Worth the Wait (Sexy Nerd Boys #1) (17 page)

              “I’m clean, I’ve been tested and I’ve never been with anyone without protection before.”

              I bite my lip and try to decide if I’m okay with this. I feel a sense of empowerment again at the fact that this is clearly my choice.

              “You swear on David Tennant’s life that you’ve never been with anyone without protection? Like not even ‘just the tip, just for a second’?”

He laughs and kisses my nose.

              “I would never lie to you or put you in any sort of danger. But, if you’re uncomfortable then that’s okay too,” he assures me.

I think for another second before finally nodding my head once.

              “I need you to say it baby,” He demands as he lowers his mouth to kiss along my collarbone.

              “Please fuck me Ethan,” I plead wiggling against his tip again.

Lust sparks in his eyes and he smiles.

              “I thought you’d never ask,” He pushes into me. He goes so slowly that by the time he’s all of the way in I’m gasping and desperate for him to give me what I need already.

              “Fuck Abby, you feel so fucking amazing,” He gasps as he buries his face in my wet hair. His thrusts finally pick up speed and I dig my fingers into his back. Heat begins to spread through my limbs as the pleasure builds in my core. I close my eyes and savor the sensations.

“Look at me baby, I need to see you when you come,” Ethan pleads.

Our eyes lock as he pounds into me. His eyes are filled with lust and hope and absolute reverence. A different kind of warmth spreads through my body. No one has ever looked at me this way. Waves of pleasure wash over me as I gasp out Ethan’s name over and over again. He comes with me, pulsing inside of me until we’re both out of breath.

He doesn’t set me down right away. We stay pressed against the wall catching our breath for at least a minute before he finally lets me stand.

“You are officially invited to shower with me every morning for the rest of my life,” I joke breathlessly. A sad yet hopeful look crosses Ethan’s face and I realize what my words must have sounded like. They hang in the air between us for several seconds.

“Promise?” He asks, his voice laced with an emotion I can’t put a name to.

Shit, this just got way too heavy. I reach over to shut off the water and step out of the shower without looking at him again.

“I have to get ready for class, so…”

“Right, I’ll...uh...talk to you later,” He grabs a towel and bolts out of the bathroom without looking back.

Ethan

              Shit goddamn. Why do I always have to push too far and fuck things up between us? Just because it seemed like we were having a moment, I shouldn’t have risked it. I freaked her out. I know I did. As soon as the word left my mouth I wanted to reach out and shove it back in. But, it was too late. I sigh and bury my face in my hands. I hear her door open across the hall and I go to my peephole to catch one more glimpse of her. I’m like a damn crack addict.

              She emerges from her apartment with her wet hair pulled into a messy bun. It’s obvious she’s rushing out of the house. Is she afraid I’m going to come back and profess my undying love to her if she doesn’t leave now? She stares at my door for a second with a sad look in her eyes before hurrying out of the building.

              I want to go after her but maybe giving her a little space will be better. I’ll just lie low for a bit and let her come to me. I need to remember she’s the stray cat and I just made a loud noise. She’s terrified now but she’ll calm down.

Abby

              It takes all of my concentration to focus on my biochem lecture this morning. My mind keeps journeying back to my steamy shower with Ethan, and that tender look in his eyes.

“Hey there beautiful.” A masculine voice startles me out of my thoughts.

Apparently lecture is over and I’m still spacing out in my seat. The voice belongs to a guy who sits a few rows in front of me whom I’ve never spoken to. He smiles at me expectantly. Oh, right, he said hello.

“Hi,” I give him an awkward smile while shoving my notebook into my backpack.

“It looks like the universe is smiling on me this morning,” He says in a dreamy sort of voice.

Everything about this guy screams ‘hippie’. He’s got that far away, most likely stoned, look in his eye. His hair is long and somewhat unkempt, and he’s wearing a shirt with a picture of the earth on it which reads ‘We shouldn’t treat our mother this way’.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve been wanting to meet you, but you always rush out of here too fast,” He explains. “I’m Ephraim.” He holds out a hand for me to shake.

“I’m Abby,” I reply shaking his hand.
Awkward
.

“So listen Abby, I would love to take you out for a meal to get to know you. Are you free tonight?”

My first instinct is to politely decline his advances. But then again maybe this is just the thing I need. Not that I’m interested in this guy but maybe going to dinner with him would cement the boundaries in my relationship with Ethan. We agreed we were going to keep things casual. That means dating other people. The image of Ethan with Sarah flashes through my mind again and that seals my decision.

“Sure Ephraim,” I say reluctantly. “Pick me up at 6?”

“Sounds great, I look forward to learning what you’re passionate about in life.”

I give him my phone number so he can text me for my address later on. I regret accepting this date almost immediately. On the bright side he seems exceptionally harmless.

Ethan

              As soon as I step into Lee and Abby’s apartment I know that something isn’t right. Instead of waiting for me on the couch or cooking diner like she had been for the past few months. Abby is nowhere to be seen. Lee is sitting on the couch nervously chewing her fingernails.

              “What’s wrong Sis?” I ask anxiously.

She just shakes her head and pats the couch next to her inviting me to sit down. Fuck, Abby must still be really wigged about what happened this morning. I try to focus on whatever inane wedding show Lee has on, but in reality I spend the next several minutes staring down the hall toward Abby’s bedroom trying to will her to come out and at least argue with me if she’s mad. When I finally hear her bedroom door open Lee and I both whip our heads in the direction of the hallway. Why is Lee so interested to see Abby?

