Grabbing her robe, she slipped it on and cinched it tight at her waist. The smell of coffee and bacon reached her nose, making her mouth water, and she realized she hadn’t eaten since the day before at lunch.
She walked into the living room to find Abby sitting on the couch, feeding the baby a bottle while Chase cooked breakfast. She had to smile. Obviously their mother made sure her sons knew how to cook.
“Well, good morning. Sleep well?” Abby asked.
“It was heavenly. I hope he wasn’t too much trouble for you last night.”
“Of course not. He is an angel,” Abby said, snuggling the precious little bundle to her and moving toward the table.
Abby didn’t see the surprised expression her husband’s face from the kitchen, and Carrie almost burst out laughing. Obviously Chase didn’t share the sentiment.
“Would you like some coffee?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Chase poured her a cup and one for Abby, setting them on the dining room table. “Breakfast will be ready in a bit.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” Abby said while Chase nibbled at her neck for a moment before returning to the food. Carrie dropped her gaze from the affectionate display, and her heart clenched when she wondered if Cole would ever do that to her again.
“Let me go change him really fast. Carrie, why don’t you go ahead and eat. I’m sure you are anxious to get back to the hospital.”
“Yeah—actually I am.”
Abby flashed a secretive smile before heading for what Carrie assumed was their bedroom.
Taking a seat at the table, her gaze shifted to the man in the kitchen. Family meant everything to her these days and she wanted to meet all of Cole's siblings and get to know them. It would be interesting to see how different the brothers were from each other.
Getting involved with his family isn’t conducive to keeping my heart from shattering.
She frowned.
Who am I kidding, anyway? I can’t but help being in love with that stubborn man lying in the bed at the hospital, but the question is, am I going to let him hurt me?
Abby returned a few minutes later, placed the baby in his seat while he drifted off to sleep and sat down to eat her own breakfast. She took Carrie’s hand in hers for a moment. “Don’t let him walk away, Carrie. He cares about you, even if he won’t admit it.”
“What? How did you…?”
Chase chuckled from her side when he placed the plate in front of Abby. “You’ll get used to it. She does that all the time.” He put his hand on Abby’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
Carrie’s gaze ricocheted to the doorway when another very handsome man moved into the living room. She tilted her head slightly while she took in the fact that he wore no shirt and only a pair of Wranglers that hugged his muscular thighs like a second skin. His broad chest had a smattering of brown hair displayed across the finely sculpted muscles that only came from hard, physical labor. She followed the fine line of hair until it disappeared into the waistband of the jeans, which rode on his hips.
She blushed when her eyes met his, and he cocked an eyebrow in her direction before a small smile swept across his lips. It was one of those smiles whispering he was all virile male and knew she watched him.
“It’s about time you got up,” Chase shot over his shoulder.
“I’ve been up for a while now.” The deep, gravelly voice made the hair on her arms stand up. “You know me. I’m usually up with the chickens. Besides, I heard the strangest noise most of the night—a baby crying off and on.”
“Sorry. I tried keeping him quiet,” Abby replied.
“No big deal, Abby. It’s not a sound I expected to hear, knowing you still have several months before you deliver.”
His gaze connected with Carrie’s again before it traveled from her head to her toes. Once he was finished with his once over, he walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. He turned and braced against the counter top before he brought the cup to his lips, watching her over the rim.
“Sorry. I guess I should introduce you two. Justin, this is Carrie Marsh. She’s a…uh…friend of Cole’s. Carrie, this is my older brother Justin.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” she managed to say without too much difficulty although she thought her voice sounded rather low and whispery.
“Likewise.” He smiled, flashing the same dimples that were evident in all three brothers.
“Sorry about the baby. Abby offered to help me with him.”
With a questioning cock of his eyebrow he said, “He’s yours?”
“Yes…I mean, no, not really.” He shot a confused look at Chase and she could almost see the wheels spinning. “He’s my nephew, but I’m responsible for him now.”
“Ah. Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it.”
“It’s okay. We always get that reaction, especially when people know Cole and I are friends. They immediately think Cole is the father.”
He took the plate of food from Chase and slipped onto the seat next to her. “So, Carrie Marsh, what brings you to Laramie?”
“Your brother.”
* * * *
An hour later found Carrie standing in the doorway of Cole's room. Chewing her bottom lip, she slowly approached his side and pulled up a chair. Taking his hand in hers, she ran her fingers over the top for a moment.
“I don’t know if you can hear me or not.” She looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears. “I wanted you to know I’m here though.” She scooted closer. “I’m sorry things ended the way they did the other night. I should never have made you leave, but I’m scared, Cole. Here you are in this bed, and I don’t know if you are going to be okay or not.” Hot tears rolled down her cheeks, dropping onto the top of his hand. “What am I going to do if I lose you too? I can’t do that again, Cole, I just can’t. It was easier for me to push you away than to let you hurt me by leaving.”
A sob shook her frame when she rested his hand against her cheek. “I can’t fight what I feel anymore. If it means opening myself up for you to hurt me, then I guess that’s what happens. I pray that you don’t, and I pray hard that God doesn’t take you from me like he took my parents and Jess. I don’t think I could bear it if you left me too.” She stood up and kissed him softly on the cheek before she whispered in his ear. “I love you.”
Startled, she looked up. His eyes were still closed, and the machine still breathed for him, but she was sure she felt the small brush of his fingers as they moved against her hand. A soft smile flittered across her lips, and she kissed him again.
