CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
BAILEY
I panic internally when we walk up to Kali and Hunter while we’re holding hands. It takes everything in me not to yank my hand out of Talon’s. I'm not sure what exactly I am afraid of; it is just a gut reaction. But, I don’t want to do that to Talon. Plus it feels so amazing walking hand in hand in this cute town looking at all of the local shops. Actually, it feels comfortable, natural. As we sit there with them I realize that it isn’t a big deal to them what Talon and I do, or if it is they don’t let on. I know I need to figure out what I'm going to do about Talon and Hollister, but for the time being, I think I will just enjoy my time with him and see where it takes us.
We all pitch in and make dinner together which is a blast. They had their seafood and after much teasing, Talon grilled some chicken kabobs for me since I can't do the whole fish thing. There’s just something about the texture that I can't like, no matter what.
Talon and I are cleaning up in the kitchen after dinner and Kali and Hunter are still out on the back patio when the doorbell rings.
“Can you go let them in please?” Talon asks as he washes the dishes. I lean in and give him a quick kiss. “Thanks baby,” he whispers across my lips. A small sigh escapes me and he laughs as he pulls back.
I open the door and find a somewhat younger looking Talon staring back at me. I'm kind of awestruck at the similarities and forget to greet the four guys standing on the porch when a slow smile creeps across the face of the Talon look alike.
Jeez, he even grins like Talon.
“Hi. I'm Declan James,” he says as he reaches his hand out to me. Still, without speaking, I slip my hand into his as I survey the other three guys who are apparently enjoying my speechlessness. They are all so good looking it's unreal. I notice as I allow my gaze to saunter back towards Declan, that he has a few cuts on his face, a lip ring, and incredible eyes.
I hear a throat being cleared and realize I still haven’t said a word. I give a slight shake of my head in an attempt to get my wits about me and plaster on a smile.
“Hi, it's nice to meet you. I'm Bailey Hayes, a friend of Talon and Kali’s. Please come in.” I step aside and allow the four men to enter the house. Just then Talon comes around from the dining room and wraps Declan up in a tight man hug.
Talon releases Declan and grabs my hand as the six of us retreat to the patio to Kali and Hunter.
We are sitting around the large outdoor dining table while they all catch up with each other’s lives and I listen in. Declan and his friends are a riot. They definitely know how to have a good time and I find myself really enjoying listening to them banter back and forth. Talon may be the older cousin but he doesn’t stay out of their juvenile bantering. No, he runs with the best of them.
“Do
you
have a girl Declan?” Talon asks after being slammed for being a “washed up bachelor”.
Declan doesn’t answer right away but his buddies take all of two seconds to throw their heads back in laughter. Greyden, the friend with the most tattoos, short spiky light brown hair, golden brown eyes with two studs in his left eyebrow, and a lip ring pounds his fist into the table as he clasps his other hand onto Declan’s shoulder.
“Oh, there’s a girl alright! Tell him about your girl Dec!” Greyden manages to choke out as he continues to laugh at Declan along with Keegan and Luca.
“Shut up Greyden,” Declan forces through his teeth while looking at his hands on his legs.
“Who is she? Why is it funny?” I ask as I laugh at the guys who are laughing so hard. It’s contagious.
“Tell her why it’s so funny Dec!” Luca says as they try to control themselves.
“I’ll tell you!” Greyden announces. All of our attention turns to him, anticipating a grand proclamation. “Dec, for the first time in his life, has been turned down. Repeatedly! The girl won’t relent, no matter what our poor Declan tries, he can’t get her!” They all start laughing again, including Talon, Kali, and Hunter this time. I just feel bad for the poor guy.
Declan shakes his hanging head and then pushes Greyden off his chair using only his forearm.
“Greyden, seriously, you don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
Greyden gets up from the floor still laughing and brushes himself off. Before he can start on Declan again I cut in. I’m not sure why, but I almost feel protective over him like he somehow has become a little brother to me. I think it has something to do with how much he looks and acts like Talon; how he is so kind and polite but still looks rough and tough.
“What’s her reason for not dating you? Wait, you are asking her on a date and not inviting her into your bed, right?” I mean it as nice as possible but it just starts another round of laughing fits from everyone, including Declan this time.
“Yes, I’m asking her out on a date, not into my bed. Although, I wouldn’t mind taking her there either.” He winks and Talon all but falls out of his chair laughing again.
“Alright Romeo, seriously, what’s her story?” Talon asks.
