Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1) (31 page)

“That’s wonderful. I’m sure it turned out
beautifully. You always were good with the details, and—”

“Excuse me, miss.” A voice behind her
interrupts their discussion. “Would you prefer white or red wine?”

“Red, please.” The automatic reply slips
out before the revised response required for her new circumstances makes it
from her mind to her lips. Her decisions impact two people now. “Wait, I’m
sorry. Could I please have sparkling water with an orange slice instead?”

“Very good, ma’am. I’ll bring it out.”

“Thank you.”

Evan raises his eyebrows before smiling
at her. “What, no wine? That’s not like you.”

She looks down and
smoothes
her skirt, trying to avoid his gaze. Acting is one thing, but lying has never
been one of her strengths. He knows her too well and wouldn’t be fooled if she
tries. “It’s no big deal. I’m thirsty and water sounds good.”

He nods, but seems unconvinced. “So, best
man and maid of honor. How did we get roped into this?”

“Lucky, I guess.”

“At least your title has some royal
finesse to it.” He leans back in his chair and points to his chest. “I’m the
best. Do you know how much pressure I’m under?”

She giggles at his exaggerated stress.
“Yes, but you don’t have to deal with girl drama. What if her hair won’t stay
up, or the cake falls over? That’s all on me.”

“Yeah, all I have to do is make sure he
shows up and stands up.”

The clinking of metal on glass ends
everyone’s conversations. Nathan’s dad stands at the head of the table, his
face bright with happiness. “I want to welcome everyone to…”

Her focus drifts to Carrie as he talks.
She’s always been naturally pretty—dirty blonde with a few highlights to accent
her golden streaks, blue eyes, athletic build,
a
genuine California girl. But, tonight, holding hands with Nathan, surrounded by
their families, she absolutely glows. True love in its purest form.

A champagne flute appears in front of
her. “…so please join me in toasting Nathan and Carrie. We wish you many happy
years together.”

She raises her glass and lowers it down,
almost whimpering while everyone else takes a drink. Why is it when you can’t
have something, you crave it the most?

Evan tips his head toward hers and
whispers out of the side of his mouth. “Now I know something’s wrong when you
don’t drink champagne. What’s going on?”

Before she can answer, the waiter
returns, standing between them. “Your host has ordered a variety of sushi and
sashimi for the table. Please mark the card in front of you as to which
selections you prefer.”

She leans in close, whispering to avoid
drawing attention to herself. “I can’t have anything raw. Do you have another
selection available?”

“Our special this evening is an excellent
grilled salmon.”

“Yes, please I’ll have that. Thank you.”

Her pulse races as Evan stares at her,
his brow furrowed in concentration. He starts to say something, but changes his
mind. Maybe she’s safe. Then, his eyes widen as the light bulb flickers on.

“Does he know?”

Maybe
not
. Goose bumps rise on her arms. “Does
who know what?”

“Does Nick know you’re pregnant?”

Fire races through her as she shakes her
head, giving him a small smile, trying to feign innocence, hoping to squelch
the certainty radiating from him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Shae. The alcohol and the
sushi? I’m not stupid.”

She grasps his arm and squeezes it. All
her self-control not to melt into a crying mess rides on his cooperation.
“Please don’t say anything. This is Carrie and Nathan’s night. I don’t want
anything to ruin it.”

He covers her hand with his, trying to
entwine their fingers. “I would never do that to them or you. I just want to
help.”

Pulling her hand away, she takes a shaky
breath. “Okay. Thank you.”

Throughout the meal, they remain silent
with each other, speaking only to the other guests around them. Yet, his
sidelong glances reveal his continued curiosity. The surreal quality of her
life increases exponentially to be pregnant and the father not know it while
her friends and former fiancé do. When did her life turn into a trashy talk
show?

Hopeful no one notices, she swipes a
curlicue of chocolate sauce off her plate during the final course. Evan’s deep
laugh lets her know she’s been caught. “It’s good to know some things never
change.”

