Awake (24 page)

“Come on, Scarlett, don’t be like that.”

I turned back. “Don’t be like that? Are you serious right now?”

“We didn’t do any of this to hurt you.”

Sacrificing didn’t fall under the category of hurting?

“Think about that for a second, Finn.”

“Donald and Fiona have explained. Haven’t they?”

My eyes widened. He was questioning with the obvious goal of finding out just how anti-Eternal Light I was. I had been doing so well gradually coming around, and I wouldn’t let anything ruin that, especially not Noah’s brother. He was the only person who seemed to look deeper than the show I was putting on. I’d barely said anything but I could already feel my shot at freedom slipping and it made me feel like breaking down and crying.

I just want to go home.

“They have,” I replied, swallowing my emotions. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared.”

“I suppose that is understandable. You’ve not been here long, by the time of the seventh ritual, you will be sure. All you need to do is keep an open mind and let the truth in.”

Wow, they all sounded the same. That could’ve been Finn, Donald, Shaun or any one of them speaking. There was no difference. You could tell they were singing from the same, la-la-crazy song sheet.

“Right,” I replied.

“Are you sure?” His eyes were too questioning, too searching.

“Finn, a couple of weeks ago I didn’t even know you all existed. I thought two other people were my parents. Forgive me for feeling a little scared and confused right now. I’m human, I need time.”

He looked down, wincing. “You’re right, I’m sorry. That is a lot to deal with. We just want the reunion to be a happy one for us all. Sometimes I overlook what a huge adjustment it is for you. Please remember that you are back with your family now. This is where you belong.”

For the next few days. Until you kill me.

“I’m trying to.”

“It’s all we can ask,” he said, getting up as Fiona walked back over with two plates of pizza.

“Have you had anything to eat yet, Finn?” Fiona asked.

He shook his head. “Noah’s gone for us both.”

I hated how casually everyone spoke about Noah in front of me. There was no consideration for the fact that I was in love with him and he’d betrayed me. But then they didn’t view it as a betrayal. He was doing his duty, the way I would have to at the sacrifice.

Human life didn’t mean anything to them.

Unless it was theirs.

Noah

TODAY MARKED THE
final full day Eternal Light had planned for Scarlett. At lunch, she was expected to give element offerings and tomorrow those elements would guide her into the next stage of her eternal life.

It was only hearing it when you’d turned your back that you really
heard
it.

I had an ice cold shower, not wanting to be comfortable. My muscles locked; skin tightened and stung. It hurt, but I welcomed the pain, the distraction. Tomorrow weighed heavily on my mind. The responsibility choked me. I shut off the shower when I shook so violently that I felt ill. My skin had lost its colour – I was pale and looked lifeless. Wrapping the towel around myself I stood still until I’d dried enough to put clothes on.

I had to pull myself together. If I couldn’t, Scarlett wouldn’t have a chance, and she was all that mattered to me. I dressed quickly, feeling the sting as warmth seeped into my icy skin. I looked tired all the time since I got home with her. Everything that I’d done haunted me, preventing me from sleeping for too long.

Even though I was now doing the right thing, I still couldn’t forgive myself. I never would.

“Noah, are you ready?” Finn asked, knocking once on the door with what sounded like his palm.

“Almost, I’ll meet you there.”

Communal lunch, offerings, communal dinner, then an early night before tomorrow. That was what Donald had ordered for all of us today. He didn’t usually try to tell us what to do and when, we sort of all did that together, but he was completely running the show now.

“Alright, don’t take too long.”

I wanted to take all the time in the world. My nerves were running wild. Although I never had second thoughts about helping her escape, I did about how we were going to do it. Was there a better way? Could I have snuck out of the commune, got help and got back unnoticed before anyone realised I was missing?

Stretching my muscles out, I mentally prepared to lie to everyone again and pretend I was as excited as them. In a way, I was glad this day was here. I couldn’t do this for much longer. Soon I wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. Everyone would know where my loyalties lied and hopefully Scarlett will be safely away.

As soon as the front door closed behind my family, I went to my bedroom. They would be distracted for a while before anyone came to look for me, so I knew I had at least five minutes to find the bag for tomorrow.

There would be a few things that we needed, and while I didn’t have time to pack everything with everyone milling around outside, I needed the bag under my bed ready for me to pack a few things in while everyone was distracted later.

The bags were in the store cupboard beside the bathroom. I opened the long door and reached up on the top shelf to get it, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had come back in. I didn’t want to use the one I brought here because that was still on the chair in my room, unpacked, and would look suspicious if it suddenly disappeared.

I grabbed the lone bag right at the back and headed back to my room. I hated lying and sneaking around but they’d left me with no option.

“Noah,” Finn called.

Jumping, my heart slammed against my chest, and I looked around. He wasn’t near me. Yet. But I was in the middle of the hallway holding a bag. Opening the bathroom door as quietly as I could, I stepped inside and carefully slid the lock in place.

I stopped breathing and pressed my ear to the door so I could try to hear where he was. His footsteps thudded lightly on the wooden floor, but they were getting louder.

“Noah, are you in here?”