“I’m not really sure, she bartends at a local bar that’s near our gym, so we go in there quite a bit. I asked her out, she said no.” Declan was probably going to leave it at that but Greyden, Keegan, and Luca weren’t having it.
“And then you asked her again and again and again…” they all say somewhat in unison before trailing off in laughter and pushing Declan around a bit.
“No. Not that much. I have asked a couple times and maybe I tried to convince her…” He trails off for just a second and the other guys try to hold in their laughter.
“Well, what has she been giving you as her reason for saying no?” Talon asks him and I admire him even more for actually caring what is going on his younger cousin’s life. He’s pretty amazing. Again I find myself wishing I’d met him earlier.
“I don’t know; she’s really busy I guess. She’s still in grad school full time and works two jobs. I believe her words were ‘I have more responsibilities than you have ever thought of having, I don’t have time to date.’ I mean, what do you say to that?” Declan says in a very serious tone. I think he really likes this girl.
“What’s her name Declan?” Kali asks, seeming to have picked up the same vibe as I did.
“Ava. Ava Sterling,” Declan answers with a dreamy look on his face as the corner of his mouth turns upward.
“That sounds like a movie star name. It’s beautiful,” I offer to Declan.
“Yeah. You should see her, she looks like one too. The girl has a bangin’ body on her!” Greyden interjects And the look that Declan is giving him says he’s just crossed a line.
“Dude, you can’t deny it, she’s hot.” Greyden tries to recover but just digs himself even further. I assume Declan is used to his comments and behavior because he just shakes his head and turns his gaze back to us.
“Well, I hope it works out for you man, she’s sounds like a great girl. I know what it’s like to want a girl that’s unattainable though, so hang in there.” Talon gives him a small sad smile before discreetly winking at me and it breaks my heart. I want to crawl into his lap and nuzzle his neck. I want to tell him that I am attainable and I’m all his. Unfortunately, that’s not possible.
Unable to stop myself, I lean into him and whisper, “I’m sorry” into his ear. His hand moves to my thigh and gently squeezes. He kisses the side of my temple. “I was teasing Bay, didn’t mean to make you feel bad. But I am going to kiss you now, ok?” He lifts that sexy eyebrow and smirks.
Like he even has to ask, of course
I’m
going to let him kiss me!
After accepting my nod for a reply, he turns and brushes his lips against mine softly before pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. I hear the others start to comment but when I feel his tongue coax my lips to part, everyone else disappears. It’s just me and Talon.
All too soon, Talon pulls back just enough to separate our lips for a brief second, then kisses me one more time. I realize the table is silent and my heartbeat takes off, out the front door, and around the block. “I need ice cream,” I say to Talon with bated breath. I know he knows I’m using his code when he shakes his head and laughs before giving my thigh a quick squeeze.
“Alright, anybody else want some ice cream?” Talon asks the group as he stands to retreat to the kitchen. Declan pushes out of his chair and says he’ll help as he also makes his way into the house. I sit there with all eyes on me. I don’t know what to say or what to do so I just throw them all a cheesy smile as I raise both eyebrows. That must be enough to appease them since they all laugh and start different conversations. All I can think of is whether I truly am hurting Talon with my current behavior. Hurting him is the last thing I want to do. I really care for him and if I am only hurting him by being here then maybe I should go home tomorrow. Or to Drea’s since I still haven’t found enough peace to forgive Hollister.
With that revelation, I start toward the house. After walking into the living room, which is located just off the kitchen, I can hear Talon and Declan. I know instantly I need to turn around and respect their privacy but my legs stop working on me. Or maybe it’s my brain that won’t relay the message telling them to move. I’m not sure where the connection fell apart, but it definitely has since here I stand, not moving.
“What happened to her face?” I hear Declan ask Talon. Talon responds with a loud desperate sigh. Yes, I am hurting him. I hate that.
“It’s not my story to tell Dec,” he replies remorsefully. How can I not just hand over my whole heart to him right now? This man is full of integrity, he’s loyal and trustworthy. He is something I have longed for and here he is, wanting me.
“I can only assume it wasn’t a car accident or a fall down the stairs. So are you taking care of it?” Declan has a hard edge to his voice. I just met him tonight and he’s asking with a hint of protectiveness in his voice. I’m sure it’s more out of his closeness to Talon, but it still warms my heart.
Another sigh comes from Talon, only this time it’s frustrated. “The best I can, man. Not much I can do without hurting her or going against her wishes.” He takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’m taking care of her while she’s here but I don’t know what she plans to do when we get back to the city. She won’t talk to me about it.”
