The kiss he places on my lips will be seared into my brain for the rest of my entire life. It’s nothing sexy. It is sweet and meaningful and full of his passion. Talon holds me tight against him for just a minute before stepping away and opening the door. He pauses and turns back to me. “You know how to find me if you ever need me.” He lowers his eyes and his voice before he continues, “Bye, Bailey.” Then the door closes and I’m left by myself to figure out my life and how I’m supposed to spend the rest of it without Talon.
****
I’ve been standing at the bar alone for the last twenty minutes. When I came back into the banquet room, I found Hollister right where he said he would be. I started to walk towards him, when he looked up at me. I smiled and he looked away. So I went to the bar and am now on my second drink and he has not made his way to me. A lot has crossed my mind two drinks and twenty minutes later.
I’m actually shocked I haven’t broken out in a full on panic attack yet. The more I think about the man I just let walk out of my life and then the man who couldn’t care less that I have been at a bar alone for so long, the more I start to question everything in my life.
I have been so devoted to staying with Hollister to try and make up for my knee-jerk reaction of moving across the country all those years ago that I actually sacrificed my own well-being. I have been so certain that I owe it to him and our relationship to support him and allow him time to prove to me that his abusing me, in any way, will never happen again. I am very wrong. I should have realized as soon as I moved in with him and everything changed that who I had before was not the real Hollister. The real Hollister can’t control his temper. The real Hollister allows his anger and frustration to consume him, and allows himself to react and to hurt me emotionally and physically.
As badly as I want to, I still can’t run across the room and ask Talon to forgive me for turning him down in the stairwell. I need to figure out how this is going to go down with Hollister first. I know it’s not going to go as easily as breaking up with him and moving out. No, it’s going to be a much bigger deal and I can’t allow Talon to be a part of that. This is something that I’m going to have to face on my own. Then hopefully, not too far down the road, my and Talon’s paths will cross again. I hope.
Deciding that I need to make my move before I back out, I grab my phone to make sure Drea is home. She is my only chance of not living out of a hotel for a while if I’m going to do this.
You home? ~ Bay
I polish off my drink and she responds immediately.
Yup! ~ Drea
Can I come crash at your place? ~Bay
Yes! Oh God, are you finally leaving him? ~Drea
Yup! Be there in a few. ~Bay
You okay? ~Drea
Yeah, I’ll explain when I get there. ~Bay
I shove my phone back in my clutch and make a quick decision to let him know that I’m leaving. I know I don’t owe him anything, but I do need to make this break as clean as possible so it doesn’t get too ugly.
As nervous as I can possibly be, I walk over towards Hollister on wobbly legs. It’s not that I believe he’s going to see through me and make a scene in front of all these people, but I am making a move to the beginning of the end and it scares and excites the crap out of me. On top of that, I am three drinks in and I need to get out of here before I embarrass myself.
Hollister is standing in a semi-circle with a few other guys. He’s facing toward me and makes eye contact for just a second then turns his attention back toward the man speaking. I was once a hopeless romantic, not anymore, but even still one would think their boyfriend would be excited about them walking up and claiming him as their own. Nope, not in this relationship apparently.
As I walk up to Hollister, he takes a quick glance at me but doesn’t move an inch. I begin to wonder if he knows I met with Talon in private, or if someone mentioned to him about Talon being somewhat affectionate over at the bar before he arrived.
A couple of the men greet me, pulling me out of my own head and back into the present.
“I apologize for interrupting gentlemen, if you don’t mind I need to speak with Hollister for just a moment.” They are all very kind and give me the go ahead by nodding their heads but not without taking in the deep red markings in the shape of fingers around my throat and on my arm. Then it hits me as to why Hollister hadn’t wanted me over here. It wasn’t because he suspected anything with Talon. No, he didn’t want any attention brought to my bruises.
Hollister puts his arm around my waist and steers me away from the other men. When we’re off to the side of the room somewhat alone, he steps closer and places his hand on my face. He gently rubs my jawline with his thumb and kisses my forehead.
My stomach lurches and it is then that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I need to leave him right now and not look back. I know that I have made the best possible decision and I will not have any regrets. I breathe deeply trying to steady myself and make myself sound convincing enough to make it out of here without him insisting on following me out.
“I’m really not feeling well Hollister. I just need to go; I’ll call a cab though so you can stay.”
“Are you ok?” That surprises me somewhat. I mean, he’s not always rude and careless but I really didn’t expect it tonight.
“I will be. I just need to go and get some rest. You stay and have a good time.”
“Are we going to be ok?” I really wasn’t expecting that. He’s asking me with such uncertainty. I have already made up my mind, but how do I answer that? Maybe I should just be half truthful.
