Authors: Judith Miller
Tags: #FIC042030, #FIC042040, #FIC042000, #Young women—Fiction, #Family secrets—Fiction, #Amana Society—Fiction
“You're right, Jakub. Friends do help each other. Forgive me.” I extended my hand. “I don't know what I can do, but I'll try.”
Relief spread across his face and he once again grasped my hand. “
DÄkuji
.
DÄkuji
. You make me so happy.” His stirring words of thanks touched my heart. All signs of his earlier sadness had vanished. “Come!”
He tugged on my hand and I followed, still not knowing if I had made the correct decision, but I couldn't walk away without trying to lend aid to Jakub and his family. Once he'd secured my agreement, he held fast to my hand and hurried up the sloping hillock. We'd gone only a short distance when the toe of my shoe caught beneath a jagged rock and sent me plummeting to my knees. I yelped in pain as one knee hit a sharp corner of the outcropping.
Jakub knelt at my side, his eyes flecked with fear. “You broke a bone?”
The sharp rock had caused a rip in my skirt, and I rubbed my fingers across the frayed fabric. “I don't think so.” I motioned for him to turn around, and I lifted my skirt. Blood trickled from my knee, so I pulled a handkerchief from my pocket and dabbed the blood. A bluish discoloration had already begun to form around the cut and scrapes that continued to ooze blood.
I folded the handkerchief into a triangle and tied it around my leg for protection before I worked my leg back and forth. Nothing was broken, but that didn't stop pain from shooting through my knee when I attempted to stand. “You can turn around. I think I'll need you to help me up.” I brushed the dirt from my skirtâI'd worry about the tear later.
Jakub leaned forward and helped me to my feet. Hesitating for a moment, I gained my footing but rested heavily on his arm as we finished the upward climb to the road. I sighed when we arrived at the dirt path, for I knew I must walk more than a quarter of a mile before we would reach his house. I hobbled at a slow pace, and though I knew Jakub wanted to rush me along, he remained patient. When I finally caught sight of the frame structure, I picked up my pace just a little. Once there, I could sit down and rest my leg.
Jakub pushed down on the metal door latch and shoved against the heavy wood door. “It is me, Jakub. I brought Dovie to help us.”
I squinted against the darkness that shrouded the room. Heavy coverings draped the windows obstructing the afternoon sunlight. While trying to remember the layout of the furniture, I picked my way across the room. Had Jakub not caught my arm, I would have tripped on the narrow bed that had been moved into the kitchen. “I think I need to stay in one place until my eyes adjust to the darkness.”
“We moved my grandmother in here. The kitchen is warmer and she gets chilled. When I try to cover her, she says the blankets are too heavy, so I decided to move her bed.” He sighed. “I'm sorry it is so dark, but the light bothers Sophia.”
“It's fine. I just needed a little time for my eyes to adjust.” I hoped my smile would reassure him, but after one look around the kitchen and into the parlor, I wasn't sure I would give hope to anyone. Truth be told, I wanted to back out of the kitchen and run in the opposite direction. The familiar odor of sickness permeated the house, and memories of my mother's final illness flooded my thoughts like an unleashed storm.
Jakub touched my arm. “Do you think this is influenza?”
“Maybe,” I whispered. “I'm not a doctor.” I leaned down and gently touched his grandmother's forehead. “Bring me a basin of water. She needs some cool compresses to help bring down the fever.” I kneeled beside his grandmother and stroked her hand. After he placed the basin on the floor beside me, I soaked a cloth and placed it across her forehead. A moan escaped her lips, and my heart squeezed at the pitiful sound of the small, helpless woman. Her unkempt gray hair splayed across the pillow, and purplish-blue veins protruded across her forehead and down the sides of her thin face. She might be too weak to fight off this illness. The thought skittered through my mind as I stood and moved to Sophia's bedside.
The young woman stared up at me with fever-glazed eyes. Her skin was hot to the touch. She placed a single finger on her parched lips, and I signaled for Jakub to bring a cup of water. I looked over at the makeshift bed next to Sophia, where Jakub's mother was sleeping fitfully. I placed my hand against her cheek. At least she didn't feel as feverish as the other two women.
As Jakub approached with the cup, I returned to Sophia's side and placed an arm under her shoulders. She drank only a few sips before her head lolled to the side and her eyes closed. I handed the cup to Jakub and lowered her back to her pillow.
Jakub crouched beside me. “My father must be feeling better. He is not in the house.”
My spirits lifted. “Maybe he realized a doctor is needed and he's gone to fetch Dr. Zimmer.”
He shook his head. “If he is feeling better, he went out to work in the fields. I told you he does not trust doctors.”