“Well, if you need me to take a trip to visit the bastard, let me know. You know I have no qualms with putting douches in their place when needed.”
Talon laughs a small humorless laugh before thanking him. Suddenly my legs are working again and leading me to the kitchen. They both look up at me when my feet hit the kitchen tile. I feign indifference the best I can, and just hope they don’t clue in on how much of their conversation I shamelessly listened in on. “Hey,” I say with a smile. They both say “Hey” back and continue dishing out ice cream.
“Talon, would you mind if I take my ice cream up to your room and watch some TV for a bit? I’m starting to get a headache and I just want to lie down.”
“Of course love. I’ll bring it up to you in just a few minutes.” Any trace of frustration or sadness I heard in his voice earlier is completely absent as he peers at me beneath his long thick lashes.
“Bailey, it was great meeting you,” Declan states as he takes a step toward me. I lean in and hug him so I can whisper out of Talon’s earshot.
“It was nice meeting you too, but don’t even think about telling Talon about me gawking at you at the door earlier. He’ll know it was because you two look like twins and his ego doesn’t need that.”
I pull back to look at him and he stares at me for one point five seconds before he throws his head back in laughter. “Promise!” I state loudly.
“You have my word. I promise,” he tells me with his Talon look-a-like smile.
“And good luck with Ava, I hope she comes to her senses soon.”
“Yeah, me too Bailey. Me too. Good night.” He’s wearing a sad smile as I turn for the stairs.
Chapter Twenty Two
Bailey
Just after getting settled under the covers in Talon’s bed he comes in with two bowls of double fudge chocolate ice cream. I can definitely get used to this man serving me ice cream in bed, that’s for sure. He hands me my bowl and then climbs in next to me. I can feel his thigh up against mine; his elbow brushes mine as he gets situated. Every contact he makes puts another crack in the walls I’m trying to keep rigid around my heart.
“Everything ok?” Talon asks as he scoops some ice cream into his mouth and glances at me out of the corner of his eye.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
“What’s going on? Did something happen?”
“No. Nothing in particular anyway. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea that I stay here. I think it might be best if I rent a car to take me back tomorrow.”
“I disagree.” I can tell that he wasn’t expecting that but he keeps his facial expressions neutral so I can’t say for sure what he’s thinking.
“But Talon, I can’t make any promises to you. I can’t say that I will start a relationship with you when we get back to the city. So what I’m doing here, with you, is unfair. I’m sorry for that. I was being selfish and now I’m afraid of what my actions may do to you.”
“I want nothing more than to call you mine. Permanently. I want to be able to protect you, care for you, and laugh with you. But if all you can give me is the next few days, then please don’t take that away. Just stay, relax. Let your face heal a little more and come up with a plan before you go back.”
I hate that he is so much better at this than I am. All I can do is agree with his request. If that is what’s going to make him happy then I’ll give it to him. So I nod and continue to eat my ice cream. We sit in silence and watch my favorite movie of all time
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
. It’s so easy to just be with him.
Kali told me once before I met Talon that he’s never had a serious girlfriend. I am dying to know his reasoning for that. He’s gorgeous, so kind, successful, and he loves his little sister. A man who loves his family the way Talon does should be married with two point five kids. I just don’t understand.
“Tell me about your past relationships.” He doesn’t look at me, he continues to watch Audrey Hepburn on the flat screen but he does reach over and hold my hand before replying.
“I haven’t had any.” Wow. Kali wasn’t exaggerating.
“Are you serious? You’ve never had a girlfriend?”
“I had a girlfriend in high school, she cheated, and we broke up. Then I went to college and only found time for my studies, learning my Dad’s business, and parties. I date, don’t get me wrong. I like women and most of the time I like to spend time with them. I just haven’t found a woman who kept my interest long enough to build enough trust for me to commit to a monogamous relationship.”
So him telling me he wants to call me his “Permanently” means what exactly? I’ve known him for five days and he says that he wants me to be his. Not that I’m in any position to consider it, but does he want me to be his in a non-monogamous relationship?
He laughs and pulls me out of my own head. “Relax Bailey, I can see those wheels turning at high speed. You asked me about my past relationships and I answered honestly. That’s it. Now can I get back to watching Miss Hepburn smoke her extremely long cigarette some more?”
I concede and curl up in the crook of his arm with my head and hand on his chest after he sets my bowl on his nightstand. We continue to watch the movie as I swoon over George Peppard
and
my new favorite… Talon McAllister.
