Waiting for Midnight (5 page)

She and Kiera had both collapsed in their booth at the local Applebee’s and her entire body was begging for rest.

“I think we broke some sort of record today,” Kiera said.

Maddie nodded.  “I have to agree.  I don’t think we ever needed to use the entire backseat of your car because the trunk was too full.”

“How did we end up with so much more stuff?  I shop for the same people every year and so do you.”

Maddie made a noncommittal sound and was relieved when the waitress came over to get their drink order.  As soon as she was gone, Kiera pounced.

“It’s Sergeant Sexy!” she cried.  “You had more stuff to buy because you bought stuff for him!  What did you get?”

Whenever they went into a store, it was agreed upon that they’d get done faster if they split up.  Neither knew what the other was purchasing and it seemed like a good thing to Maddie earlier.  Now?  Not so much.

With a shrug she said, “Nothing much.  I picked out a few things for him and he asked if I would help him with his shopping.  So I said yes.”

“Oh…my…God.  Are you kidding me?”

“What?  What’s wrong with that?”

Kiera shook her head.  “So what’s going on with the two of you?  Is it getting serious?”

Their waitress came back with their drinks and then took their lunch order.  Maddie waited until she was gone before looking back at Kiera.  “Honestly?  I don’t know.  We spend every night together and we’re taking our time getting to know one another…”

“But…?” Kiera prompted.

“I don’t know.  It’s like…” She stopped and considered her words.  “It’s like he doesn’t want to know too much.  He doesn’t like to talk about anything deep and he doesn’t ask me a lot of questions.”

“The sheer amount of time you’re spending together tells me it’s more than a booty call,” Kiera began, “but maybe he’s just not one of those guys who enjoys a whole lot of talking.”

“Maybe.  I don’t know.  I wish…”

“Yeah, yeah…I know,” Kiera said.  “Me too.  But look at it this way, you’re well on your way to having a date for New Year’s!”

Maddie chuckled.  “I guess that’s something.”

“So did you buy him anything?   You know, as a gift?”

A blush crept up Maddie’s cheeks. 

Kiera laughed out loud.  “You did!”

“Oh God,” Maddie groaned and rested her head on the table. 

“Come on.  Now you definitely have to tell me!”

Peering up, Maddie rolled her eyes before sitting up.  “Okay, but you’re not allowed to make fun.”

Kiera made a cross over her heart as she picked up her glass of sweet tea and took a sip.

“I actually got him a bunch of stuff,” she began.  “He enjoys reading mysteries and thrillers so I grabbed the newest James Patterson book because I know he hasn’t read it yet.  Then I picked a couple of other titles I thought he’d like.”  She stopped and thought a little.  “I grabbed some clothes and a game for Xbox he mentioned wanting and…a watch.”

Kiera sat back in her seat and smiled.

“What?  What are you smiling about?”

“You’re really serious about this guy,” she said simply.  “What do you think he’s going to get you?”

“Oh…I have no idea.  I’m not expecting anything.” 
Liar.
  “If he’s not interested in shopping for his family, I greatly doubt he’s going to go out and buy me something.”

Kiera frowned.  “Then why buy him anything?  That’s going to be awkward, Maddie.”

Maybe.  “I’m not going to think about it,” she finally said.  “Besides, you know the motto – it’s better to give than receive.”

Maddie hoped she’d be able to pull off not looking disappointed should it actually work out that way.

Christmas was two weeks away and as Noah walked across the parking lot in the snow, he knew Maddie was going to be thrilled with their winter weather.  Tonight would – no doubt – be filled with talks of winter wonderlands and white Christmases. 

The thought of it actually made him smile.

If anyone would have told him he’d have a live tree set up in his apartment and a wreath on his front door, he would have laughed at them.  He stopped in his tracks and looked at the lights he and Maddie had hung outside this last weekend.  The place looked…festive.

Damn.

It wasn’t as if this was something new to him – Noah had grown up in a traditional home where all of the holidays were celebrated.  It wasn’t until he graduated high school and his parents divorced that he personally stopped celebrating.  They had taken all of the fun out of it with their constant bickering and putting Noah and his siblings in the middle.  Ironically, after he had enlisted in the Marines and had been gone a couple of years, they had reconciled and were now living happily in Oklahoma.

But he still found it difficult – almost painful – to be around them.  Some things you just never forget and their behavior during their separation was one of them.

This would be the first time in about a dozen years that Noah was actually feeling festive and was looking forward to all of the holiday trappings that went with the month of December.

And the fact that he would be doing all of it with Maddie was the main reason.

Yeah, he was going to have to sit down and have a serious talk with himself about what exactly it was that they were doing.  This was beyond what he normally did in a relationship and it was beyond casual. And frankly?  It was beginning to scare the crap out of him.  He was enjoying their time together – a lot – but he had a feeling if he didn’t put some sort of label on it soon, Maddie might start seeing this as something else.