She giggles too and shrugs her shoulders.
“I don’t want to be wasteful.”

As Carrie and Nathan say their thanks and
goodbyes, Evan guides her away from the group. “I know this might be weird, but
do you want to come and see the house? I’d like to show you what I’ve done with
it.”

A nicer reunion than she expected. She
welcomes his attempts to make amends, but not his invitation. Going back to the
house and facing old ghosts is too much, more than she can attempt with her
heart so fragile. “I’m ready to go home. But thank you.”

“Please? I want you to see how it turned
out. I’ll take you home right afterward.”

Soft but pleading, his voice reminds her
of his gentle nature, the nice guy he’s always been. Good to her until the end,
only lashing out because of circumstance, fighting against her mother for their
broken dreams. Maybe another friend in her corner would be a good idea. “Okay.
Just for a few minutes.”

They say their goodbyes without answering
Carrie’s raised-eyebrow questions, and drive in silence to his property,
trailed by Nick’s security team.

At the house, he gives her the tour, making
her smile at his modesty describing the hand cut crown molding and hardwood
floors, as well as the custom mocha and silk finished cabinets. He had the
vision, and she had the doubts. “It’s gorgeous, Evan. Did you really do all of
the work yourself?”

“Not the electrical or plumbing work. You
have to be licensed for those. But everything else was me.”

“How did you get it all done?”

A slight frown crosses his lips before he
looks away. “I needed something to fill my time after we broke up, and this was
it. A good hobby to keep me busy.”

Guilt stabs her chest. She hurt him just
as much, listening to her mother when she should have followed her own heart.
“You should be proud.”

He turns back to her, his gaze meeting
hers, all the questions from earlier furrowing his brow. “I always hoped you
would come back. This should be ours. We should be here together.”

Too late, she realizes her mistake in
coming with him. Giving hope where there isn’t any. Whether she likes it or
not, only one man fills her thoughts and her heart. “I think it’s time for me
to go.”

“Wait.” He slides a finger under her chin
and tilts her head up to face him. “I’ve missed you.”

Nothing. There was a time when his touch
made her giddy. Now, he holds the only feelings between them. “Please don’t do
this.”

“Nathan told me everything. I know it’s
over between you and Nick.”

Tears sting her eyes. Everyone else knows
what she can’t accept. “That doesn’t have anything to do with you and me.”

“It means you can give me another chance.
You know how sorry I am for what I did to you.”

She steps back from him, wrapping her
arms around herself. Both of them bear the burden of their implosion. “I am
too, but it doesn’t mean I want to get back together.”

“Do you hate me?”

Never realizing the true impact of their
separation on him, she shakes her head. All this time, he thought she was angry
rather than wounded and ashamed. “No, of course not.”

“Then, please, listen to me for just a
minute. I want you back. You’re all I’ve thought about for the past year, and I
don’t want to miss another chance to be with you.”

“Evan—”

“I know you still have feelings for him,
but I have enough love for the both of us. Enough to take care of you and the
baby.”

Hesitant to hurt him, she can only be
honest. He’ll never be able to fill the void Nick left behind. “I can’t be with
you when I love someone else.”

“I know I’m second choice. But if you
give me a chance, I think you’ll learn to love me again. Just like we used to
be. No drama, no danger.” He nods toward the window at the men milling around
his driveway. “Just a safe, peaceful life in the house meant for us.”

“No, it’s wrong. I can’t do that to you.”

“You’re not doing anything to me. I know
exactly what I’m asking. Nick would never have to know. You could marry me, and
he’ll think the baby is mine.”

Her hands fly to her face. His suggestion
is too outrageous to consider. “Why would you want to do this? How can you
pretend to be the father of another man’s child?”

“Because I love you. I want to give you
what he won’t.”

She shakes her spinning head. “This is
crazy.”

“I know. But, if you say yes, you’ll be
free of him, and we can be together.” He runs his finger across her cheek. “At
least say you’ll think about it.”

