Because of Ellison (16 page)

My thoughts immediately went back to what Hunter and I had
almost done. For a split second I was thankful it hadn’t gone as far as it
could have and I regretted not having kicked him between the legs as he hobbled
home. I’d felt sorry for him then — but now I was thinking he’d gotten
off too easily. Well, not ‘off off’, but you know what I mean.

“She was perfect; her hair, her clothes, her makeup, her
nails. There wasn’t a single part of that woman that wasn’t put together. I
can’t compete with that, Lily. I don’t know the first fucking thing about most
of it.” I was babbling because of my anger. Normally girls like Tiffany didn’t
bother me and I usually felt sorry for them because they spent more time
looking at themselves in a mirror than they did looking at the world around
them. It had to get depressing spending day in and day out watching yourself
get older. But that was beside the point and this girl was different. I’d
opened myself up to Hunter, I’d exposed my heart, and I’d had it ripped from my
chest with nothing more than a stupid expression written across his face.

“Her boobs were fake. Your boobs are much better, if you ask
my opinion.” It was Lily’s weak attempt at consoling me. Oddly, it did kinda
help.

“Thanks.” I looked down at my chest and remembered all the
things Hunter had been doing to it only a few hours before. God, I hated him
— although he was really good at what he was doing to it. I can admit
that. And it just made the situation that much more sucktastic.

“So, did she say if she’s staying? How much longer do we
have to deal with her being around?”

Lily shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.
She didn’t really say much. She just kept stressing that she was Hunter’s girl
and she wanted to see him. I was as shocked as you. I take it Hunter never
mentioned her.”

I folded my arms on the table and laid my head on top of
them. “No, of course not. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have … ”

Her eyes bugged out. “Wouldn’t have what? Oh shit, Ellie,
did you have sex with Hunter? I mean
,
I knew you two
were hanging out and all, but I didn’t think it was that serious.”

Burying my head even farther beneath my crossed arms, I
attempted to hide the shame reddening my cheeks. “Almost.”

Lily sighed, but then reached out to rub my head. “Well,
almost ain’t all the way, so you shouldn’t be
hidin
’
your shame just yet.”

She knew me so well.

Looking up again, I held the ice closer to my throbbing
hand. “It might as well have been all the way. There wasn’t an inch of me he
didn’t see or touch.” We sat in silence for a few moments while I gathered
myself together. It wasn’t the end of the world. Hunter was never going to be
anything more than a summer love and I was more mad at myself for having fallen
for someone who’d be leaving. This was the same, just earlier than expected.
Whether it was the end of summer or the arrival of Tiffany, Hunter McCormick
was going to leave my life. But, it was also knowing that we’d done things just
a few hours before while he knew full well he had a girl back home — that
enraged me and I thought maybe her arrival was a blessing in disguise. My heart
would still grieve, but it would be an angry grievance, the kind I could push
past me. It wouldn’t be the longing grievance — one where I was angry
that fate had been cruel and made it impossible for me to be with someone I
loved.

“Are you still going to the bonfire tonight? I can have Ryan
pick me up if you aren’t feeling up to it … or I could just stay here and take
out a few gallons of ice cream with you until you’re better.”

I looked up into the kind eyes of my friend and decided that
I didn’t want to be one of those women wallowing around in misery. “I’m still
going, Lil. Hunter is a lesson learned and nothing more than that. Can’t stop
moving forward because of an arrogant asshole that crossed my path. I’m sure
there will be plenty more of them by the time we finally start back at school.
I might as well learn to get past it now.”

“That’s my girl. Okay — I’m going to go next door and
start getting ready.” She eyed me. “You should probably get a shower. You’ve
got grass and dirt all over you. What were you doing? Rolling around in the … ”
Her eyes got wide. “Oh.”

I wanted to smack her. Gently, of course.

“Okay, well, I’m leaving.” She bounced out of her chair,
leaned down to give me a quick hug, and then bounced her little butt right out
the front door. Sasha and Bear came up to me after she left and gave me little
sympathy licks on my legs. I reached down to pet them and then pushed myself up
from the table to feed them. I didn’t really feel like going to a bonfire, but
I figured it was safer to hang out there than to stick around and risk running
into Hunter and his girl.

