Really, it had been stupid to expect anything anyway. A few late nights does not a habit, or a relationship, make.
Just then, my phone rang, and I felt stupid by how quickly I jumped to answer it, thinking it might be Eli. Who, I realized a beat later, did not have my phone number. I flipped it open, only to see the number of another man who always seemed to keep me wondering: my brother.
‘Aud!’ he said as soon as I answered. ‘It’s me! Guess where I am?’
As we’d played this game before, and I’d always lost, I just said, ‘Tell me.’
‘Home!’
At first, I thought he’d said Rome. It wasn’t until I asked him to repeat himself, and he did, that I realized he was two hundred miles away instead of however many thousand.
‘Home?’ I said. ‘Since when?’
‘About two hours ago.’ He laughed. ‘I am jet-lagging like crazy, let me tell you. I have no freaking idea what time it is. Where are you?’
‘At a party,’ I said, standing up and walking to the front door, pushing it open.
‘A party? Really?’
He sounded so shocked I probably should have been offended. Then again, a few weeks earlier, I would have been surprised, too. ‘Yeah,’ I said, walking down to sit on the bottom step. ‘So… what brings you back?’
There was a pause. For dramatic purposes, as it turned out. ‘Not what,’ he said. ‘Who.’
‘Who?’
‘Aud.’ Another pause. Then, ‘I’m in love.’
As he said this, I was looking up at a streetlight, bright and buzzing overhead. A few bugs were circling it, tiny specks up high. ‘You are?’ I said.
‘Yeah.’ He laughed. ‘It’s crazy, I know. But I’m sick with it. So sick I cut the trip short and jumped a plane to follow her back here.’
The trip had been going on for a couple of years, which I wouldn’t exactly have called short. But with Hollis, it was always about the bigger picture. ‘So,’ I said, ‘who is she?’
‘Her name,’ he said, ‘is Laura. She’s amazing! I met her at a youth hostel in Seville. I was there for this big three-day festival-slash-rave…’
I rolled my eyes at no one, there in the dark.
‘… and she was there for some genetic conference. She’s a scientist, Aud! Doing grad work at the U, of all places. She was studying in the library where I was sleeping. Said my snoring was disturbing her research and I needed to get up and get out. Crazy, right? It’s the story we’ll tell our grandchildren!’
‘Hollis,’ I said, ‘you’re messing with me right now, aren’t you? You’re in Paris, or somewhere, and just –’
‘What?’ he replied. ‘No! God, no. This is the real deal. Here, I’ll prove it.’
There was a muffled noise, followed by some static. Then, I heard my mother recite, at a distance, in her most droll, flat tone, ‘Yes. It is true. Your brother is in love and in my kitchen.’
‘Hear that?’ Hollis asked, even as I sat there, startled at her voice. ‘It’s no joke!’
‘So…’ I said, still grappling, ‘how long are you home for, then?’
‘As long as Laura will have me. We’re looking for an apartment, and I’m going to sign up for fall classes. Might even hit up the English department, you never know.’ He laughed. ‘But seriously, before then I want to come down, visit you and Dad and Heidi and the munchkin, introduce my girl around. So let them know, okay?’
‘All right,’ I said slowly. ‘I’m glad you’re back, Hollis.’
‘Me, too. See you soon!’
I hung up, then looked out at the quiet street, the ocean somewhere in the dark beyond. It was so early and yet, between what I’d seen with Eli and my brother’s strange homecoming, I felt, for the first time in a long while, like all I wanted to do was go crawl into bed. Pull the covers over my head, finding my own dark, and wake up when this night was over.
Thinking this, I went inside to say my good-byes, but the living room was empty, stereo still playing, beer cans scattered – mostly uncoastered – across the coffee table. I picked up my purse, then walked through the kitchen to the back door. Through it, I could see everyone gathered on the back deck: Adam at the grill with Maggie beside him, Leah and Esther sitting side by side on the rail. Wallace was opening a can of baked beans while Jake looked on from a nearby rusted lawn chair.
‘You knew he probably wouldn’t show,’ he was saying to Adam, who was busy turning dogs over the flame. ‘He’s been antisocial ever since it happened.’
‘It’s been over a year now, though,’ Adam said. ‘He’s got to start hanging out again sometime.’
‘Maybe he is hanging out,’ Maggie said. ‘Just not with you.’
‘Meaning what?’ Wallace asked. I stepped back behind the open door, waiting for Maggie to respond, but she didn’t. ‘Belissa? I can assure you, that is
not
happening.’
