Awake (20 page)

“Thirty-nine,” she replied.

That was what I was dying for. So thirty-nine people could supposedly live for eternity in some magical world Donald and Fiona cooked up. Still, people had been killed for less.

“Wow, that’s a lot of people you’ve brainwashed. Nice one.”

She stopped and turned to me. I worried that I’d overstepped the mark. If she thought I believed they’d been completely brainwashed, then she wouldn’t trust me when I started to listen. Had I gone too far?

“It is not brainwashing, Scarlett. From the age of four you have had your mind trapped within society’s walls. Free it now, let me help you, and you
will
see the truth. You are The Light.”

I wanted to laugh in her face. I was human.
Who does she think she is?
I wondered if she’d always been like that – crazy – or if someone made her believe the things she lived by. Eternal Light was older than me. They were going to kill me when I turned four, and you didn’t just decide to do that five minutes after creating a cult or religion – or whatever they wanted to call it.

Half of me wanted to appeal to her as her biological daughter. I thought it was just engrained on you when you gave birth: protect child at all cost. That was how it was supposed to be. Parents were meant to die for their children, not be the ones hurting them.

“We’ll see,” I replied, walking off.

Three people stood on high alert. Spinning to face me, thinking I was going to run, ready to pounce. They didn’t give me much credit if they thought I would run in broad daylight with everyone around.

Fiona held her hand up, and they immediately relaxed. “Do not be alarmed, I am just showing Scarlett around.”

One of them, a plump lady wearing a long skirt and apron, nodded. She looked maternal. Surely she wouldn’t stand by as someone drove a knife into me? Or however they were going to do it.

“Welcome, Scarlett, I am Judith,” the plump lady said. “This is my husband Bill and son Terry. Oh, it is lovely to see you again. It has been so long, sweetheart.”

She knew me before. When I was just a little child. My heart sank with the realisation that she wouldn’t help, if she was willing to stand back and let a four-year-old be killed then she wouldn’t help me at sixteen.

I gritted my teeth and stared.
What’s wrong with you?

“Ah, there are my two girls,” Donald said, coming out of one of the houses.

“And there you are,” Fiona replied. “Are you joining us on the tour?”

“I wish I could, but I have business to attend to. Will you be alright on your own?”

Fiona nodded. “Of course.”

What did he think I was going to do? Could I even do anything? Could I hurt her to get away? I’d never even squished a spider, even though I was scared of them. What a stupid, irrational fear. I was scared of a small bug with eight legs when there were people like this lot in the world.

“Mother/daughter bonding time, huh,” I muttered dryly. “Perhaps after the tour we could drown a litter of bunnies. Or do you only do that to your child?” I was now definitely going too far, but I couldn’t hold back when my stomach tied in knots and I wanted to scream.

Everyone fell silent. Fiona and Donald watched me cautiously.

“I can explain everything, Scarlett, but please keep an open mind,” Fiona said. Hilarious that she would tell me – repeatedly – to keep an open mind when hers was so closed.

“It’s alright,” Donald said when Judith and her family stood open mouthed. “Her mind has been closed off; we have discussed that. This is not a surprise, and we are here to help and not to judge, remember?”

Judith’s husband nodded. “Right, of course. Despite what you may have heard, Scarlett, we are not bad people. You will see that soon.”

I smiled sarcastically and turned to Fiona. “Can we go now?” Standing around listening to that garbage spout out of their mouths was just making me feel ill. I wouldn’t see the ‘light’ or anything else so talking about it was pointless.

Fiona took me past the ten wooden houses and a field before the meadow that was home to different kinds of crops. No wonder Noah only ate ‘real’ and organic food, it was all he’d ever had.

No, don’t think of him.

Ridiculously I still loved who I thought he was and every time I thought about what he’d done it sent sharp, stabbing pains through my heart. He could’ve just befriended me; he didn’t have to make me fall for him first.

In the distance, I saw Bethan and Finn picking what looked like potatoes. I didn’t know where Shaun or Noah were, and I didn’t care.

Ahead of us was a larger wooden building and beside that a small lake that looked out of place for the location. “What’s that?” I asked, lifting my chin to the place in front of us.

“That is our community hall, where we meet most nights. Where we will celebrate being reunited with you.”

“Will you kill me in there, too?”

I wanted to say it as plainly and bluntly as I could in the hope that it would register something in her. She was killing her child. She
had
to understand that.

“I will show you where the rituals will take place and explain everything fully, so you don’t still believe we are taking your life.”

“You do know how death works, right? And what about the
rituals
?” I swallowed glass. What were they going to do to me?

“There are seven in total,” she said as we reached the heavy, wooden double doors. “Please, come inside.” I weighed up my options and took a look over my shoulder. There were too many people about for me to run. One against thirty-nine was not good odds. I couldn’t be reckless.

With trembling hands, I stepped inside. Chairs were stacked along one side. It was bare, a few tables dotted around holding large jugs of fresh, wildflowers. Paintings of nature – the meadow, flowers, trees, water – hung on the walls. Glass lanterns hung from the vaulted ceiling.

Everything they’d done was beautifully simple. They were just insane.

“So you come in here to do what?”

“This is where we hold meetings and celebrations if the weather isn’t nice. This is where we give thanks for you on your birthday. My beautiful daughter. Our saviour.”

“Saviour? Who’s threatening you? As long as you’re not off sacrificing people no one’s gonna care that you’re here.”

“If they hadn’t taken you, I would have raised you and you wouldn’t be so disrespectful.”

“If they hadn’t taken me, I’d be dead.”

