Read Before Him Comes Me Online
Authors: Alexandria Sure
Before Him Comes Me
Alexandria Sure
Before
Him Comes Me
Alexandria
Sure
Before Him Comes Me
is a work
of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of
the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 by Alexandria Sure
LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by
any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical
methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the
case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other
noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, email
the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at [email protected]
ISBN 978-0692352366
To
my mother,
For
all the love and support, and for the blue.
Every
day, I walk the walk
One
step
Two
step
Forward
momentum
My
world in black and white
Then today,
You.
An
energy shift
Your
color runs through me
My
world vibrates
My
world glows
You
move away
Taking
your color
My
world in black and white
One
step … stumble.
Zara opens her eyes, her bedroom already filled with morning
sunlight. Closing her eyes, she lays perfectly still taking inventory of her
body, her feelings and her overall state of mind. Turning eighteen has not made
Zara feel any different, yet today will be the first day of her new life.
Looking up at Audrey Hepburn in her
My Fair Lady
poster, Zara takes a deep breath and begins to memorize her belongings that she
will never see again. Zara shifts her gaze to the two framed pictures on the
nightstand. The first is a picture of her and her best friend Sloane from the
first time they went horseback riding. Both of them got the giggles so badly
that Sloane’s mother threatened to bring them home if they didn’t pay attention
to the lesson.
The second picture, taken eight years ago on Zara’s tenth
birthday, is of Fredrik giving Zara a bouquet of daisies. Ever since then, he
has given her daisies on her birthday and they have become her favorite flower.
This neither pleases nor displeases their father; therefore it continues to
occur.
Zara begins to take mental pictures of each object surrounding
the frames. The mini stuffed PINK dog from Victoria’s Secret was something she
and Sloane each had to have. Convincing both mothers of the need for the PINK
dogs was no easy task and the effort alone required the prominent display of
their victory. This neither pleases nor displeases her father; therefore it
continues to occur.
Next she notices a pink and green polka dotted hair tie. There
is nothing special about it, but it was the first of many she and Sloane made
over the summer. Their mothers had been looking through craft idea cards in a
store when they found one for making easy hair ties. They had spent the longest
time picking out fabric for their new project. Zara picks up the hair tie and slips
it around her wrist like a rubber band.
Funny… the things I’ll miss.
On the back of Zara’s nightstand is a bottle of cucumber
melon lotion that she won in a drawing at the mall. Never believing for a
second that she would win, Zara filled out the entry form. Sloane had cautioned,
“The Community exists on the fringe of society, Zara. The less direct
interaction that we have with outsiders, the better.”
Zara giggles recalling their mixed surprise when she won.
Of course I would win.
Picking up the lotion and popping the top open, Zara takes a
big whiff. She quickly closes it and places it back in its home on the
nightstand. A chill travels the length of her back as the details of the only
night she wore the lotion comes into focus. Zara’s father promptly sent her
back to shower off the odor he found offensive and she was forced to listen to
a lecture on how it is up to her Dom to pick the scents that please him. Until
the time comes for Zara to be handed over to her Dom, there would be no scents worn
in this house that were disagreeable to her father. Vanilla… for her father, it
is vanilla on her mother and because Zara’s father does not like the smell of
cucumber melon, it is not used in his home.
Propping herself up against the headboard, two items stand
out. A massive bouquet of daisies from Fredrik sits on her dresser and an equally
massive wedding dress for the ceremony is hung on her closet door. She smiles
at the flowers. He had given them to her a day early so she could enjoy them one
last full day. Zara aches at the reality of not seeing Fredrik or getting her
birthday daisies after today.
Concentrating on her breathing to keep the tears from
falling, Zara looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath. When she regains
control, she looks once more at her lovely flowers sitting on a dresser in a
bedroom in a house with a family that she will say goodbye to forever, for she
follows traditions that go back generation upon generation. Very soon Zara will
walk out the door and that will be that.
While most brides pack suitcases of new clothes and take old
belongings into their new life, there will be no packing for Zara. It is
customary for the father to transfer his daughter into her new life with
nothing from her old life. Once she is in the care of her Dom, her family steps
away and the Dom is responsible for every aspect of his new submissive’s
wellbeing. This includes integrating her into the Dom’s family at every level.