‘No kidding. They’ve been broken up for months, idiot,’ Jake said.
‘Yeah, but she’s still been hung up on him,’ Wallace replied. ‘But then tonight, she came by the shop to tell him she’s got a new boyfriend. Some guy from the U, down for the summer working at the Cadillac tending bar. Said she wanted to tell him in person, so he didn’t find out from someone else.’
There was a short silence. Then Leah said, ‘And how do you know this, exactly?’
‘I might have been just inside the door, checking the air on the display bikes.’
Someone snorted. Adam said, ‘You are the worst gossip, Wallace. Worse than a girl.’
‘Hey!’ Esther said.
‘Sorry. Just an expression,’ Adam told her. ‘Seriously, though, Maggie might be right. Maybe he does have something going on, somewhere else. When I invited him tonight, he said he’d try to make it, but he already had plans with someone to run some errands.’
‘Errands?’ Leah said. ‘Who runs errands at night?’
‘It didn’t make sense to me either,’ Adam told her. ‘But that’s what he said.’
I looked around the kitchen, then walked over to a nearby drawer, pulling it open, then the one beneath it. In the third, I found what I was looking for: the Colby phone book. It was such a small town, only one Laundromat was listed.
‘The Washroom, Clyde speaking.’
I glanced outside again, then stepped closer to the fridge. ‘Hey, Clyde. It’s Auden. Is Eli there?’
‘You bet. Hang on.’
There was a bit of interference, and a short exchange, as the receiver was handed over. Then Eli said, ‘You are missing out on some
serious
apple crumble right now.’
‘I got dragged to a hot-dog party,’ I said.
A pause. ‘Really.’
‘Yeah.’ I turned around, shutting the phone book. ‘Apparently, they are a very important rite of passage. So I figured I should check it out, for my quest and all.’
‘Right,’ he said.
For a moment, neither of us said anything, and I realized that it was the first time in a long while that I’d felt nervous or uncomfortable around Eli. All those crazy nights, doing so many crazy things. And yet this, a simple phone conversation, was hard.
‘So let me guess,’ he said. ‘Right about now, Adam’s probably still cooking hot dogs, even though no one wants any more.’
I glanced outside. Sure enough, Adam was at the grill, opening up another pack. ‘Um,’ I said. ‘Yeah, actually.’
‘Leah and Esther are probably starting to argue about leaving.’
Another look proved that yes, they did look like they were having a somewhat spirited conversation. Leah, at least, was gesturing pretty widely. ‘They are. But how did you –’
‘And my brother,’ he continued, ‘having arrived talking big about throwing down and scoring with women, is most likely drunk and dozing off somewhere. Alone.’
I peeked back at Jake. His eyes were definitely closed. ‘You know,’ I said, ‘with all the time we spent together, you could have mentioned you were a psychic.’
‘I’m not,’ he said. ‘You need a ride?’
‘I do,’ I replied, without even hesitating.
‘Be there in ten.’
Seventeen minutes later, and I was out on the deck with everyone else, watching Leah and Maggie argue.
‘The deal was,’ Leah was saying, her voice slightly slurred, ‘that I would come as long as we could leave at some point and do something else.’
‘It’s past midnight!’ Maggie replied. ‘It’s too late to go anywhere.’
‘Which was exactly your plan. Get me here, get me drunk –’
‘You got yourself drunk,’ Adam pointed out.
‘– and get me stuck. Same as always,’ Leah finished. ‘What happened to our big, fun summer before college? The one that was supposed to be full of new experiences and great memories we’d take with us for when we were apart? It was supposed to be… to be…’
She trailed off, clearly grasping for words. I said, ‘The best of times.’
‘That’s right!’ She snapped her fingers. ‘The best of times! What happened to the best of times?’
Everyone fell completely silent, I assumed because they were all contemplating this question. Then I realized it was because Eli had appeared behind me in the open kitchen door.
‘Don’t ask me,’ he said. We were all staring at him. ‘I just came for the hot dogs.’
‘Hot dogs!’ Adam burst out excitedly. ‘We’ve got hot dogs! Tons of hot dogs! Here! Have one!’
He grabbed a bun, stuffing a dog into it, and thrust it out toward him. Eli raised his eyebrows, then took it. ‘Thanks.’
‘No problem!’ Adam said. ‘Lots more where that came from, too. Plus there’s chips, and baked beans, and –’
‘Adam,’ Wallace said, his voice low. ‘Chill out.’
‘Right,’ Adam replied just as loudly. Then, in a somewhat more subdued tone, he added, ‘We have Popsicles, too.’
