As You Like It (10 page)

ROSALIND
    ‘From the east to western
Ind
⁷⁷
,

     No jewel is like Rosalind.

     Her worth, being mounted on the wind,

     Through all the world bears Rosalind.

     All the pictures fairest
lined
⁸¹

     Are but
black to
⁸²
Rosalind.

     Let no face be kept in mind

     But the
fair
⁸⁴
of Rosalind.’

TOUCHSTONE
    I’ll rhyme you so eight years
together
⁸⁵
, dinners and

suppers and sleeping-hours excepted.
It is the right
butter-
⁸⁶

women’s
rank
⁸⁷
to market
.

ROSALIND
    Out, fool!

TOUCHSTONE
    For a taste:

     If a
hart
do lack a
hind
⁹⁰
,

     Let him seek out Rosalind.

     If the cat will
after kind
⁹²
,

     So be sure will Rosalind.

     
Wintered
garments must be
lined
⁹⁴
,

     So must slender Rosalind.

     They that
reap
must
sheaf and bind
⁹⁶
,

     Then to
cart
⁹⁷
with Rosalind.

     Sweetest
nut
⁹⁸
hath sourest rind,

     Such a nut is Rosalind.

     He that sweetest
rose
¹⁰⁰
will find

     Must find love’s
prick
¹⁰¹
and Rosalind.

This is the very
false gallop
¹⁰²
of verses. Why do you infect

yourself with them?

ROSALIND
    Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree.

TOUCHSTONE
    Truly the tree yields bad
fruit
¹⁰⁵
.

ROSALIND
    I’ll
graff
¹⁰⁶
it with you, and then I shall graff it with a

medlar
¹⁰⁷
. Then it will be the earliest fruit i’th’country, for

you’ll be
rotten
ere you be half ripe, and that’s the
right
¹⁰⁸

virtue
of the medlar.

TOUCHSTONE
    You have said, but whether wisely or no, let the

forest judge.

ROSALIND
    Peace! Here comes my sister, reading. Stand aside.

CELIA
    ‘Why should this a desert be?

     
For
¹¹⁴
it is unpeopled? No.

     Tongues I’ll hang on every tree

     That shall
civil sayings
¹¹⁶
show.

     Some, how brief the life of man

     Runs
his erring
¹¹⁸
pilgrimage,

     That the stretching of a
span
¹¹⁹

     
Buckles in
¹²⁰
his sum of age.

     Some, of violated vows

     ’Twixt the souls of friend and friend:

     But upon the fairest boughs,

     Or at every sentence end,

     Will I Rosalinda write,

     Teaching all that read to know

     The
quintessence
of every
sprite
¹²⁷

     Heaven would
in little
¹²⁸
show.

     Therefore heaven
Nature charged
¹²⁹

     That one body should be filled

     With all graces
wide-enlarged
¹³¹
.

     Nature
presently
¹³²
distilled

     
Helen’s cheek, but not her heart
¹³³
,

     
Cleopatra’s
¹³⁴
majesty,

     
Atalanta’s better part
¹³⁵
,

     Sad
Lucretia’s modesty
¹³⁶
.

     Thus Rosalind of many parts

     By heavenly
synod
¹³⁸
was devised,

     Of many faces, eyes and hearts,

     To have the
touches
¹⁴⁰
dearest prized.

     Heaven
would
¹⁴¹
that she these gifts should have,

     And
I to
¹⁴²
live and die her slave.’

ROSALIND
    O most gentle
Jupiter
¹⁴³
! What tedious

homily of love have you wearied your parishioners withal,

and never cried ‘Have patience, good people!’

CELIA
    How now?
Back
¹⁴⁶
, friends. Shepherd, go off a little.—

Go with him,
sirrah
¹⁴⁷
.

TOUCHSTONE
    Come, shepherd, let us make an honourable

retreat, though not with
bag and baggage
, yet with
scrip and
¹⁴⁹
scrippage.

CELIA
    Didst thou hear these verses?

ROSALIND
    O, yes, I heard them all, and more too, for some of

them had in them more
feet
¹⁵³
than the verses would bear.

CELIA
    That’s no matter: the feet might bear the verses.

ROSALIND
    Ay, but the feet were lame and could not bear

themselves without the verse, and therefore stood lamely in

the verse.

CELIA
    But didst thou hear without wondering how thy

name should be hanged and carved upon these trees?

ROSALIND
    I was
seven of the nine days out of the wonder
¹⁶⁰

before you came, for look here what I found on a palm-tree. I

was never so berhymed since
Pythagoras
’ time
that
¹⁶²
I was an

Irish rat
¹⁶³
, which I can hardly remember.

CELIA
    
Trow
¹⁶⁴
you who hath done this?

ROSALIND
    Is it a man?

CELIA
    
And a chain
¹⁶⁶
, that you once wore, about his neck.

Change you colour?
¹⁶⁷

ROSALIND
    I prithee who?

CELIA
    O lord, lord! It is a hard matter for
friends
to meet
¹⁶⁹
;

but mountains may be removed with earthquakes and so

encounter.
¹⁶⁹

ROSALIND
    Nay, but who is it?

CELIA
    Is it
possible
¹⁷³
?

ROSALIND
    Nay,
I prithee now with most petitionary vehemence
¹⁷⁴
,

tell me who it is.