Her breath catches at the realization of
what his proposal means. Marrying a man she doesn’t love saves the one she
does. Rather than gain her freedom, she can release Nick from the torment
holding him prisoner. He always puts her needs before his own, even when she
doesn’t agree with him. Now, it’s her turn to sacrifice her happiness for his.

All she can do is whisper as he takes her
hand. “Okay.”

Chapter Sixteen

Nick leans back in
his chair and props his feet on his desk as Max updates Carter and him about
the bungled hijacking attempt on one of their largest shipments.

“Some of Juan’s guys were stupid enough
to think nobody would notice twelve fucking semis suddenly vanishing. I guess
they thought at five o’clock on a Friday afternoon we’d be closed up for the
weekend. Anyway, they rerouted everything to one of his northern warehouses.” Max
shrugs his shoulders, a smart-ass smirk crossing his face. “Well, that’s what
it used to be.”

Carter flips through the pages in the
folder. “What’s the damage?”

“Nothing for us. Paulo’s team recovered
the trucks still fully loaded about an hour later. Juan lost six men and the
main building, plus two small structures on the property.”

Nick half-listens as they talk. Working
on the weekends has always been a regular occurrence. No different from any
other day. Until Shae. She gave him a reason to quit, provided him with the
motivation to come home. Without her, nothing but work fills his time.

Carter turns to him. “What do you want to
do?”

“I’m tired of him fucking with me in all
these half-assed attacks. I think it’s time the rest of his distribution system
goes up in flames too.”

“Really?” Shock tinges Max’s voice. “You
want to go that big?”

Nick’s feet drop to the floor, and he
walks over to the window. Orange and pink streaks crisscross the sky. Shae’s
favorite time of day. If she was still his, they would be on the deck, her
sweet body pressed against him as they watched the sunset. “Juan’s too weak to
do any real damage, and his threats are nothing but an annoyance. I might as
well prove it to anyone who has a doubt.”

Letting out a low whistle, Max shakes his
head. “No one will wonder after this.”

“Anything else?”

“I’m going to increase security on Shae.
Just in case your message causes any thoughts of retribution.”

Nick turns away from the window at the
mention of her name. For more than three weeks, he’s tortured himself with
updates from Max. Needing to know where she’s going and with whom. At first,
the reports were infrequent. She rarely left the house. Now, she’s coming back
to life and doing things. Without him. “Where is she tonight?”

“Carrie and Nathan’s engagement party at
Yamato’s. It started at seven. She’s still there.”

His jaw clenches. He should be there too,
at her side, as she celebrates with her friends. Not alone. Or with fucking
Evan.
The biggest regret of his
life…telling her to be with him.

He can’t stop the images flooding his
mind. She probably has her hair up, shoulders begging to be kissed. Her flowery
scent floating over her silky skin. The way she smiles at him and squeezes his
thigh when she talks to her friends, reminding him he still occupies her
thoughts. God, he misses her. “How many guys do you have on her?”

Max’s expression remains neutral as he
recites his usual speech for any place she goes. “We scoped out the restaurant
before she arrived. Three inside, four outside, with two at each entrance.
She’s well protected. Nothing’s going to happen to her.”

The information fails to relieve his
worry. Only he or Max can protect her the way he wants, yet she refuses to let
Max guard her anymore. She sent the message through Carrie—that Max deserves
better than having to babysit her, and he can’t push it. His stomach clenches
at the thought of her not allowing him protect her at all, of not keeping her
safe from the threats lurking around him. “Up it to ten. At her place too.” He
runs his hand through his hair. “Why the fuck won’t she come back to the
house?”

Carter rolls his eyes. “You’re such a
fucking dumbass. You broke her heart. There’s no way in hell she’s going to do
what you want.”

“Fuck you. How do you—?”

Max interrupts their argument after
glancing at his phone. “Well, you just got your answer.”

“What?”

