“No.” Taking deep, rapid breaths, she tried to calm her heart. Cole’s mind reached out to her, but the only thing she could make out were two words—Carrie Marsh.
* * * *
She felt like shit. Crying all night and then needing to be up every four hours to feed the baby drew the last of her energy, and she still had to open the store. Thank the Lord for Agnes, her next-door neighbor. She willingly offered to babysit Jess’s son while Carrie worked the store today.
Pulling the door open, she somehow managed to get ready for the first customers just in time. The snow had let up some, and the store was hopping. Several people had run out of feed during the weeklong snow.
Her eyes misted over when her thoughts turned to Jess. The sun had shone bright the other day when they buried her, but now the clouds returned, enveloping her heart in sadness. She lost her parents, she lost her sister, and now she lost Cole, too. She was all alone except for the baby.
The blinking light on the answering machine caught her eye when she had come into the office this morning, but the steady stream of customers prevented her from finding out who called. “It was probably a customer who came in, anyway.” It was five, and she was never so thankful for it to be closing time.
Finding her employee in the back room, she asked, “Mark? Can you lock the front?”
“Sure, Carrie.”
She grabbed the cash from the register and headed to the office to put everything away.
“You need anything else before I go?”
“No, thanks. I’m good. I’m just going to lock everything down and head for home.”
“See you tomorrow, then.”
“Sure. Night, Mark.”
She glanced at the answering machine and hit the button to listen while she slipped the cash bag into the safe. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard Cole’s voice. Tears gathered on her lashes as he said, “Please, baby—call me.” She played back the message again, jotting down the number. She wasn’t sure she would call him, but she wanted it, anyway, just in case.
Carrie made her way to the door, shutting off the lights as she went. The phone rang, but she ignored it until she heard a female voice, one she didn’t recognize.
“Carrie? If this is Carrie Marsh’s phone and you can hear me, pick up the phone, please.” The desperation rang clearly in the woman’s voice.
Silence.
“Carrie, please, if you can hear me, pick up the phone. My name is Abby Wilder. I’m Chase’s wife and I need to talk to you. It’s an emergency. It’s Cole.”
Her breath caught in her throat for a moment as she raced for the office and grabbed the phone.
“Hello?”
“Carrie?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, thank the Lord I got you. This is the only number I could find.”
“What’s wrong? What about Cole?”
“There was a terrible accident. He’s hurt, Carrie, and we don’t know if he’ll make it or not. There is a lot of damage.”
“Oh, God…” she whispered, pressing her fingers to her lips when she remembered his desperate kisses from the night before.
“He needs you, Carrie. Please. You have to come to Laramie.”
“I don’t know. I mean we didn’t part on the best of terms.”
“It doesn’t matter right now. He needs you here.”
Silence.
“Carrie, I don’t know if Cole told you about me, but I can see things and know things.”
“No, not really.”
“I can and, Carrie? I don’t want to scare you, and I haven’t even told his family, but if you don’t come, he’ll die.”
“But I…”
“He loves you, Carrie. He may not even know it yet himself, but he does. He needs your strength and your love to heal.”
“I don’t…”
“Don’t tell me you don’t love him because I know you do. I can feel it through the phone.”
Sobs racked her frame and tears rolled down her face. “All right. I’ll be there as quick as I can. Can someone pick me up at the airport? That’s the fastest way for me to get there. I have to pack some things for me and the baby. I’ll call you from the airport.”
“Baby?”
“It’s not Cole’s. He’s my nephew.”
“Ah. By the way, I wasn’t judging.”
“It’s okay. I’ll call you back in a little bit. Give me a number I can reach you.” She jotted down the number and said, “Thanks for calling me, Abby.”
“You have no idea how much your presence here is needed. I’ll see you shortly.”
She hung up the phone, racing for the door before she slammed it shut and ran for her truck.
Be careful,
she thought.
It won’t do him any good if I get hurt trying to get there.
Picking up the baby from her neighbor, she hurried to the house, threw some clothing for both of them in a bag, and sat down to call the airport. Luckily, there was one more flight that night for Laramie. She booked it, grabbed her bags, and headed for the truck. Not having a lot of time before the flight left, she tried to get there as quickly as possible. Once she was checked in, she found a chair and called Abby.
“How is he?”
“He’s still unconscious, but he’s hanging in there for now.”
She told Abby what time the flight was due in and hung up. The tears started to well up in her eyes again as she sent up a silent prayer for God not to take him from her, too.
Boarding the flight, she settled herself into a seat and strapped the baby into his car seat next to her. Luckily, the flight wasn’t full.
It didn’t take long for them to reach Laramie, and when the plane rolled into the gate, she called Abby back to let her know they were there.
“Great. I’ll meet you out front, then.”
She chuckled. “I’ll be the haggard looking one toting a baby.”
Abby laughed, too. “I’m sure I’ll be able to find you then.”
A nice looking cowboy helped her take her luggage out to the curb. He was polite, tall, with dark hair and brown eyes, but he wasn’t Cole.
“Thank you for helping me.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am.” He tipped his hat with a twinkle in his gaze.
“Thanks.”
She heard a female’s voice behind her say her name, and when she turned around, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to be wrapped in a warm hug. “Abby?”
Abby stepped back. “Yeah.” She took in Carrie’s appearance with one sweep, and Carrie knew she looked like hell.
“Come with me. You could use a nice bath, about twenty-four hours of sleep and someone to talk to, I’m sure.”
