Barbarian's Mate (14 page)

The shadow falls over me again.

And then I’m plucked from the ground and something hot and wet surrounds me like a vise. There’s a horrible stink and something hard and pointed drags against my bared skin. Teeth. The vise flexes and then it grows completely dark.

Oh my God. My thoughts are in an utter panic — I’ve just been eaten alive.

“
Jo-see
!”

“
J
O-SEE
!”
My mate’s name is ripped from my throat at the sight of the sky-claw as he descends on her and his pointed mouth plucks her from the snow as if she is nothing, a mere tidbit of meat.

My heart stops in my breast. I stagger to my knees.

My mate.

My everything. She’s gone.

No. No. No.

“NO!”

The life crushes from my chest as I watch the sky-claw flap its wings and lift into the air again. It begins to soar, all wing and sinew and massive, massive jaws.

My mate.

I let out another anguished cry of her name, staggering after the creature even though I know there is no way I can catch him. I cannot fly. Even if I could, my Jo-see is gone.
Gone
.

I am in agony. I watch the creature soar away and turn my knife to my breast. I will not live without her. I cannot. There is no world if it does not have her smile and her bright, sparkling eyes in it.

“I have failed you, my mate,” I say, placing my knife over my chest. The plates protecting my heart will not let me stab directly; I shove the knife against one and watch as blood wells against my skin. All it will take is one solid thrust and then I will join her. My gaze seeks out the loathsome sky-claw in the distance.

The creature is a black spot growing smaller on the horizon.

Then, it wobbles in mid-air.

Dips.

Falters.

The wings begin to beat erratically. It struggles to climb higher in the air, only to plummet further.

Fury rushes through me. I chase after it, moving swiftly over churned snow. It disappears over the next ridge and I race after it. I will cut out its heart with my knife and offer it to scavengers. I will hack out its eyes and flay the skin from its filthy body for daring to eat my mate.

Another anguished cry rips from my throat as I find it on the ground, the delicate wings flapping against the earth. It’s writhing in front of me, unable to fly. The creature is unlike any other bird I have seen - the face is a scaly, pointed triangle with thick, tufted brown fur on its throat and body. The wings are naked and stretched thin between finger-joints like fine leather stretched tight over a privacy screen over a cave. The entire thing is longer than some caves I have seen. It is hideous.

But it is on the ground.

Now’s my chance.

I give another cry of anger and stab at the thing’s throat. My knife sinks into the throat, and hot blood splashes over me. With a vindictive howl, I drag my blade through the throat until it the thrashing head goes limp and I am covered in its lifeblood.

That was for Jo-see
.

I stab my knife into its side, just under the wing, unsatisfied. I do not know why it landed, but I will take the opportunity to avenge my mate. I will carve it into pieces and enjoy every stab of my blade. Another howl of anguished loss escapes me. My face is wet with blood and the tears that must be streaking down my face. In one moment, I have lost everything.

Everything.

“I had a mate,” I snarl at it, stabbing my knife into its side again. “And I
loved
her! You took her from me!” Over and over, my knife sinks into it. Then, I rest a hand, my heart pounding, against the creature’s large belly.

The belly moves.

I recoil backward, staring. Is it pregnant? Are more young about to spill forth from the creature? But the belly moves again, and then something sticks out of the center of the belly…something small and hard and pointed, wet with red blood. A tooth—

Or a knife.

My khui, silent until now, bursts into song.

Another howl escapes my throat, and my movements become frantic. “Jo-see! Jo-see!” I slam my knife in next to the other and then begin to slice at the creature’s thick stomach, trying to carve a hole. The thick, blubbery hide over the stomach fights me, and I snarl as I put both of my hands on the handle of my blade and use all of my strength to cut deeper, wider.

A bloodstained hand emerges, human fingers reaching and frantic.

Joy blasts through me, and I continue cutting. My mate!

My mate
!
She lives!

When the creature’s abdomen is hacked open, I grab the reaching hand and brace a foot against the belly of the creature and heave with all my might. The wound makes an awful sucking sound, and I pull harder. A growl of fury escapes me and then I pull again, determined. It will not keep her.
It will not
.

Then, the creature’s stomach gives way and Jo-see, wet, covered in gore and gasping for breath, slides out of it and into my arms.

My mate.

My everything.

