When You're With Me (9 page)

The muscles in his jaw began to clench and unclench. Had he finally found the woman who could help him move forward? He’d wanted her to know the truth, just not like this.

“I want to show you around.” Ramon wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. “You ever watched the sunset behind a pond?”

Jude pulled the jacket tighter around her body as they walked outside behind the house. “I’d like to.”

She was so damn beautiful he could hardly stand it. He couldn’t tell if she was cold or scared.

He longed to reach in and know what she thought. He felt her bristle slightly when they reached the grey wooden bench next to the pond. He wanted her to feel many things for him, but fear wasn’t on his list. Far from it. Why was she scared? What wasn’t she telling him? He’d give his life to keep her safe.

“Talk to me, sweet girl.” He sat down and propped his arms over the back of the bench, giving her freedom to move. “Tell me what’s on your mind.” His feet shuffled silently on the tufts of bottle-green grass. Ramon didn’t know how he could expect her to open up about the goings on at the club. He just wanted to help. It wasn’t the cop speaking. He was starting to care even more than he could begin to comprehend.

Her eyes met his. She had cool, consuming blue eyes that reminded him of serene pools. He wanted to tell her everything—his name, his occupation, his fear of snakes…

His desire to stretch her over the seat of his Harley and fuck her until she screamed his name three times over…

Jude chewed her bottom lip and picked at the cuff of his jacket. Her nails scarred the butter-soft surface. “Do you think I’m a prostitute because of where I work?” Her voice was small and choked. Her hands shook. “I know the rumours and I know what the other girls do. Tell me the truth.”

Ramon felt like she’d stabbed him in the heart. She’d cut him right to the bone with her blunt question. The orange glow of the setting sun silhouetted her body.

“I know you want sex.” She swayed back and forth, twisting her fingers. “I want to know how you feel and what you’re planning to do. I don’t see why you’re trying to make me feel like I belong. I’m nobody.”

“We’re here for you to rest.” He patted his thigh with his right hand and held his left hand open. “I wanted to see you because I like you. I never expected anything else. If we have a relationship, then wonderful—if not, no problem. I refuse to push you into doing anything you’re unsure of. And no, you’re not a nobody.”

No problem? No pushing? Leaving Jude alone would be a huge problem. One taste just wasn’t enough. To win her trust—and, ultimately, her heart—Ramon would wait forever. “Why don’t we talk? Just talk…about whatever’s on your mind.”

Worry etched Jude’s beautiful face, but he could see her body relax a bit more. Was she considering his suggestion or devising a plan to escape? “Promise?”

Ramon nodded “Cross my heart.”

Jude dropped onto the bench next to him. Her arms stayed tight against her body while her eyes scoped out the scene, never totally allowing herself a chance to breathe. “What do you want to know?”

Ramon propped one foot on his knee and toyed with his jeans cuff. “Why are you afraid of Tiny?”

“Because he’s not afraid to hurt people for sport. Slade wasn’t like the other guys. I think he was a cop. He carried himself differently, with more…stature. He cared about the girls and made a point to talk to all of us. When Tiny found out about him and Astra, he had a meltdown. We never saw Astra or Slade after that. I never heard what happened, other than they ran off to Vegas together. But… I doubt it.” She stared at the glittering water. Ripples shimmered light across her face. “I know—you probably think I should have a better job. I’ve heard the argument before.”

Ramon dropped his chin to his chest. More confirmation concerning Randy.
Fuck
. “I haven’t heard your rationale. Tell me.”

She chuckled. “I’m not the prettiest girl there. Goldie gets that award. I’m not the most coordinated either. That’s all Andie. So, for me, it all boils down to studio time.”

He hooked his fingers under her chin and closed the gap between them. “Look at me, sweet girl…please? Studio time for what?”

Her gaze vacillated between his eyes and his lips. “I’m studying to be an artist. I have about two months to go and I’ll have my degree in studio art—unless I have to miss a lot of classes. Finding the time some weeks, when Tiny’s being an asshole, is tough and I hate it.” She worried her bottom lip. “The best time to get into the studio is the early morning. No one’s around. Most students wait until late at night. I work the opposite so I can have time to myself, usually.”

Ramon slid his hand along her jaw, rubbing his thumb over the bone. “You could do more…” She looked away. He inched closer to her, cupping the back of her head. “But you’re doing what you need to in order to survive. No one can take that away from you.”

Her lips parted and her eyes widened. Ramon leant forward, not about to miss the opportunity. He swallowed her whimper. She wound her arms around his neck. He twined his fingers in her hair, savouring the silky texture.

Jude groaned. She straddled his lap and snuggled closer to him. “You love to surprise me, don’t you?”

“Among other things.” Ramon wrapped his arm around her waist. Blood pounded in his ears and surged to his groin. This woman would be the death of him and he welcomed the challenge. He wanted to taste her, drown in her. He needed to re-learn every inch of her.

Jude grasped his shoulders and hovered centimetres from his lips. “Take me in the house.”

Ramon nodded. “I want to make love to you, sweet girl. I want to feel you surrounding me.” She shifted to stand and he held her fast. “But I refuse to take advantage of you.”

She backed away a few more inches. Sadness clouded her blue eyes. “You won’t be.”

He pressed a kiss to her swollen lips. “You’re scared and don’t trust me enough. First, I’m going to show you what it’s like to be home.”

Chapter Five

A single table lamp illuminated the enormous room, giving it a cosy, intimate glow. A handful of photos and a couple of concert announcement prints hung on the bland sand-coloured walls, with a garish beer clock adding interest above the bay window. Otherwise, the bedroom was rather barren. He watched her and wondered what she thought. Was she displeased? He’d change anything to make her happy.

