Like always, I’m distracted again.
This time by the dust on my students’ desks. It was really dumb of
me to put off coming into work for so long. Usually it takes me
days to figure out where to start. And today is no different. The
walls, handouts, lesson plans, dusty desks. I can’t decide. I stand
up and pace back and forth yet again, trying to settle on a
starting point. It seems impossible. I slide into one of the desks
and rest my chin in my hand, taking in the scenery.
My thoughts go into overdrive
again.
The summer went by so quickly. I wish
I had more time to recover from the crazy that has become my life,
but I don’t. I need to snap out of this funk and move on. I can’t
allow my feelings for Ty and my crushed heart to get in the way of
me starting off the school year right. I can’t allow my feelings to
get in the way of me taking care of myself and this little person
growing inside me. Ty said he’d call when he calmed down. I should
have just listened and waited for the call. Sometimes things are
better left alone. And in this case, I would have liked to stay in
the dark, not knowing that Ty has a new woman.
First Nick, and now Ty.
I’m destined to be alone.
The faint sound of voices and
shuffling feet can be heard in the hall. I should have kept my
lights off. I’m not in the mood for company and now someone is
bound to stop in. Thankfully, I wore some old baggy soccer shorts
and a hoodie.
I glance at the door just in time to
see Shel and Matt peek their heads in.
“
Oh my gosh!” she squeals.
“You’re here.”
“
And you’re smiling. Are
you sure you’re happy to see me?”
She brushes me off with a wave of her
hand. “Bitch, please. I totally wanted to kill you days ago, but
I’m over it now that I see you. Get your ass up and give me a
hug.”
The giddiness in her voice makes my
heart swell with love for my best friend. Even after all I’ve done,
she still loves me and she’s still here for me. She could easily
hold a grudge for me keeping her in the dark and lying to her
brother, but that’s just not Shelly’s style. We’re more than
friends. We’re sisters. And we’ll always have each other’s backs.
No matter how stupid we can be. Or, in this case, no matter how
stupid I am.
I scoot out of the desk and open my
arms to her. Matt smiles as he watches his wife and I rock back and
forth in a girlie hug.
When I back away, she kneels down and
plants her hands on my belly. “Hey, baby girl. This is your auntie
speaking. I can’t wait to meet you.”
“
How do you know she’s a
girl?”
She rises to her feet. “Mother’s
intuition. I’m having a boy and you’re having a girl.”
“
You found out
already?”
“
No, but I just know. Don’t
you?”
I shrug. “Maybe.” I’ve been back to
the doctor’s office. Maybe I know a little something. But I’m not
saying till I have a chance to share the news with Ty.
“
Can I have a turn now?”
Matt says, after clearing his throat.
Shel and I laugh at his expense.
“Sure, big guy. Hi, Matt.”
He tosses an arm over my shoulder and
squeezes me close to his side. “Nice to see you, Mel. You look
great.”
I run my hand over my messy hair and
yank on my ponytail. “Oh, yeah. You’re full of shit, but thanks
anyway.”
Shel reaches for my hand and gives me
a sympathetic stare. “How are you, Melly?”
And with that, the flood gates open.
Tears well in my eyes and I try to fight the oncoming whoosh of
sobs, but I can’t. It’s too late. “Not good, Shelly. Not good at
all.”
“
What happened now? Did Ty
call you yet?”
We both sit. Matt grabs a tissue box
and places it in front of me, then leans against a desk next to
Shel.
“
No. After I talked to you,
I went to see him. I wanted to make the grand gesture, like in the
movies. You know, let him know I’m willing to move to San Francisco
so he can continue working in the teen center. But when I got
there, it was too late. Ty is seeing someone else.”
“
What?” both Shel and Matt
say in unison.
“
Yeah, Taylor. Not only
does she work with him, she lives with him too.” I pull two tissues
from the box and blot at my eyes. Then I grab a few more and blow
my nose.