“I better go now. I know your family wants to come in for a little bit. I’ll see you later today.”
Slipping from his side, she took one last look before she slowly walked out to the waiting area where she left Chase and Abby. She was startled to see a very elegant lady and one mildly haggard gentleman sitting next to the other couple as well as one twenty- something young woman with a little girl tucked to her side. Her heart sped up as Chase stood and reached her side, pulling her along until she came to stand near them.
“Carrie, I’d like you to meet someone. These are our parents, Bonnie and Charles Wilder—and those two there are our sister, Jamie, and my niece, Samantha.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
This is who your father came to see all those years in Laramie. This is the woman your mother hated and cursed with every breath she took until the day she died.
“Mom—Dad, this is Carrie Marsh. She’s a friend of Cole’s.”
The two older people exchanged a strange look before their gazes came back to her, and she wondered if they would reveal the connection of their families or keep their silence. “You are Josephine and Allen’s daughter?”
“Yes.”
Bonnie held out her hand, and Carrie was terrified to take it.
How can I be friendly to these two? This woman’s connection to my father was enough to almost tear my parent’s marriage in two, and now she wants to be friendly?
Bonnie frowned. “Is there something wrong, dear?”
“How could you?” She couldn’t keep it inside anymore. All the pain and grief her mother put on Carrie's shoulders, welled up inside her. All the disappointments from the missed birthdays and family gatherings because her father was in Laramie, spilled over in hot tears. “I don’t believe you!”
Chase and Justin stood and moved between the two women, protecting their mother.
“Carrie, you need to calm down. I know you are upset about Cole and…”
Her eyes shot up the two men. “She never told you, did she? Never told anyone, I’m sure. God help her if anyone in your nice little community found out she was an adulteress and having an illicit affair with a married man. Well, my mother told me.”
"That's enough, Carrie," Justin growled.
“I’m confused. I have no idea what you are talking about,” Bonnie answered, shock written all over her face.
“Allen Marsh! He came here several times each year. Even missed birthdays to be with you.” Her eyes ricocheted to the stately man next to her. “Did you know? Are any of your children even yours?” Realization hit her square in the face and she slumped in the chair. “Oh, God! I might have had sex with my brother.”
Bonnie wheeled the chair to her side. “Carrie, listen to me. Allen and I were never together as a couple. Charles and I were in love from high school, and Allen was our friend. He came here on several occasions to buy livestock and stayed because we were friends. He often talked about your mother. He loved her with all his heart, but she was so jealous she could never see his love for what it was, a gift.”
Carrie wasn’t sure whom to believe. The woman in front of her had sincerity written on her face and her mother wasn’t here to ask. “But she told me…”
“Your mother hated me. She knew how close Allen and I were, but I swear to you, I never felt anything for him except loving him like he was my brother.” Bonnie picked up her hand and held it tight. “I prayed so hard for so many nights that your mother would let go of the jealousy she harbored.” Bonnie placed her hand against Carrie’s cheek. “I wanted so much to be there for you and your sister when they died, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know she had burdened you with her hatred, but I knew I wouldn’t be welcome. I’m sorry I didn’t bury my misgivings and come to you.”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I don’t expect you to change your feelings for me overnight.”
"I'm sorry about what I said. I believed what my mother told me. I knew my father came here all the time for some reason, but he didn't divulge your relationship. The only thing I knew about you was what she told me."
Bonnie reached over and hugged her. "I never knew your mother and father didn't tell you and Jess about us. He talked about all of you so often, I felt like I knew you. He didn't want to cause Bonnie any more hurt. I would assume that's why he didn't mention our friendship." Bonnie smiled wistfully before she patted Carrie's hand and said, “Now, tell me how you know my Cole?”
A watery smile spread across her mouth beneath the tears. She laid out the story of how they met and what had happened between them over the last six months. When she told them of how she made him leave the other night, the same night Chase called him about Bonnie’s stroke, tears fell down her cheeks.
“You’ll have your chance. He’ll be okay now that you are here to help him,” Bonnie said, squeezing her hand.
“Excuse me,” an older gentleman in a long white lab coat approached from behind.
“Ah, Dr. Collier. How is Cole this morning?”
“He’s doing much better. I’m going to take him off the ventilator and I wanted to let you know.”
“That’s wonderful. When can we see him?”
“Soon. I’ll come back down when I know he’s able to breathe on his own without too much effort.”
“Thank you. We’ll wait right here.”
Carrie stood and began to pace.
What will he say when he wakes up? Will he be glad to see me or will be tell me to leave?
She rubbed her arms, trying to calm the nervous goose bumps that rose on her skin. She knew his family watched, wondering what was really between them, but she couldn’t say anything. Not yet. She had to talk to Cole first.
Two hours later, the doctor returned and told them they could go up and see him. Carrie followed behind the rest of his family, holding back as they reached the door to his room. The machine was gone, but he was still very pale while he lay there with his eyes closed until his mother said his name.
He slowly opened them to her voice. He turned toward her and smiled before he grimaced and groaned.
“Are you in pain?”
“Yeah, just a little.” His voice cracked like he hadn’t used it in a long time. “The chest tube is killing me, and my throat hurts some.”
“I’m sure they’ll give you something in a little bit.”
“Hey, little brother. You look like shit,” Chase stated from the doorway.
“Thanks, Chase. I could always count on you to cheer me up.”
They all laughed.
“I just can’t leave you and Chase alone, can I? Bad enough I have to keep Jamie in line. Always into something, all three of you,” Justin said as he shook his head.