I shout her name and pull her against me, no matter that she is soaked and covered in filth. My hand goes to her wet hair and I cradle her head - her sweet, sweet human head - against my chest.

My mate.

“C-couldn’t b-b-breathe,” she chokes out, shuddering against me. Her sticky hands work against my chest and then she curls them into fists. Her breath gasps from her lungs. “I couldn’t see. I couldn’t move—“ She bursts into tears and then begins to sob hard, burrowing against me. “Oh my God.”

“I know,” I tell her, stroking her blood-slicked hair back from her face. “Shhh. I have you, my mate.” I press my mouth to her smooth brow, not caring that she is filthy and I am not much better. She is mine, forever. The agony of the last few minutes surges through me and I stagger. The only thing that keeps me upright is that Jo-see sags against me. I press my mouth to her skin frantically again. “I thought I had lost you.”

She just sobs, pressing her cheek to my chest.

My poor mate. I want to clutch her against my chest forever and never let her go, but she is shivering and upset. I throw my pack down on the ground and tear it apart, pulling out the bedrolls. I wrap her in the furs, not caring that she is filthy. She must be warm. “Do not cry, my mate. I will take care of you.”

“S-says the g-g-guy that wasn’t just s-s-wallowed fucking whole!”

“I know,” I murmur, kissing and touching her everywhere. I cannot stop reaching for her. I will never stop seeing that awful vision of the sky-claw swooping low to scoop up my mate as if she is nothing.

I will protect her with my life.

Once she is bundled in the furs, I pick her up and begin to run. I do not care how long it will take to get her to the next hunter cave, I only know that she is not leaving my sight again.

T
he suns are
close to setting behind the horizon when I stagger into the cave. A quill-beast yips and scurries out, and I mentally curse myself for not checking first to see if the cave was occupied. My mind is a whirl of scattered thoughts, all of them focused on one thing - keep my mate safe.

Jo-see has been quiet for some time, and I set her down gently inside. “Wait here.”

She shivers and nods, but does not speak. When the shadows move over her face, I see a blank look there. It worries me.

So I work quickly. I scoop up the offal left by the quill-beast and sweep the cave clean with a dvisti-tail whisk broom left by the last occupant. I left many of our supplies out on the trail in my haste to clothe Jo-see in our furs, but they do not matter. I can make new hooks, new knives. I can collect new fire-making supplies. All that matters is her.

I build a fire and soon have water melting in the pouch. My tea is gone, left back on the trail. It does not matter - the water will be used to bathe her first. After that, I will worry about tea.

Jo-see is quiet in the firelight, but her entire body still trembles.

“Come,” I tell her, and wince when my voice seems unnaturally gruff in the silence. “We are going to bathe you and then we are going to eat something.”

“I don’t think I can eat,” she whispers.

“You can, and you will.” I ignore the fact that we have nothing to eat and I left my travel rations back a way. One problem at a time.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she snaps, turning to glare at me.

I will take her anger. At least she is not staring vacantly ahead. I narrow my eyes and give her an irritated snort in the hopes of riling her temper. “I am your mate. I know best.”

“We’re not mated,” she cries out, and then bursts into new tears. “I almost died and you almost lost a second mate again because I’m a selfish asshole!” Her raw sobs fill the cavern.

I sit, frozen in shock. She was worried about me? All this time? Here I have been frantic with worry over her, how small she is, how shocked she must be, and she is thinking of
me
?

My chest aches. I rub it, ignoring the small nick at the top of my chest, where my knife dug into my skin. To think I almost killed myself while she was still alive in its belly, working to get out. The thought makes me ill.

I crouch in front of her. When she avoids looking at me, I cup her face in both my hands, ignoring how filthy she is. “Jo-see,” I say, waiting for her eyes to meet mine. When they do, I continue. “You were mine the day you landed in this world. I felt a connection the moment I saw you, and it frightened me. When we resonated, I realized that you were always meant to be mine. And I will keep you safe.”

Her eyes shimmer with tears and she opens her mouth to protest.

“I will keep you safe,” I repeat. My thumbs smooth over her rounded cheeks. “You are mine. That is all you need to know. If you are taken, I will come after you. If you are sick, I will never leave your side. If you leave, I will follow. You will never be without me, because I will come after you. Know this.” I brush my fingers over her breast, where her khui thrums. “Feel this and know it to be true.”

