When You're With Me (13 page)

Jude nodded. “Are you scared?”

“Scared? Never.” Ramon tossed the underwear across the room. “I’m game. Whatever you want, babe.”

Pink flushed across her cheeks. “Really?” A smile started at the corner of her mouth and widened. Genuine. Sweet. God, he loved her natural beauty.

“How do you want me, babe? Stretched in front of you? Posed like I’m thinking hard? Or maybe I could re-enact that ridiculous pose the professor put you in.”

Jude nibbled her fingernail. “I did have a pose sort of picked out.”

Ramon slid his arms around her body. He kissed her until they both couldn’t breathe. “Shape me. I’m yours.”

She licked her bottom lip. “Recline on the bed like you’re watching television.” Jude wriggled from his embrace and arranged the pillows. “Don’t look at me. Focus on the screen and hold still.”

He stretched out across the mattress as she’d instructed. Jude sat in the armchair to his right. She closed her eyes and took a long breath. He couldn’t smother the grin forming on his lips.

Each time her gaze strayed over his body, each time she studied him, the closer he felt to her. He shivered. It was like she saw through to his soul. Like she knew his secrets…and she didn’t mind them. His connection to her became deeper, more intimate. Jude shared her body through their lovemaking. When she created art, she shared her entire being down to her soul. Damn, she was sexy when she worked.

A furrow crinkled between her brows as she concentrated. When she pushed her hair from her eyes, a bit of charcoal smeared across her forehead.

Blood surged through his system at warp speed. He’d thought he liked women who were elegant and refined. Why did that smear send his senses reeling? Because she was real, honest and unabashed. His admiration for Jude grew in proportion to his erection. He ran his tongue around his dry mouth. “Sweet girl, I need a break.”

Jude tucked another lock of hair behind her ear, smearing charcoal across her cheek. “You can move. I’m done.”

Ramon slid to the edge of the bed and stretched. “Show me. I want to see how you see me.”

Jude blushed. The scarlet hue spread from her hairline to her breasts. She presented him with the sketch pad. “I see you like this.”

Ramon snaked an arm around her waist and studied the drawing. She had indeed captured him. The control in his eyes, the hard line of his muscles, the birthmark on his thigh and the jagged scar on his chest. He chuckled. She had given him dark hair, despite the ridiculous streaks dyed into the brown. He looked tired yet strong, conflicted yet sure. She’d captured Ramon as his true self…as Drew.

“Sweet girl, it’s amazing.” He placed the pad on the dresser. “Come here.”

Jude sat on his lap. Uncertainty clouded her blue eyes. Ramon cupped her face, rubbing his nose along her cheek. “I’ll tell you what’s just as amazing.”

She sucked in a ragged breath. Her fingers wound through his hair. “What?”

“You.”

She pulled away. Her lips parted on a small gasp. “Flatterer.”

Ramon nipped her bottom lip. “You’re mesmerising in the club, but you’re sexier when you’re creating.”

Jude stared deep into his eyes. She opened and closed her mouth like she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Talk to me, babe. I can see the wheels turning.”

Her gaze never wavered. “I love you.”

Shock thundered through his system. Sure, he’d wanted to hear those exact words from her from nearly the moment he’d met her. And now he couldn’t take what she offered. She’d fallen in love with Ramon. Not Drew.
Fuck
. “Come again?”

She shook her head and wriggled in his grasp. “Nothing.”

“Jude?”

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

She scampered under his arm and disappeared behind the bathroom door. Ramon raked his fingers through his hair. She loved him. His heart clenched. She’d made love to him because she’d followed her emotions. How was he going to get her to love the man behind the disguise?

“Sweet girl, come out and talk to me.”

Jude splashed water on her face once more to wash away the evidence of her disappointment. She’d told him she loved him and he’d acted like she hadn’t said anything. Some men weren’t good with emotions. Some men cared only about what they wanted. She couldn’t read him. Did he care or not? Or was he the type of guy who wanted nothing more than an afternoon fuck?