I flexed the hand that didn’t have the bag in a death grip. “In the bathroom,” I called.

“You alright?”

“Fine, just needed the toilet. I’ll be back out soon.”

“Sure? You want me to wait?”

No, please just go.

“I’m alright, thank you. See you outside in a minute.”

“Sure,” he replied.

I forced my ear against the door harder, but it was difficult to hear. I felt sick at the thought of being caught. What would I tell him if I walked out there and he’d decided to wait for me anyway?

Giving him enough time to leave, I placed the bag on the floor where it would be hidden when I opened the door, flushed the chain and washed my hands.

My nerves were shot as I unlocked the door and pulled it open. I was met with complete silence. Finn would surely talk to me now if he were here. Poking my head around the corner, I did a quick sweep down the hall. Empty.

I swiped the bag, dashed to my room and shoved it deep under the bed.

“Where have you gone now?” Finn asked.

I froze, crouched on the floor by my bed. He’d been waiting where? Straightening my legs, I turned to face the door a second before he walked through it.

“Alright?”

“I was just contemplating getting a jacket, but I think I’ll be too hot.”

“Yes, it’s warm out. You ready now?”

“I am,” I replied. “You didn’t have to wait.”

He shrugged. “I was worried when you didn’t come out.”

I smiled as I left my room, closing the door behind me. “Let’s do this,” I said.

“Alright!” Finn didn’t hide his excitement. I used to feel the same when we spoke about what was going to happen and what Scarlett was leading us to.

When we left the house, the last few people were making their way to our outdoor dining area. They carried vases of water and bright green leaves.

Scarlett stood in a long, white dress that made me think about marrying her one day. She was undeniably beautiful, naturally beautiful. She had no make-up on, and nothing had been done to her hair, but she took my breath away.

“Finally,” Zeke said, handing me and Finn a lantern.

Donald was, as usual, the first to approach Scarlett. He carried soil and a rock in one hand and placed them by her feet. Earth.

Fiona stepped forwards next, placing a small, freshly dug plant next to Donald’s offering. Air.

Judith was up next, laying down a lantern. The orange flame flickered in the glass. Fire.

Lastly, Bill laid a vase of liquid by Scarlett. Water.

Gulping, I held my lantern at arms length the same as everyone else and closed my eyes. I couldn’t watch.

“By the four elements we live. By the four elements, you shall ascend. By the four elements we shall live on, be reborn upon death so that we shall be joined in eternity,” Donald said.

“By the four elements we shall live on,” I said in tune with the rest of the community, a piece of me dying because, technically, I was still taking part in this.

TONIGHT WAS ALSO
the last time we’d eat together as a community before Scarlett was supposed to be sacrificed. There was a buzz in the air that was slightly infectious. Everyone was elated that we had finally reached the point we’d been striving for.

It felt a bit nostalgic to be living something we’d spoken about almost on a daily basis. But I now knew the dangerous truth behind Eternal Light’s teachings.

Under her perfected act, Scarlett looked rightfully terrified, and I had an even harder time tonight pretending that I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Things were about to get very real, and I still wasn’t convinced we’d be able to pull it off and get away. It
had
to work. If we didn’t get out, the girl I was in love with was going to die.

“Are you okay, Noah?” Mum asked, frowning, questioning why I didn’t have a big, fat smile on my face.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just can’t believe it’s finally here, you know?” Please know.

She smiled. “I do, I know exactly what you mean. But it is here so please try to enjoy it.”

Damn. “I am, Mum. I’m just taking everything in. This is the night you’ve been talking about since I was little, you told me to step back and take everything in because it’ll go by in a flash. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I remember that. I am so proud of you, Noah. You really have grown into a wonderful man.” She kissed me on the cheek and then looked around, sighing in content.

I wasn’t a wonderful man, but I hoped tomorrow might correct that, even a little. I was going to do the right thing. It was the right thing by Scarlett, myself, and Eternal Light. Not only was I going to do everything I could to save her life but I was preventing us being murderers.

Scarlett stood with her parents as people came forward and kissed both of her cheeks. She played it so well. She was withdrawn enough to play the nervous card but smiled and interacted enough to make people believe she with us all the way. She wasn’t the only one that was nervous, we all were, but for different reasons.

I managed to get a minute with her out of earshot of everyone else when we both went back for more food. Donald watched us; I didn’t even need to look around to know that. I kept smiling.

“How are you feeling?” I asked. It was an innocent question and one that everyone had asked her, but I was referring to our escape, not the ritual.

She nodded, giving me a reserved smile. To everyone else, she’d not quite forgiven me yet and still acted cooler to me. She probably didn’t have to pretend that much.

“I’m okay,” she replied. “Nervous.”

“I think we all are a little. Don’t worry, though, tomorrow is going to run smoothly and then everything will be alright.”

Fear flashed through her eyes. “Yeah, everyone has been reassuring me all day.”

“They all love you and want you to feel at ease with what’s going to happen.”

I knew she was talking about the same thing I was, but hopefully everyone else thought it was about the ritual.
Please trust me, Scarlett.

“I know that. It’s been a huge change, and I’ve only just had time to stop and think about what’s coming. I’m a little scared.”