The wedding dress hanging in the corner demands Zara embrace
the fact that today is her wedding day. Glancing back at the daisies, she wipes
the single tear that escapes down her cheek. There will be no daisies for Zara
at her wedding. The dress is not of her choosing. The ceremony will be the
beginning of a life of no voice and no opinion. The dress is exquisite and the
ceremony will be perfect. Zara’s father will be pleased.
Zara begins to move through her normal morning routine,
knowing there is nothing normal about this particular morning. Her damp
chestnut hair feels healthy and full after its recent cut. Pausing to look at
herself in the mirror after her shower, the first signs of cracks in her
well-trained armor begin to appear. Her green eyes are a tad puffy and have a
hint of red. Raising her hand to her bare neck, she realizes it is only a
matter of hours before there is a collar. And a Dom attached to it.
Zara, no thinking about it yet. It is what it is!
Zara walks into her bedroom, sits on the corner of her bed
and begins to focus. Using a technique her mother taught her to get through stressful
moments like this one, she closes her eyes, inhales deeply… holds her breath… and
slowly exhales. So as not to give any indication that the focus is on anything
but the here and now, she concentrates straight ahead on a spot on the wall. As
she has been trained, deep concentration shifts her away from the overwhelming
feelings that are trying to take hold of her.
Zara chooses a memory of riding her horse, Gentlemen, crossing
the field at a full gallop, with no one else around… just the two of them. She
remembers the feeling of control as she sits deeper in the saddle, her legs wrapped
tight around him, pushing him just a bit faster. The air whips through her hair
as they cross the open field. The sun beats down making the colors of the sky and
field more vivid. It is a feeling of complete, unadulterated freedom.
Three swift, hard knocks on the door jar Zara back to the
present.
“Come on in, Fredrik.”
“Ready!” Fredrik throws the door open with a loud clap. “I
am taking you to a few of your favorite places to say a final farewell. NOT THE
MALL, so do not even ask. We have two hours on our own if we hurry. Mother and
the other ladies are going to transport the dress and other wedding stuff for
you. But, Zara… this is it.”
Standing slowly, Zara walks around the room that she has
lived in for the last eighteen years. It is a room that is down the hallway
from the brother that she adores. She touches her dresser and runs her hand
over the footboard. It is a relatively simple room, but she loves it. Standing
in front of her Monet print, she smiles and then glances at the Hepburn poster.
Stepping over to the chair by the window, she picks up her
current read,
Little Women
, and removes the bookmark. Zara rests it on
top of the book and puts the book on the chair. While Fredrik patiently waits, Zara
moves the curtain and takes in what a lovely sunny day her last birthday in
Chattanooga is turning out to be.
“I guess this is it,” Zara whispers as she walks towards the
door. Fredrik steps out of the room to allow his sister one final moment alone
with her thoughts. Reaching back in, Zara grabs the cucumber melon lotion and
squirts one last pea-size amount into the palm of her hand and replaces the
bottle. Then she closes the door of her bedroom and her childhood.
Zara walks quickly past Fredrik and out of the house she can
no longer claim as “hers” to Fredrik’s car. Once inside, she rubs the lotion
into her hands with a small kernel of satisfaction. Leaning back against the
seat, all that is left for Zara to do in this moment is breathe, so she does.
Deeply.
After a moment, the driver side door opens and Fredrik
slides in. He hands her the travel mug she has used since she began drinking
coffee.
“Where are we off to?” Fredrik asks in a surprisingly
cheerful voice. Without direction from his sister, he starts the car and begins
to drive.
Zara takes a sip of her mother’s blended coffee and stares
silently out the window. The taste of home is all she can think of as she tries
to stomach another sip. The coffee is perfect, but the vast memories of what
she is leaving behind swirl around inside the mug. She pops the top closed and
puts it in the drink holder between them.
After a short drive, Frederik pulls the car into a familiar wooded
area and turns off the engine. They both open their doors at the same time and
start walking in silence up a trail that is barely visible. Zara takes off at a
slow jog with her brother following behind, yelling at her.