She studied her reflection in the mirror. Red-rimmed blue eyes, flushed cheeks, mussed hair and a very nude body formed the image. A lump lodged in her throat. She looked easy, like a tramp. Nothing like a woman with morals and self-esteem. Did Ramon see her in the same light? She had bared not only her body to him, but also her soul. Tears burned behind her eyelids and she gulped air. Time to walk out with dignity.

Jude twisted the knob and opened the door. Ramon stood on the other side with one hand propped on his hip and the other hand rubbing over his face. “Honey, I—”

She placed her index finger over his mouth. “Ramon, don’t.” Her heart ripped in half within her chest as she held firm to her pride. Jude scooted past him and grabbed her clothes from the floor. “I need to go.”

Ramon touched her shoulder. “Why?”

Jude tugged her jeans past her hips and yanked her T-shirt over her head. “I need air.” She edged past him and strode to the door.

“Jude?”

She froze.

“Honey, I’m not the type of man who can tell you he loves you. I’m not sure what love is. I refuse to sell you a line of bullshit.”
Until I’m sure I can give you what you need.

“I know.” With that reply, she walked stiff-shouldered into the hallway and down the corridor to the stairwell. As her bare feet moved over the worn carpet, Jude replayed her time with Ramon in her head. Tears burned her cheeks as they slid from her eyes. How could she have been so foolish as to think love would come after a few weeks? It wasn’t like she knew his life story—only bits and pieces. Why did her heart feel raw and exposed? Because she cared about the man. She loved him.

She burst through the door to her floor. A voice in the back of her mind nagged at her. Was he worth it? Was he really the man who deserved her heart and what was left of her virginity? True, she’d made a failed attempt at sex once with Neil McDaniel, but with Ramon it had been a transcending experience. He made her feel sexy, wanted and cherished. Why did those emotions seem so foolhardy now?

Because she loved him and always would.
I’d relive the whole relationship again in a heartbeat.

Jude stood before her door and rifled through her pockets. Damn, no keys. She puffed out a long breath and dropped her chin to her chest.
He’s got my keys and my purse.
She touched the peeling brass knob. The door creaked open and her blood ran cold. She dragged air into her lungs in an attempt to calm her frayed nerves.

Jude gave the door a shove, yet stayed in the hallway. “Hello?” Maybe she’d left the door ajar when she’d gone out in such a hurry the other day? She shook her head. No. Locking her door was second nature.

She scrubbed a shaky hand over her mouth and ventured a foot into the apartment. She flicked on the overhead light. The curtains to the lone window fluttered in the stiff breeze. Glass shards and the torn remnants of her clothing lay scattered all over the floor. Drawings flopped in between the piles of strewn pencils and drawing pads. Her blood thumped in her ears. She was a smart woman, but suddenly she felt like a fool. Being a stripper wasn’t worth it if she had none of her personal things to show for it. No art work, makeup, clothing…

She needed to get out. Now.

Jude forced her feet to move and ran into a solid object. She pounded her fists. The scent of pine and cigarettes curled around her brain. “Let me out of here!”

Thick fingers encircled her arms. “Jude, honey, it’s me.”

She knew that voice and that scent. Corey. She inched away from the hulking bouncer. “What are you doing here?” Jude smoothed the wrinkles in her T-shirt and cursed her vulnerable state. Her ire rose. “It’s gotta be way past midnight. Why are you outside my door? You live on the top floor next to Tiny.”

Corey smothered her in a hug. “I heard your scream, baby. You know I’ll come running when you yell.”

“She didn’t scream.”

Jude backed away from Corey. “Ramon?”

Ramon elbowed past the bouncer. “Are you hurt?”

She nodded. “I’m fine, but the apartment’s a mess.” Tears once again streamed down her cheeks. Why did she always seem to turn into a puddle of mush when Ramon came around? Because, despite the things he didn’t say, she cared about him. Yet, all he seemed to care about was who wanted to trash her apartment.

