Amaryllis (Suitors of Seattle) (2 page)

“You’re wrong about that, Miss Sullivan.  You use your voice just perfectly.  Some people try to change their voice for every character when they read, and it makes a person tired just listening to it.  Not you, though.  You do a great job with it.”

“It’s funny how sometimes we can perceive that we’re not good at something, and someone else will think it’s something we excel at.  I won’t start singing, though.  I
know
I don’t excel at that.”

He laughed.  “Then I’ll spare you from my singing as well.  Even my mother would give me pennies to keep me from singing.  I learned early on that the best way to make money was to sing around the house.”

Amaryllis grinned.  “Yes, I think I could give the kind of concert where people would pay me a great deal of money not to sing.  Maybe I should lock the doors to the concert hall first, though…from the outside.”

“We could take our act on stage togeth
er.  We’d become rich quickly.  I can just see it now:  ‘Come pay us not to sing to you!’”

They were both laughing as they pulled up to the restaurant
, and he held his hand up to help her down.  “I’m glad we’re doing this,” she told him honestly.  She hadn’t been sure if she wanted to spend time with the man, but now they’d been together for a few minutes, she knew she’d made a good choice.

They chatted amiably throughout the meal about different books they’d read and the book he was writing about the city.  “I really want to have something set when the first settlers were coming to the area, and how they had to fight the local savages.”

Amaryllis made a face but didn’t say anything.  She had a few friends in the local tribe, and she thought they were just like everyone else, except that their land had been taken from them and they were being forced to give up their way of life. After a moment, she couldn’t help herself.  She had to tell him her thoughts.  “I hope you make it fair to both sides of the issue.”

He shrugged.  “Only white men will be reading it, so why would I bother being fair to the Indian?”

“Because you could color white man’s opinion of Indians.  Why would you increase the hate people feel for them?  Isn’t there already enough of that?”

He leaned back in his chair and studied her.  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am.  I think you need to interview some of the local Indians and put their side of the story into the book as well.”  She leaned forward in her chair earnestly, trying to make him understand her point of view.  “If we can all learn to see things from both sides, maybe war will be a thing of the past.  I don’t know why we can’t all share this land.  They were here first.”

He laughed.  “So you’d give up your comfortable home and all your books for them?”

“Why do I have to?” she argued.  “We should all be able to co-exist in peace.”

He shook his head.  “I’ll make you a deal.  If you can find two Indians to come and tell me their point of view, I’ll interview them, and if what they say makes sense, I’ll put it in my book.”

Amaryllis smiled, pleased that he wasn’t just discounting her.  So many men ignored her when she made a good point, because she was just a woman and incapable, in their minds, of thinking things out logically.  “Thank you.”

On the drive back to her house, she thought about how much she’d enjoyed the evening with Lawrence.  He’d been a good companion to her
, and their talk had kept her entertained.  He seemed to be a good man, if you didn’t think too hard about how he felt about the Indians.

When they reached her house, he jumped down from the buggy and walked around it, helping her down and walking her to the door.  “I had a wonderful time tonight.  Thank you for accompanying me.”

She smiled up at him.  “I enjoyed myself.”

“Would you be willing to do it again sometime?” he asked.

She nodded.  “I would.”

“I’ll see you at the library soon, I’m sure.”  He waited until she was in the house before turning and walking back to the buggy

Amaryllis removed her hat and walked up the stairs slowly.  He was a good man, but she felt nothing for him.  Not like she had for Alex.  He wasn’t asking for more than friendship at this point, though, so she would spend time with him for now.  Maybe feelings would grow later?  She’d read that love doesn’t always hit you like a ton of bricks.  Sometimes it came on slowly.  Maybe she would eventually find love with Lawrence. 

*****

Alex clenched the flowers he’d brought with him in his hand.  He’d studied night and day for the past years so he could be with Amaryllis.  And what happens when he arrives home and goes to see her before he even sees his own parents?  She’s returning from an outing with another man. 

He bowed his head in defeat.  She’d obviously moved on.  When he’d gotten her letter, he’d been almost relieved, because it meant that she wasn’t giving up on him, but he was free to devote all his time to his studies and not write to her so often.  He’d never imagined she’d have moved on.  The love he felt for her was one he’d never get over.  So how could she have
replaced him so easily?

