Before Him Comes Me (12 page)

“Fuck! Look at the lovely 9 Series. I have not seen one of
those around these parts.” Liliana exclaims, pointing to the white sedan parked
at the curb as they make their way closer to the front of the dorm. Shifting
the bags from their recent shopping expedition from one hand to another, Zara recognizes
Garrett’s car.

As they get closer, the door opens and Garrett steps out
angrily walking up to Zara. Both Ella and Liliana stop dead in their tracks, mouths
open and unable to speak. For the first time since Zara has met her, Ella is
not talking a mile a minute.

“Zara Faith, where have you been?”

“I went…”

“Where is your phone?” Zara set the bags on the ground in
front of her.

Her body tenses, “I forgot it in…”

“You forgot the phone again. The phone that I have asked you
to keep on you at all times. Is that what I am to understand?”

Zara’s eyes drop to the ground and her shoulders hunch over
in shame because she has upset Garrett for a second time in one day. Awaiting
the pending punishment, she realizes Garrett has picked up the bags she set
down.

“Take these to your room. Call me when you get inside.”

Zara takes the bags and stands shaking before him. Having
never seen Garrett so angry, she is unsure what is coming.

“NOW, Zara Faith!”

Without a word or backward glance, Zara heads to her room, her
key out of the wristlet before she reaches the hallway. Inside her room, she
immediately picks up the phone with her free hand.

Looking at the screen, Zara sees there are ten missed calls
and just as many texts. Before she can dial, the phone rang. Knowing it is
Garrett but afraid to speak, Zara swipes to answer the incoming call. While the
packages crinkle in time with her quaking.

A deep breath precedes a calmer voice. “Little One, please
go to the window and look out.”

With her packages in one hand and the phone in the other,
she goes to the window and pulls aside the curtain.

“Put the bags down, Little One. Go on, I’ll wait.”

Another deep breath whispers in her ear as she sets the bags
down. “Little One, I am sorry I raised my voice at you. I am sorry that I spoke
like that in front of your friends. That will never happen again. Please
forgive me.

“Listen, you are in a new city, a new state and I am the only
person that you know. If you were to get lost and scared, that phone is your
connection to me. But, Zara, it’s also my connection to you. I brought you
here. I put you into a situation that you never expected to be in. I need to
know that you are safe and handling the situation.

I worried when I couldn’t get a hold of you. When you walked
up smiling and laughing, my worry came out as anger. I behaved badly. Can you
please forgive me?”

Zara nodded. Not sure yet if she going to be punished, she
remains silent as Garrett continues.

“Little One, if anything happens to you, I would never
forgive myself. Does that make sense? When you have your phone you’re two
buttons from all the help that you could possibly need. Without your phone, you’re
helpless if something happens to you.”

“I am very sorry. I will never go anywhere without my phone
again. I promise. I have learned my lesson,” she whispers.

“Zara.” The exasperation in Garrett’s voice unsettles Zara leaving
her feeling as if she steps from one landmine to another.

“Just be more careful to keeping the phone with you. Please.”
He hangs up.

Zara watches Garrett pull out of the parking spot and drive
away, panicking at the thought that the only person who knows her has left in
anger.

Zara remains in the window for a long time, watching for
Garrett to return and make her feel safe. Waiting at the window, Zara is
reminded of how alone she is in her new home. Garrett has brought her here, but
he has also left her here.

The light of the day fades away as Zara stands waiting in the
darkening dorm room. Hearing a soft knock at the door, she knows it is not
Garrett and does not move to answer it. After a minute, the knocking stops.

An hour later, still standing in the window, Zara has
replayed every word that she and Garrett had exchanged that day. She had
disobeyed his one request. He had given her so much, asking for only one thing
in return and Zara had failed him.

Zara collapses onto her bed crushing her phone in her hand. Fully
dressed, no desire to eat or drink, tears accompany her exhaustion into sleep.

Jolted awake at the sound of an incoming text, Zara releases
the grip on the phone and reads the message.

“I hope you’re okay. I’m not angry with you. I was very
worried.”

Zara sits straight up and turns on the reading lamp beside
her bed. Her fingers fly over the keyboard to pull up his number and hit the
call button.

Hearing Garrett answer, Zara begins, “I am so sorry. I was
forgetful and made you worry. It will never happen again. I promise.”

“You had bags. You shopped.” Zara nodded. “Little One, you
understand that I can’t hear you when you nod over the phone. Can I see what
you purchased or are you too tired?”

“Outside? Are you here?” She turns off the lamp and jumps
out of bed to open the curtain. The streetlight illuminates the empty parking
spot.

“No, Little One, I’m in bed at my house.”

“Alone?” Zara slaps a hand over her mouth the second the
word slips out. Closing her eyes and holding breath, Zara waits for Garrett’s
response to her inappropriate question.