Ramon stopped at the foot of the king-sized bed. He could imagine her living with him and being completely happy. She looked perfect in his home. The farmhouse could be theirs…

He shook off the feeling of ease. She wasn’t his…yet. She might never be. He tried not to expect what couldn’t be, but the thought lingered. What if she was what he wanted—his missing piece? His gaze followed her. His entire being sought her touch.

Jude sat down on the edge of the bed. She glanced around the room. Her smile remained thin.

Ramon crossed the short distance, sat down and pulled her onto his lap. “Tell me what’s on your mind, sweet girl.” He cupped her cheek. Her light perfume continued to drive his senses wild.

Tell me you love me…

Whoa! Where’d that come from
? He bit back the goofy smile curling his lips.

She squirmed to get comfortable. His erection pressed against her backside with delicious tension. He had to get himself under control—no need to spook her further. Her lips parted and her eyes closed, sending a fresh wave of desire crashing through his body. If she kept that up, he’d be a goner.

Strike that—he was already on the ragged edge and in danger of going over.

Ramon tugged her close and brushed his lips to hers. He could feel her shiver again, this time with delight. Her sensuous moves made his craving surge. He pushed the kiss further, not wanting to break their connection. His tongue brushed past her lips and slid against her teeth, mimicking the rhythm of lovemaking.

At first, Jude fought him, but gradually opened. He swallowed her moan—proud that he could still produce such a reaction in a woman. They needed to go further—he wanted all of her.

Not yet.

As if she’d been shocked, she pulled back. “I thought we were going home. You said you wanted to wait.”

“This is my home. Where I really live and where Tiny isn’t watching every last thing I do.” Ramon smiled and chuckled. “Do you know how sexy you are?”

She shook her head. “You confuse me.”

“I can’t keep my hands to myself, but I promised to be a gentleman.” He brushed a lock of her hair from her eyes. His fingers trailed down the side of her face. She shivered. “You’re all I think about, sweet girl. How I want to kiss away your fears and protect you against the bastard that wants to control our lives. In a short time, you’ve become very important to me.”

Jude thumped his arm. “You say that to all the girls.”

Ramon wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. “Just the adorable ones. I don’t bring just anyone to meet my gramma.”

The blush ran from her collar to her hairline. “So, what do we do now?”

“We’ll find some cheesy movie on the television and get crumbs all over the bed. I promise.”

She cocked her head. “Yeah?”

He cupped her jaw again and feathered kisses from her earlobe to her lips. “You can use my chest as a pillow. I won’t even kick you out for snoring.”

Jude burst out laughing. “Deal.”

“One condition.”

“What’s that?”

Ramon covered his eyes with his hand and peeked through his fingers. “You’ll hold me during the scary parts. I’m a wuss in badass clothing.”

She bit her bottom lip, but giggles spilled forth. “I doubt that, but I could probably offer you some assistance.”

Ramon joined in her laughter and touched his forehead to hers. “My sweet girl.”

* * * *

Two hours and one bag of ranch chips later, Ramon flicked the television off. Jude sighed and snuggled closer to him. His gaze roamed along her prone body. She had every right to be asleep—she worked a crazy schedule in order to pay her bills and, with Tiny’s intrusions, worried herself into a frazzle.

He, on the other hand, was wide awake, although it was nearly two in the morning. He brushed the crumbs off his shirt and yanked the blanket from the end of the bed over their bodies.

Jude snuggled closer to him as though they did so every night and rested her head on his shoulder. She sighed and went still. His heart did flip-flops—could she love him? He stared at the stark white ceiling trying to digest the events of the past three days.

She trusts me.

His heart screamed love and his head vehemently ignored it. This encounter was only supposed to be
for her to recuperate after a long week. Then why did he want her to stick around in his life? Why take her to the farm and introduce her to his family?

Ramon stared at the ceiling. If Tiny kept tabs on her, then what did she have to hide? A niggling feeling in his gut wouldn’t calm. Was he putting Jude in danger by choosing her? Was she in on the drug trade at the club? He doubted she sold the packets, but there was that inside chance she could be lying.

Her hair tickled his jaw. Deep down in his gut, he knew she wasn’t in on the trade. Her involvement shouldn’t matter, but it did. Damn it. He cared about her. He cared too damn much. She made him laugh, think and burn with a white-hot passion he’d never known he possessed. And they hadn’t even made love yet.

Ramon wrestled with his feelings and thought about his former lovers and ex-wife. With Nat it had been love, hadn’t it? No, he’d wanted to be with her because she’d had the qualities of a stable mother. Theirs had been more of a tepid friendship than a sizzling love affair. Nat had felt sorry for him. She hadn’t wanted him to be alone so she’d given in for that miserable year.

What about Carlie? He’d thought he’d loved her…but had he really? Not in the least. They couldn’t stand to be in the same room together unless they were naked.

But Christ, this thing with Jude… It wasn’t even supposed to happen. Getting involved with someone while undercover…

He was so fucked.

Ramon tucked his free arm behind his head then kissed the top of Jude’s head. Her silky hair tickled his cheek once again and her light scent danced in his brain. She draped her jean-clad leg across his. Her breath was light and warm against his skin. His heart leapt. Even in sleep, she had the ability to turn him inside out. And they had yet to make love… Damn, thinking about sex with Jude gave him a boner.

What made her ‘the one’?

He wanted to adore and protect Jude. He craved her love in return. How could he show her how desperately he needed her to need him? Jude was the type of woman he could be with forever. She was his ideal vision of the mother of his children.

Would she agree?

Because of the early hour and his lack of sleep, irrational thoughts entered his head and wreaked havoc with his common sense. What if she only wanted him as a means to escape the wrath of Tiny? What if she figured out he wasn’t just a bouncer? She wouldn’t use him to escape punishment, would she?
What if…?

He looked at the clock.

Two-nineteen in the morning.