I couldn't believe that Jakub's father would leave his sick family alone and go out to work in the fields. Who would do such a thing? Was it more important to till the soil than tend to one's ill wife and family? I frowned. “Surely he wouldn't leave his family in this condition and go out to plow fields.”
Jakub pointed toward the door. “If we don't plant, there are no crops. If there are no crops, we have nothing to eat and no money to pay for our land. Nothing is supplied for us like it is for the people in Amana. Sick or not, we must work.”
“The people of Amana work very hard, too, Jakub. No one gives them anything, but they have more people to depend upon during their time of need.” For some reason, I felt called to defend my mother's people and their way of life.
“I know, but when you have only your small family and everyone is sick . . .” His voice broke and I saw the fear that lurked in his eyes. “It is hard.” He bowed his head. “And if my father has gone to plow the field, then it is because he must provide food for his family.”
I had been too quick to judge. Who was I to decide what or how this family should behave during a time of illness and need? “I'm sorry, Jakub. I should not have been critical of your father's decision, but I hope you will stay with your family and do what you can to bring down their fevers. I can ask Karlina if there is something she can recommend. We have a medicine cabinet in the kitchen house.”
Jakub grasped my hand. “You would do that?” His eyes opened wide and glimmered with a ray of hope.
“I'll ask, but I don't promise she will know what to do. My mother had influenza, and the doctor gave her some medicine, but I don't know what it was.” I hesitated a moment. “It didn't help except to relieve the coughing.” I glanced at his mother, who was the only one who I'd heard cough. “Do they all cough?”
“More my mother than the others. My father coughed a lot for several days.” Jakub stood and walked to the window. “Maybe I should go and see if he is in the field. He may have become weak.”
I didn't want him to go in search of his father and leave me here to care for his family. There was no telling when he might return, and I needed to get back to the Küche before I was missed. I stood and brushed a strand of hair from my forehead. “I'll go with you. I need to get back home. I promise to ask Karlina to help. Maybe we can come tomorrow and bring some medicine.” His eyes brightened and he nodded. “You should make sure to keep cool compresses on their heads if they have a fever.”
We walked to the door, and he grasped my hand. “You come with me to see if we find my father before you goâplease.” His beseeching tone melted my resolve to return home, and I followed him to the adjacent fields.
Jakub had been correct about his father. He was walking behind two large draft horses that were pulling a plow and tilling the soil. When he saw Jakub, he waved and called to him. From this distance, his father looked the picture of health. When Jakub ran ahead of me, I picked up my pace and followed on his heels, thankful the ache in my leg had subsided.
The older man doffed his wide-brimmed hat and greeted me as I approached. His skin appeared sallow and he leaned heavily on the plow as he spoke to Jakub. I understood only a word or two, and while they talked, I surveyed the tilled acreage. Numerous birds fluttered overhead, surveying the upturned earth for a worm or tasty bug. A large blackbird dipped down, snatched a morsel with its beak, and took to the air.
I was looking skyward when Jakub stepped close and touched my arm. “My father is feeling much better. He says if you can bring us any medicine that would help, he would be grateful. But no doctor.” Jakub glanced toward his father. “My father believes God will heal the rest of the family just as he has been healed, but he thinks medicine would be good to help ease their discomfort.”
My eyes shifted from Jakub to his father, who was closely watching me. I nodded and smiled at him. “I will do my best,” I called to him before leaning a little closer to Jakub. “I must go back now.”
“I'll walk you to the pond.”
Although I argued he should go back to the house and care for his relatives, he insisted upon escorting me. Guilt nagged me as he remained close to my side, and I hurried as fast as my feet would carry me. The sooner we arrived at the pond, the sooner he would return home and care for Sophia, his mother, and his grandmother. We were picking our way down the rocky hillock where I'd fallen earlier when I noticed movement beyond the pond. I shaded my eyes with one hand to gain a better view. Was that Berndt?
My foot slipped and Jakub grabbed me around the waist and held me close. When I tried to pull away, his cheeks turned crimson and he released his hold. “I thought you were going to fall. I didn't mean . . . forgive me . . . I was trying to help.”
I forced a smile but kept my eyes focused upon the distant figure, now certain it was Berndt. “Thank you, Jakub. I know you didn't want me to fall. I'm fine now.”
The moment we arrived at the pond, I insisted he return home. When he didn't argue, I sighed with relief. Once I was on the other side of the pond, I hiked my skirt and ran toward the house. Though my leg once again ached, I needed to get home. I was sure Cousin Louise would question me about the tear in my skirt. That could be easily enough explained.
Answering questions about Jakub would not be so easily answered. And I was certain Berndt would soon quiz me.