“
Wait. Where did you go
exactly? Where did you see Taylor?” Shel asks.
“
San Francisco.” Where in
the hell else? “I went to his apartment and waited outside for him.
She had a key and was talking to a friend about Ty letting her
decorate however she wanted.”
“
Melly, Ty does not have a
new girlfriend. I promise.”
I can’t believe she’s going to lie for
her brother. “I saw her with my own eyes, Shel.”
“
No, you didn’t see
anything. Tyler isn’t …”
Matt interrupts her with a hand to her
shoulder, “Shel, it’s not your place.”
She arches a brow at him and he
narrows his eyes right back. “Fine.” Her gaze falls back to me.
“What is the number one reason our students end up getting into
fights?”
“
What the hell does that
have to do with anything?” I shout, throwing my hands
up.
She slaps her hand on the desk. “Just
answer the question.”
With a heaving sigh, I reply,
“Miscommunication. He said. She said. And half of it isn’t even
true.”
“
Right. That’s what’s
happening here between you and Ty. I swear if you guys would have
just talked from the beginning and been your usual in-your-face
selves, none of this stupid ass shit would’ve happened. You both
need to learn to communicate because right now, everything is just
one giant misunderstanding.”
I drag my hand through my hair again.
This time pulling a little harder on my pony in frustration. “Then
what, Shel? What is it I don’t know?”
She shakes her head. “You know how you
wanted me to be your best friend and not Ty’s little sister?” I nod
knowing very well the multiple times I pulled that card. “Well, Ty
needs me to be his sister and not his girlfriend’s best friend. So
my lips are sealed.”
Matt bends down and kisses the top of
her head. “Well done, Shel. I knew you had it in you.”
“
Liar,” she smacks his
thigh. “You thought I was going to spill my guts.”
“
Maybe.”
She tries to pull off an evil glare
but he just gives her one of his swoon worthy grins.
“
Hello,” I call out, waving
my hands in the air. “What the hell? You have to tell
me.”
Shel gets to her feet, and for the
first time I see her bump when her loose-fitted top pulls against
her midsection. She’s absolutely gorgeous with her pregnant
glow.
“
No, I don’t,” she says.
“Just keep your phone on. I guarantee Tyler will be in touch to
reassure you he is not seeing anyone else.”
Melissa
“
You really expect people
to just believe you gained a few pounds?” Shelly asks me. “In your
belly?”
“
Maybe they won’t even
notice me when they see your big ass,” I tell her, bouncing my hip
against hers as we walk to our first meeting of the school
year.
School is about to start and I’m
having a baby. Alone. Without my baby’s daddy. I feel like the
biggest hussy of all time. How do I even talk about this with my
students? The questions are going to come. That’s a given. Mrs.
Cruz, did you get married? Mrs. Cruz, are you gay or something?
Mrs. Cruz, what happened to the baby’s father? Damn their
inquisitive little brains.
I’m an unwed mother. That part doesn’t
bother me. It’s just the other small little detail that hurts. The
one that nixes Ty out of the picture. He probably still hates me
for not telling him. But what could he possibly expect me to do? He
didn’t love me enough to make the grand gesture. Not until he found
out I’m having his child. I’m not about to trap him in a
relationship he doesn’t want to be in. Maybe he can visit the baby
during breaks. Maybe I can take the baby to him. I don’t think my
little one likes that idea very much judging by the kick at my
side. Yeah, I don’t like it either. It’ll kill me to be apart from
my baby. Even more than it’s killing me to be away from her
daddy.
Ty called. Just like Shel said he
would. He didn’t say much. He did make it clear that the whole
Taylor thing was a complete misunderstanding. He didn’t say why,
but it sounds like he may be renting the extra room to her. As a
studio, maybe. I told him he didn’t owe me any explanations, but he
gave them anyway.
