“This is my life and my problem.
I
will figure out what needs to be done.” His gaze caught his mother’s startled expression. “I love you, Mom, but I’m a big boy now, and I’ll make my own arrangements. Nothing has to be settled right this minute, anyway, since I’ll be here for several more days from what it sounds like.”
“But, Cole…” His mother started to argue, and he raised his hand to silence her protest.
“I’ll handle this.” His gaze swept the room before landing on his eldest brother, and he frowned when he saw where the other man’s eyes settled. “You could probably go ahead and go back to Nevada, Justin, unless Mom needs you here.” His brother's brown eyes swung back to his with a shocked expression. “I know you have cattle to take care of.”
“That sounds an awful lot like a brush off, little brother.”
“No.” He drew out the word on several syllables. “I’m thinking of your ranch, that’s all.”
“Since when are you worried about my place?” Justin stepped closer to the bed and stopped directly behind Carrie.
Cole didn’t answer at first. He didn’t trust his mouth to say something he would regret later like
“Go the hell home, Justin, and leave Carrie alone.”
Finally, he couldn’t stay quiet. “Since you’ve decided to pay an awful lot of attention to
my
girl.”
Silence filled the room except a small gasp that escaped Carrie’s mouth.
Cole couldn’t miss the challenge in his brother’s eyes.
He’s set his sights on Carrie, and there isn’t a damned thing I can do about it.
“Your girl? I don’t see a ring on her finger, Cole.”
Cole narrowed his eyes to mere slits and growled, “Keep your distance,
brother.
”
Carrie stood and almost shouted, “That’s about enough out of both of you. I’m not a piece of meat you two can fight over like two dogs. I’ll make up my own mind as to who I’m with—not either of you.”
“But, Carrie…”
“Don’t you but Carrie me, Cole. I think you would have learned over the period of time you’ve known me that I’m an independent female if nothing else. I will not allow
any
man to decide my life for me.”
“Yeah. I can’t deny that.” A soft chuckle left his lips. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was when anger infused her face. The soft flush of color that rose on her cheeks had him shifting in the bed uncomfortably when he felt the stirrings of desire.
Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem.
“Then you should know better. This high-handed behavior will get you nothing.” She turned to face Justin. “As for you, I don’t even know you, so don’t go getting any wild ideas.”
“Wouldn’t you like to?”
Cole could have spit nails when the soft timbre of his brother’s voice drawled the words. Carrie's face turned a deeper red, and his frown deepened when his gaze shifted from her to his brother.
Does she want to get to know Justin better? I thought she said she loved me. It would be just like a woman to say she loved one man and then change her mind a few moments later if offered something better. Besides, what can I offer her? I’m just a drifter—no income now since I can’t ride or work on trucks. Justin has the ranch in Nevada. He would be just the type of guy Carrie would be attracted to. She told me once she wasn’t interested in a temporary man in her life.
“I should get some rest. I’m kind of tired since they gave me something for pain not long before y’all came in.”
“Okay, son. We’ll leave you alone,” Bonnie replied, heading for the door while the rest of the family followed. Justin shot Cole a challenging look before sliding his glance to Carrie then disappearing.
“I need to get the baby, anyway. He’s been with Chase’s neighbor all morning. I’ll come back later this afternoon.” Carrie stepped closer, obviously intending to kiss him goodbye, but he turned his face so her lips brushed his cheek instead. A deep frown marred her face as she moved back.
“That’s not necessary, Carrie. I think they are going to do some more tests this afternoon, anyway.”
“If that’s what you want,” she whispered, pain reflected in her eyes.
“That’s what I want.” He knew he was being stubborn, and the hurt on her face almost made him change his mind.
It would be better to stop this whole thing now, rather than later. She would be better off with Justin, anyway. What good am I to her if I can’t walk?
“I love you.”
“I’ll see you later.”
She bit her lip before turning away and walking out his door.
He released a heavy sigh, tipping his head back against the bed.
Chapter Sixteen
“Are you okay, Carrie?” Abby stopped her in the hall not far from Cole’s room.
“I guess.” She shook her head. “I just don’t understand him.”
Abby laughed. “Get used to it. That’s the way it is with Wilder men, no matter which one you choose. They say women are impossible to understand…”
Carrie couldn’t help but smile as she hugged Abby. “I get the feeling we need to sit down and talk before I have to kill one of them, and I’ll give you one guess which one.”
Abby linked her arm with Carrie’s. “That we do. How about we bring the baby and go out tonight so we can talk without the men hearing?”
“I think I like that idea. I could probably use a beer. Is it too early to start drinking?”
“How about later? We can go shopping, though. I still need to get a few things for this little one.”
“More shopping? Good grief, woman, we won’t have any room in the house at this rate,” Chase teased when they approached.
“Oh, hush, daddy. I’m not buying any more clothes and what not, but we still need diapers.”
“Good. You’ve already got one closet full and working on another.”
Abby smiled and slid into his arms. Carrie’s heart clenched at the sight. She remembered those nights with Cole, and she wanted that again, for the rest of her life. He told her he loved her earlier, and then didn’t respond when she said it again before she left the room. She didn’t know what to think anymore.
“Don’t worry about him, Carrie. He’ll come around.” Chase’s advice mimicked his wife’s, but she wasn’t so sure. All of the sudden, Cole seemed to be pushing her away, and she wasn’t sure she had the energy to fight him anymore.
She shook her head. “I don’t know what his problem is now.”
“My guess would be he’s feeling not quite a man anymore.”
“What do you mean, Chase?”