Karlina
I softly clapped my hands and herded the lambs toward the feeding machine that Anton had set up at the far end of the barn. The enclosed area provided them with a secure corner in which to feed. Just as the other lambs had learned to seek their mothers at feeding time, these lambs had quickly discovered this was the place where they would receive their milk. I smiled as they romped toward the feeding station with the energy and enthusiasm of hungry children. They were nudging one another in an effort to find their respective places when the door of the barn opened and a shaft of sunlight fell across the lambs' woolly fleece. Anton had gone to the far pasture with the other sheep, and I hadn't expected him to return for at least another hour.
“You're back ahead ofâBerndt!” I stepped away from the lambs and closed the gate to the feeding area. “I'm surprised to see you here. I thought Anton had returned early.”
Berndt strode toward me, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. “I was over by the pond, but I didn't see Anton. He probably moved to one of the far pastures.” He mashed his lips together in a hard line.
“It's a beautiful day. It appears you have the afternoon to yourself. Why are you looking so unhappy?”
He picked up a long piece of straw and rolled it back and forth between his finger and thumb. “I'm not supposed to be by myself.” He sighed and then pitched the piece of straw to the floor. “What do you know about that Czech fellow, Jakub, and Dovie?”
I felt as though Berndt was setting a trap of sorts. The idea annoyed me. “Not a lot more than you do. You've met Jakub at the pond when we've been skating. He has come over to help with shearing for the past few years. He's a hard worker and very polite. I'm not sure why you are linking him with Dovie.” I turned and walked back to the feeding area to check on the lambs. Berndt stayed close on my heels, and when I stopped, he nearly pushed me into the gate.
“Does Dovie talk about him?”
There had been a few times when Dovie and I had mentioned Jakub after meeting him while ice skating at the pond. But lately Dovie hadn't said much about Jakub or anyone else. I hadn't considered it before now, but our evening visits had become less specific and more condensed. “She hasn't mentioned him since winter, when he would be at the pond skating sometimes.” I turned to face him. “Why are you asking questions about Jakub?”
Berndt raked his fingers through his thick hair. “Because I was supposed to meet her this afternoonâover by the pond.” He hesitated a moment and looked toward the lambs. “My father insisted I go to the mill and pick up the order of flour before I could leave for the rest of the afternoon, which meant I was late getting to the pond.” He inhaled a deep breath, pursed his lips, and then exhaled in a giant whoosh. “Dovie wasn't there. I didn't know if she'd been there and left or if she was late, too.”
“So did you wait?”
“Ja, I waited for a long time, but finally I decided I'd better head for home.”
“And you never saw her?”
He shook his head. “Nein. I had started walking toward home, but on the way I kept feeling the need to look over my shoulder. I was a good distance from the pond when I turned for the third time, and then I saw her.” He bowed his head. “She was with Jakub Sedlacek.”
I was doing my best to understand, but I couldn't figure out how Dovie could have suddenly appeared with Jakub when Berndt had been watching for her at the pond. “Where did you see them? You turned around, and Jakub and Dovie suddenly appeared out of nowhere?”
He bobbed his head. “Ja! That's exactly what happened. I couldn't believe my eyes. One minute there is nothing, and the next minute I see two figures coming over the rise and down the hill. I stopped and watched because it looked like it might be Dovie, but I told myself it could not be. She wouldn't go beyond the boundaries of our land.”
“I do not think it was her.” I motioned toward the lambs. “I need to see to them.”
Berndt followed behind me. “I was wrongâand so are you. It was Dovie. I am positive. And Jakub held her in his arms.”
“What?” I spun on my heel and stiffened. “Now I know you are mistaken. You saw someone else. Never would she behave in such a manner.” I wanted to order Berndt out of the barn for making such an accusation. How dare he!
“I know what I saw, Karlina. I care for Dovie. I didn't want to believe it, either. But I am telling you the truth. I think maybe she saw me, too, but she didn't acknowledge me. You should speak to her when you are alone this evening. Ask her where she was this afternoon. See what she tells you.” He stepped away from the feeding stall. “It will soon be suppertime. I must go home.”
The utter sadness in his voice tugged at my heart. “I will do my best to find out where she was today, but maybe this is a reminder of what you've been told by your Vater.”
He shrugged his shoulder. “We will see. I will hope there is some gut explanation for what I saw.” His voice cracked, and he turned and hurried away.
No doubt my mother would believe God had sent Berndt a warning. Right now I didn't know what to think. I didn't want to believe Dovie had permitted Jakub to take liberties with her. I also didn't want to think Jakub would force his affections on a woman. He seemed a nice young man, always courteous and kind. Still, I didn't know him well.
The lambs had completed their feeding, and I decided to head to the house a little early. I might get there before Dovie. If she'd seen Berndt, she would likely return at a slow pace in order to avoid meeting up with him.
