“I'm not sure.”
“We're old friends. Why can't we be again?”
“I was told in no uncertain terms to stay away from you.”
“By who?”
“Your sister.”
“Let me guessâ¦Rose?”
He nodded. “Although Colleen isn't crazy about the idea either.”
She shook her head. “It's such a waste, Seamus. I've wasted enough time. Losing my mother has made everything else seem trivial and petty.”
“You're right. Would you like a sandy peanut butter sandwich?”
“Yes, I would,” she laughed.
They spent the afternoon together not talking about anything important, just listening to the kids prattle on about silly things. They made a sand castle with them and Ava went up into the grass and found some daisies. She showed Sarah how to make a daisy chain and put a little crown of flowers on her mess of curls. Sarah walked around with her tummy sticking out, trying hard to keep it on her head. Her father laughed and laughed when he watched her. Ava felt good that she'd made him happy.
The sun was going down and the wind became still, the most beautiful time of day on the beach. Both the children were asleep on their towels and Ava knew they should go, but it was hard to part. It had been a lovely day.
“I've enjoyed this,” he said to her. “You have no idea.”
“Me too.”
“It must seem a little boring for you. I know you jet-set all over the world. I saw you at the Cannes Film Festival on TV once, and you were so glamorous, with all these beautiful people around you.”
“I always sound as if I don't appreciate the opportunities given to me, but a day posing for the cameras in a faraway exotic place doesn't hold a candle to a day like today.” She looked out over the water. “That day, I'd flown in from L.A. I was hot and tired and cranky. The only reason I wasn't completely nuts is because Maurice can fix my hair and makeup while I sleep in a chair. Harold picked my outfit and they dressed me like a mannequin. I couldn't eat anything or the dress wouldn't fit. I was paraded around on this dock with other celebrities, most of whom I didn't know. You kiss them and pretend you do. You smile as thousands of cameras flash at you and all you can hear is your name shouted from four hundred different directions and you're not sure where to look.”
“Sounds delightful.”
“Since I don't drink like a fish or smoke or do drugs, I'm not much fun at a party, so I usually skip those to play monopoly with Lola and Maurice and Harold.”
He smiled.
“Then on my way down to breakfast the next morning, I found myself in an elevator with a very famous actor who pushed the stop button. He thought he'd feel me up and expected me to be grateful for the opportunity.”
“Are you serious? What did you do?”
“I kneed him in the nuts, pushed the button, and continued down to breakfast.”
“Atta girl,” he laughed.
She gave a great sigh. “I've missed this island. I've missed it with every fibre of my being. The land, the water, the sky, all of it. Whenever I get lonely in some strange part of the world, I picture it in my mind and feel better.”
“Do you get lonely, Libby?”
She looked at him. “Very.”
“Me too.”
He reached out and held her hand. They sat like that for a long time. Eventually she said, “We better go. You don't want the kids to get a chill.”
Ava helped him carry them up to the car. She took Sarah's sweet little body and held it close. Sarah nestled into her neck. As she waited for Seamus to put Jack in his car seat, she swayed slightly back and forth with Sarah in her arms. She closed her eyes and kissed those messy curls.
When Ava opened her eyes, Seamus was watching her hold his daughter.
“Sorry, I just wanted to hold her for a minute.”
“You're beautiful, Libby.”
She closed her eyes again. She couldn't look at him. “Take her.”
He lifted Sarah out of her arms. She turned around and went back to the beach to collect their things, but it was really to keep him from looking at her anymore. Picking up their belongings gave her a moment to gather her wits. She crossed the beach and walked back to his car, quickly passing over the children's toys. “I think I have everything.”
“Thank you for today,” he said.
“You're welcome. Thank you for sharing your children with me. They're delightful company.”
“As are you.”
“Goodbye Seamus.” She turned to go.
“Libby.”
She looked back.
“Can you meet me here tomorrow?”
She nodded and ran to her car.
He was on vacation that week and the next, so they spent every day at the beach. She'd often bring Teddy Bear tooâthe kids loved him. It was as if they needed the kids and the dog there, so they wouldn't be tempted to repeat what happened the last time they were alone. And Ava was grateful for it, because as much as they liked to think they knew each other; they had a lot to catch up on. Their days were filled with stories of friends and adventures they'd had.
One rainy day, they decided to be bold and go to town. The kids wanted ice cream so they headed for the Tasty Treat. They sat in the car and ate their waffle cones. Sarah was completely covered in sticky ice cream by the time she was through. Ava said she'd take her into the bathroom and tidy her up. She and Sarah ran through the rain to get the key for the outdoor facilities but they told her it was in use so they waited outside under the overhang. Seamus waved her to come back, but she shook her head. She and Sarah were having fun jumping in the puddles.
The door to the bathroom opened and out walked Colleen and Courtney. Sarah gave a delighted shout to her cousin. “Cory!”
Colleen looked at Ava and then at Sarah and then over her head to search for Seamus's car.
“Hello, Colleen.”
“What are you doing with Sarah?”
“I'm cleaning her up.”
“Is Seamus here?”
“Of course he's here. Do you think I kidnapped his daughter?”
She didn't say anything.
“May I have the key?”
Colleen passed it to her.
“We're having ice cream, Colleen.”
“Yes.”
They both saw Seamus start to get out of the car. “Wave to him and let him be. Please, I beg you.”
Colleen waved, then grabbed Courtney's hand and ran to the other side of the building, where her car was parked. Ava gave him a smile and a quick wave and took Sarah into the bathroom. When they were finished, they hurried back in the car.
“What did she say to you?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“She asked what we were doing here and I said we were having ice cream and she said, have fun.”
“She did?”
“Yeah.”