“The party’s over. She left with Evan.”

Unable to ignore the thought of her in
Evan’s bed and not his, he pours another glass and waits for the sun to rise. The
throbbing of his chest mingles with the burn of whiskey as it slides down his
throat. His first taste in two weeks. Drinking his way through everything in
the house until Marta refused to buy more, and Max and Carter ganged up on him.
An intervention to steer him off the path of self-destruction.

The only threat with any impact was to
bring Shae back to see him wasted and broken. Knowing she would do everything
she could to save him and their relationship, he couldn’t take the chance he
would succumb to her sweetness. So, he sobered up, apologized to Marta, and
threw himself back into work.

He pushed her to Evan, and now Evan’s
where he should be. Uncertain who he hates more between himself and Evan, he
rifles through the files in his drawer before toppling the stack on the
credenza behind his desk.
Where the fuck is it?
“Max!”

After a minute, Max comes through the
doorway, shaking the mixing bottle for his protein shake. “What?”

“Where’s the file you gave me on Jessica?
I need her sister’s address.”

Max’s eyes widen before he shakes his
head. “What the fuck are you thinking? Don’t go over there.”

“Where is it?”

“It’s eight in the morning, and you’re
fucking drunk. You’re going to regret this tomorrow.”

No, his mistake was chasing after an angel
like Shae in the first place. He convinced her to stop flying away, but he knew
it wouldn’t last. Smart enough to know they didn’t belong together, she never
tucked in her wings. Always ready to take flight. Too scared to share her true
feelings with him until the very end, when he was too damaged to accept her
love.

“What are you? My fucking mother? I don’t
need you telling me what I fucking am. I just need you to give me the fucking
file!”

“You think screwing Jessica’s going to
make you feel better? Believe me, it won’t.” Max pulls open the bottom drawer
of the filing cabinet. “You know nothing happened between Shae and Evan. She’s
not like that.”

“Yeah, but it will eventually. I told her
to be with him, and now she is. So, shut up and give me the god damn fucking
address.”

Max yanks out a yellow envelope and
tosses it on the desk. “You know this will destroy any chance you have of
getting back together with her.”

“Which is fucking perfect, because I
don’t deserve her anyway.” He takes a long drink before ripping off the paper
flap. “Where’s Jacks?”

After only twenty minutes, the limo stops
in front of a Spanish style home with a golden stucco exterior and terra cotta
accents. A pink princess tricycle sits in the small yard. The front door swings
open before Nick reaches the porch.

Jessica licks her lips as a smirk
emerges. “Nicky DeMarco. I knew you’d be back.”

The first words out of her mouth remind
him why their relationship only thrived in the bedroom. Her mean streak always
made worse when she pouts. “You know I fucking hate it when you call me that.”

“I’m sorry. I forgot.” Pressing up
against him, she whispers in his ear, “Maybe you should come inside and spank
me for being such a bad, bad girl.”

“There’s a lot I want to do to you, but
that isn’t one of them.”

Smoothing over her twisted-up, platinum
blonde hair, she tilts her head and squints at him. “You know I need to talk to
you, but you haven’t returned any of my phone calls. Then, you just show up on
my doorstep. Why should I let you in?”

“Because I need something else besides
talk.”

Her laughter dissipates the tension, and
her good mood returns. “Well, hell, I know that.” She waves her fingers at Max,
who remains motionless, leaning against the car with his arms crossed. “I don’t
think Max is too happy you’re here.”

“Fuck Max.”

“I will if you want me to. And you can
watch. Or join in the fun. Your choice.”

He’d forgotten how screwed up she is.
Exactly what he needs right now. “What? I’m not enough for you?”

“Oh baby, you’re more than plenty. Even two
guys at one time couldn’t make me feel like you do.”

He winces at her comment. No woman should
be this dirty. “God, Jessica, what is wrong with you?”

“I like to fuck. That’s why you like me.”

“Yeah, it is.”

