As You Like It (6 page)

CELIA
    Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

ORLANDO
    I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,

His youngest son, and would not change that
calling
²⁰⁶

To be adopted heir to Frederick.

ROSALIND
    My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,

And all the world was of my father’s mind:

Had I before known this young man his son,

I should have given him tears
unto
²¹¹
entreaties,

Ere
²¹²
he should thus have ventured.

CELIA
    Gentle cousin,

Let us go thank him and encourage him.

My father’s rough and
envious
²¹⁵
disposition

Sticks
²¹⁶
me at heart.— Sir, you have well deserved,

If you do keep your promises in love

But
justly
, as you have exceeded all
promise
²¹⁸
,

Your
mistress
²¹⁹
shall be happy.

ROSALIND
    Gentleman,

Wear this for me, one out of
suits
²²¹
with fortune,

That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

To Celia

Shall we go, coz?

CELIA
    Ay.— Fare you well, fair gentleman.

ORLANDO
    Can I not say, I thank you? My better
parts
²²⁵

Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up

Is but a
quintain
²²⁷
, a mere lifeless block.

ROSALIND
    He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.

I’ll ask him what he
would
²²⁹
.— Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown

More than your enemies.

CELIA
    Will you go, coz?

ROSALIND
    
Have with you
²³³
. Fare you well.

ORLANDO
    What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?

I cannot speak to her, yet she urged
conference
²³⁵
.

O poor Orlando, thou art overthrown!

Or
²³⁷
Charles or something weaker masters thee.

LE BEAU
    Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you

To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved

High commendation, true applause and love,

Yet such is now the duke’s
condition
²⁴¹

That he misconstrues all that you have done.

The duke is
humorous
: what he is
indeed
²⁴³

More suits you to
conceive
²⁴⁴
than I to speak of.

ORLANDO
    I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this:

Which of the two was daughter of the duke

That here was at the wrestling?

LE BEAU
    Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,

But yet indeed the
taller
²⁴⁹
is his daughter,

The other is daughter to the banished duke,

And here detained by her usurping uncle

To keep his daughter company, whose loves

Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.

But I can tell you that of late this duke

Hath ta’en displeasure ’gainst his
gentle
²⁵⁵
niece,

Grounded upon no other
argument
²⁵⁶

But that the people praise her for her virtues

And pity her for her good father’s sake;

And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady

Will
suddenly
²⁶⁰
break forth. Sir, fare you well.

Hereafter, in a better world than this,

I shall desire more love and
knowledge
²⁶²
of you.

ORLANDO
    I
rest
much
bounden
²⁶³
to you. Fare you well.

Thus must I
from the smoke into the
smother
²⁶⁴
,

From tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.

But heavenly Rosalind!

CELIA
    Why, cousin? Why, Rosalind?
Cupid
¹
have mercy, not

a word?

ROSALIND
    Not one to throw at a dog.

CELIA
    No, thy words are too precious to be cast away upon

curs
⁵
, throw some of them at me; come, lame me with

reasons
⁶
.

ROSALIND
    
Then there were
⁷
two cousins laid up, when the one

should be lamed with reasons and the other mad without

any.

CELIA
    But is all this for your father?

ROSALIND
    No, some of it is for my
child’s father
¹¹
. O, how full of

briars
is this
working-day
¹²
world!

CELIA
    They are but
burs
¹³
, cousin, thrown upon thee in

holiday foolery: if we walk not in the trodden paths our very

petticoats
¹⁵
will catch them.

ROSALIND
    I could shake them off my
coat
¹⁶
: these burs are in my

heart.

CELIA
    
Hem
¹⁸
them away.

ROSALIND
    I would try, if I could cry
‘hem’
and
have
¹⁹
him.

CELIA
    Come, come,
wrestle
²⁰
with thy affections.

ROSALIND
    O, they
take the part of
²¹
a better wrestler than myself!

CELIA
    O,
a good wish upon you!
You will
try
²²
in time, in

despite of a
fall
. But
turning these jests out of service
²³
, let us

talk in good earnest: is it possible, on such a sudden, you

should fall into so strong a liking with old Sir Rowland’s

youngest son?

ROSALIND
    The duke my father loved his father dearly.

CELIA
    Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son

dearly
? By this kind of
chase
²⁹
, I should hate him, for my

father hated his father dearly; yet I hate not Orlando.

ROSALIND
    No, faith, hate him not, for my sake.

CELIA
    
Why should I not?
³²
Doth he not deserve well?

ROSALIND
    Let me love him for that, and do you love him

because I do. Look, here comes the duke.

CELIA
    With his eyes full of anger.

DUKE FREDERICK
    Mistress, dispatch you with
your safest haste
³⁶

And get you from our court.

ROSALIND
    Me, uncle?

DUKE FREDERICK
    You, cousin

Within these ten days if that thou be’st found

So near our public court as twenty miles,

Thou diest for it.