~
    
~
    
~

I’d showered and dressed, paying particular attention to
drying my hair into loose waves and throwing on the tiniest amount of makeup. I
was upset, but I wasn’t dead and there was no reason to go out in public
looking like someone had just run over my puppy.

Stepping into the living room, I found my dad sitting in a
chair at the table in the adjacent dining room. He was looking over paperwork
and his facial expression screamed fear and frustration.

“Daddy? Why are you home so soon from work?” It was only six
in the evening and normally he wouldn’t arrive back for another hour or so.

“Hey, Ellie baby. You should probably take a seat. I need to
tell you something’.”

I didn’t like the defeated tone to his voice, but I slowly
made my way over to him and sat down. “Everything, okay? Did you get news from
the doctors?” Looking down, I noticed that the papers in his hands were bills
and financial ledgers. I didn’t see anything medical within them and that made
me feel better about his mood. If it was money problems, those could be solved.
They weren’t something that would crush me.

“Baby.” He paused and sighed. Placing his hand on mine, he
continued, “Baby, the doctors are
sayin
’ that I have
prostate cancer. It’s at an early stage and they think it’s operable and I’ll
be fine — but they want to run a few more tests to make sure that it
isn’t anywhere else. They said my heart and lungs are good, so that’s a good
sign.”

“Okay.” My throat closed up suddenly with fear and I choked
back some tears that were threatening the back of my eyes. The doctors said
they could fix it — and I had to rely on that. “So, when I are they
running the next tests?”

“Tomorrow. I know you kids have plans tonight, but I was wondering
if you could be sure to come home early enough that you can drive me to the
hospital in the morning. I’d ask your brother, but I don’t want this getting
out and worrying people until we know more. I hate to worry you, but I know
you’ve got the best head on your shoulders than any of the other clowns in this
family and you’ll take it in stride.” He pinched my cheek.

My father’s health was more important than a stupid party
and I made the instant decision to stay home and take care of him rather than
go out. “I’ll stay home. I don’t want to chance not being able to take you.”

His expression softened and he squeezed my hand. “Baby girl,
you’re young and it’s the summer before college. There’s no reason for you to
be sitting around here worrying over an old man. Go out tonight, have fun …
just not too much. I’ll be sitting here for a few more hours figuring out the
medical bills and making sure I can still put you through college. You got a
bright future ahead of you and I’ll be damned to let my illness get in the way
of that.”

It was just like daddy. He’d spent his entire adult life
putting his problems aside to raise his kids. And even now, when he was facing
a potentially fatal disease, he was still only concerned for his kids. The man
would work himself to death if it meant giving his children what they needed
and it broke my heart to think about it. Someone needed to be worrying about
him as much as he was worrying about us.

“Are you sure, Daddy? I don’t mind stayin’. We could hang
out and watch a movie or something’. Tell you what … I’ll even sit through a
black-and-white war movie without complaining if that’ll make you feel better.”

He chuckled and ruffled my hair with his hand. “There’s no
need to torture yourself like that right now, baby girl. Your old man isn’t
dying tonight. I’d prefer you go out and have a good time. Keep an eye on your
brother for me. That would make me feel better.”

I nodded just as someone knocked on the door. Lily entered
without waiting for a response. “Hey, El and Mr. James.” She bounced over to
the table and took a seat by daddy. Giving him a quick hug, her big blue eyes
next turned to me. “You ready? … ”

The funny expression on her face told me something was up.

“’Cause I kinda mentioned the bonfire in front of Hunter and
his girl and she’s dragging him out to it. You shoulda seen the fit she threw.
Poor guy didn’t hear the end of it for almost two hours. I had to throw on some
headphones just so I could get a break. She’s got some lungs on her, that’s for
sure.”

And an annoying fucking voice — I remembered that much
from the little bit she said at the car. “Serves him right. Hopefully, she’s
still blasting him now that you left. What was she yelling at him about it, I
thought he wanted to go even before she got here.”