CELIA
    O
wonderful
¹⁷⁶
, wonderful, and most wonderful

wonderful! And yet again wonderful, and after that,
out of
¹⁷⁷

all whooping
!

ROSALIND
    
Good my complexion!
¹⁷⁹
Dost thou think, though I am

caparisoned
¹⁸⁰
like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my

disposition? One inch of delay more is a
South Sea of
¹⁸¹

discovery
. I prithee tell me who is it quickly, and speak
apace
¹⁸²
.

I would thou couldst stammer, that thou mightst pour this

concealed man out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a

narrow-mouthed bottle, either too much at once, or none at

all. I prithee take the cork out of thy mouth that I may drink

thy tidings.

CELIA
    So you may put a man in your
belly
¹⁸⁸
.

ROSALIND
    Is he
of God’s making
¹⁸⁹
? What manner of man? Is his

head worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard?

CELIA
    Nay, he hath but a little beard.

ROSALIND
    Why, God will send more, if the man will be

thankful: let me
stay
¹⁹³
the growth of his beard, if thou delay

me not the knowledge of his chin.

CELIA
    It is young Orlando that tripped up the wrestler’s

heels and your heart both in an instant.

ROSALIND
    Nay, but the devil take mocking: speak,
sad brow
¹⁹⁷

and true maid
.

CELIA
    I’faith, coz, ’tis he.

ROSALIND
    Orlando?

CELIA
    Orlando.

ROSALIND
    Alas the day! What shall I do with my doublet and

hose? What did he when thou saw’st him? What said he?

How looked he?
Wherein went he?
What
makes he
²⁰⁴
here? Did

he ask for me? Where remains he? How parted he with thee?

And when shalt thou see him again? Answer me in one

word.

CELIA
    You must borrow me
Gargantua’s
²⁰⁸
mouth first: ’tis a

word too great for any mouth of this age’s size. To say ay and

no to these
particulars
is more than to answer in a
catechism
²¹⁰
.

ROSALIND
    But doth he know that I am in this forest and in

man’s apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he

wrestled?

CELIA
    It is as easy to count
atomies
as to
resolve the
²¹⁴

propositions
of a lover, but take a taste of my finding him,

and
relish
it with
good observance
²¹⁶
. I found him under a tree,

like a dropped acorn.

ROSALIND
    It may well be called
Jove’s tree
²¹⁸
, when it drops forth

such fruit.

CELIA
    
Give me audience
²²⁰
, good madam.

ROSALIND
    Proceed.

CELIA
    There lay he, stretched
along
²²²
, like a wounded knight.

ROSALIND
    Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well becomes

the ground.

CELIA
    Cry
‘holla’
to the tongue, I prithee. It
curvets
²²⁵

unseasonably. He was
furnished
²²⁶
like a hunter.

ROSALIND
    O, ominous! He comes to kill my
heart
²²⁷
.

CELIA
    I would sing my song without a
burden
²²⁸
. Thou

bringest me out of tune.

ROSALIND
    Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I

must speak. Sweet, say on.

CELIA
    You
bring me out
.
Soft!
²³²
Comes he not here?

ROSALIND
    ’Tis he. Slink by, and note him.

JAQUES
    I thank you for your company, but, good

faith, I had as
lief
²³⁵
have been myself alone.

ORLANDO
    And so had I, but yet, for fashion sake, I thank you

too for your
society
²³⁷
.

JAQUES
    God buy you. Let’s meet as little as we can.

ORLANDO
    I do desire we may be better strangers.

JAQUES
    I pray you mar no more trees with writing love-

songs in their barks.

ORLANDO
    I pray you mar no more of my verses with reading

them
ill-favouredly
²⁴³
.

JAQUES
    Rosalind is your love’s name?

ORLANDO
    Yes,
just
²⁴⁵
.

JAQUES
    I do not like her name.

ORLANDO
    There was no thought of pleasing you when she

was christened.

JAQUES
    What stature is she of?

ORLANDO
    Just as high as my heart.

JAQUES
    You are full of
pretty
²⁵¹
answers. Have you not been

acquainted
with goldsmiths’ wives, and
conned
²⁵²
them out of

rings
²⁵³
?

ORLANDO
    Not so, but I answer you
right painted cloth
²⁵⁴
, from

whence you have studied your
questions
²⁵⁵
.

JAQUES
    You have a nimble wit; I think ’twas made of

Atalanta’s
²⁵⁷
heels. Will you sit down with me? And we two will

rail against our mistress the world and all our misery.

ORLANDO
    I will chide no
breather
²⁵⁹
in the world but myself,

against whom I know most faults.

JAQUES
    The worst fault you have is to be in love.

ORLANDO
    ’Tis a fault I will not
change
²⁶²
for your best virtue. I

am weary of you.

JAQUES
    By my
troth
²⁶⁴
, I was seeking for a fool when I found

you.

ORLANDO
    He is drowned in the brook. Look but in, and you

shall see him.

JAQUES
    There I shall see mine own
figure
²⁶⁸
.

ORLANDO
    Which I take to be either a fool or a
cipher
²⁶⁹
.

JAQUES
    I’ll tarry no longer with you. Farewell, good Signior

Love.

ORLANDO
    I am glad of your departure. Adieu, good Monsieur

Melancholy.