Something more.

And he wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

Stepping onto the porch, he stomped the snow off of his boots and went to his door.  He wanted to change out of the suit he had to wear for a meeting today and into something more casual before going over to Maddie’s.

Once inside his apartment it hit him – they always spent the night at Maddie’s.  Never here.  Was it intentional?  Maybe.  Now that he was aware of it, did that mean he wanted to invite Maddie here tonight?

With a shake of his head, Noah stripped off his suit and tie and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  No.  It was a line he wasn’t ready to cross – this was his personal space and he liked it that way.  As it was, Maddie had convinced him to get a tree and hang a stocking – and afterwards he had taken her back down to her apartment and made love to her until dawn.

No.  His place needed to stay off limits.

Or he may never want her to leave.

Yeah, it was something that had been playing around in his mind – he was getting very comfortable with Maddie.  Almost too comfortable and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.  It was a completely new feeling and for the life of him, he didn’t know what to do.

His phone beeped and he looked down to see a text from Maddie.

                          
 
Dinner choices – Fettucine Alfredo or takeout.  Preference?

Noah let out a low chuckle.  They never went out anywhere – they weren’t technically dating.  Dinner together was something that just sort of started to happen and became a habit.  Maddie never asked to go out to eat or to a movie – she seemed content with the way things were.  Maybe he should surprise her and take her out.  The thought was immediately pushed aside when he remembered the snow coming down.

Sitting down on his sofa, he texted her back.

                          
 
It’s　snowing　out. 　Make　the　Alfredo　and　I’ll　bring　down　some　wine.

He waited for a moment and could almost imagine her running to the window to confirm it was snowing before responding.  Sure enough, a minute later she replied.

                          
 
OMG! 　I　can’t　believe　I　didn’t　notice　that! 　Come　down　when　

             　             　you’re　ready. 　We　can　have　hot　cocoa　with　dessert.

He knew she was going to be excited about the weather.  Noah was about to put the phone down when he re-read her message.  Dessert?  Hmm…

                          
 
What’s　for　dessert?

Knowing Maddie, she had baked brownies or cookies or something else that reminded her of Christmas – the list seemed to be endless.  When his phone beeped, he looked down at her response.

                          
 
Me.

He almost broke out in a sweat when all kinds of naughty images sprang to mind.  The woman had a way of doing that to him.  One word and suddenly he was hard as a rock and ready to haul her up in his arms and take her to bed.

Not really a bad thing, now was it?

Quickly pulling on socks and shoes, Noah immediately went to his kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine.  That was yet another new part of his life – he was drinking wine rather than beer.  Well, that wasn’t completely true – he still drank beer, but when he and Maddie had dinner, they tended to prefer wine.  It was something else for him to think about, but at another time.  Right now all he could think about was having Maddie for dessert.

He was about to walk out of the kitchen when he got an idea.  Walking over to the refrigerator, he pulled it open and scanned the meager contents.  He looked at the shelves and moved things around.  He smiled when he spotted his prize.  Whipped cream.  With his smile still in place, he shut the door, turned and shut off the kitchen light.  Maybe, just maybe, he could convince her to let them have dessert first.

Walking down to Maddie’s apartment, he knocked on the door.  He could use his key, but decided he liked waiting for her to invite him in.  When she opened the door, her smile seemed to grow when she saw what he was carrying.

“Great minds think alike,” she teased as he stepped inside.

And that’s when Noah spotted the cans – as in multiple – on her kitchen counter.  Kicking the door closed behind him, he put the wine down on the nearest surface before hauling Maddie over his shoulder and striding toward the bedroom.

****

“It’s too cold to go outside,” Maddie said from the bed hours later.  Noah was standing beside her fully dressed.

“So you put on a coat,” he said with a grin.  “Come on, the snow is really coming down out there.”

“Noah,” she whined playfully and swatted him with a pillow.

“You leave me no choice,” he said lightly as he walked across the room to her closet.  “I’ll pick out the clothes myself and dress you if I have to.”

“No!  Don’t go in there!” she cried, but it was too late.  There, stacked in the closet was her pile of Christmas presents for him.  She hadn’t placed them under the tree or let him see them because she didn’t want to freak him out.  Unfortunately, she couldn’t deny they were for him because they each had a comically large tag with his name on it.  “Noah…”

He stood completely still, looking down at the pile. 

Scrambling from the bed, Maddie quickly picked up her robe and put it on as she reached over and closed the closet door.  For a minute, she tried to gage Noah’s reaction – was he angry, upset or just flat-out uncomfortable with finding the gifts? They still hadn’t talked about exchanging presents with one another, but maybe this was a good thing.

