“
Hey, Melly Belly,” Ty
says, his voice cheerful so early in the morning. “How are you
still in bed? I woke up hours ago. I can’t sleep without you next
to me.”
My heart squeezes. “I can’t
either.”
“
You should have just
stayed.”
I run my hand through my hair. “Yeah,
I should have. I don’t have anything going on except for taking
care of my pooches. I miss them and I’m sure my mom can use the
break.”
“
When do you get to pick
them up?”
“
My mom’s finally back from
her vacation so I’m going to pick them up today. They’ll keep me
busy, at least. I’m probably gonna go insane watching the clock
tick till I see you again.” There’s an awkward silence as I
consider what to say next. “And when exactly is that
again?”
He clears his throat. “Not for at
least three weeks. I volunteer at the local teen center. We need to
get the classes up and running before I can get away. I’m kicking
myself for taking this gig. I wanna jump on a plane and be there
with you.”
“
Soon, babe. You know
you’re going to have a great time with those kids. I’m glad you’re
doing it again.”
“
We both have a soft spot
for struggling adolescents, don’t we?” I can sense the smile in his
eyes. “There’s just something about the ones who are a little rough
around the edges.”
“
Project?” I
tease.
“
No. That’s not it. I think
it’s watching them succeed against all odds that does it for me. I
try to help in any way I can.”
“
Yup, I know the feeling.
I’m a sucker for a happy ending too. When I see my kids, the ones
who most thought were a lost cause, cross the stage and get their
diplomas at graduation, it makes all the extra hours of phone calls
and come-to-Jesus talks worth it.” This last May, I had a student
introduce me to his mom. She thanked me, shaking my hand and not
letting go. She expressed how grateful she was to me for being
there for her son and how she didn’t think she would’ve seen him
graduate if it hadn’t been for me. She’s a single mom, working two
jobs to care for her elderly mother and her two children. Because
of that responsibility, she wasn’t always aware that her son was
ditching and getting into trouble all the time. He loves his mom,
but has some serious daddy issues. But he figured it out. Now, he
has a high school diploma to get him started and he got a part-time
job at the airport. Each of my students has a story to tell. I
could flip the pages of the yearbook and share all their sob
stories, some more sad, depressing, and maddening than others. But
the best tales are the ones where the students beat the odds to
find success, just like Ty described.
“
So what’s your plan for
the day? Cuddle the doggies? Talk shit with my sis?”
He knows me well. As soon as I dig
myself out of this abyss of throw pillows I call a bed, I’m heading
over to my mom’s. And if she doesn’t talk my ear off the entire
day, I plan on seeing my best friend. It’s been years since we’ve
been away from each other this long. And I definitely miss her.
Even more than Mer and Der. But I wouldn’t tell her
that.
“
That’s the plan,” I tell
him.
“
You know if you want to
come up again, you can bring the little fur balls with you. No need
to find a babysitter.”
The idea makes me want to pack my bags
now. “Let’s see how things go. With your commitments at the center,
you might not have much time. We’ll talk about it in a few weeks.”
As much as I’d like to turn right back around and drive up there in
time for dinner, I know I can’t. I have to exhibit some
self-control. And hell, I’d like him to come to me. I can’t just
spend eighteen hours in my car to make the trip to and from the Bay
every time my heart warms to his voice. I’m not that
pathetic.
“
Okay,” he says. “But just
so you know … I want you here. With me. All to myself. Now that
I’ve had my fill of you, I can’t get enough.”
“
Oh, Ty. I’ve had my fill
of you too. Been more full of you than I could ever imagine, as a
matter of fact. And believe me, we could be a hundred years old and
I still will not have had enough.”
There’s a low groan in his tone when
he replies, “Oh lord, woman. You’re killing me. I gotta go jump in
the shower. Or maybe a tub of ice.”
There’s laughter on both ends as we
end the call.
He wants me there. With him,
huh?
Well, that’s definitely something to
think about.