“But we’re not—“

“And when you are well,” I tell her in the same firm voice, cutting off her protest before it starts. “I will lie down with you in the furs and take you as mine. We will mate until you carry my kit. Then, resonance will be sated. But do not seek to tell me that you are not mine yet. Because you have
always
been mine.”

Her wounded eyes blink, and then she nods slowly. “Yours,” she whispers.

“Always,” I growl back.

I
must have passed
out at some point, because I wake up some time later to find the fire crackling higher than normal, and I’m naked on top of the filthy furs. Something warm and wet rubs my arm, and I look over to see that Haeden is carefully bathing me with long, smooth strokes of his hand. There’s a look of intense concentration on his face and I realize for the first time in a while that I am totally, completely safe. He’s not horn-dogging on me, he’s not doing this to score points. He’s doing this because he wants to take care of me. Because I’m important to him.

And I want to tell him that I could kiss him for that, but my brain is still all shocky from earlier and I fall back asleep, letting him take care of things. For once, it’s good to let my guard down and realize someone else has my back.

When I wake up again later that night, Haeden is gone. The fire is crackling and the cave is cozy and warm. New furs that smell a little musty and that must have come from somewhere in the cave are piled on top of me, and I drift back to sleep. Haeden must be hunting. Or something. Strangely enough, I’m not worried. I know he wouldn’t leave me if there was a chance something bad would happen. I sleep on.

I wake up the next morning with Haeden’s arms wrapped tightly around me, and his naked body is under the furs next to mine. We’re spooning and his cock is hard against my butt, but I can hear how deeply he’s asleep. I roll over slowly, my body moving inch by slow inch so I do my best not to wake him up. Every muscle in my body aches, and I don’t know if it’s from the endless hiking or from, ugh, being swallowed whole. Just the thought makes my gorge rise and I spend the next few minutes doing my best not to freak out all over again.

Haeden, however, is warm and strong and wonderful, so I snuggle closer to him and his arms tighten around me reflexively. My cootie is purring loud, joined by his, and the ache between my legs has returned. We need to fulfill resonance, and soon. I lift a hand to smooth it down his chest and realize there are deep scratches down my naked arm. I frown at them, trying to figure out where they’ve come from. The creature’s teeth must have scratched me as I went down its throat.

I shudder hard. It’s going to take me a long fucking time to get over that. If I close my eyes I can still feel the awful clench of its throat as it swallows me.

“Hush,” Haeden murmurs, his hand brushing over my shoulder and down my arm. “I am here. I will not let anything else harm you.”

I want to tease him about his confident words, but they make me feel better. I relax next to him. “Where did you go last night?”

“Hunting. I ran back to pick up our packs, as well.” His fingers brush my cheek. “Were you scared?”

“No. I knew you wouldn’t let me get hurt.” I trace my fingers over his pectorals, just because I like touching him. “I’m a bit banged up, though.”

His eyes remain closed even as his hands roam over my body possessively. “Mm. It will heal soon enough. Do you hurt? Shall I get liidi to numb your aches?”

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of more of that goop. “No thanks. I’m just sore and a bit scratched.” My fingers glide over a deep cut directly over the center of his pectorals and I frown. “Did that thing get you, too?”

“No. I did that.”

I sit up. “You cut yourself? Why?”

He pulls me back down into the furs, all without opening his eyes. Man, he must be wiped. “I did it because I placed my blade there. If you had died, I wanted to follow you.”

“That is so fucked up,” I whisper, shocked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s also the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, but it’s seriously fucked up.”

“You are my mate. There is nothing for me if you are gone.” And he pulls me back down against him and fits my head against his shoulder. “Rest now.”

I relax against him because I know he needs his sleep. I can’t drift off, though. Not without thinking about him, grieving and upset at the thought of losing me. I think hard, and then because I’m insecure, I poke him in the chest to wake him up.

“Did you try to do that after Zalah?”

He struggles awake, blinking at me. “Do what?”

“Did you try to kill yourself after Zalah died?”

He snorts as if amused by the thought. “No. Go to sleep.”

For some reason, this pleases me. I’m more important to him than Zalah was. I shouldn’t care about something so petty…but fuck that, I totally care. And it makes me happy.