“I don’t know Hollister, but now is not the time to discuss this. I need to leave, but I need you to stay. Can you please do that for me?” He looks at me with a face of confusion. He’s processing what I have just said and now a look of concern is crossing over his eyes.
I don’t mean to, but my attention is being pulled to an area behind Hollister. Once I get the courage to take a look I see Talon. He’s standing there watching us, although I can’t decide if he’s looking more angry or hurt. Possibly both. Just seeing him at this particular point pushes me further into my decision to leave Hollister.
“You’re leaving me, aren’t you? I can see it all over your face. Please, don’t do this. Not here, not now.” He’s whispering and pleading close to my ear as he holds me tight. I try to pull back but he just holds tighter.
I can still see Talon watching and now he just looks pissed. From all the way across the room I can see him working that chiseled jaw of his back and forth. He has run his hand through his perfectly styled hair and a little strand has fallen down onto his forehead. I so desperately want to go to him and push that lock of hair back out of his face. Instead, I offer him a small smile and then get back to business with Hollister.
“I just need to leave here. We can discuss this later.” I pull back again and this time he allows it to happen.
“No, I’ll come with you and we’ll work it out. I’m so sorry, Bay. Please don’t give up on me.” This is what made me stay last time, and now that will be my main mantra.
This is what made me stay last time, this is what made me stay last time, this is what made me stay last time.
“Not now Hollister, I’m leaving. Stay and do whatever it was that was so important you had to force me to come. Good bye.” Without another word or look I walk out into the lobby as I call a
cab and head to Drea’s place.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
TALON
I knew taking Susan to the dinner wasn’t going to satisfy my need to have Bailey in my life, but I was hoping it would at least appease it some. However, introducing Susan to Bailey was what I would imagine being in a guillotine would be like. You know it’s about to go horribly wrong, deadly wrong, but there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. You sit there and watch it unfold before you. Both women were very nice and friendly to one another. Although Susan has been very vocal about her feelings towards Bailey ever since we somewhat discussed the relationship, or lack thereof, between Bailey and I, she still revealed very little in front of her. It didn’t seem to me that Bailey was too happy to see that I had a date, but then again that could have just been my wishful thinking kicking in.
I notice that Bailey leaves before Hollister, but I don’t bother calling her. It’s all I can think of doing, but I have Susan with me and she really is a nice girl. She is easy to talk to and pleasant enough to spend time with when I need to take my mind off work, the other option being obsessing over Bailey. Not a good idea.
I will just wait for Bailey to come to me. I don’t know what she and Hollister were saying before she left him standing there looking defeated but I pleaded my case to Bailey and she denied me. Again. So as much as I
want to go after her I won’t.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
BAILEY
The morning after I left Hollister at the hotel he showed up at Drea’s apartment. I was terrified at first, but when I saw the sullen look on his face I had hope that he was going to let me leave him peacefully.
He had packed my two suitcases and promised to send the rest of my things wherever I wanted them in the next couple of days. He told me that he loved me too much to hurt me anymore. He said that he was going to get help and hopefully we could get reacquainted in the future, but for now he was going to give me what I wanted.
It makes me sad to leave him knowing that he doesn’t want to hurt me the way he has, but I know first-hand it is unsafe to stay with him. I know it was unfair to me to stick it out and hope he got help and got better. We have to look out for ourselves and I had put that off for far too long.
A month flew by quickly with me staying on Drea’s couch. I haven’t heard a word from Hollister since I received my boxed up things with a note that said, “I’m sorry.” That is fine with me; I am fine. I am lonely, but fine. I wasted no tears on him, I had done enough crying the last couple of months that we were together, and I don’t need to continue with that.
Outside of work I really don’t even see too much of Drea. She had convinced me to go out with her a few times but I felt more like lounging on the couch thinking of Talon. She has become quite the social butterfly since I had last lived with her and frequently had sleepover ‘guests’. That made me uncomfortable and pushed me to look for a place of my own.
Drea offers to look for a two bedroom and be roommates again, but with her new activity, I don’t think that is something I want to be around. Of course, my reasoning caused her to laugh at me and call me a prude. That‘s fine with me though, I can be a prude if I want.
I still dream of Talon all the time. I see men on the streets who make my heart race because they look so much like him. I haven’t heard anything from him or Kali since that night at the party they hosted. I also haven’t reached out to either of them.
I’m still convinced that Talon McAllister is my soul mate, but I need to protect his heart. I know he wanted to be with me a month ago and I wasn’t ready. Now I’m not sure if his feelings have diminished or if he’s moved on, either way I don’t feel like I can give myself to him completely just yet.