“That was nice.” Seamus smiled.
“Yes, it was.”
They bought a pizza and took it back to his place. They ate it while they played Go Fish with the kids. Jack got fed up with Sarah always saying “yeah,” when she didn't have anything, so he went off in a huff. He came back when they bribed him with a video. When both kids fell asleep on the couch halfway though the movie, Ava decided she'd better be going. Seamus got up with her and walked her to the door. She hurried out on the deck.
“It's been a nice day,” he said.
“It's been a lot of nice days. I've had such fun.”
He looked at her. “May I kiss you?”
She looked away.
“I promise I won't get carried away like the last time.”
She smiled. “Oh my, if it's going to be a boring, chaste kiss then I suppose I can risk it.”
He reached out and took her hand, pulling her close, raising her chin with the crook of his finger. He touched her lips softly with his own and then looked at her. “More?”
“A little more.”
He bent his head and parted his lips. She reached up and did the same. It was a nice, slow, deep kiss, as if they had all the time in the world.
And then Jack woke up. They heard him through the open window. “Daddy! I have a tummy ache.”
Seamus groaned and took her face in his hands. “Sorry.”
“Don't be.”
“Will you come to me soon?”
She hesitated.
“We don't have to do anything but this. Please let me do this.”
She nodded. He kissed her once more.
“Daddy!”
He dropped his hands and walked back in the house. Ava had to hold on to the railing to get down the stairs. Her heart pounded in her chest. She got in the car and laid her head back on the headrest. “Oh god, what am I going to do?”
Seamus was happier than he'd been in a long time. He whistled everywhere he went. Unfortunately his vacation was up and he couldn't spend every day with her anymoreâbut it didn't matter. He had enough memories of their two weeks together to keep him going for a while.
He was so shocked to see her on the beach that day he couldn't remember what he said at first. All he knew was that he couldn't stop looking at her. When she sat beside him and shared their sandwiches, his eyes lingered over her collarbones. She had beautiful shoulders and the small hollow in front of her neck was vulnerable and delicate. He was dying to put his mouth on it and kiss his way up under her chin.
It took a lot of concentration not to spend the entire time fantasizing about the feel of her body under him. He had to shake his head sometimes and ask her to repeat what she said. She laughed at him, as if she knew what the trouble was. But the moment that got to him the most was when she held Sarah in her arms and rocked her gently back and forth. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against Sarah's curls and it seemed right. It was perfect. He never wanted it to end.
Their last night together before he went back to work, they took the kids to the drive-in. The kids loved it. Excited about being allowed out of their car seats, they stayed awake for almost two movies. They ate too much and bounced from the front to the back seat, until that novelty wore off. Finally, they curled up in awkward positions in the back seat and slept like babies.
“I suppose we should go,” Ava said.
“Not yet. It's our last night together.”
“I'm not going tomorrow.”
“I mean my vacation's over.”
“Oh.”
He hated to be reminded of her leaving. “When are you going again?”
“In about a week.”
“You have to go, I guess.”
“Yes,” she sighed. “I signed a contract.”
“Break it.”
She laughed at him. “Okay. Have you got about ten million dollars so I can get out of it?”
“Good lord.”
“It's a weird business.”
He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb against her palm. “I don't want to talk about it, anyway.”
“Neither do I.”
“What does this remind you of?”
“Right now?”
“Mmm.”
“The time we came here with a bunch of friends and you ended up locking everyone out of the car so you could neck with me.”
They laughed.
“I know. It was great. Don't think the others were too happy about it though.”
“Gee, Seamus, I wonder why. They had to sit in other people's cars and I'm sure the couples in those cars were happy to see them.”
“I know. It was rotten. Fun, though.”
“Do you remember what you said to me that night?”
“Did I talk?”
“Moaned mostly, but when you did come up for air you told me that you wished we could run away together. Just take the car and drive.”
He bowed his head and kept rubbing her hand. “Why don't we?” “What?”
“Take the kids and get the hell out of here, away from prying, judgmental relatives and nosy friends and neighbours. Just you, me and the kids.”
“You couldn't take them away from Sally's parents, or your sister, for that matter.”
Seamus stopped holding her hand and grabbed the steering wheel with both of his. He laid his forehead against them. “I know, I know. But my whole life I've done what was best for other people. When am I going to be happy?”
“You were happy with Sally, weren't you?”
He kept his head down but he turned his face to her and whispered, “I loved Sally. I always will. But I'm in love with you and that will never change for as long as I'm alive.”
“Oh, Seamus.”
“Don't talk, Libby. I don't want to talk.”
She slid over beside him and she let him kiss her for a long time. He kissed her throat and ears and the spot on her neck he was dying to taste, before he got up the courage to put his hand under her sweater and hold her waist. He touched her ribs. She didn't pull away when his hand traveled upward and cupped her breast. She kept kissing him so he reached under her bra and held her breast against the palm of his hand. A shiver went through his body.
She whispered against his lips, “The children.”
He took his hand away and the lovely sensation of her warm skin was lost. She went back to sit closer to the car window. The car was fogged up.
“We're like two teenagers again,” she smiled.
He didn't answer her.
“What's wrong?”
“I don't know how much more I can take.”
Now it was her turn not to say anything.
He got up the courage to look at her. “I ache for you. My whole body aches for you. You can't let me kiss you and then pull away.”
She sounded annoyed with him. “You want to make love to me in front of your babies?”
“Of course not. Stay with me tonight.”
“I can't.”
“Why not?”
“Seamus, don't ruin this. Please. I couldn't stand it if you were mad at me.”
“I'm not mad at you. I'm⦔
“â¦mad at me.”
That made him laugh. “Okay. I'm mad at you.”