When You're With Me (17 page)

“And that makes me a cop?”

“No. Nosy maybe…observant and cautious.”

“There’s something else going on here. Tell me.”

“I feel safe with you, like I can tell you anything, but I’m scared it’s coming back to bite me in the ass. Corey… He’s Tiny’s right-hand man. If he thinks something is hinky, he’ll…”

“Turn us in?” Ramon slid off the bed and stood before her. Corey would have to be the chink in the armour. Fine. “He can’t touch you. I won’t let him.”

She nodded and stared off to the side as she snatched her sleep shirt from the end of the bed. “I just wanted a normal life. I don’t want to keep taking my clothes off for men, skirting illegal shit and putting myself in danger.” She yanked the cotton shirt over her head and stuck her arms through the sleeves. When she stood, she removed the towel. “I want a stable life with a guy who cares about me in a little house where I’m safe and cherished.”

Ramon took the towel from her hands and tossed it onto the armchair. “Let’s rest. It’s been a long night.”

Shoulders slumped, Jude climbed into bed. She kept her back to him and snuggled under the sheets.

He tore his shirt up over his head and shucked his jeans. The look on her face before she turned away from him ripped his heart into shreds. He eased down beside her. “Come here, please?”

She didn’t jump when he asked. Instead, she made him wait. Jude’s eyes shimmered in the low light.

“What if I could make some of your dreams come true?”

“How?”

He wrapped her in his arms. “If you could decorate the farmhouse any way you wanted, how would you?”

“This isn’t your house.”

“Gramma lives with me, but she signed it over to me about five years ago. So, decorate for me. What would our room look like?”

Jude curled against him, nice and tight. She twined her leg with his. “Blue walls.”

“Yeah? Navy or pale?”

“Dark with white trim. I’d put a mirror over the headboard and make sure the furniture matched.”

“You don’t like my early bachelor look?”

She giggled and her breath fanned over his chest. “I’ve always wanted a sleigh bed, lace curtains and a view of the sunset.”

He buried his nose in her hair, breathing deeply of her essence. A sleigh bed had definite possibilities. Lace wasn’t his style, but making her happy seemed to suit him at every turn. “Would you live here with me?”

“I’d go anywhere with you,” she murmured. Her body sagged against his as she drifted to sleep. Her hand fell slack on his chest.

Ramon closed his eyes. She might not be awake to hear his grand confession, but he couldn’t hold back any longer. “My name is Drew. I’m a cop, I’m in love with you…and I’m about to lose you.”

Instead of the weight lifting from his shoulders, it settled down heavier than before. Tears burned behind his eyelids. He wasn’t sure who would hear his prayer, so long as someone cared.
Just don’t let me fuck it up when she walks.

Chapter Nine

Ramon stared at the streak of sunlight arched across the ceiling. In the twenty years he’d lived in the farmhouse, he could’ve sworn he’d never seen the light arc in such a fashion. Looking at it almost made him want to draw again. Being with Jude nudged him towards going back to his hobby. When was the last time he’d put pencil to paper?

He grinned. The last time he’d indulged in drawing had been the quick sketch he’d made of her at the police station during the initial briefing. Had it been a sign? Perhaps.

Jude sighed next to him and pressed her ass into his hip. The action both infuriated and intoxicated him. Too many nights of sleeping alone made him long for the fullness of the bed, while the gentle nudging reminded him of all he cared about when he held her in his arms. A feeling he could easily lose if she found out his truths. A crazy thought popped into his head. They had all afternoon and all the privacy in the world at the farmhouse. If he wanted more than a fleeting memory…

“You’re thinking really hard.” Jude giggled, her back to him. “About what?”

“How can you tell?”

She flopped over onto his stomach, pressing her chin into his sternum. “Green smoke filling the room. When you think, green smoke comes out your ears.”

He hitched her sleep shirt up over her hips and palmed her ass. “Tell me what I’m thinking about, if you’re so slick.”