Sister Marta was outside at the water pump when I neared the house and I waved to her. “Is Dovie inside, Sister Marta?”
She placed a large metal bucket beneath the pump and shook her head. “Not unless she has been upstairs in her room all afternoon. I haven't seen her since we finished the noonday meal.” After priming the pump, she filled the bucket and commenced telling me about one of the junior girls who had dropped an entire bowl of eggs all over the floor earlier in the day. “What a mess we had.” She chuckled as she lifted and pushed down on the pump handle one final time. As she hoisted the bucket, she glanced toward the street. “Dovie's coming down the sidewalk right now.” With the bucket handle tightly clasped in her hand, Sister Marta headed back inside.
I waited for a moment and then waved to Dovie. She offered a halfhearted wave in return and her usual smile didn't appear. As she drew closer, I noticed the dirt stains and tear in her skirt. My hands trembled. Perhaps Jakub had attacked her. I rushed forward and wrapped her in an embrace.
“Are you all right?”
Dovie gently released herself from my hold and stared at me as though she thought I'd suddenly gone mad. “Why wouldn't I be?”
I pointed at her skirt. “Look at you. Your skirt is torn and dirty, and your hair is loose and tangled. What happened?”
She swiped a hand down the front of her black skirt. “I fell on a jagged rock and made a mess of my skirt. I think I can stitch it well enough to keep it from fraying any further. And with an apron over top, no one will notice the skirt has been mended.” She lifted several strands of hair and tucked them behind her ear. “The wind has been blowing, and my hair came loose on the walk home.”
“Where did you go?”
Her eyes opened wide. I hadn't intended to sound so harsh, but I needed to know what had happened and if she was trying to protect Jakub.
“I went to the pond.” She flicked at a splotch of dirt.
“Is that where you fell down?”
She drew her lower lip between her teeth. “Not too far from there. I don't have time to explain before supper, but we can talk before you leave for prayer meeting. I need to wash up before the bell rings.”
I stood there and watched her run indoors. For a moment I considered following her upstairs, but I knew I must wait.
The minute we'd finished the evening meal, I motioned Dovie to follow me upstairs. When we arrived in the parlor, I waved her toward the bedroom. “My Vater might come up to read his Bible before prayer service. Let's go in the bedroom.”
Once inside, I closed the door and sat down on my bed. Dovie sat down opposite me and folded her hands in her lap. “First you must promise you won't say anything about what I am going to tell you.”
“I'm not sure I can do that. What if it needs to be told?”
Determination shone in her eyes. “I promise that you are the only one who needs to know, but I must be able to trust you.”
I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing, but if I didn't agree, she would never tell me what had happened during her outing. “I promise,” I whispered.
“Good.” Her lips curved in a satisfied smile. “I went to the pond today. I was supposed to meet Berndt.”
“I know.”
She frowned. “How did you know? I didn't tell anyone.”
“He told me, but it doesn't matter. Go ahead with your story.”
My interruption had distracted her, but she soon regained her momentum. “Berndt never did show up, but while I was waiting, Jakub appeared. He came down to the pond and begged me to come back to his house. His family is sick, and he wanted me to help.”
I stared in disbelief as she told me that she had gone to Jakub's house. “I cannot believe you would do such a thing. You are joking with me, ja?”
“No, I'm not joking. They are very ill and need help. Isn't that what Christians do? Help each other? Jakub begged me to go with him. How could I refuse?”
“Ach! I cannot believe you would be so foolish as to go alone with a stranger to his house. What were you thinking, Dovie? Do you not realize what could have happened?” I stopped and covered my mouth. “Did he hurt you? Is that how your skirt got torn?”
“Karlina! How could you even think such a thing about Jakub? He is a very nice young man, and he did nothing except seek help for his sick family.”
As I listened to her indictment, a flame of anger rose in my chest. “You should not be condemning me. You are the one who is in the wrong. You went off of our property with a man you barely know. And Berndt saw the two of you embracing.”
Dovie's mouth dropped open. “I thought I saw him when I was coming back down to the pond, but he was nowhere in sight on my way home.”
“So you admit the two of you were embracing?”
“No! I lost my footing, and Jakub took hold of me to keep me from rolling down the hill. Since I had fallen on my way to his house and ripped my skirt, he was trying to protect meânothing more. And if Berndt cares so much about me, he would have been at the pond on time and none of this would have happened.”
I needed to harness my anger. If we continued down this path, nothing would be resolved. “Let's not place blame on anyone. Berndt's father needed him to go to the mill and pick up flour. Berndt has work he must perform whether it interferes with his personal plans with you or not. And he couldn't tell his father he was going to meet you, could he?”