She said his name and waited for him to look at her.  Going for the light and casual mood of minutes ago, Maddie smiled.  “You weren’t supposed to see those yet.  I promised Santa.”

He didn’t smile.

Okay, time for a different approach. 

“I know we didn’t talk about exchanging gifts, but while I was out shopping with Kiera, I picked up a few things.  It’s no big deal.”

When he finally looked at her, he wasn’t smiling.  “You need to take them back.”

“What?  Why?”

Noah shook his head.  “Maddie,” he began and sighed, “You…you just do.  I didn’t get anything for you.”

She almost sighed with relief.  “It’s okay.  I really wasn’t expecting anything,” she said with a small smile.  “I just wanted to get you something.  You know, it’s not about getting, it’s about giving.”

He shook his head again and stepped away from the closet.  “No.  You’re not understanding me.”

“What are you trying to say then?”  Maddie hated even having to ask because she knew it wasn’t going to be anything she wanted to hear.

“I can’t do this,” he finally said, his voice cold and distant.

Desperation was clawing at her, making her want to beg.  “Noah…”

He took another few steps away.  “You knew from the beginning I wasn’t looking for anything serious and this is suddenly getting…serious.”

“Because I bought you some Christmas presents?”

He nodded.  “That and…other things.  I knew I should have said something sooner but…”

Maddie held up a hand to stop him.  “Don’t…okay?  Just…don’t go there.”

“Where?” he asked, frowning.

She looked up at him sadly, “I don’t want you making up some kind of excuse.  I know why you didn’t say anything sooner – you were just having fun.  It was me who thought it was turning into something more.”  She sighed.  “I guess with the holidays and everything, I got caught up in it all.”

“Yeah.  I kind of did too,” he said lowly.  “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Maddie…”

She shook her head.  “It’s fine.  Really.  I think you should go.”

Part of her really expected him to argue.  But he didn’t.  Without moving, she waited until she heard the front door close before she even allowed herself to breathe. 

Wow, she thought.  Just…wow.  While she knew Noah was right, she had known from the get-go he didn’t really do relationships, Maddie had seriously thought he was changing.  The surly, grouchy man she met a year ago, was in no way, shape or form the same man she had been sleeping with.

Sleeping with.

That was basically all their relationship was.  At least to Noah.  It was like a kick in the gut.  Tugging her robe tightly around her, she walked out of the bedroom and immediately went and checked the lock on the front door and then bolted it.  Her heart squeezed painfully when she found the bottle of wine sitting on her coffee table.

They’d never even gotten around to having dinner.

Dessert had been an on-going event for hours.

Sadly, she picked up the bottle and carried it to the kitchen.  For a few minutes, she simply went through the motions of cleaning up before turning out all the lights and walking back to her bedroom.  If she had a guest room, she would have opted to sleep in there.  Unfortunately, she was stuck sleeping in the bed she and Noah had recently vacated.

It was too late to go through the hassle of stripping the bed and changing the sheets.  She was mentally and physically exhausted.  So for tonight, she’d have to deal with it.  “Don’t be an idiot,” she mumbled.  “It’s just a bed.  You slept in it for years before you met him and you’ll sleep in it for years now that he’s gone.”

Padding to her bathroom, she changed into a pair of pajamas before washing her face and brushing her teeth.  She felt numb.  It wasn’t until she climbed back into the bed and turned out the light that she finally allowed herself to cry. 

****

“You know you’re more than welcome to come and have Christmas dinner here,” Kiera said.

Maddie nodded.  “I know.”

“I’m serious,” Kiera said more firmly.  “You’ve been distant and vague for over a week now.  Christmas is three days away and you haven’t given me a firm answer.”

“You said it was an open invitation,” Maddie said with a shrug.  “That it was more of an open house, buffet sort of thing.  I didn’t think you needed a yes or no answer.”

“Normally I’d say I didn’t, but I’m worried about you.  I really want you to come and be with me and the family.  You know they’d love to see you.”

The thought made Maddie smile.  Kiera’s family had always welcomed her with open arms.  She’d lost count of how many holidays she had spent with them over the years.  “I really do appreciate the invite, but I think I’m just going to stay at home.  I’m lousy company.”

“Maddie…”

She shook her head.  “I can’t, okay?  I know you think I need to be out and socializing, but I’m not ready to.”

“Okay, I can respect that.  But do you think it’s really the best idea for you to be sitting at home with Noah so close by?”

There was the familiar sting of tears but she willed them away.  “He hasn’t been home in a while.  Pretty much since he walked out of my apartment.  For all I know he’s moved out.”

Kiera looked at her with a sad smile.  “I’m sure you would have noticed the moving van being that you haven’t gone out of the house much yourself.”

Maddie shrugged. “I’m out now.”

“Only because I came to your place and dragged you out!”