“I am slick.” She wriggled, capturing his erection between her damp thighs. “From the tent pole, I’d say you’re thinking about sex.”

“Possibly later, but not yet. I have a question. You pose for your classes, right?”

She folded her hands under her chin. “You saw me, so that’s a yes.”

Duh. He laughed to cover his embarrassment. He’d walked in on her being pawed by the frat boy and the moment still rubbed him raw. He shook off the useless frustration. “Will you pose for me? I’ll let you work on your project when we’re done.”

Jude rose up to a sitting position and whipped her sleep shirt up over her head. “I’d love to. I know you’ll respect me when it’s over.”

He’d always respect her. “Wear my dress shirt.”

Her eyes flickered with mischief and interest. “I didn’t think you wore formal clothes.”

He nodded to the closet. “Grab one of the pinstripe ones and leave it unbuttoned. I want a hint of mystery mixed with innocence and sexuality.”

She glanced over her shoulder. “You don’t demand much, do you?” Jude removed a shirt from the hanger and draped it across her shoulders. Her eyes closed as she ran her fingers down the line of buttons. “So soft.”

Ramon stood and crossed the room. Seeing her in the dark fabric, wrapped up in the real Drew, pushed his emotions farther into uncharted territory. He’d loved before, but never as much as he cared for her.

“Here.” Ramon arranged her beside the French door. “Okay?”

Jude nodded. Ramon grabbed the sketchbook and a pencil. He visually caressed her body, memorising every curve and plane. Each line, each mark, brought him closer to her and closer to admitting the truth. Once the operation ended, he’d have to make a choice—if he followed his heart, he’d have her forever. If he followed the rules of the job, he’d be alone for the rest of his life. The corners of his eyes burned as he finished the sketch. Letting her go would certainly be the death of him. He forced a smile to his face. “Come here.” He smoothed his hand over the page. “Do you like?”

Jude plopped down next to him. She clasped her hands in front of her mouth as if she needed to pray or hide her own smile. “I love it. You should get a degree. You have serious talent.”

He shrugged. “No patience. I’d rather doodle.”

She dropped onto the bed next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “If that’s a doodle, I’d be willing to bet a concentrated effort would knock my socks off.”

“You aren’t wearing socks.”

She thumped his arms. “You knew what I meant. You’d be fantastic.”

“I’ll leave fantastic to you.” He tossed the drawing pad on the nightstand. “Let me hold you.”

Jude stood. She wriggled out of the shirt, letting it slide down her arms.

“Stop.”

She froze. “Why?”

“You look too good in my shirt to strip you naked. Downright sexy.”

Jude wrapped the shirt around her body and climbed into bed next to him. “I have a question for you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Are you a cop?”

He clenched his teeth. “What?”

She rubbed her cheek against his collarbone. “Corey warned me while you danced with Miranda. He claims Tiny’s one step ahead of you.”

Ramon listened as she recalled the conversation. A dull ache grew behind his eyes. Damn it. Corey had to be a little deeper into the system than he’d assumed and evidently wasn’t as stupid as he acted. Probably not as high on coke as they’d assumed, too.
Shit, shit, shit
.

“I just want the truth, Ramon.”

He drew a deep breath, slow and low so she wouldn’t notice. “I’m a complicated man. I want what I can’t have and I’ve made mistakes in my life that I can’t correct.”

She swirled her fingers in his sprinkling of chest hair. “Like what? It can’t be worse than taking your clothes off for strangers. That’s mine.”

He chuckled. “That is your action to live down…or up to, depending on how you look at it. I think you’re doing fine.”

“So what do you want?”

“You. I want you, but, when you graduate, you’ll see I’m not worthy of you. You’ll move on. I can’t keep a free spirit chained because I can’t let go.”

She crawled onto his chest and kissed him hard. “I wasn’t kidding.”

He sipped her, tasting the evidence of their lovemaking on her tongue. “About what, sweet girl?”