“
Mom,” I shout when I enter
my parents’ home. Instantly, I feel like a little kid again. Being
here always makes me feel like I want to put on my PJs and watch As
The World Turns with my mom and grandma. The damn show is gone now,
but Grey’s works.
“
I’m in the kitchen,” I
hear her call out.
She turns as I come around the corner.
She wears a bright smile on her face as she wipes her hands on her
apron. “Hi, baby girl.” Her hands fly up, welcoming me. “How was
your trip? How is Tyler?”
“
Oh, Mama.” And the tears
fall. What the fuck? Where did these come from? I bury my face into
her shoulder and sob. “He’s wonderful.”
“
Then why are you crying?”
She pats my head and runs her hand down my hair.
“
I don’t know. I have no
idea where this is coming from.” I back away, wiping the tears from
my now damp face with my fingertips.
Her concerned eyes search mine for
answers, but I don’t have any. My breath hitches with a sob every
time I inhale. I feel like a little girl in my mom’s kitchen after
I’ve just skinned my knee. And then I start crying more as a memory
resurfaces of a time just like that. I wanted to learn how to ride
a skateboard so bad. I was determined and Ty was against it. He
said with my lack of coordination I’d just break my face. In fact,
he touched my cheek and said I’d break my “beautiful face.”
Instead, I tore up my knee and he carried me inside my house and
held my hand while my mom poured peroxide over the wound. I never
tried riding a skateboard again. But that memory clings to my heart
right now.
My mom’s eyes brighten again and she
brushes the sign of the cross over her chest and forehead. “What is
it?” I ask her.
“
Oh, mija.” Her own eyes
start to puddle. “You’re pregnant. I’m going to be a grandma.”
Thankfully, she envelops me in a huge bear hug or I’m sure I’d be a
pile of limp bones on the hardwood floors. “Come. Sit.”
When I’m safely rested in my dad’s
La-Z Boy recliner, my mind starts to spin. “Mom, I can’t be
pregnant. There are no signs. At all. I’m fine. Just a little
emotional is all. I guess I miss Ty more than I
thought.”
My mother sits on the
coffee table across from me, her elbows resting on her knees and
an
I Love Lucy
apron hanging between her legs. “Honey, I know it. You
are.”
“
How do you know? What are
you gonna do? One of my abuelita’s old wives tales or something?”
If she starts getting red yarn, salt, or chili peppers, I’m gonna
bolt.
“
No, I’m not going to do
anything to you. Just relax.” She reaches out and places her soft
callused hand on my bare knee. “Now, tell me. Have you been tired
lately?”
“
Well, yeah.” But if she
knew what I’ve been doing for two weeks, she’d understand. I’m not
about to tell my mama that I’ve been having marathon sex with my
best friend’s brother.
“
Do your chichis hurt? Are
they tender?”
My hands shoot to my boobs. Huh. They
are. “Yeah.” Again. That could be due to the previously mentioned
marathon sex. Tyler has a way with his hands. And his teeth. God, I
have to squeeze my thighs together just thinking about his
talent.
“
Now, when was the last
time you had your period?”
Shit. Why does she look all happy?
Like she’s thrilled her only daughter is knocked up out of wedlock.
I’m surprised she’s not praying or something.
My thoughts flash through any memory I
have of tampons and panty liners. I seriously can’t remember the
last time I needed them. I haven’t had to buy some since I
discovered you can buy a vibrator at the local drugstore. Imagine
that. I’ll take this box of pads, the vibrator, some lube, and
throw in this cockring for my special loved one. Crazy. I couldn’t
believe it. I took several pictures of the feminine product aisle
and sent them to Shel. She texted back and said she knew where to
shop for my birthday.
“
Oh shit, Mom.” Suddenly, I
feel like it’s a thousand degrees. I can feel the moisture in my
pits and the backs of my thighs.
“
When?” she
asks.
“
Just before my birthday.”
Holy fuck.
“
Your birthday? That was in
March. How could you not know you were pregnant this whole time?