After a moment, she realizes he is laughing. “Yes, Zara, I’m
alone in my bed at home. I’m not in the habit of having women in my bed. I
definitely wouldn’t have someone in my bed while I was speaking to you.”

Smiling, Zara walks to the other side of the room and flips
on the light switch next to the door. The sudden brightness of the room makes
her squint and shield her eyes.

“I thought we could Skype.” Zara nods as she takes her
laptop off her desk and climbs onto her bed.

“I would like that very much,” Zara responds realizing the
silence is from her lack of response.

Booting her computer and opening Skype, Zara’s computer
rings immediately with an incoming video chat.

“Hanging up now.” The phone clicks and Zara lays it on the
bed next to her.

The video window reveals reclining in bed with his arm
behind his head. Seconds pass in silence, both looking at one another thinking
their own thoughts. Seeing him without a shirt, Zara blushes at the intimacy.

“Little One, did you get dressed again to Skype me?” Zara
shakes her head. “Please take a few minutes and change into your comfy clothes.
Turn the laptop toward the wall.”

Hopping off the bed, Zara pulled the dress over her head
that she had worn out shopping earlier. Running to the bathroom, she grabs the
sleep clothes from last night and throws them on.

Zara rushes back to the bed to get comfortable against the
headboard. Placing a pillow on her lap and the computer on top, she is ready to
talk.

“Okay. What did you buy?”

Holding her finger up and smiling, she puts the laptop back
on the bed and grabs the bags from where she had dropped them.

Over the next thirty minutes, Zara shares the exciting
details of her day and displays two purses, a pink Michigan State sweatshirt,
and a pair of yoga pants. The pants have Spartans across the butt and Garrett
requested Zara wear them the next time they hang out. She rushes on telling him
about the music she heard in the dorm.

“I saw something while I was shopping and I will understand
if you would prefer that I return it.”

“Zara, I told you that you could purchase whatever you
wanted. If you wanted to buy a car, I would hope that you would allow me to go
with you and assist you in getting the best deal, but that is your choice.”

Zara just stares at Garrett in the video. She would never
spend that kind of money. There was a part of her that hesitated to spend the
money that she had today. Seeing Garrett’s excitement about each item helped to
relieve her nervousness.

“No. It is not a major purchase. I purchased this for you.” Zara
lifts the Hozier CD up to show him. There was a silence. Zara looks from the CD
back to Garrett and back to the CD. Disappointed, she tells him that she will
take it back in the morning.

“Hell no, you will not return my present. I love it. The
computer froze. Hold it up again. Please.”

Happy that he is pleased with all of her purchases and seems
to like his surprise, Zara sinks into the bed a bit further. “Little One, move
your purchases off your bed. I will wait. I want to be able to tuck you in. Smiling
back at him, Zara nods and does as she is told.

Turning off the overhead light and turning the reading light
on, she crawls under the covers this time. Taking the laptop off the pillow and
placing it next to her, Zara gets cozy in her bed.

“Thank you.” In a moment of panic, Zara runs her hands over
the covers until she finds the phone. Holding it up, she finds Garrett
chuckling at her. She does not say anything for a moment. It feels nice to just
be with him even if it is through a computer.

“I met two friends today. The two you saw me with earlier. Liliana
is a junior majoring in engineering. Ella is a junior but is still deciding
what she is going to focus on. They are in the room across the hall. When I
came back from breakfast, they came over and introduced themselves to me.

“That is how I learned of Hozier. Ella says that he is the
hottest guy these days. I like that song,
Take Me to Church
.” Garrett
laughs and Zara pauses in uncertainty.

“Little One, you’ve talked more in the thirty minutes on
Skype than in the four days we spent together before I dropped you off at MSU. I
think I am going to have to make a point of Skyping you. It sounds like you had
a great day. Until you saw me, that is. Again, I am sorry for that.”

Looking down at the keys on the laptop, Zara searches for
something to say when Garrett continues.

“You know I met my best friend, Branden, the day I started
at MSU. He was my roommate. We went in blind and ended up being the best of
friends. He is family to me. His sister, Vivian is also family. They are both
looking forward to meeting you. My point is that I hope that you meet life-long
friends while you are at State. It sounds like you have a good start with your
hall mates.”

Zara yawns as she nods. “Okay, Little One, time to say good night.
Sleep well. Call me when you want to talk again. Thank you for my CD. I love
it. Night.”

“Good night.”

Zara wakes up to a sunny room and a smile on her face. After
showering and slipping into a pair of jean cut-offs and a tee shirt, she feels
ready to go in search of coffee, knowing the purchase of a coffee maker was in
the near future.

A wall of loud music meets Zara at the door, accompanied by
her hall mates wearing expressions of concern.