When he asked if I’d be willing to sit
down and talk to him, I almost passed out. I had to pinch myself, I
thought I was dreaming. He’s going to be in town this weekend. He
might already be. I don’t know. Shel won’t give up any information.
I’ve tried to trick her into telling me when Tyler arrives, but she
hasn’t taken the bait. I gave him my work schedule for today and he
said he’d call. This day is going to drag on like watching
Wimbledon.
But seeing Ty will be worth the wait.
I’ve practiced my speech several times. He needs to know how much I
love him. He needs to know I’m willing to do whatever it takes to
make our family work.
“
Are you crying?” Shel
asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“
Oh, fuck. These damn
emotions. I’m never getting pregnant again, I tell you. If I’m not
crying, I’m eating twenty pounds of chocolate. And I’m really dying
for caffeine.”
“
You’re preaching to the
choir, Melly. I’m right there with you. At least, you’ll get
reacquainted with Starbucks a whole month before me. And don’t you
come around me with your coffee breath or I’ll kick your
ass.”
“
Shit, between my crying
and your left hook, we’re going to be so much fun to work with this
year.”
When we reach the auditorium, we sit
down in the back row without saying anything to anyone. My plan
worked. I knew if I got here early enough, I could sneak in without
anyone noticing my baby bump. With my denim jacket hanging loosely
across my belly, no one will notice when I’m sitting
down.
Little by little, colleagues and
friends who we haven’t seen all summer start to fill the seats for
the meeting. Matt finds us and hands over two Venti hot teas made
with Refresh, non-decaffeinated bags. When Shel and Matt got
married, I got a bonus best friend. He’s a wonderful man, taking
care of me too just like he does my friend.
“
Thanks, Matt.”
“
Anyone catch on yet?” he
asks, with a grin. He thinks we should just stand up and tell
everyone so people don’t have to talk behind our backs, making up
stories and spreading gossip. I kind of like the idea. Let’s see
what they can come up with. Maybe I’ll give the person with the
best story a prize.
I shake my head. “You’re the first
person to even talk to us.”
“
I’m not surprised. When I
walked in you were both turned toward each other like you’re in
deep conversation. I wasn’t sure I should even say
anything.”
A few minutes later, Chase and Summer
make an appearance and sit in the row in front of us. She turns
around and flashes us a wink. “Is the secret out,
ladies?”
I can’t help but sneer. “Oh, cha-tha,
Summer.”
“
Melissa, I’m sorry. I
don’t speak your ghetto talk.”
I lean forward till I’m right in her
face, close enough that I can see the actual layers of makeup piled
on her face. “Let me translate for you. Cha-tha fuck
up.”
She turns around in her seat with a
roll of her eyes. And I can’t help but laugh so hard, I actually
start snorting.
Shelly taps my leg. “Hey, the
principal is getting ready to start. Shh.” I can feel her shaking
with laughter next to me. “That was a good one.”
I waggle my brows. “I know.” The
meeting starts but my eyes wander. “Hey, I hear Mr. Erickson is
single. Maybe I can convince him to be my baby daddy. For that guy,
I’d consider getting prego again.”
She smacks my leg this time. “Just pay
attention.”
“
Good morning, Tigers.
Welcome back!” the principal shouts, using his teacher voice so we
can all hear. With all the technology this place has, you’d think
someone would give him a microphone.
Everyone says, “Good
morning.”
“
We have a lot of
announcements that should prove to be a lot of fun and very
memorable, so we’re going to get all the business out of the way
first before we get to the good stuff.”
I lean over to whisper in Shel’s ear.
“Fun, memorable, good stuff? I wonder what that could be. Maybe
someone joined a cult.”
Shel shhs me again.
“
What do you think it is?”
I ask her before sipping more of my warm tea. I wonder what the
heated liquid does for the baby. Maybe she feels like she’s taking
a warm bath. Ooo, that sounds good right now. Resting in a big tub,
candles lit, some Spanish love tunes singing in my ear.