oprah and Christina she can figure out
what makes everyone tick.
“
You’re deflecting your
feelings for Nick and your breakup onto Tyler.”
“
Deflecting, Mom?
Really?”
“
Yes,
deflecting.”
“
I don’t give two shits
about Nick or our breakup.”
“
Maybe not, but it has you
scared enough to believe Tyler might leave you too. Couple that
with the bad timing you’ve had in the past with him, you don’t
think you two will ever be truly happy. I think you’re ready to
sabotage it now before you take a chance on the love you share. You
think it will hurt less if you walk away rather than giving it a
shot.”
I shake my head. No. That’s not it.
Why would I want to walk away from the one man who I’ve thought
about my entire life and who is finally within my reach?
“
Take a chance on Ty, mija.
Give him the chance to prove you wrong. He’s not Nick. He’s not the
teenage boy you fell in love with. He’s a man now. And he loves you
too.”
A long sigh releases from my mouth. “I
know, Mama. I know.” My phone beeps and I pull it away from my ear
to glance at the screen. “Listen, Mom. I gotta run. It’s Shelly on
the other line.”
“
Okay. You need to tell
him. Now. Before he figures it out on his own.”
“
Fine. I’ll tell him.
Bye.”
“
Tell who what?” Shel’s
voice is in my ear.
Oh shit. I must have hit the swap
button too soon. “Nothing. What’s happening, Shel? How’s that belly
of yours?”
“
Growing. It’s crazy. I
didn’t notice anything before. But now that I know I’m prego, I
have all these symptoms that weren’t there before.”
Tell me about it. Earlier I had to rub
out the worst cramp in my leg. It was like a Charlie horse to my
calf with the grip that wouldn’t let go. My toes curled in pain
until it was over. As soon as Ty left, I Googled it on my phone and
sure enough, cramps come with the territory. I wonder what else
there is.
“
Like what?”
Shel doesn’t waste any time telling me
about how she wants to sleep all day, her tender boobs, and how
horny she is. “I never thought it was possible to want my husband
any more than I already did, but the man can just kiss me and I
feel like orgasmic. It’s crazy. I’m surprised there’s not some sex
drug that mimics the sensation of being pregnant. It’s
intense.”
“
Thanks for
sharing.”
“
Hey, there’s another
thing. I had Matt dump out my beer so I wouldn’t be reminded that
I’m going to be cut off for quite some time. Then it hit me. I’d
been drinking this whole time before I knew I was having a baby. I
totally freaked. Got on the phone and called my doctor’s night line
because I sure as hell couldn’t wait until the morning.”
Alright already. Spill it. What did he
say? I want to strangle it out of her while she goes on and on
about how difficult it is to speak to someone when you need them. I
hadn’t even thought about all the wine I’ve had since the baby was
conceived. Was it before Ty and I drowned ourselves in Patron in
Vegas? Oh, fuck me. On second thought. Don’t. That’s what got me in
this mess.
“
I’m sure the baby will be
fine,” I interrupt her rant so she’ll get to the point.
“
Oh, yeah. That’s what the
doctor said. He said it’s not like I’m an alcoholic.”
A snort erupts from me.
“
Hey,” she yelps. “I’m not.
I don’t drink
every
day. And I don’t
always
have a six pack. Anyway, he said as long as I stop
now, we should be just fine and there’s no sense in worrying about
something I can’t go back and change now.”
“
I bet you want a beer now
more than ever though.” This stress is making me want a glass of
wine. Or a bottle.
“
Definitely. But Ben &
Jerry’s ice cream is doing the trick for now. I may gain a hundred
pounds but it’ll be worth it.”
“
Amen to that,
sister.”
“
So how’s my brother?” I
guess baby talk is over. Well, if she knew the whole story, her
brother and baby talk would actually go together. What sucks just
as much as not telling Ty about the baby is also keeping it from
Shel. But I can’t put her in the situation of keeping something so
big from her brother and I really would like the chance to tell him
first.
“
He’s at the teen center
right now.”
“
I asked how he is,” she
whines.
“
Oh, he’s
great.”
“
Great? Did that dummy do
something stupid?”
“
Not at all.” Not
intentionally anyway. He has no way of knowing he’s putting his
foot in his mouth every time he talks about babies. “He said he
wants to have babies with me.”
“
What?”
I have to pull the phone away from my
ear. Her shrill has left my ear ringing. “Yeah. Not now. But
someday.”
“
Someday when you live in
the same city, I hope.”
“
That’s what he
said.”
“
Good to know he’s thinking
straight. You can’t very well raise a kid from two opposite ends of
a coastline.” Just what I want to hear. Now, Shel doesn’t know
she’s put her foot in her mouth.
“
Yup, that would make it
difficult.”
Shel is quiet for a minute which makes
me a little uneasy. “Well, he’s making plans. That’s a good thing,
right?”
“
I guess. Although, I don’t
think he’s making real plans. Just kinda talking about it
hypothetically. It’s not like he said he’s moving. Or he wants me
to move. Not anytime soon, anyway. If he was interested in that,
you’d think he’d say so already. If we’re making those kinds of
plans we only have the summer to get things settled before school
starts again.”
“
Hmm.”
That’s it? That’s all my best friend
has to say to that? Hmm. What the hell?
“
Have you asked him about
that?”
“
Of course not. I don’t
want to push him.”
“
Hmm.” Again?
Really?”
These Gelson’s are driving me insane.
I wonder if that’s another side effect of being with
child.
Melissa
Ty and I have settled into a nice
little routine these last two weeks. I wake up to the most
delicious breakfast ever which is perfect considering I have the
appetite of an elephant. Then, we watch all of the morning talk
shows before he leaves to the center just before lunch. I go for a
run and then come back to clean myself up along with the apartment,
and then get dinner ready before he gets back home.
If I ever wanted to be a stay-at-home
mom, I now know better of it. I don’t know how my mom has done it
all these years. For the most part, I’m bored to tears when Ty is
away. Being alone with my thoughts, without Ty, or my mom or Shel
is less than thrilling. At least I have time to sleep though. Shel
was right. For parts of the day, I can barely keep my eyes open.
And it’s not like I’ve done anything exciting to tire myself
out.