Carrie choked back a sob and nodded before she picked up Robert and they walked out to Abby's truck.
"When’s your baby due?”
Abby laid her hand across her stomach and smiled. “In about four more months.”
“I’m happy for you. I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful mom.”
“Thanks. You look like you are doing pretty well yourself.”
“Yeah, well—looks are deceiving. I’m trying, though. I didn’t have a lot of training on this.”
Abby laughed. “I don’t think any of us do.”
Carrie smiled but dropped her gaze.
“I'm sorry for your loss.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure it’s going to hurt for a long time to come.”
“It’s not easy losing a loved one.”
Carrie peeked at Abby through her lashes, wondering at the sad smile that lingered on her lips. Her attention was drawn away when the ranch came into view.
When they pulled into the driveway in front of the house, a man whom she assumed was Cole’s brother came out and opened the door. “Hi there. You must be Carrie.”
“Yes, I am. Chase?” When Chase nodded, she continued, “Cole’s told me about you.”
“Uh-oh. That can’t be good. Whatever he said, I’m sure most of it is a lie.”
She let a small smile lift the corners of her mouth. “Not bad things, honest, but I can certainly see the resemblance, especially the dimples.”
Abby curled her arm around her husband’s waist. “I know. I just love them, don’t you?”
Chase chuckled, but she could still see the strain on his face. “I’m going to like you, Carrie. I’m just terrified at the trouble you and Abby will get in.”
Abby playfully punched him in the side. “You behave yourself, husband. Don’t go scaring her off already.”
“Me?”
Carrie grabbed the baby seat and Chase gave her a questioning raise of his eyebrow.
Abby whispered in his ear, “I’ll explain later and no, you aren’t an uncle, at least not yet.”
He physically relaxed and Carrie felt heat fuse her cheeks.
They showed her into the house, giving her Cole’s room for her and the baby. "Can I help you with anything?" Abby asked.
"No. I'm fine. I need a minute alone to kind of wrap my mind around this."
"Sure." Abby hugged her and then left the room. She took in his space as her gaze wandered around the room. It didn’t look very lived in—kind of like he was only there temporarily.
Just like at my house.
She walked to the bed and pulled the pillow to her face. It didn’t smell like him. It just smelled like laundry soap. She put her things in one of the empty dresser drawers, changed the baby, and walked back into the living room.
Abby and Chase were sitting on the couch, snuggled together, and she laid her head on his lap. Carrie sighed. She wanted that so badly. She ached for it.
Her heavy sigh brought the attention of the couple, and Abby sat up with a groan.
“Can we go to the hospital now? I need to see him.”
“Of course. Let’s get everyone packed in the truck and we’ll go. It’s not far.”
When they were all settled and on their way, Carrie asked, “Why did he come home anyway? He was just at my house the night before.” She remembered the argument they had and how she told him to leave while pain ripped across her heart.
“I called him. Our mother had a stroke, and he came home to be here for her.”
“Oh, my. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
“It’s okay. She’s doing much better although she is upset that he is there now.”
“I can only imagine,” Carrie whispered.
They rolled into the hospital parking lot and walked inside, headed for the elevator. The next floor up held the intensive care unit.
“You won’t be able to take the baby in there, but I’ll be happy to watch him for you.”
“Thanks, Abby.”
“Come with me. I’ll take you inside,” Chase said as he took her hand in his.
Her heart began to pound in terror. She wasn’t sure what she would find when she got inside, but she was scared.
What if he never recovers? Will he even want to see me?
“You have to be prepared, Carrie. He’s on a ventilator to help him breathe. One of his lungs collapsed and he has chest tubes in. There are lots of tubes and wires, but remember, he is doing okay—for now.”
A sob slipped from between her lips.
A ventilator? Oh my God!
They walked together toward the glass door. Chase put his arm around her shoulder, and she was thankful for his support. As she stepped into the room, she could hear the beeping of the machine and see all the tubes and wires coming out of his body. It didn’t even look like him.
It’s a mistake! It has to be!
“It’s okay, Carrie.”
Chase walked with her to Cole’s side, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She took his hand in hers right before she felt a chair touch the back of her legs before Chase forced her to sit down.
“They say people in a coma can hear when you talk to them. Talk, Carrie. He needs to know you’re here.”
She choked back a sob and brought his hand to her cheek.
“Cole?” She looked up at his face as she ran her hand up his arm. His long lashes lay softly against his cheek, shielding his piercing blue eyes from her. The tube coming from his mouth scared her, but she could feel his heartbeat against her palm and see it on the screen above his head. He was still so warm even if his hand lay flaccid in hers. “It’s me, Carrie. Abby called me and told me you were here. I had to come.” A sob left her lips. “I just can’t leave you alone for a minute, can I? Always in trouble.” Smiling softly, she said, “I brought Robert with me. I can’t bring him in here, though. I know you would like to see him, but you will have to get better so you can.”
Someone behind them cleared their throat. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours are over.”
“Okay,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving the man in the bed. “I’ll be back in the morning. I’m staying with Chase and Abby. I’ll be here as long as you need me to be.”
She stood up and leaned over the bed, placing a small kiss to his cheek while tears rolled down her face.
“I need you so much. Don’t leave me, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Abby insisted Carrie let her take the baby and take care of him for the night while she got some sleep. Carrie stretched her muscles, her arms over her head, trying to relieve the aches and pains that she was beginning to think were a permanent part of her.