“He can’t move his legs, Carrie. What was he doing before this? He rode rodeo—rodeo rough stock, work on big-rig trucks, and helped you at the store, from what I understand.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But nothing. He can’t do those things anymore and may not
ever
be able to again. And what about making love to you? What if he can’t? How would that make you feel?”
“Pretty helpless.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t care about those things, though. I love him no matter whether he can walk or not.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but you have to convince him.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can, Chase. What if he won’t let me?”
“Listen to Abby. She knows him pretty well, and she can tell you just how stubborn I was.” A soft chuckle left his mouth. “That will give you a good clue into Cole’s personality.”
Once they returned to the house, Chase left to work with one of the horses, leaving Abby and her inside.
“Let me tell you how Chase and I met. I’ve never seen a more stubborn man and trust me, Cole isn’t any different as far as that goes.” Abby told her the story of how she and Chase and fought their attraction for each other, and she had to laugh. “The first I met Cole, I didn’t have hardly any clothes on.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No.” Abby blushed. “Chase and I were here in the living room. One of the horses had kicked him and broken his leg. I kept trying to help him, but he could be so damned stubborn. He drove me nuts!”
Carrie chuckled.
“Don’t ask me why, but I volunteered to play cards with Chase. Somehow,” Abby cleared her throat, “somehow we managed to end up playing strip poker.”
“Strip poker?”
“Yeah. Anyway, we finally gave in to the desire that raged between us every time we were in the same room.” Abby’s blush deepened. “We hadn’t gotten dressed yet when Cole pulled into the driveway and came busting through the door. I didn’t have a shirt on. Embarrassed is too mild a word, but what really shocked the hell out of me was the fact that he looks so much like my former husband, it’s eerie sometimes.” She revealed to Carrie how she lost her first husband in the Twin Tower bombings, and they cried together as Carrie told her about her parents and Jess.
“You’ve been through the ringer in the last couple of years.”
Carrie gave Abby a watery smile. “Yeah, you could say that, but when Cole was there for me after Jess died…”
“You fell in love with him.”
“Yeah. Even though I knew he might not be around, I didn’t have a lot of choice. My heart wasn’t listening very well.”
“I know what you mean. That stubborn organ tends to do whatever it wants to. The Wilder men tend to bring out the best in the right woman.”
Carrie shrugged. “I didn’t want to fall in love with him, Abby. It just complicated things, and I’m not sure I have it in me to fight him if he doesn’t want to be with me.”
“That’s just it. He does.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve seen it in the way he looks at you—like you’re something precious and he’s afraid he’ll do something to screw up and you’ll walk away. Now, he’s going to push you away because he thinks that’s what is best for you.”
“How am I going to convince him being with him
is
what’s best for me?”
A mischievous smile lifted Abby’s lips at the corners. “I’ll have a little talk with him. Now, let’s go shopping.”
Several hours later, the two women sat in a small coffee shop in the mall with several bags sitting in a chair next to them.
“Chase is going to kill you for buying more clothes.”
“Nah.” Abby waved her hand in a dismissing gesture. “He loves me, and he’s not going to tell me no when it comes to things for his son.”
Carrie cocked an eyebrow when a small smile lifted the corners of her lips. “His son? Have you had an ultrasound to tell you it’s a boy?”
Abby stuck a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth as her own smile flashed across her face. “Don’t need one.”
“You can tell it’s a boy?”
“Yeah.”
“Mother’s intuition?”
“No.” Carrie stared and Abby laughed. “Just a feeling.”
“Your kids will never be able to get away with anything.”
“I didn’t during my childhood, why should they?” Abby chuckled again before she stuck more ice cream in her mouth and sighed heavily. “I just love ice cream.” She put the spoon down and said, “Now, let’s talk about Cole and you.”
“What if I can’t convince him he’s being a jackass about this whole thing and the best thing for me is to be with him? What will I do if he turns his back on me?”
“Even if he does, it will only be for a short time. He loves you, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and realize he can’t live without you.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
“Believe it, girl. As long as I’ve known Cole, I have never seen him act like he does around you.”
Carrie shrugged. “I don’t know how you can be so sure.”
Abby smiled while she cocked her head slightly and said, “Just a feeling.”
* * * *
That afternoon, Carrie walked into his room, and he frowned. “I thought I told you not to come back this afternoon.”
“What’s your point?” She cocked an eyebrow as her gaze raked him from head to toe, before she settled into the chair at his side.
“You obviously don’t listen very well.”
“I haven’t before, so what makes you think I would start now?”
A dry chuckle left his lips. “That’s the Carrie I know and love.”
The surprised gasp that left her mouth made him realize what he said, and he shifted his gaze away from her lest she read the truth in his eyes.
She picked up his hand in hers, cradling his palm, letting the warmth of his touch penetrate the ice she felt radiating from him. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Look at me, Cole.”
Biting his lip, he finally turned back to face her.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me. If you can do that, I’ll go back home and you’ll never see me again.”
He stiffened and pulled his hand from hers. “Go home, Carrie. I don’t need you here.”
The pain in her eyes sliced his heart to shreds. He thought for sure she was going to cry, and if she did, he’d be a goner, but she pulled her shoulders back and retreated.
“Fine. I’m glad we got this straightened out.” He could see the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes until anger took their place. “I really thought you might be different, you know? Not the typical rodeo guy, but I guess I was wrong. You just use people and throw them to the side when you’re done. Well, I’m through being your port in the storm. If you would rather wallow in self-pity than pull yourself up by your bootstraps and let someone who loves you help you, then that’s fine. I’m done.” She turned and headed for the door.