Work consumes every minute of every day for me and that’s exactly how I want it to be. I do however, make a trip out to California to see my family for Christmas. I spend much needed quality time with my dad out on the farm. I spend lazy days with my sister and her kids. I even have a bonfire with the boys and some other friends I haven’t seen since high school. Everyone asks about Hollister, but I decide to give them a superficial answer about him being fine and just not coming with me. My trip out there doesn’t have anything to do with him and I don’t want it to either.
The boys ask about Talon and that gets my sister going. She wants to know who he is, what does he do, is he married, do I spend alone time with him, does Hollister know I’m friends with him. The questions are starting to get ridiculous when I finally tell her to stop and that I refuse to answer any more questions about him. It does cause him to remain firmly planted in the front of my mind and I can’t shake the feeling of missing him like crazy. So Christmas morning I decide to send him a quick text.
Merry Christmas Talon ;) I hope you have a beautiful holiday with your family.
I don’t even have time to lock my screen and set my phone down before his reply comes through.
Merry Christmas My Love. I hope you are enjoying your holiday as well. Are you with your family?
Yes, I’m in California… I miss you.
This reply doesn’t come through quite as quick. I am starting to think that I crossed another line and shouldn’t have told him I miss him. Then it comes through.
I miss you too Love, enjoy your time with the family and have a safe flight back home.
I want to talk to Cheyenne about him all day, but I am not ready to go into details about my and Hollister’s breakup and I am afraid my true feelings for Talon will come seeping out of every pore on my body. The second I start to speak freely about Talon my sister will see that I am hopelessly and undeniably in love with him.
When I return from California I feel more than ready to seek out Talon. I’m just not sure how to do that. I saw him one time in the last two months. The last time I saw him I had rejected him and I’m not sure that he won’t reject me if I go to him. So in the end I tell myself that when I’m not so scared of his rejection I will send him an email.
Another month goes by and I found myself a cute little apartment. It’s in Soho which is the same neighborhood as my office. That has become really convenient since I spend the majority of my time there recently. I am focused on growing and discovering exactly who I am. I keep to myself with the exception of lunches with Drea and dinners and parties that I am required to attend for my clients.
The night I finished moving in I got a call on my cell from a number I didn’t recognize. It is early in the evening and I usually wouldn’t answer a business call, but I’m all alone tonight and I have nothing better to do.
“Bailey Hayes,” I answer as if I’m sitting at my desk in my office and not in dirty oversized sweats.
“Hello Bailey. This is Declan. How are you?” Declan? Why in the world is Declan calling me?
“Hello Declan, I’m doing well thank you. How are you? Are you here in the city?”
“I am in the city actually. I know it’s late notice but I was hoping if you didn’t have plans you would have dinner with me tonight. I have a few things I would like to run by you.”
“Sure. Where would you like to have dinner? I can meet you at let’s say… eight o’clock?”
“I’m staying at the Lowell Hotel in the Upper East Side, would you mind having dinner at the restaurant here?”
“Not at all, I’ll meet you there at eight.”
“Thank you Bailey, see you soon.”
And then we hang up. I have no idea why he would want to meet me for dinner. I honestly can’t come up with a thing. If it had to do with Talon I would assume that Kali would have come to find me so I don’t think it’s that.
Two hours later I arrive at the Lowell and the doorman opens the door to the beautiful old New York style building. I have always loved this hotel. I’ve never stayed here but Hollister and I would dine here frequently since it’s near his place.
I inform the hostess that I am meeting Declan James and she escorts me to him at a table in the back. Declan rises to greet me. He stands tall and thick across the chest in a white button up with the sleeves casually rolled up to his elbows. He’s also wearing a black belt with a chunky silver buckle on top of dark denim jeans. Declan pulls out my chair and I once again find myself speechless. He looks so much like Talon, it’s hard to look at him and see him as just Declan. I hate that. Every move causes the muscles in his chest, shoulders, and forearms to bunch up and scream sexy. Yes, I can admit that Declan is sexy, but it’s not
him
per se that is attracting me. No, it’s the fact that he could easily pass as Talon’s twin.
“You’re alone,” I say, kind of surprised he doesn’t have his posse with him.
“Yes. Is that a problem?” he asks skeptically with his brows furrowed.
“No, not at all, I just assumed your posse would be with you, I guess.” I laugh lightly at my assumption.
“My posse?” He laughs out loud and we get a few looks our way. “It’s just me; the guys are out doing the club scene tonight. I have a pretty important fight tomorrow so I’m keeping it low key.” Just then the waiter comes up to take our drink order and we both peruse the dinner menu.
“So what did you want to run by me Dec?”