ROSALIND
    I do beseech your grace,

Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me:

If with myself I hold
intelligence
⁴⁵

Or have acquaintance with mine own desires,

If that I do not dream or be not
frantic
⁴⁷
—

As I do trust I am not — then,
dear
⁴⁸
uncle,

Never so much as in a thought unborn

Did I offend your highness.

DUKE FREDERICK
    Thus do all traitors.

If their
purgation
⁵²
did consist in words,

They are as innocent as
grace
⁵³
itself;

Let it suffice thee that I trust thee not.

ROSALIND
    Yet your mistrust cannot make me a traitor;

Tell me
whereon
⁵⁶
the likelihood depends.

DUKE FREDERICK
    Thou art thy father’s daughter, there’s enough.

ROSALIND
    So was I when your highness took his dukedom,

So was I when your highness banished him;

Treason is not inherited, my lord,

Or if we did derive it from our
friends
⁶¹
,

What’s that to me? My father was no traitor.

Then, good my liege, mistake me not so much

To think my poverty is treacherous.

CELIA
    Dear sovereign, hear me speak.

DUKE FREDERICK
    Ay, Celia, we
stayed
⁶⁶
her for your sake,

Else
had she with her father
ranged
⁶⁷
along.

CELIA
    I did not then entreat to have her stay,

It was your
pleasure
and your own
remorse
⁶⁹
.

I was too
young
⁷⁰
that time to value her,

But now I know her: if she be a traitor,

Why so am I. We
still
⁷²
have slept together,

Rose at
an instant
, learned, played,
eat
⁷³
together,

And wheresoe’er we went,
like Juno’s swans
⁷⁴
,

Still we went coupled and inseparable.

DUKE FREDERICK
    She is too
subtle
for thee, and her
smoothness
⁷⁶
,

Her very silence and her patience

Speak to the people, and they pity her.

Thou art a fool: she robs thee of thy
name
⁷⁹
,

And thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous

When she is gone. Then open not thy lips.

Firm and irrevocable is my
doom
⁸²

Which I have passed upon her: she is banished.

CELIA
    Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:

I cannot live out of her company.

DUKE FREDERICK
    You are a fool. You, niece,
provide
⁸⁶
yourself:

If you outstay the time, upon mine honour,

And in the
greatness
⁸⁸
of my word, you die.

CELIA
    O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?

Wilt thou
change
⁹⁰
fathers? I will give thee mine.

I charge thee be not thou more grieved than I am.

ROSALIND
    I have more cause.

CELIA
    Thou hast not, cousin.

Prithee be cheerful; know’st thou not the duke

Hath banished me, his daughter?

ROSALIND
    That he hath not.

CELIA
    No, hath not? Rosalind lacks then the love

Which teacheth thee that thou and I am one.

Shall we be
sundered
⁹⁹
? Shall we part, sweet girl?

No, let my father seek another heir:

Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

Whither to go and what to bear with us.

And do not seek to take your
change
¹⁰³
upon you,

To bear your griefs yourself and leave me out,

For, by this heaven, now
at our sorrows pale
¹⁰⁵
,

Say what thou canst, I’ll go along with thee.

ROSALIND
    Why, whither shall we go?

CELIA
    To seek my uncle in the Forest of Arden.

ROSALIND
    Alas, what danger will it be to us,

Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

CELIA
    I’ll put myself in poor and
mean
¹¹²
attire

And with a kind of
umber
¹¹³
smirch my face.

The like do you. So shall we pass along

And never stir assailants.

ROSALIND
    Were it not better,

Because that I am more than common tall,

That I did
suit me all points
¹¹⁸
like a man?

A
gallant curtle-axe
¹¹⁹
upon my thigh,

A
boar-spear
¹²⁰
in my hand, and — in my heart

Lie there what hidden woman’s fear there will —

We’ll have a
swashing
¹²²
and a martial outside,

As many other mannish cowards have

That do
outface it with their semblances
¹²⁴
.

CELIA
    What shall I call thee when thou art a man?

ROSALIND
    I’ll have no worse a name than
Jove’s
¹²⁶
own page,

And therefore look you call me
Ganymede
¹²⁷
.

But what will you be called?

CELIA
    Something that hath a reference to my
state
¹²⁹
:

No longer Celia, but
Aliena
¹³⁰
.

ROSALIND
    But, cousin, what if we
assayed
¹³¹
to steal

The clownish fool out of your father’s court?

Would he not be a comfort to our
travel
¹³³
?

CELIA
    He’ll go along o’er the wide world with me.

Leave me alone
to
woo
¹³⁵
him. Let’s away,

And get our jewels and our wealth together,

Devise the fittest time and safest way

To hide us from pursuit that will be made

After my flight. Now go in we
content
¹³⁹

To liberty and not to banishment.