Because of Ellison (12 page)

“Everything okay, Ellison?”

Her eyes shot to mine, but the clear blue was covered by
shadow. “Yeah. Why?”

I tried to search her face, but she was doing a good job
concealing her thoughts. “Because you’re drinking pretty heavily. Is something
up?”

She shook her head, the effects of the beer she’d just
downed already apparent in her movements.

“Are you driving home tonight?”

Shaking her head again, she used her thumb to motion in the
direction Finn had walked. “Finn can drive if I drink too much. I just feel
like relaxing tonight. Really, nothing’s up.” Her words were slightly slurred
and I looked around to see if she’d had any other beers before I’d arrived to
the blanket. I didn’t see any, but she could have been using the same cup.

Finn returned and Ellison turned her attention back to her
guitar. He didn’t restart his previous interrogation of me and I was glad for
that. The last thing I needed at the moment was to be judged by a really nice
guy who I would feel horrible for punching in the face; but I couldn’t help it,
that’s all I wanted to do to the guy. Hours passed and at some point I got up
from the blanket to walk around and socialize. There was a group of hot blondes
giggling off to the side at one point and one brave girl made her way over to
me. She smiled the sweetest grin that was curled unevenly to the side
indicating that she’d had one too many of the wine coolers she was holding in
her hand.

“Hi, I’m Amber. I haven’t seen you around here before. Are
you new to town or
somethin
’?”

Her southern accent was divine and the dog in me started
moving front and center. I flashed the million dollar dimpled grin and my
stance instantly went into one of interest. I swaggered up closer beside her.
“I’m from New York. I’ve been down for a few days. I didn’t move
,
I’m just staying for the summer.”

Her eyelashes batted over her large brown eyes. “Where you
stayin’?”

“With my cousin, Lily McCormick.” I held out my hand. “My
name’s Hunter.”

She took my hand and I surprised her by pulling it to my
lips. I was in full dog mode and I could tell the girl was quickly becoming
putty in my hands. Her lips curled more and a small dimple popped out on her
left cheek. It was a girl after my own heart. Letting go, I took another swig
of my beer.

“With Lily, huh? I live about two miles south of you. We
should meet up while you’re in town.”

I didn’t want to be talking to her. I wanted to be sitting
next to Ellison where I should have been if Mr.
Sensitive-Guitar-Playing-Nice-as-Hell-Nature-Guy didn’t already occupy the
spot! Feeling rejected and hurt, I turned on the boyish charm with Amber. “And
what would we do?” My voice may have dropped to a seductive tone when I asked
that, but what can I say? It came natural to me.

She smiled brighter and her eyelids hooded over the brown.
Bingo. Right where I wanted her. “I dunno. I’m sure we could come up with
something. There’s a bunch of parties farther into the city. They’re a hell of
a lot more wild than what goes on ‘round here.”

Tiffany. All I could see was Tiffany standing before me: the
hair, the clothes, the fingernails, the makeup, the jewelry and the
personality. It was her — just in a non-wealthy, southern form. My first
instinct was to brush her off and avoid that complication, but, despite my
intelligence, I didn’t seem to have any common sense when it came to girls or
getting fucked up. My heart was hurting because of a certain blonde singing to
her ex on a blanket not more than 20 feet away from where I stood. I needed
something to numb it. Plus, it wasn’t like Ellison wanted anything to do with
me anyway. If she did, she’d be by my side where she should be. I needed to
forget about her.

Amber and I launched into a flirtatious conversation. I
wasn’t holding back. First it started with talking, then it moved on to talking
with little touches on the arms, then it progressed forward to where she leaned
up to kiss me. But, the feel of her lips on mine did nothing for me. It wasn’t
Ellison. It didn’t smell like Ellison. It didn’t taste like Ellison. And it
pissed me off.

I pulled away from Amber and she scowled in response. I
looked up just in time to catch Ellison’s blue eyes. She was staring right at
me — and she looked hurt or mad or …
fuck
!
I didn’t know. But she didn’t look normal.