If we both weren’t so tired, I’d totally nail him right now.

H
aeden sleeps on for hours
, and I drift off again, too. When I wake up again, it’s (sadly) not to my man nuzzling between my thighs but the scent of cooking meat. Okay, I’ll take that.

I sit up and rub my eyes, yawning. He’s crouched near the fire, slowly turning a spit, his tail flicking back and forth. He’s also naked, and I can see his ball sack hanging between his strong thighs from behind. Most people wouldn’t be able to make that work, but I can’t stop staring at him. He’s so damn sexy.

Remind me again why we’ve been fighting this
? I ask my brain. The ache between my legs increases and I have to physically keep myself from pressing a hand between my legs and masturbating at the sight of him. I must be feeling better.

My cootie’s increased hum alerts him and he glances over his shoulder at me, black braid spilling down his back. “Awake?”

I nod and sit up, letting the covers slide to my waist so he can get a good look at my nudity. “Very awake. How long have we been sleeping?”

He grunts acknowledgment and turns back to the fire, which is disappointing. “It has been a day since…” He coughs as if he cannot say the words, then concludes gruffly, “A day.”

I slide a little closer to him. “Is that all? It feels like longer.”

He nods. He doesn’t look at me.

For some reason, that hurts. “What is it? Why won’t you look at me?”

Haeden glares at the fire. He rubs his chest absently, his khui purring so loud that just the sound of it makes me wet with need. “Because I nearly lost you, and it is taking all of my effort not to throw you down onto the furs and ram my cock into your cunt to claim you.”

Oh. That should not turn me on nearly as much as it does. I squeeze my thighs tight together. “Because…your body hurts?” I guess. “You’re still exhausted?”

He snorts in derision. “Not me. You are not well. You are fragile and need more rest.”

Oh barf, more of this ‘fragile Josie’ shit? Does he think now I’m going to break into a million pieces if he touches me? Because some bird the size of a bus tried to have me as a snack? Because seriously? Yes, I’m traumatized. But the best solution for that would be for him to hold me, not ignore me.

Clearly I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands.

I want to move forward, not backward. I want us to become one.

I
want
to become his mate.

I reach out and grab his swishing tail. It immediately curls around my wrist, feather soft and smooth. He glances over at me then. “Hi,” I say, smiling. “Remember me? Your mate?”

His brows furrow in confusion, not getting my joke.

“You promised you’d practice kissing with me. We can at least do that, right?” I bat my eyes at him, doing my best to look innocent. My plan is an evil one, though. I figure if we start with kissing, he won’t be able to stop.

And really? I think it’s long past time we consummated this thing.

Haeden scowls in my direction as if I’ve just suggested we go for a naked morning jog. “You want to practice kissing? Now?”

“What’s wrong with now?”

“You are tired and ill—“

“I’m not!”

He tries again. “You have had a bad time of things—“

“But you saved me.” I bat my lashes again.

Haeden moves forward, peering at me, and cups my face. “Is there something in your eye?”

God, he really sucks at flirting, doesn’t he? “Nothing,” I say sourly, then change tactics. He wants to play nursemaid? All righty. “Though I do have something that hurts.”

He stiffens, all alarm. “What is it?” His hands smooth over my skin, checking me. “Where do you hurt?”

Aw, man. He’s so worried about me that it takes all the fun out of my idea of cupping my pussy and saying
Here, big boy. I hurt here
. He’s so sweet - and so determined to protect me from everything that could harm me. How did I ever think he was a dick? I pat his chest. “I’m just teasing, Haeden. But I do want to practice kissing.”

His ridged, thick sa-khui brow wrinkles. “Are you sure? I do not want you to exhaust yourself—“

I sit back in the blankets and pat them encouragingly. “I’ll be very careful.”

Haeden gives me a wary look and then nods, joining me in the furs. He moves with grace despite his big body, and I can’t help but stare at the fact that he’s got a raging hard-on already. Is he denying himself for me? How sweet. How misguided. I’d love to help him with that little problem.

Or not so
little
. His cock is impressive and my girl parts give an anticipatory little squeeze. We’re doing this tonight, come hell or high water. I’ve fought long and hard not to be his mate, but it’s funny how things work out. I can’t imagine anyone but Haeden for me. Even his gruffness is just a show, and I realize that now. He’s crabby because he cares too much, and it scares him.