“He doesn’t want to now. He kept trying to convince her to
go back home. Claimed he broke up with her over a voicemail, but she wasn’t
hearin’ it. He’d just broke down and agreed to go around the time I left. But,
I promise you, that boy didn’t want to get her anywhere near the bonfire
tonight. Thank goodness Dad wasn’t around ‘cause he would have thrown a fit
over the fighting they were doing.”

Daddy looked between Lily and me. “What’s it matter if that
boy has a girl back home?” His eyes locked to mine. “Especially, considering
he’s nothing more than a friend to you, right?”

“Right.” I hated lying to my dad, but there was no point
bringing up mistakes that wouldn’t happen again. “We should get going, Lil.
Finn, Ryan and Jake will be looking for us once they help get the fire built.”

“Well, you two girls have fun. Be sure to act like ladies. I
know those kids are drinking and carrying on down there and you’d better act
like you’ve been raised better than that. I trust you girls to make your own
decisions, but don’t think I’m not aware of what’s going on at those parties.
Hear me?”

“Yes daddy.”

“Yes Mr. James.”

I hugged my father and dragged my feet as we walked towards
the front door. Taking a deep breath, I called the dogs to follow me, I opened that
door and I stepped out into what would end up being an emotionally exhausting
night.

Hunter

Tiffany.

Of all the people that could have pulled up and invaded my
little piece of paradise, it would be Tiffany. It could have been my parents
and it could have been my friends. But, no! It had to be a girl I felt
obligated to! Even though I couldn’t stand to be in her presence.

“Want another line before we go. I just need to fix my
makeup real quick and brush my hair.” She fished around in one of the countless
suitcases she’d dragged inside. “I can’t wait to get to a hotel tonight. This
place is a fucking dump.” She pulled out a pair of fuck me heels from the
suitcase she was searching. “I’m going to change my shoes as well. Can’t go to
a party looking like a slob.”

She winked, but it didn’t do the same things to me that it
did when Ellison was winking.

Almost immediately after she’d arrived, she’d pulled out a
couple of grams of coke she’d brought along for the trip. She must have flown
down on her parents’ private plane because there was no way in hell she’d snuck
that past security at a regular airline. She’d offered it to me before Lily
arrived back at the house and I’d sucked it up into my nose as quickly as I
could get the dollar bill rolled up. I felt guilty as shit for doing it, but I
needed it to help numb me.

I couldn’t stop imagining what Ellison was doing at her
house. I’d seen that look on her face when
Tiffany’d
introduced herself. It was a look of sadness and anger mixed into one. It was
desolation and it was betrayal. It was everything she’d thought I’d done to
her. And somehow I knew
,
it would be a fight to get
her to give me the chance to explain. Ellison was the type of girl who gave you
one chance — and if you fucked it up, you might as well pack your shit
and move along. And I’d fucked it up. Big time.

However, even knowing that, I was still determined to
explain.

I didn’t want to take Tiffany to the bonfire. I wanted her
out of Florida and out of sight of Ellison. I could handle waiting it out for
Tiffany to leave before making Ellison understand, but having to drag Tiffany
around Ellison, and not having had the chance to explain, that was a recipe for
disaster. I could have kicked Lily for even mentioning it in Tiffany’s presence.
I was about 10 seconds away from convincing Tiffany to stay the night in a
hotel and go home … but then Lily had to go and open her big mouth. I didn’t
even know why Tiffany was interested.

“You do realize that this party is out in the woods right?
Like with grass and trees and shit. Those shoes are going to suck if you wear
them, Tiff. Plus, I don’t even think you’ll have a good time. It’s just a bunch
of rednecks drinking beer out of plastic cups.” I yelled at her across the
house praying that she’d change her fucking mind and drive us into town.

“No way, Hunter! I want to see what you’ve been doing all
this time — or who you’ve been doing. There has to be some reason you
felt the need to break up with me over voicemail. It’s a good thing I came down
here to show you that you didn’t really want that. Distance is hard so I
forgive you.”