              As soon as she comes into my line of sight I stop breathing. She looks absolutely amazing. She’s wearing skin tight jeans, a low cut black tank top, and black high heels that make her legs and ass look phenomenal. Plus, it looks like she’s wearing makeup, which is rare. She stops as soon as our eyes meet and we stare at each other for several seconds. My dick is straining against my pants. It’s all I can do not to throw her over my shoulder, take her to her bedroom, lock the door, and make her scream my name all night. Lee clears her throat, breaking up our lusty staring contest.

“You look amazing, Red,” I say finally. She blushes and looks down to avoid my gaze.

“Thanks…” There’s a look of regret in her eyes, my heart sinks.

“Are you and Lee going out tonight?” I look between them. They both look anywhere but at me and my stomach sinks. “Will you just tell me what’s up?”

“I have a date,” She finally blurts.

I think I’m going to throw up. How can she have a date? She said she didn’t want to date. Or, did she just mean she didn’t want to date me? I’m good enough to fuck but not to be her boyfriend? Maybe this is payback for the indiscretion that I don’t even fucking remember. The sound of the door buzzer causes all three of us to jump. Abby looks at me sheepishly then goes to press the button to let in Douchebag McFuckhead.

“Ethan, you should go. We can talk later,” She says quietly.

I feel like she’s ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I do my best to hide the fact that my hands are shaking as I brush past her to leave.

Abby

              I am absolutely the world's worst date. Ephraim takes me to a vegan restaurant, makes polite conversation about my major and our shared interests (which there are few of) and all I can do is think about the look of devastation on Ethan’s face when I told him I had a date. What the fuck am I even doing here? I should be at home snuggling on the couch with Ethan, sharing popcorn and lusty gazes. My stomach tightens at the thought of his sexy smile and penetrating blue eyes.

              Now here I am in the car with Ephraim in front of my building trying to figure out how to politely tell him I don’t want another date.

              “I had a good time with you, Abby. I feel like our aura’s really mingled well.”

              I do my best not to snort with derision. He’s a sweet guy and I’m sure he’ll make some hippie girl very happy someday.

              “Yeah, this was fun,” I agree as I reach for the door handle.

Before I can turn to leave he turns my face and kisses me. His lips are warm and the kiss is just fine. Not aggressive and sickening like Justin’s kisses had been. Certainly not hot and life changing like Ethan’s kisses. But, is it really fair to compare anyone to Ethan? Obviously there’s a great deal of sexual chemistry between us, that doesn’t mean we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. Although, I could definitely do worse than Ethan. He’s sweet, funny, sexy as hell, and we even like most of the same things. Actually he’s kind of perfect for me. Maybe that’s the problem. He still doesn’t know my big secret. If I let myself fall for him it will hurt like hell when he leaves me, once he knows. Who am I kidding anyway, Ethan has come right out and said he doesn’t do relationships. I realize that Ephraim and I are still kissing. Awkward. I pull away and give him a polite smile.

              “I’ll call you,” I lie before getting out of the car quickly before he can stop me again.

As soon as I step into the apartment building my heart drops as I see Ethan sitting on the steps right inside the door.

              “Hey,” I say delicately.

              “How was your date?” He asks in a tightly controlled voice.

I shrug.

              “It was fine, it really didn’t mean anything. We agreed what was going on between us was casual. Ephraim asked me on a date so I just figured ‘why not’?”

              “You agreed,” He corrects, anger seeping into his tone. His blue eyes are icy and his jaw is clenched.

              “What?”

              “I never actually agreed to see other people. It was what you wanted. For the record I…” He takes a deep breath and stands up. “You know what? Never mind.” He turns and walks to his apartment door.

              “Well, when you were getting sucked off by Sarah last night you didn’t seem to be in disagreement,” I spit acidly. Ethan winces.

              “I don’t…” He shakes his head and clenches his fists and then pushes open his door and disappears inside.

              “Ethan, wait.”                            

              “There isn’t much else to say, Red,” He says flatly. I step around him and enter his apartment then turn to meet his gaze.

              “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted to touch me,” I whisper pressing myself against him. He’s tense, trying to hold himself back from me. “Please touch me.”

              “Abby, I can’t-”

I cut him off by pressing my mouth to his forcefully. I run my tongue along his bottom lip trying to coax him to accept my kiss. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and he lets out a groan. I grab the hem of his shirt and yank it over his head. I pull back from the kiss and realize that the lipstick I put on for the date is smeared on his mouth now. It sends a jolt of lust through me to see him marked by me in a way. I smile seductively at him and plant a kiss on his chest right over his heart. I pull back and admire the lip marks I’ve left. He looks down at the mark with a mixture of longing and sadness.

              “Maybe, I should get that tattooed on me,” He says, his voice husky with emotion.

              “That would be sexy, but I think that would be awkward to explain to another woman when you’re about to bang her,” I say with forced lightness. The thought of him with another woman causes my gut to tighten with rage and jealousy. I want him for myself. I want to be good enough for him. I want him to only want me, for the rest of my life. The force of my emotions sends my already racing heart into overdrive.

“That’s just the thing Abby, I don’t think I want there to be any other women.”

My heart jumps into my throat.

“I want that to be true Ethan. But, I...can’t,” He takes a step back and inhales deeply, his eyes are deep pools of pain.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore sweetheart. I want more than this with you. I want to be your boyfriend,” He laughs without humor. “I want to go to sleep with you every night and cook you breakfast every morning. I want to know that it’s just the two of us and no one else.”

His words shake everything inside of me loose and I can’t hold back the tears.

“I’m too broken Ethan, I can’t,” I sob.

I see his hand reach out to comfort me. But, he pulls it back sharply and balls it into a fist. He turns and opens the door and waits for me to leave.