*****

Amaryllis finished shelving the huge stack of books on her desk and sat down to eat her lunch.  The library was empty for the first time in days.  She pulled her sandwich out, and took a sip of the water she had sitting next to her.  Lawrence had been in the library every day for a week, and though she liked him, she was pleased he was finally out interviewing some of the local Indians.  She really wanted their story to be told.

She picked up the novel she’d been reading and propped it in front of her as she took a huge bite from her apple, a bit of juice trickling down her chin.  The
jangle of the bell at the door had her wiping her chin and putting her apple down, before turning to smile at the patron.  Her smile quickly faded.

“Hello, Alex.”
  Amaryllis was surprised at how calm and even her voice sounded, when inside she was screaming with pain.

Alex came to a stop in front of her desk, his eyes traveling over her.  “I’ve missed you.”
  His brown eyes were as intense as always, and her heart skipped a beat.

She faltered, surprised to hear his words.  “What are you doing back?  On a school break?”

“No, I hurried and finished early so I could come home.”
 
He looked at her behind the desk, out of reach.  “So we could marry.”

Amaryllis blinked a few times in surprise.  “I’m sorry.  I’m seeing someone else now.”  She deliberately let him believe that she was more interested in Lawrence than she really was.  Truthfully, her relationship with Lawrence was built on friendship and nothing more.  She couldn’t handle the heartache that came with Alex again, though. 

She took her seat and picked up her book, effectively dismissing him.  She could feel him standing there staring down at her for a full minute, before he left the library. 

As soon as he’d gone, she rested her head on her desk, and the tears fell. 
What happened to Sarah?  Was she not good enough for him either? Whatever happens, I can’t go back to Alex.  He’ll just break my heart again.

Chapter Two

Alex stared down at Amaryllis, wondering why she was so angry with him.  He’d done nothing to incur her wrath.  He’d written to her every week until she’d told him to stop, and he’d been a good beau to her, even after her parents had forbidden them from seeing one another. 

Finally, he left the library.  He walked through the streets until he got to the small building he’d rented for his office.  It wasn’t much, but he didn’t have much money starting out.  He had a desk set up in the front room, and a bed in the back.   There was a stove he could cook on in the bedroom,
along with a small table and two chairs, but there was little else.  Honestly, he didn’t need much more than that. 

Who is the man she’s seeing?  And why does she hate me? 
He unpacked a few law books to put on the small shelf while he contemplated.  What could have happened?

After a moment, he decided who would have the answers.  He’d go see Rose, Amaryllis’s older sister whom he’d gone to school with.  She’d tell him what he needed to know.
  At least he hoped she would.  They’d always been cordial, and Rose had helped them when they’d first started their relationship.

He put the last of the books on the shelf and looked at it with pride. 
It looked perfect.  He’d be ready to open his practice in a day or two.  There was only one lawyer in Seattle, and he didn’t take on clients without a lot of money.  Alex had become a lawyer for the sole purpose of helping women who had been abused.  He had grown up in an abusive household and would never be able to turn a blind eye to a woman being hurt again.

He made the walk to Rose’s house in five minutes.  Knocking on her door, he stood back and waited.  The maid who opened the door for him smiled.  “Mr. Alex!  Welcome home.  I’ll just get Rose.”

She led him to the small parlor that Rose favored, and he sat on the sofa, waiting for her to join him.  The room hadn’t changed much, which surprised Alex.  Rose was the type of girl to change furnishings every year or so, just because she could.

Rose came into the room with a baby on her hip.  The look on her face let him know that he was no longer welcome.  He got to his feet, surprised by the cold look on her face.  “Rose.”

She nodded, but didn’t sit.  “Alex.  How can I help you?”  She obviously was in a hurry to get rid of him.

“You can start by telling me what on earth is going on!  The last time I saw Amaryllis, we promised we would wait for each other.  When I got my law degree, I was going to come back to town
, and we were going to marry.  Two months later, I got a letter from her saying she was too young to commit to someone.  That was fine.  I hurried and finished school, taking more classes than they honestly should have allowed me to take at a time, so I could come home early and marry her.”  He shook his head.  “I guess I still expected her to be waiting for me.”  He held his hands palm up, hoping she’d have an answer for him.

Rose raised an eyebrow.  “Nice story.”
  Her voice dripped with disdain. 

“Nice story?  What do you mean by that?”
  What was wrong with everyone?

“We know about Sarah.”