“I love you. Even if you don’t love me, I feel that way about you. I don’t regret a second of our time together.”

* * * *

“Can you grab the sepia contes for me?” Jude sat hunched over her drawing board, working furiously to finish her drawing. “I want to capture this light before we have to head to the club. It’s brilliant.”

Ramon looked in her tackle box packed full of art supplies. He preferred the simplicity of pencil and pen, but in her hand any art tool looked sexy. He grabbed the first container that said ‘sepia’ and ‘conte’. They all looked the same to him, so he handed her the ruddy brown crayons. “Are these correct?”

“Yep.”

“You push me around now, but, babe, I’m going to get mine when you’re done.” Ramon hadn’t really wanted to come back from the farm, but if they’d spent too much time away from the apartment building, no doubt, Tiny would have noticed and probably sent his rat Corey to call.

“Paybacks?” She snickered. “Like…?”

“You’ll see, but I’d bet you can guess.”

Ramon dug his hands into his pockets and glanced around to soak in the view from the balcony. Carrington Falls wasn’t a teaming urban metropolis like other large cities. He could only wonder about what she found so brilliant. To him, the landscape was bleak and industrial. Then again, the last two weeks had made him see lots of things in a different light. Like wanting to indulge in his hobby more often…well, his favourite one other than making love to Jude.

“Look at the way the sunlight bounces off that building.” Jude pointed to the old Carlson apartment complex. “The orangey glow is beautiful.”

Ramon directed his gaze to the structure in question and then at her drawing. She’d caught the building and the play of light perfectly. “That’s amazing.”

“I know,” Jude replied with a sigh and brushed away a loose strand of hair. “Being on this side of the building, I bet all your sunsets are fantastic. I got to look at a brick wall.”

“I meant your drawing.” Ramon rubbed her shoulders. He smiled. While he thought about kissing her senseless, she worried about sunsets. For Jude, he’d happily learn to pay attention to simple things like the colours of the leaves and the way her skin broke out in gooseflesh under his caress.

Ramon couldn’t keep his hands off her, not that Jude minded. “I’ve never spent a sunset out here. I wouldn’t know what they looked like. When we roll in, it’s usually pitch black out.”

Jude blew the dust away from her paper, hummed a few bars of a recent country hit, and added a few more details. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, it’s pretty.”

He marvelled at her intensity and focus. Jude worked full-throttle on her drawings like he did on an investigation. Her inner beauty shone as she created. Jude’s skin flushed and her eyes became bright. The way she curled around the drawing board stirred his libido and made him love her all the more.

“Have you considered doing portraits for a living? I’d bet you’d be great at capturing inner essence.” He rested his chin on her shoulder. “That drawing of me was fantastic. I think the smears add to the drama and show I’ve changed.”

“You can be real deep when you want to.” Jude furrowed her brows and turned to look at him. “I drew that a couple of months ago for a design class. We needed ‘the perfect model’, so I chose you. At the time, you were an enigma to me—so I could transpose whatever I wanted on to your…visage.” She wrinkled her nose, then brushed loose hairs away from her face and inadvertently smeared brown conte dust across her cheek. “Do you think this is ‘A’ material?”

Ramon nibbled her neck. “You caught the light perfectly,” he said and indulged on her naked flesh. ‘I’d give everything you do an ‘A’, but, then again, I’m biased.”

Jude arched her body, improving his access. “That doesn’t help much, but it makes me feel good.” She sighed and curled into his touch. “Real good.”

“I never lie,” he said between searing kisses. “I’ll always tell you the truth.”
When I can.

Jude sighed contentedly. “I have to put this away before I ruin it.”

Ramon reluctantly released her shoulder. He could chill out for homework.

She placed the drawing in her portfolio case and went back out to pick up her supplies. When she re-emerged from the balcony, Ramon closed the sliding door.

With the arch of one brow and a half-smile, Jude garnered his full attention. She put her hands on her hips, unintentionally arching her chest towards him. “What?”