As if he sensed her inner turmoil, Ramon wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. He kissed the top of her head. “You’re safe now.” He spoke over his shoulder. “Call Tiny and tell him what happened.”

Corey huffed. “You don’t give orders, Decker. That’s my job. Besides, we call him Mr Balthazar.”

Ramon went rigid around her. Jude leant back within his embrace. “Corey, please? I’ll be fine until you get back.”

The bouncer snorted and stomped into the hallway.

Ramon folded his arms tight around her once more. “You’re coming home with me.” He stroked her hair. “I can’t risk losing you. Go back to my apartment and wait. I’ll make sure there’s no one here.”

Jude pushed away from him. “No. This is my home. I can take care of myself. Who do you think you are? The police? Tiny will decide how to proceed if he doesn’t know already. Really, I’ll be fine.” She knelt to right her tackle box and replace the scattered and broken conte crayons.

Ramon crouched next to her. He handed her some crushed charcoal pieces and said nothing. A lump formed in her throat. Where was she going to go? Tiny would probably want to check things out. He wielded absolute power and didn’t take kindly to people butting in.

Footsteps thumped behind her and Corey rushed back into the room. “Decker, you and I are supposed to clear the apartment. Ross is on his way.” He turned to Jude. “Balthazar wants you safe. He wants you to wait in my apartment with Andie. She’ll keep you company until I get this cleared up.”

She stood and braced her feet a shoulder’s width apart. “No.” Both men turned in tandem. “I refuse to leave my home.”

Corey folded his tattooed arms. “You can’t be here.”

Ramon dropped his head. “As much as I dislike this clown, I agree. You can’t be here.”

Tension filled the room. Corey glared at Ramon, while Ramon raked his fingers through his hair. As if to give everyone space, Ross knocked on the open door instead of walking in. “Corey, go to Mr Balthazar’s room and let him know I’ve arrived and then you’re free to go home. Mr Balthazar feels the situation is now under control.”

Corey nodded his head sharply. “I’m watching you, Jude. This isn’t over.”

Jude dropped her head into her hands. “I hope it is.”

Corey crossed the room and yanked her aside. “I want to help you.” His breath heated her ear, making her squirm. “He ain’t right, Jude. There’s something about him. He’s off.”

“Ramon’s a bouncer at the club, just like you.”

“No.”

Corey’s curt answer shocked her and sent shivers through her body. She brushed him back. “Go home. I’ll be fine. I always am.”

Corey jerked away from her and glared at Ramon. “Whatever.” He gave Ramon the finger and stalked out of the apartment.

Jude raked her fingers through her hair. “He’s infantile, but he’s loyal.” She glanced around the room. “And this is a certified disaster.” Her chin quivered and her resolve crumbled. “Who would do this, Ramon? Why?”

Tears rolled down her face, stinging her skin. She caught sight of Ramon’s clouded expression.
I can’t let him see me cry.
She turned away. “Never mind. Just go away.”

“No.”

Her voice cracked. “What?”

“I’ll fix this.”

Jude swallowed and dried her face. “How? You’re just a bouncer, not the police. Beyond that, you don’t love me, so you have no say in this situation.”

Ramon clenched his jaw. She must have hit a nerve and the small victory softened the severity of the moment. She shook her head, looking at the mess. “I’ll have to rework my portfolio.”

“Jude, you need to give me a chance. Please?” he whispered. “I can fix this.”

She fought the urge to buy into his plea. “I’d love to believe you.”

“This is a cluster fuck.” Ross took up the doorway. His brows knotted as he surveyed the damage. “You’re needed upstairs, Decker.”

“I’ll be right back,” Ramon said and shuffled past Ross.

Ross folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe. “Well, what happened?”

“My apartment’s been ransacked,” she groused. “I’ll be here until I’m fifty just cleaning it up. Look around. You can’t miss it.”

He crouched next to her. “Why don’t you find somewhere else to stay?”

“You, too?” She plopped down on her butt. “This is my home. What’s it with you men telling me where the hell I can stay?”

“Ramon is unattached and trustworthy. He will protect you.”