Everyone looked at Eli again. It was so awkward and tense, you would have thought we were at a wake, not a cookout. Then again, maybe we kind of were.
‘So, Eli,’ Maggie said after a moment, ‘how’s it going with the shop? Come up with a name yet?’
Eli glanced at her, then down at his hot dog. ‘It’s still in the discussion phase.’
‘Personally,’ Adam said, ‘I like The Chain Gang.’
‘That makes us sound like a singing group,’ Wallace told him.
‘A
bad
singing group,’ Leah added.
‘It’s better than Pump Cycles.’
‘What’s wrong with Pump Cycles?’ Wallace asked. ‘That’s a great name.’
‘It sounds menstrual,’ Adam told him. Esther swatted at his arm. ‘What? It does.’
‘I think,’ Jake said, surprising everyone, as we’d assumed he was fast asleep, ‘that we need a name with edge. Something dark, kind of dangerous.’
‘Like?’ Eli said.
‘Like,’ Jake went on, eyes still closed, ‘Barbed Wire Bikes. Or Flatline Bikes.’
Adam rolled his eyes. ‘You can’t call a tourist bike shop Flatline Bikes.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because people on vacation want to think about happy, relaxing things. When they rent a bike, they don’t want to think about dying in some accident.’
I could tell, by Adam’s face as he said this – relaxed, opinionated – followed by just after – shocked, then ashamed – that he’d had absolutely no idea what was going to come out of his mouth until it was too late. And now it was.
Another silence fell. Adam’s face was flushed, and I watched Maggie and Esther exchange a desperate kind of look. Beside me, Eli just stood there, the awkwardness tangible, something solid you could feel. All I could think was that it was my fault he was there, that any and all of this was happening. But I had no idea what to do about it until I saw the pot of baked beans on the table next to me.
It was a split-second decision, the kind you hear about people making in the most dangerous or serious of situations. This was really neither, but I still was not thinking, just doing, as I reached my hand into the beans, scooping out a big gob with my fingers. Then, before I could reconsider, I turned and launched it right at Eli.
The beans hit him square in the forehead, then splattered back into his hair, a few falling to hit the deck at his feet. I could hear the inhaled breath of everyone else on the deck, indicating their absolute shock, watching this. But I kept my eyes on Eli, who blinked, then reached up, wiping some beans from the tip of his nose.
‘Oh, man,’ he said to me. ‘It’s
so
on.’
And just like that, he was reaching across me, lightning quick, and grabbing the pot of beans. One smooth movement – too fast to even think, much less stop him – and he’d overturned it on my head. I felt heat on my hair, something slimy trickling down into my eyes, even as I grabbed for a discarded plate nearby, launching the half-eaten hot dog back at him.
‘What the hell…’ I heard Leah say, but the rest of the sentence was lost as Eli pelted me with buns from the bag he’d grabbed off the kitchen counter. I ducked my head – still covered with beans – and ran across the deck, picking up along the way a bag of Cheetos for ammo.
‘Wait!’ Adam yelled. ‘That’s my breakfast for the week!’
‘Oh, lighten up,’ Maggie said, picking up a handful of coleslaw from her plate and tossing it at him. When Leah gasped, she threw another fistful at her.
Leah’s jaw dropped. She looked down at her shirt, then up at Maggie. ‘Oh, boy,’ she said, picking up a beer can and shaking it, hard, before popping the top, ‘you better
run
.’
Maggie squealed, taking off down the stairs with Leah behind her, the beer already fizzing over. Meanwhile Adam and Wallace were now exchanging rapid fire with the leftover nuts while Esther, arms over her head, ducked behind Jake, who was asleep with a sprinkling of coleslaw over his face. All of this I noticed before running back into the house while trying to simultaneously dodge the Popsicle pieces Eli was tossing at me and chucking potato chips back at him behind me. I was so busy defending myself and keeping up my offensive that I didn’t realize he had me trapped in the kitchen until it was too late.
‘Wait,’ I said, gasping for breath as I leaned against the fridge. I held up my hands. ‘Time-out.’
‘There’s no time-outs in food fights,’ Eli informed me, throwing another slushy piece at me. It hit my shoulder, knocking off some beans.
‘Then how do they end?’
‘Whoever runs out of food first has to formally surrender,’ he said.
I looked at my hands, covered with bean residue and pieces of chips, but basically empty. ‘I’m not good at surrendering.’
‘No one is,’ he said. ‘But sometimes, you lose. Nothing you can do but admit it.’