She was standing near the kegs and as soon as I looked up at
her, she turned and strode quickly in the direction of the distant woods. I
looked to the blanket, only to watch Finn get up and chase after her. When
they’d disappeared into the tree line, I excused myself from Amber’s company
and I went in search of them. I didn’t care that I took the chance of walking
into something I didn’t want to see and I knew Ellison said there was nothing
between them — but I had to see for myself. I hoped they’d do something
to prove they weren’t as
over
as
she’d claimed and I could get over these annoying fucking feelings I had for
her. But at the same time, I was afraid to see it; afraid I’d want to rip her
away from him, throw her over my shoulder and run like hell. It was stupid. I
knew that, but I went after them anyway.

Making my way into the woods, I was ambushed by a large
spider web that wrapped itself tightly around my face. I wanted to vomit. I
immediately freaked out — as quietly as possible — and I pulled the
little bits and pieces off of me, hoping and praying there wasn’t some
gargantuan eight-legged creature currently crawling its way down my back. When
I felt satisfied that I’d done all I could to deal with that obstacle, I pushed
further into the woods — and instantly tripped over a large root and went
down like a stone. See what I told you? Nature and me didn’t mix. I’m not sure
why it was being kind when I was with Ellison but I decided that her being in
tune with the bastard must have somehow rubbed off on me when I was in her
company. Now that I was alone, nature was coming at me at full strength.

After a few more embarrassing incidents that would most
likely end in a couple good bruises, I located El and Finn talking in a small
clearing. Ellison sat on top of a large rock and Finn knelt down beside her.
She was crying softly and it broke my heart.

“He might be sick, Finn. I don’t want you telling anybody,
but I can’t be afraid like this on my own. Please, PLEASE, don’t say anything,
especially to Jake or Lil. That’s for daddy to tell and he’s not worried, but I
am.” Ellison whispered as she spoke, but her voice still carried to where I
could hear it.

“I won’t say anything. But, it’s too soon for you to freak
out, in fact, besides him being
tired,
there is
nothing to freak out about. They always want to run tests, that’s what doctors
do.” His hand reached up to rub along her back and I wanted to break his
fingers off. But I refrained.

A slight smiled creased her lips. “I know. It’s just a bad
feeling I have. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Why’d you run off into the woods, El?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Same reason I’m drinking, I
guess. I’m just worried.” I don’t know how I knew it, but I knew she was lying.
I could just tell.

Finn nodded his head. He stood up and reached down to grab
her hands and
help
her stand up. And then it happened.
He leaned over and he kissed her. My hands instantly fisted and I could feel
blood rushing through my veins, but I just stood there like some fucking voyeur
… watching. Damn if Ellison wasn’t right. I was a creepy stalker.

She pushed him away suddenly. Lifting her arm to wipe off
her mouth, she glared at him. “What the fuck, Finn
?!
I
can’t believe you just fucking did that. I’m confiding in you as a FRIEND and
you take advantage of that by kissing me?”

Finn held his hands up. “Babe, I’m sorry, I just thought … ”

“Just thought what? I should kick your ass for this! I’m
already fucked up emotionally and you go and add to it? And I’m not your
‘babe’! Stop referring to me like we are anything more than friends. Please! I
just want to go back, Finn. I just want things to be like they were. You were
my best friend; we got along like that. But we do not work as anything more.
Get that through your thick fucking skull!”

I was glad I’d spilled my beer on that first fall in the
woods. I needed to get sober and I needed to do it fast. There was no way I was
letting that guy drive her home.

“Ellison, just come back to the fire with me.”

“No Finn.” She sat back down. “Please, just go and give me a
minute. I’ll go back in a little bit, but I just want to be alone right now.”

Finn stood silent for a few seconds, but eventually he
turned and left the woods. I stood watching her. She’d stopped crying and she
had her elbows braced on her knees and her head cradled in her hands.

And then a twig snapped under my foot and my cover was
blown.

Ellison looked up and I stepped out from behind the shrubs
where I’d been hiding. I felt like an idiot. Once again, I was acting like a
little punk bitch and this girl was the one doing it to me.

“Hunter? What the hell is wrong with you guys? First Finn
and now you’re pulling the creeper, stalking act again? Fuck!” She threw her
hands up and stood up from the rock. “Did you hear everything?”