It’s been months.”
I lean forward, placing my head in my
hands. “I don’t have my period every month. And when I do, it’s
really light. I’ve been a runner since high school. That’s like
birth control in itself.”
“
Not a hundred percent,
obviously.” She sits up, crosses her arms over her chest and gives
me a knowing smirk.
“
It’s not like we didn’t
use anything else.” And we did. Ty has a knack for slapping on a
condom in a split second without killing the mood, kinda like a
relay runner grabbing the baton in stride. Although, I can’t say I
haven’t wished for some bareback skin-to-skin contact, but I know
better. “Hey, this isn’t a sure thing. It only comes every three to
four months. It’s normal for someone who runs as much as I do,” I
tell her trying to convince myself. Tyler’s words about Shel
getting pregnant keep playing in my mind. He can’t give back this
baby. Shit. What am I going to tell him? He doesn’t want
kids.
My mom touches her thumb to her pinky
first, then to her other fingers. “It’s almost four months now. I
say you take a test.”
“
Oh, god. I’m gonna be
sick.”
“
Ay, don’t be so dramatic.
Get up. Let’s go. I’ll drive you.”
About twenty minutes later, I’m
walking the aisles of the local drug store. The same aisle with the
ribbed vibrators and fluorescent cockrings. Shel should have bought
me those for my birthday. Can’t get pregnant from a toy. I pull my
sunglasses over my eyes, and pull the elastic band from my head,
freeing my hair to cover my face.
“
What are you doing? You
look like a criminal,” my mom says. “Who are you hiding
from?”
“
Anyone. Everyone. My
students could be here. Or Shel. Or her mom. Ty’s mom.” My stomach
goes sour, like I can feel my insides curdling with every second
that passes until I know for sure if I’m preggers.
I stop in front of all the tests.
There have to be over twenty different kinds. Why are there so
many? And why are they so dang expensive? You shouldn’t have to pay
more than five bucks for something you’re just going to take a leak
on. My mom grabs three boxes and starts walking away from me. “Meet
me in the car,” she orders.
She doesn’t have to tell me
twice.
After pissing on all three sticks,
which takes the speed and agility of an Olympic athlete might I
add, and lining up two of them on the bathroom sink, I sit on the
toilet seat and wait. Because I’m not an Olympic athlete, I dropped
one in the toilet and have yet to fish it out. I’ll do that later
since I have something a lot more important on my mind. The first
one is pink on the end. If I hadn’t read the directions, I would’ve
thought I was pregnant and having a girl. Instead, it just means my
pee made it on the stick. The second one looks wet but it didn’t
change color so I’m hoping it’s doing its job.
Eons pass before a bright blue plus
sign shows up in a tiny window. Great. This test isn’t gender
biased. But it does tell me I’m pregnant. Holy fuck. Seconds later,
the words “pregnant” in bold letters shout at me from the window of
the other test. Holy fuck, again!
I’m on my feet before I can think,
swinging open the bathroom door. My mother is standing just
outside.
“
I’m pregnant.”
A smile stretches across her face and
her eyes get misty. “Congratulations.”
The warm sun on my skin is like a
security blanket, making me feel relaxed and comfortable which is
exactly what I need right now. Sitting on my mom’s pool deck
petting my pooches is just what I need to escape the chaos that has
become my life in the last two hours since I first arrived at my
parents’ place.
“
How are you feeling,
mija?” My mom stands over me with a glass of iced tea. “It’s decaf.
I brought you a granola bar too. Maybe it will settle your
stomach.”
I take the cool glass and bring it to
my lips. The icy liquid chills my body, even in this summer heat.
“Thank you.”
She sits across from me again. Mer
pops her little head up and then rests back against my thigh. Der
doesn’t budge. He hasn’t moved an inch since he settled on his back
beside me with his arms and legs spread eagle waiting for his belly
to be rubbed. Mer snuggles closer now that I’ve taken a hand away
from her to take a drink.