“Sarah?  What about Sarah?”  Sarah was an older woman that he’d done odd jobs for while he was at school.  She was the widow of an old university president, and by working for her, he’d been able to quit his job on the docks loading ships.  Sarah had made his life so much better, just by giving him work that didn’t force him into a dangerous place or make him go too far off campus.  The work was hard, but it had been a joy to help her.

“You were courting her while you were at school!” Rose’s eyes were filled with anger.  “I can’t believe you asked me to help you with Amaryllis when you were just going to throw her over.”
 

“Throw her over?  No!”  Alex shook his head in disbelief.  “Does Amaryllis think that I was courting Sarah?”  How had things gotten so confusing?  He’d written to his mother about helping Sarah.  How had helping an elderly woman been translated to courting another girl?

“Everyone knows you were courting Sarah.”  Rose jiggled the baby on her hip.  “You’re not welcome here anymore, Alex.”  She turned to leave the room.

“Rose, wait!  Sarah was an older woman that needed me to help her with some things.  She gave me odd jobs so I wouldn’t have to keep working at the docks to pay my tuition.  Sarah was an amazing woman, but she was eighty years old, and I thought of her as a grandmother.”
  His voice all but pled with her to believe him.

Rose turned and looked at him.  “That’s not what your mother said.” 

“My mother told everyone I was courting Sarah?  Really?”  He shook his head.  “That doesn’t make any sense.  She knew better.”  His mother had loved Amaryllis and would have been happy for them to marry when Amaryllis was fifteen.

Rose frowned.  “She did?”

“She knew exactly who Sarah was.  She told Amaryllis all this?”  Alex couldn’t believe his mother would do that.

“I think Amaryllis overheard her telling Higgins…or something like that.”
  She scrunched up her face as if she were trying to remember the exact details.

Alex nodded.  “Well, I’ll just have to show her it wasn’t true.”  He sighed.  “I’ll convince her that I love her and only her.”
  Now that he knew what the problem was, he could certainly make a plan to fix it.  He wished she’d had faith in him, but he certainly understood.

Rose looked at him for a moment.  “It’s not going to be easy.”

“Would she be worth it if she were easy to get?”  He left Rose’s house with a new spring in his step.  He could make it work.  He knew he could.

*****

Amaryllis locked up the library and headed toward home.  She was going to dinner with Lawrence in a couple of hours, but she couldn’t get Alex off her mind.  Seeing him after so long had made her heart beat faster.  All of the old feelings had rushed inside her, and she’d thought her heart might break from loneliness.  She’d been surrounded by her family and friends her entire life, but only with Alex did she not feel completely overwhelmed with loneliness. 

She rounded a corner, and t
here he was, holding out a flower to her.  She pretended she didn’t see him and just walked around him.  She felt his breath on the back of her neck as she kept walking toward home, picking up her pace.  She felt his hand on her arm, and a slight push, and then next thing she knew, she was in an alley.

She turned to Alex and glared.  “I told you earlier, I’m seeing someone else.”
  How dare he accost her this way?

Alex didn’t say anything as he took the flower in his hand and tucked it behind her ear.  His eyes met hers and seemed to want to devour her.  He walked toward her, and she backed up slowly.  What was wrong with him?

Her back hit the wall of the building behind her, and he put a hand on either side of her face, his body pressed to hers.  “I’ve never loved another woman the way I love you, Rilly.”  His mouth pressed to hers, the kiss wilder and more passionate than any they had shared.  All of their other kisses had been kisses between virtual children.  This kiss made her feel like a woman in love.

She let out a small moan, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him closer.  She lost all ability to think as the sensations coursed through her body.  She parted her lips for his tongue, which swept into her mouth to mate with hers.  How had she gone more than two years without feeling him pressed to her this way?

Alex broke the kiss his forehead resting against hers.  “I need you, Rilly.  I need you in my life every day.  Please, be my wife.”  He didn’t know why he’d expected her to be waiting for him when he got home from school, but losing her was not in his plan for the future.  He didn’t care what it took.  Amaryllis would be his bride.

She stared up at him with wide eyes.  His kiss had brought all the old feelings rushing back stronger than ever before.  Her green eyes stared into his brown for a moment before she pushed at his chest.  “Don’t do this again, Alex.”  She turned and walked toward her house, still out of breath from the kiss.  She touched her swollen lips, hoping it wasn’t obvious that she’d been kissed so thoroughly.

What was Alex thinking?  Why would he accost me this way?  What about Sarah?  Has he given up on her?
She felt a pang as she thought about the woman he’d spent the last three years with. 
Did he kiss her the way he just kissed me?