I nodded. I was ashamed, but I wouldn’t lie to her.

“Great. Just fucking great. Don’t say anything to Lily or
Bill, Hunter. I don’t know if I’m not freaking out over nothing and I don’t
need the whole family getting upset.”

“I won’t say anything, Ellison. I promise you. That’s not
why I’m out here. I just wanted to know what was up with you … and Finn.”

Her eyes shot to mine. “Why do you care, Hunter? I told you
before; I’m not a fling. What happened this afternoon, it was a mistake. I’m
not going to say I hated it or anything, or that I’m mad about it, but it was a
mistake, nonetheless.”

The words sliced through my heart. I was eviscerated and I
was broken and I didn’t know why. This was ridiculous. She was right, I knew
she was right, I knew this could be nothing, but my heart didn’t know it. I
didn’t even know why my heart was getting such a strong vote when it came to my
thoughts on the matter. It had never said anything to me before Ellison and I
was annoyed that it wouldn’t shut up now.

“I know, but I … I don’t know, El. I just want to be around you
and I have no idea why. I’ve only known you for three days, most of which we
spent arguing or screwing with each other, but I can’t stop thinking about
you.” The alcohol had apparently helped loosen my lips and I was confessing
things to her that I didn’t want to admit to her, much less, myself.

She frowned and looked away without responding.

“Why did you get so mad when you saw that girl kiss me? You
were staring right at me and then you ran off. I was worried about you.”

She huffed out a breath. “I don’t know. I’m not worried
about it. But I’d watch it with Amber, if I were you. She’s been around and
there are rumors about certain health issues she might have. I’m not one to
spread the rumors, but I don’t want you going home with a permanent reminder of
your stay, if you know what I mean.”

I nodded again when she added, “And be careful with drugs,
Hunter. I don’t agree with your lifestyle and I think it’s stupid considering
how smart you are, but it’s your choice. Amber’s big into some heavy stuff at
times, so just don’t go doing something stupid.” She looked up at me. “Lily
says you’re smart. I haven’t seen it yet, but I imagine she must be telling the
truth for some reason.
There’s
not many people who can
make that claim. You should do something useful with it rather than flushing it
down the toilet with drugs. It’s your life, Hunter and you don’t have to listen
to what I say — but I still have to say it. So, there; I said it.”

At that moment, I realized I was right. She did know why I
was down here, she hated me for it, and I felt ashamed by it. I’d never
apologized for my lifestyle before, but she was somehow changing that in me.
She made me feel like it made me a bad person

I approached her and we stood nose-to-nose and
chest-to-chest because I’d walked up so close. She craned her neck to look up
at me and I raised my hands to smooth down her arms. But I couldn’t touch her.
I held my hands at her shoulders and I looked down at her longingly, but I just
couldn’t push past the thin, invisible force that seemed to surround her. I
didn’t want to be like Finn. I didn’t want to push myself on her when she was
already upset about something else. It wasn’t fair to her. The energy from her
body brushed across my palms and I felt twisted up inside that I couldn’t
actually touch her.

Her eyes blinked slowly and the blue was shining in contrast
with her red-rimmed eyes. I could smell the beer on her and she swayed
slightly. “Please don’t, Hunter. Please don’t make this harder.” Her voice was
a breathy whisper and I closed my eyes in reaction to it. I wanted to do more
than touch her. I wanted to sweep her up in my arms and cradle her to me. I
wanted to hold her until all the pain and worry left her body. I wanted to tell
her I’d take care of her, that I’d cherish her, that I’d … that, in reality,
I’d end up leaving her.

I’d never felt pain before like I did at that moment. It
tore at me. Physical fucking jolts shot through my body and my chest tightened.
But I pulled my hands back to myself. I protected her heart by not touching
her.

For once, I was trying not to be the selfish bastard I knew
I was.

She sniffled after I pulled my hands away; but then she
nodded her head once and looked up like she’d just fought the same battle as
me. “We’re friends, Hunter. I like you and, if I need anything right now, it’s
a friend. I need someone I can talk to that’s not part of all this, who isn’t
involved.”