“Straight to business, I like that. Would you like to approach the business or personal topic first?”
“I’m going to venture a guess and say I’m probably going to need a drink in me for the personal. So why don’t you hit with me with the business topic first?”
“Alright, fair enough. I have some pretty big name fights coming my way, with the UFC in contact. I know the business aspect of my hobby is going to turn this into a full-fledged career in no time. There is a lot of publicity that comes along with fighting in the UFC. These guys are celebrities of sorts and that is unfamiliar territory to me. Talon said you are amazing at what you do and I would like your help. I will continue to reside in California so I’m not sure I can efficiently be a client of yours, but would greatly appreciate it if you could steer me in the right direction until I can get my feet wet with this.”
“Absolutely.” I don’t even have to think about it. I already know he’s a good guy and listening to him speak I can tell he’s very intelligent. Plus, being the cousin of the man I am borderline obsessed with doesn’t hurt either.
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. I disagree on the location of your residence being an issue, I can more than manage your account from New York but if you’re not comfortable with that you’re welcome to run anything by me that you would like.”
“Seriously?” he asks with pure contentment splashed across his lovely face. “This makes me so nervous, everything being new. I don’t trust easily so I would much rather have people I know on my team.”
“Great. I didn’t come prepared tonight but I can fly out to you next week with the documents I’ll need to go over with you and get your expectations from you then as well. Will that work?”
“Yes it will, thank you. I really appreciate it.”
Before I can respond the waiter is back to take our orders, refill our drinks, and drop off an appetizer purchased by a group of guys at the bar for Mr. Declan James. Apparently he needs a publicist… yesterday. He’s already accruing a fan base, which must be exciting for him.
We continue talking about his fight tomorrow and the different ones he’s had since I last saw him. I ask him about Ava and he said he’s working on it. She’s starting to cave he admits. Suddenly I noticed his gaze is directed right behind me as I feel a warm hand settle between my shoulder blades.
I turn, hoping to see Talon, but that’s not at all who I find. Hollister. He’s standing right by me glaring at Declan.
“Can I help you?” Declan asks coolly. I know he does not like Hollister’s proximity to me or the way Hollister is glaring at him, but he doesn’t know who he is so he’s giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Hollister turns his gaze to me and it softens slightly. “I apologize for interrupting your dinner but may I have a minute with you?”
“Hollister, this is Declan James. Declan, Hollister Harrison.”
Declan’s eyes widen and he tilts his head slightly to the side before asking, “The boyfriend?”
“Yes.” Recalling his conversation with Talon about “the boyfriend” leaves me anxious and breathless in my answer.
“Hollister, pull up a chair if you want a minute with Bay. She will not be going anywhere for any amount of time with you alone,” Declan proclaims with a mixture of amusement and finality. His facial features are screaming, “Don’t mess with me.”
“I know who you are, Declan. I don’t know what you’re doing with Bailey, but I believe it’s going to be her choice if she wants to be alone with me or not.”
I don’t want Declan to have to get involved with this mess. I’m not sure what Hollister intends on discussing with me, but it doesn’t matter. I just want to get him away from Declan. I push my chair back ready to excuse myself and Hollister from the table when Declan reaches across the table and gently but firmly grabs my hand. “Please Bailey. I’m going to have to insist that you stay here with me.” Because I still feel that brotherly connection with him that started up the night I met him, I concede to his wishes and sit back down. I offer him a small smile and he relaxes back into his chair.
“Have a seat Hollister,” Declan states flatly.
“No. I don’t think I will. I’ll see you around Bailey.” And he stalks off, just like that.
I have no idea what Hollister has been up to since I moved out. I don’t know if he’s been getting the help he desperately needs. I don’t know if he’s moved on to another poor unsuspecting girl. I don’t have any clue what he would have said to me if Declan had allowed me to get up and walk away with him, but it doesn’t matter. Seeing him tonight just reconfirms that I made the right decision by walking away from a relationship that did nothing but harm me. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.
“He’ll see you around? Does that mean you no longer live with him?” Clearly I need to ‘fess up and tell Declan that I moved out and that I obviously still haven’t told Talon. I’m not sure how to go about that conversation other than flat out refusing to talk about it. I don’t want to hear from Declan that Talon still wants me. I want to hear that from Talon. I really don’t want to hear from Declan that Talon has moved on. I don’t want to hear that from Talon either though.
So I simply nod my head and tell him how I feel. “I would rather not talk about it though.”
“Ok. Do you want to know how Talon’s doing? You haven’t asked.”
YES! I want to know how he’s doing. What he’s doing and where he’s doing it. “Not tonight Declan. Please.”