She nods to the bottle of whiskey. “You
look like shit, but you’re still sexy as hell.” Running her finger across his
bicep, she smiles up at him. “You’re even bigger than the last time I saw you.
You must work out a lot.”

“That’s all I do.”

“Then come inside and let me show you
what you’ve been missing.” Her fingers squeeze his as she leads him to her
bedroom, stepping over toy baby strollers and Barbie dolls. A plastic tea cup
cracks under her flip flop.

“Where is everyone?”

“Grandparents Day at the zoo for the kids
and the shop for my sister and Danny.” Stripping off her shirt and shorts, she
rubs the waistband of her black thong, licking her lips. “We’ve got all day to
do anything you want.”

He tries to take a drink before she pries
the bottle out of his hand and sets it on the nightstand. Pushing him down on
the bed, she climbs on top of him, straddling his waist. “Do you want to fuck
me, or do you want me to fuck you?”

“I want you to do whatever it takes to
make me forget her.”

A frown crosses her face before she leans
down and whispers in his ear. “‘Her,’ huh? That sounds like a bad line from a
lame movie.”

“Yeah, but it’s the fucking truth.”

“Don’t worry, Nicky. You won’t even
remember your own name when I get done with you.” She nuzzles his neck and
kisses from his ear down his jawline.

A
beachy
,
coconut perfume wafts over him.
She should smell like flowers.
He turns his head when
she reaches his mouth, unwilling to let her lips touch his. Her long, purple
fingernails graze his chest as she pushes up his T-shirt.
They should be short and pink.
Driving his fingers through her hair, he flinches as she kisses and licks down
his chest.
It should
be silky and soft.

She kneels between his sprawled legs and
pushes off her panties. Slowly running her hand between her soft folds, she
brings her finger to her mouth and sucks. “You don’t want to kiss my mouth, but
I bet you want to taste my sweetness.”

His stomach turns at her unknowingly poor
choice of words, bringing him back to reality. What is he doing here? No one
can replace Shae. “I feel sick. I’ve got to go.” He scrambles off the bed and
grabs his bottle.

She swipes her clothes from the floor and
pulls them on, her body shaking in anger. “What the hell’s the matter with you?
You used to be able to hold your liquor. You’re falling apart, Nicky.”

Following him down the hallway, she grabs
for his shirt, but he jerks away. “I said I’ve got to go.”

“I still need to talk to you. There’s
something I have to tell you.”

“Call my secretary and make an
appointment. I have to get out of here.”

Her face flames red as she stands on her
porch. “You’re an asshole. You know that? That’s why she fucking left you. Because
you’re a fucking asshole!” She slams the front door as he climbs into the limo.

Max’s smug smile makes him take another
long drink. “That didn’t take long.”

“Fuck you.”

“I knew you couldn’t go through with it.”

Nick wipes his mouth with the back of his
hand and flops back on the seat. “Tell Jacks to hurry up.”

Max’s chirping phone interrupts their
silent drive. He swipes the screen. “Fuck!”

“What?”

“Shae left the house without security.
They don’t know where she is.”

Amber liquid sloshes over the lip of the
bottle as Nick flies up. “Why the fuck would she do that?”

Max scrolls through the message. “It
wasn’t her. Evan came to pick her up and before he went inside he told the
guys, and I quote, ‘Tell your boss my fiancée doesn’t need his protection
anymore. I’m taking care of her now.’”

Nick’s body shakes as fire races through
him. He’s a fucking idiot and takes back everything he said. “I want her found
and him dead.”

* * * *

Evan squeezes her hand. “Are you okay?”

Shae nods. As much as she can be with a surprise visit to the
obstetrician. Evan promised he would give her time to think. Instead, he showed
up at her door with a smile and an appointment with a colleague he’s known
since medical school. With an answer for all of her arguments—a physician they
can both trust, her privacy guaranteed on an early Saturday morning with no
other patients, no doctor of her own after having been gone for so long—she let
him talk her into coming.