And if that doesn’t make a woman turn to goo like a marshmallow, I don’t know what does.

Haeden thumps onto the furs next to me, his face close to mine. I give him a little smile to let him know that things are fine, that I’m not tired, and that this is gonna be great. I decide to start off slow. “So I know you’re a virgin—“

He scowls. “You keep bringing that up.”

“I bring it up because it’s sexy, big guy.” I shift a little closer to him and put my hands on his chest, letting my slight weight lean against him. “But what I was
going
to say was…how much do you know about kissing?”

As if to show me, he leans in and presses a peck to my mouth. It’s quick, and polite, and like something a stranger would give.

Yeah, that won’t do. I know he knows kisses are filled with emotion - he presses his mouth to my face in almost-kisses all the time, and I get the impression he knows it involves lips but not the depths behind it. Oh, this is going to be fun. “That’s how you start out, yes. But there’s a lot more to it.”

His eyes narrow as if I’ve told him he’s doing something wrong. “My kiss does not please you?”

“It pleases me,” I say quickly, stroking his chest with my hand. “But there are things you can do with mouths and kissing that are even more pleasing.”

The look on his face gets smoldering. “Like when you put your mouth on my cock, or when I lick your cunt?”

Oh, mercy, did it just get warm in here? I half-fan myself. “Like that, yeah. Except we do it to each other’s mouths.”

He looks intrigued. “Why?”

“Because…because.” I’ve never thought about why people kiss. We just do. I slide a hand up his chest and move it to the back of his neck, moving closer to him. “Because it feels good. Because it’s wet and slick and tongues feel amazing.” My words become husky, and I’m getting aroused just talking about things.

“Your tongue felt…amazing…on my cock.” His gaze drops to my mouth. “It is very smooth.”

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it if I tried that.” I can’t help but smile.

“Did you enjoy doing that to me?” His voice has dropped a husky note. “I could smell your arousal when you licked me….and I smell it now.” His hand moves to my thigh. “Do we skip the kissing then, Jo-see? I can lick your cunt until you scream. I enjoy doing so.” He runs his tongue over his lips in anticipation. “Very much.”

Oh, dear lord, such an offer. I’m tempted, but I want to seal the deal with my man, and the incident yesterday has made me crave becoming one with him. I want this. I want all of this. “We’ll get to that later. For now, let’s focus on mouths.” I tap on his lower lip, and then lightly rub it with the pad of my finger. “There’s a type of kiss that we call French kissing.”

“Fransh-kay-seeng?”

“Close enough.” I tease my finger against the seam of his lips. “It’s where I put my mouth on yours - or you put yours on me - and our tongues mate.”

Recognition dawns on his face. “I have seen this.”

“You have?”

He nods. “I never thought to try it. We always seemed too…far from that.” The look on his face gets hungry with need and his gaze moves to my mouth again. “I want to try it, Jo-see.”

“I want that, too.”

His hands go around my waist and he pulls me forward, and then my breasts are pressed against his chest, my legs straddling one of his thick thighs. Our mouths are inches apart…and then he pushes his lips to mine. Not a gentle press, but an awkward push of his face against mine.

I remain still, waiting for him to feel his way through things. It’s a little awkward, but I don’t want him to feel like he’s not doing it right. To encourage him, I part my mouth and when he doesn’t swoop in, I take the initiative and flick my tongue against his.

A groan escapes him and I feel his arms tighten around me. His tongue rubs up against mine and it’s full of ridges and strange creases…just like his cock. I moan as they drags along my tongue and set my nerve endings on fire.

“I like this,” he rasps between licks of his tongue against mine.

Oh boy, I do too. I’m not able to do much more than whimper along with each thrust as he experiments with kissing. He tries moving his tongue in different ways, slicking along mine and trailing along my teeth. When he’s satisfied he’s got the thrusting-tongue part down, he teases my lips with his. The deep, licking kisses turn to light, playful nibbles that make me ache just as much as the others.

He’s entirely too good at this for a beginner, and all I can do is cling to him and enjoy the ride. Over and over he kisses me, mouths melding, tongues teasing, until I’m a quivering lump of woman in his lap. His mouth on mine is doing crazy things to me, and it’s like I can feel my cootie vibrating through every inch of my body right down to my spleen.