“Good morning. I am…”

The opening is all Ella needs to begin firing questions. “Are
you okay? Who was that? What did you do? Can I get your number?”

“Yes. Of course you may have my number.” Zara reaches into
the side pocket of her pants and withdraws her phone. Not knowing her new
number, it takes her a few button pushes to locate the number.

“Here let me call your phone. Then you’ll have mine. Who was
that? Why was he yelling at you? Is that your BF?” Dialing didn’t prevent Ella
from drilling Zara for answers. “I hit Lil’s too. Cute shorts. Where are ya’
going? So, why all the secrets about the guy?”

Zara looks from Ella to Liliana and back again during the
barrage of questions. As if on cue, the quieter hall mate comes to her rescue. “Fuck,
El. How is she going to answer you without you shutting up?

Pushing Ella aside, she continues, “Zara, good morning. Ella
is a bit worked up this morning. We waited to hear from you all night and she
was a little worried.”

“Whatever, Liliana. You were worried too. Nice try.” Crossing
her arms, Ella leans against the doorway to their room. Zara senses she is
waiting to have all of her questions answered and preparing to go another round
if the answers are not up to her standard of curiosity.

Confident that neither of the two girls looking back at her had
been raised in a Master/slave household, she pauses, uncertain how to respond.

Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, Zara looks
into the two sets of eyes before her and smiles, “That was Garrett. We are
friends. He was upset with me for not having my phone with me for safety. He
and I talked last night and things are good. I am in desperate need of caffeine.
If you want to go with me, I am buying.”

Liliana nods and retreats into their room but Ella takes a
step closer to Zara. Hands on her hips and looking her directly in the eye, she
speaks softly and slowly, “Never allow a man to speak to you that way again. Women
are to be cherished and respected. There are ways of showing concern without
being a dickhead. If he can’t find those ways, walk away.”

Zara watches as Ella spins around and disappears into her
room. Standing alone in the hall, Zara considers Ella’s words. A moment later,
Liliana walks back through the door and joins Zara. She softly shuts the door
behind her, leaving Ella alone inside.

“Ready?”

Pulling her own door closed, Zara nods and follows Liliana
down the hallway wondering why Ella has not joined them. They walk in silence
for several minutes then Liliana begins to shed some light on the situation.

“Ella was in an abusive relationship her first year here. It
began with him yelling at her for not calling or picking up when he called. The
last time she forgot her phone in the dorm, he beat her up… bad. She would stay
at his apartment off and on so I didn’t think much of it when she didn’t come
home.

“I knew her phone was in our room with me so I called his
phone to check on her. He told me she fell asleep and that she was staying the
night. I never gave it a second thought.”

Opening the door of the coffee shop, Zara was too
preoccupied to soak in the aroma of coffee. She was horrified at the thought of
someone hitting Ella. Obviously, it is bothering Liliana to talk about it. She
patiently waits to see if Liliana will continue.

Coffee ordered and seated in the back corner of the shop,
Liliana gazes into her coffee cup as she continues.

“She was gone for a total of three days and two nights. When
she walked into our room, she burst into tears at the look on my face. I should
have controlled my expression but I would never have thought it possible. I
mean, I knew he was on her ass but I just thought it was how their relationship
worked. I took her to the clinic and called the police.

“It’s been two years and she is mostly back to her old self
now, but it took a while. I don’t know what happened to her while she was in
his apartment. She has never wanted to talk about it and I’ve never pressed. She
has been going to a shrink for a while.” Taking a sip of coffee, Liliana turns
her attention to Zara.

“She watched that guy step out of the car and saw the change
in your body language and relived what she went through with her ex. She waited
up all night to see if you would come out of your room. She fell asleep sitting
on the floor just inside the door.” Tears filled Zara’s eyes as she stares down
at her coffee listening.

“She wanted to stay back at the room to get some rest, now
that she knows you are okay. I’m sorry she was all over you like that. You don’t
have to tell us anything about him.”

“I am so sorry she worried. You too. Garrett is very good to
me. He was concerned that I could get into a situation and be unable to call
for help without my phone. He works in security and worries. Please forgive me
for leaving you both to worry last night.”

Shaking her head, Liliana put her coffee on the small table
next to her, “There’s no need to apologize. I only told you about Ella because
of the similarity of the situation with the phone and so you understand why she
gets overprotective.

“She knows I am telling you about this. It is hard for her
to relive it and discuss it, but wanted you to know. The guy was arrested and
charged with assault. He was expelled from State and sentenced. He didn’t serve
enough time.”

Silently, Liliana and Zara sit sipping their coffee. Zara
knows her childhood involvement in the Community is not a topic she should
discuss with either of her hall mates any time soon.

Finishing her coffee, Zara stands and asks Liliana if she
wants a refill. Together they head to the counter so Liliana can get a coffee
to take back to Ella.