She hurried up the stair
s rather than face any of her family.  Going into her bedroom, she peeked in the mirror and saw what she’d been afraid to see.  Her lips looked twice their usual size, and her hair was mussed.  The flower he’d tucked behind her ear was beautiful and she plucked it out of her hair, sniffing deeply.  She carefully placed it on her nightstand.  It was the last gift Alex would ever give her, and she would cherish it.

She changed for her outing with Lawrence, trying her best to force Alex from her mind.  Why was he pursuing her so relentlessly?  What was going through his mind?

By the time she was ready, she could hear the knock on the door.  Her sisters were getting used to seeing Lawrence around, but they never ceased to tease him when he came to get her.  Especially Jasmine.  What was wrong with Jasmine that she couldn’t just be polite?  She was sixteen now.  Surely she was starting to get interested in the opposite sex.

As she headed down the stairs, she passed her sister Daisy, the next flower after her.  Daisy smiled at her.  She was only shy when she was around someone other than family.  “Your new beau seems nice.”

Amaryllis shrugged.  “He is nice.”  Was he really a beau, though?  It didn’t feel like it to her.  They just talked and enjoyed each other’s company.

She rushed down the stairs and stopped to see Jasmine tormenting
Lawrence as usual.  “So, tell me, what’s it like to kiss my sister?  Do her spectacles get in the way?”

Amaryllis pushed Jasmine out of her way as she all but shoved Lawrence out of the house.  “I’m sorry about Jasmine.  She’s been taught manners, but for some reason, she thinks she’s above them.”

Lawrence laughed softly.  “I’m glad you rescued me there.  I’m not at all sure what I would have said to that.”  With a hand at the small of her back, he led her to the buggy and she climbed in.

“Where are we going?  Back to the restaurant?”

He nodded.  “It’s the best place to talk.”

Amaryllis didn’t mind, but she could think of places she’d rather go.  Alex had never taken her to the same place over and over.  He hadn’t been a creature of habit the way Lawrence was.

As they ate their dinner, Amaryllis watched his mouth.  Would she enjoy his kisses the way she’d enjoyed Alex’s?  She felt none of the spark from being around him that she did from being with Alex, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t enjoy his kisses, did it?

When they were finished, he drove toward her house.  “Oh, I forgot to ask.  How was your meeting with the Indians?”
she asked.  She’d been curious about how it would go, but she’d been so distracted by thinking about Alex all evening, she’d barely been present for him.

He looked over at her and smiled, passing her house.  “I thought we could take a drive.”

She nodded, not really caring what they did.  “Sounds fine.”  She enjoyed drives, and it wasn’t so late her parents would worry about her.

“Meeting with the Indians was interesting.  They certainly see the wars that have taken place between them and the white men differently than we do.”  He drove toward the edge of town.

“Of course, they do.  I actually find that I sympathize a great deal with the Indians.  I think they’ve been treated unfairly by white men who have taken over their territory.”  She hadn’t come right out and been blunt about her feelings before, because she hadn’t wanted him to brand her as an “Indian-sympathizer.”

He smiled.  “I knew you were one of those.”

She sighed, leaning back against the buckboard.  “I am one of those, and I’m rather proud of it.”  She was a little annoyed by his attitude, but as long as he would write his book fairly to the Indians, he could say what he liked.

He stopped the wagon and pulled to the side of the road.  “I understand their point of view better than I did before, and I’ll do my best to make it real in my story.  Is that fair?”
 

She nodded, wondering why he’d stopped the wagon.  “Aren’t you going to take me home?”  It wasn’t late, but it seemed strange to be parked on the side of the road this way.
  She turned to look at him, trying to figure out what he was doing.

He cupped her face with his hand
s, something he’d never done before.  “I wondered if you’d let me kiss you.”

Amaryllis nodded slowly, thinking of how Alex hadn’t asked.  He’d taken the kiss when he’d wanted it.  She’d always thought she’d prefer a man who would be gentle and considerate of how she was feeling, but suddenly, she wished Lawrence were more like Alex.

Lawrence lowered his head slowly, and his lips brushed against hers.  Amaryllis waited for the flood of emotions to rush through her body, making her want nothing more than to be close to him, but it never happened.  He kissed her, and it wasn’t unpleasant, but it certainly wasn’t something she wanted prolonged or repeated.