For the rest of the night we stay cuddled up to each other and watch classic after classic until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore and I fall asleep with my head resting on his chest. He has become my peace, my solitude, and my happiness.
Over the next few days, Talon takes me to all of his favorite spots around the beautiful town. Declan and his friends stay until Saturday evening and we all go out to eat at various restaurants for several meals. Talon and I walk along the beach hand in hand at least once a day. He goes running with me in the mornings and we talk nonstop, every day, all day. I know more about Talon than I do anybody else in this world. I’m not sure if it’s the same for him, but I do know that I have shared more of myself with him than I have with anyone else. Ever.
Talon is physically beautiful. No doubt about it. But the Talon I have learned about since coming to his home in the Hamptons is like no one I have ever met. He’s passionate, stubborn when he feels like it’s necessary but reasonable and compliant most of the time. He lights up like a glow stick when he speaks about his love for hockey. His warm heart radiates when he tells stories of his family. While listening to me answer the million questions he’s asked he is fully attentive, listening, learning, and wanting more. When I tell him of the darker sides of my life, he shows his protective side, the side that shows he is a bit possessive. It’s a possessiveness that I long to belong to.
We share a love of old movies and the theater. He admits he’d never sat down to watch a full film from the forties, fifties, or even the sixties until he watched
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
with me. Now he says he is as hooked as I am on them and will never be able to see Audrey Hepburn or any black and white film without thinking of me.
After breakfast on Sunday morning we pack up and head back to the city. After an hour of silence he finally breaks it by telling me how much he enjoyed our time together. He asks me, no, he actually begs me, to leave Hollister. He gives valid reasons as to why I shouldn’t go back to him even after I explain my warped sense of commitment.
I’m still struggling with the idea of leaving Hollister without putting forth any effort to make that relationship work. However, the idea of going back to him and never seeing Talon again makes me nauseous. I also can’t kick the thought of Talon having never been in a monogamous relationship as an adult. That doesn’t make me want to jump into anything with him at all. I don’t know why I’m so confused.
Just before we get into the city Talon parks the car in the parking lot of an old diner and turns to face me. He places both hands on my face and kisses me gently and the thought of even having a polyamorous relationship sounds appealing just so I can keep kissing him like this. Or is it just an open relationship he was hinting towards?
Doesn’t matter, I’m too jealous for either!
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind?” Talon whispers across my lips with his eyes still closed.
“Whether or not I could handle a polyamorous relationship with you so I can keep kissing you like this. Then I wondered if it would be better to just be in an open relationship instead.” He laughs and pulls me into a tight embrace.
“You will never cease to surprise me with the way your mind works. So? What was the verdict?”
“No. I couldn’t handle either one, although polyamory sounds more appealing than an open relationship if I had to choose.”
“Bailey, I’m going out of mind with the thought of sending you back to an unstable, unsafe home with an ass of a boyfriend and you’re considering polyamory?” He laughs loud now as he sits back in his seat but I can tell it’s not all humor coming from those lips. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”
We’re pretty deserted in the location he chose, so I crawl over to his lap and straddle him with the steering wheel at my back. I kiss him thoroughly before pulling back to look into his eyes.
“I told you I can’t make any promises to you. I also need you to know that I have decided to leave him as soon as I get back.” Talon’s eyes widen at that declaration and I can tell that he’s trying to stay neutral, not show his elation. There is a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his lips that shows his truth. “The problem is that it’s not going to be a simple break-up. He won’t let me just leave and I refuse to involve you in that. So I’m going to stay with Drea while we get everything separated between us and I can fully move out of his place.”
“But you’re not going to stay there anymore? Not even tonight, right?”
“Right. I’ll go to Drea’s after I pack a couple of bags to get me through the work week.”
“You’re not going in by yourself. I’ll go with you and then take you to Drea’s.”
“No. I need to do this on my own. He most likely won’t be there anyway.”
“Bailey,” he states, exasperated with me.
“Talon.” I won’t back down on this. I need to be able to stand up for myself and make this decision on my own in my own way.
Talon sighs in a defeated manner before pulling me into his chest and tucking my head under his chin. “What if he is there, love? If he hurts you again I’ll kill him.”
“If he’s there, I’ll leave. I’ll go straight to Drea’s.”
“If you’re sure, then do what you have to do. I understand. Promise you’ll call me as soon as you leave there though.”
“Yes, I promise. Thank you for understan
ding.” And then we kiss. A lot.