“You would be at peace, waiting for us to join you. We have the chance to live another life; this is not the only one we can have, Scarlett.”

She believed that totally. She stared straight into my eyes and said it with so much conviction I understood why so many people were sucked in.

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered, purposefully widening my eyes.

The corner of her mouth twitched. She thought that was the first crack: that my mind was beginning to
open
. Good.

“Faith, my darling. I would not risk my daughter for something I was not completely sure of.”

There it was. My appeal-to-the-mother-in-her plan vanished with her words. Not that I held up much hope for it.

I stood in their pretty barn and knew that my only option was running.

“But what if you’re wrong?”

I felt the tingle of tears and blinked rapidly. She wasn’t going to see me cry. I wouldn’t crumble in front of them.

“I am not. That I can promise you. Now, let me show you the outdoor communal eating area before dinner is served.”

“Will you tell me more about the rituals?”

“Of course. I can tell you some,” she replied, smiling. Some.

I couldn’t work her out. One minute she was cautious of me, suspicious even, and the next she was grinning like I’d just converted to her church of crazy.

“So?” I pressed, not totally sure if I even wanted to know.

“Most involve us calling upon nature, chanting if you will. The first one is a cleansing and the call will be for nature to accept you and accept us. Ritual two,” she started, closing the doors behind us, “links us to you. We have to become one entity to follow you into eternity.”

I gritted my teeth. “And how long will I be in eternity alone until you all follow? You killing yourselves after or waiting out your cosy, little lives here until you die old, fat and happy?”

“It is not what you think, Scarlett; you will be happy. You will be at peace.”

“So you are living out your lives here. Lovely. And I was perfectly peaceful back home.”

“You will understand if you allow yourself to open your mind to us.”

“Perhaps you’ll understand if you open your mind to what’s really going on,” I said. “What’re the other rituals?”

“They are much alike. There is a binding that will then bind us as a whole.”

“I thought I’d already be linked to you all with that first one?”

“That is slightly different. We need a piece of you, so we are physically linked, each one of us to you, and then we need to be spiritually bound as a community.”

That made absolutely no sense. But then what did here?

“Right. Lots of chanting, cleansing and binding.”

She smiled, and it looked a lot like mine. She may look like my mum, but she certainly wasn’t. “Ritual one that will take place tomorrow will be in the lake. But don’t worry, the water is clean.”

She was murdering me in seven days time but thought I’d worry about a little dirty water.

I was speechless for a second before replying a sarcastic, “Great.”

“You will be dressed in a white gown and stand in the middle of the lake. It is not too deep, perhaps waist height on you. Donald and I will bless you and then we will leave. For ten minutes, we will stand near the lake and say a few words.”

“Where will I be?”

“In the water still. To be cleansed you need to be alone, we don’t want to contaminate the blessed area by staying. You are the key to everything, Scarlett. We don’t want to get in the way of your light.”

Then let me go.

“What time are you doing this cleansing?”

“Tomorrow at noon. The water should have warmed up a little.”

I found myself almost thanking her, but fortunately I caught myself. I had
nothing
to thank her for. I turned away, not being able to look at her anymore.

Scarlett

THE MORE I
knew about them, the more terrified I became. There wasn’t going to be any getting through to them. They genuinely believe all the crap about my ‘crossing over’ and ‘opening the door’ for all of our eternal life. In-bloody-sane.

Today marked day one of the ritual and my second full day at the commune. It was too soon for me to jump in the water and cry with happiness because I was The Light, but I also didn’t want to put up too much fight.

I was told to wear one of my white gowns; they hung to the left of the wardrobe. Not giving a crap what I wore, I ripped the first white one off the hanger and threw it on. Tonight was the first ‘ritual’. We were going to be joined or some rubbish like that. We weren’t going to be joined; I was just going to be terrified while they did whatever they felt they had to. Then I’d die.

“Are you ready?” Bethan asked.

The last time I spoke to her she was offering me cake in her kitchen. I straightened my back and stared at the traitorous bitch. How could she have had me over at her house so many times knowing what was going to happen?

“Yes,” I replied sharply.

“Don’t look afraid, Scarlett, this is just the beginning.”

Yeah, that was what I was afraid of.

“Can’t wait,” I said sarcastically.

Smiling, she reached up and placed a headband made from daisies on my head. I almost asked the significance of it, but then I realised I didn’t care.

Fiona and Donald walked me out of their house and towards the lake. The rest of them followed. I didn’t falter one step as we walked past the houses and stopped in front of the water.

“The Light has returned,” Donald said. “She and she alone will lead us into eternal peace and harmony. We will become at one with nature. We accept The Light as our salvation. Cleanse her and let her lead.”

Fiona took my arm and walked me into the water. My bare toes slipped beneath the cool surface, and I wanted to bolt. Donald’s words were insane. This was all insane. Fiona took another step forwards and extended her arm, making me go it alone the rest of the way.

Looking back over my shoulder and purposefully avoiding Noah’s eyes, I took a step closer to the centre. The water stung for a second before I became accustomed to the temperature. Fiona was right about one thing; it wasn’t too cold.

I shook with fear as I reached the middle, flattening the dress to my side, so it didn’t puff up and float to the surface. Turning around, I saw them all standing much further back, watching me. They were in one single row and although I couldn’t hear them I knew they were speaking. Their mouths moved in perfect synchrony.

Leaves rustled in the light wind, making it even harder to hear. I managed to lip read The Light a few times. The dress, now plastered to my legs, felt like it weighed a ton. I might as well be wearing an anchor.

I could run now. They were far enough away that I could get a head start, but it would probably just be a few seconds. And I had no idea where I would go.