“ZARA FAITH, if you fall and hurt yourself, we will both be
dead! You know that. Father will kill me first and make you watch.” His last
statement stops Zara in her tracks.
Fredrik runs into the back of his sister. “Zara!”
They walk the last few yards slowly and cautiously in silence.
At the clearing, Zara rushes to the creek’s edge to listen to the sounds of the
water rushing by. Sitting upon a boulder, she stares into the churning bubbles.
Fredrik sits on the ground next to her and offers her a handful of smooth stones
to toss in.
With a light toss, the stones hit the water in a series of
lyrical plops. Zara brushes her hand off on her jeans. Not accustomed to
wearing anything but shorts or shirts in the southern summer heat, she wanted
to wear her favorite jeans on her last day in her home and had dug them out
days ago in preparation.
“Hello?” Zara hears Fredrik say as if repeating himself. “Did
you hear anything I just said?”
Zara shakes her head and shrugs.
“I asked if you remember the stories Mother used to tell us
about Aunt Laura. Do you ever think about that?”
Fredrik realizes Zara is not going to answer so he gets up
to gather more stones. “I wonder why she stopped telling us about Aunt Laura. Those
were great stories.”
Zara pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms
around them, making herself as small as possible. She lays her cheek on her
knee. Taking a deep breath and speaking very slowly to control her words, Zara
explains to her younger brother, “After one of your doctor visits, I made a
comment that I wanted to be a doctor.”
“What?”
Zara turns and looks at Fredrik. “Mother stopped telling us
stories about Aunt Laura because she broke from the Community. She left because
she wanted a different life. She secretly took college entrance exams and
scored high enough for scholarships. Then one night, she snuck out to start a
new life for herself. She got her education and now she has a career doing who
knows what or where.
“As soon as I was old enough to connect the dots, Mother sat
me down to explain that my future was already decided for me. I was not going
to become a doctor. I was not going to get an education. And I was definitely
not going to sneak out in the middle of the night.”
Zara turns her head back toward the creek when she finishes
speaking.
Fredrik is quiet for a moment. He walks closer and kneels
next to her. “Zara, do you wish it was different?”
“It is not different, Fredrik. Not for me. I have known for
years that this day was coming. It does not make it any easier. Thank you for
bringing me here. This was the perfect place to bring me, my temporary escape. The
one place on earth where I can forget who I have to be and can just be. Would
you do something for me?”
“I will try. You know that.”
“Would you just talk… about anything? I will miss the sound
of your voice and I want to lock it in my memory before we have to go.” Zara
forces the words out around the large lump in her throat.
“WOW! Am I on the spot or what? Okay! This is my last
opportunity to tell you how much I am in awe of you. You are the strongest
person I know. The training that you have had to endure to get you ready for
today… learning different positions, serving lessons, mental lessons to deal
with whatever situation you have to deal with. I know that I only know portions
of what your training entailed because Father did his best to see that I stayed
as far away from that as possible.
“But mostly I am sorry that you had to grow up thinking that
your opinions and thoughts were not valid or even considered,” Fredrik exclaims
firmly as he kicks at something on the ground in front of him.
Zara jumps off the rock and throws her arms around her
brother. He wraps his arms around her waist and takes two steps back to prevent
them from toppling over into the creek together.
“You have always listened to me, Fredrik. You made me feel
heard. All the time we spent talking in my room will be memories that I will
keep with me forever.”
Releasing her brother, Zara is surprised to see his eyes are
filled with tears.
“Sorry, I know we are not the most affectionate family, but…”
Fredrik pulls Zara into another bear hug. He whispers into her hair, “I think
you would make a great doctor.”
“That was just a child’s comment. I wanted to be a
policeman, banker and jockey that same year. Dreaming is dangerous for the
daughters of King Council members. I stopped a while ago.”
After a moment, he releases her and the siblings stand at
the edge of the creek in silence. It is Fredrik who bends down and picks up a stone
to throw in the creek with a loud plop.
“I remember when we were younger, you would take care of me
for hours. You are only two years older… just a kid yourself. You never seemed
to mind that I followed you everywhere. You have been the best sister. I am
going to miss you like crazy.”