Waiting for Midnight (6 page)

“I think I’m allowed to have my pity-party,” Maddie said quietly.  “Like the holidays aren’t hard enough and then this had to go and happen.”

Reaching across the table, Kiera grabbed her hand and squeezed.  “I’m so sorry.  I really am.  I know how much you felt for him.  I hate that he didn’t realize all he had with you.”

“Me too,” she replied and felt one hot tear fall down her cheek followed by another.  She looked at Kiera.  “I think I’m just destined to have people walk away from me.”

“Oh, Maddie…honey, don’t say that!”

“Why not?” she asked sadly.  “It’s the truth.”

“Maddie…”

“Would you mind taking me home?  I really want to curl up and be by myself.”

Kiera stood and sighed softly.  “Of course.  Come on.”

Fifteen minutes later, Kiera was walking out of Maddie’s apartment.  She stood there in the frigid temperature contemplating what in the world she could possibly do to help her friend.  It just about broke her heart to see Maddie this way. 

With no real answer in sight, she walked toward her car.  She was almost there when another one pulled into the lot.

Noah’s.

“Perfect,” she said as she began to change direction and walk toward him.  She knew the instant he spotted her.  They’d never formally met, but that wasn’t going to stop her.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“Are you Noah?”

He nodded.

“That’s what I thought,” she said tightly, her hands going to her hips.  “I want you to know I think you are the worst – and I mean the
worst
– kind of human being.”

His eyes went wide for a brief second before he seemed to straighten – his expression going blank.  “Do I know you?”

Kiera shook her head.  “No.  You don’t,” she said defiantly.  “I’m Kiera - a friend of Maddie’s.”  She almost smiled when he seemed to pale.  “Personally, I’m glad she found out when she did that you were such a coward and a loser, but it pisses me off that you had to go and ruin her Christmas.”

For a minute he looked like he was going to bolt, but he stood his ground.  “That wasn’t my intention.”

“Oh, really?  So you were going to keep sleeping with her until after the holidays?  Was that your plan?”

“Look…there wasn’t any plan.  It wasn’t like that.  I like Maddie – a lot – but…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Kiera interrupted.  “Spare me.  She has a hard enough time with the holidays and you made it worse.”

He sighed and hung his head slightly.  “I’m sorry she lost her family, but…”

“She didn’t
lose
her family,” Kiera said, cutting him off once again.  “Maddie never
had
a family.  Her mom took off when she was a toddler, and she never knew who her dad was.  She grew up in foster care.”

“What?” Noah looked stricken even as he asked.

Kiera nodded.  “She was one of the kids who sort of got lost in the system.  She went from foster home to foster home but was never adopted.  She’s never had a family of her own,” she said sadly.  “Which is such a shame because she’s the kindest most loving person I’ve ever met.  I thought she had gotten better about her abandonment issues, but…” She shrugged.

Noah cursed under his breath.  “I had no idea.”

“Maybe you would have if you did more than drop your pants every time you were with her.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but instantly closed it.

“I knew from the start you weren’t good for her, but she didn’t believe me.  She always defended you – even when she didn’t really know you.”  She looked at him from head to toe with disgust.  “Personally, I wish she’d never tried to get to know you.   You broke her heart.  And her spirit.”

“I never meant…”

“Whatever.  Save it.  Just do everyone a favor and leave her alone.”  And then she walked away – feeling very proud of herself.

****

Noah watched as Kiera drove away.  He turned toward the apartment and immediately noticed that the Christmas lights weren’t on.  The building looked dark and unwelcoming.  He’d been gone on business for over a week – business he’d taken on himself – and it was the first time he was home since he’d walked out on Maddie.

With a weary sigh, he grabbed his suitcase from the trunk and walked up to the dark porch.  None of the Christmas decorations he and Maddie had set up were out.  Her wreath wasn’t on the door and her light up snowman was nowhere in sight.

He felt like the world’s biggest jerk.

For a minute he contemplated knocking on her door, but Kiera’s words played in his mind.  ‘
Just do everyone a favor and leave her alone
.’

With no other choice, he walked over to his door and let himself in.  He kicked off his shoes at the door before walking up the stairs.  Maddie had mentioned how she could hear his footsteps through the wall and right now, he didn’t want to do anything to disturb her.

Unlike the front porch, his apartment was still looking festive.  His live Christmas tree was looking a little worse for the wear from the lack of water while he was gone, but other than that, everything was just as he left it.

And now it felt like it was mocking him.

What the hell was he supposed to do?  Take it all down?  Throw it away?  Beg Maddie to take him back?

He had no idea. 

Until…he did.

Taking a minute to gather his thoughts, Noah walked across the room and placed his suitcase in his bedroom, and then went to the kitchen to get himself something to drink.  Then, with a sigh, he walked over to the sofa and pulled out his phone and went through his contacts until he found the number he needed. 

He listened as the phone on the other end rang, and then was answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mom, it’s Noah.  How are you?”

“Merry Christmas to me,” Maddie mumbled as she poured herself a bowl of cereal.   Granted, it was only Christmas Eve morning and even though she was spending the holiday alone, she did have a rather spectacular dinner planned for herself.

No need to be a total Scrooge.

It didn’t matter how depressed she was, Maddie was determined to make the holiday nice for herself.  So there would be Christmas music playing all day – softly – and even though it was dinner for one, she was planning on sitting in front of the TV and watching some classic Christmas specials.  With a collection of about twenty of them, Maddie figured she’d have enough to entertain her all through the night and well into tomorrow.

Kiera called her later on that morning and extended the invitation to dinner one more time.  Maddie really did appreciate it, but the thought of smiling and laughing and being around people was too exhausting to think about.

“So you’re going to stay home alone?” Kiera asked.

“Yup.”

“Please tell me you’re at least going to eat a decent dinner and not something in a plastic tray that cooks in the microwave.”

“As if I’d ever do that,” Maddie chuckled.  “No, I’ve actually got quite the menu planned for myself today and tomorrow.”

“Do tell!  My mom is making a turkey – which you know is going to be dry – and tomorrow my sister-in-law is making a vegan dinner.  So you may have company tomorrow night to beg for leftovers.”

“Kind of makes the whole alone-thing a little appealing, doesn’t it?”

“That depends – you still haven’t told me what you’re making,” Kiera said, laughing with her friend. 

“Tonight I am making myself an apricot glazed Cornish game hen with stuffing and asparagus…”

“Sounds yummy.”

“And I really splurged for tomorrow,” she began hesitantly.

“Ooo…sounds promising!”

“I’m making prime rib.”

“Wow!  You really did splurge!  I didn’t think you could get a prime rib for one.”

“You can’t, but I got the smallest one I could find and I figured I could plan on eating well the rest of the week.”

“Unless I come over and join you,” Kiera teased.  “Seriously, how could she do a vegan menu for Christmas?  I think it’s a great lifestyle for them, but they could at least put a little something out for the rest of us!”

Maddie laughed.  A full-bodied laugh.  It was the first time in weeks she’d found humor in anything.  "I'm sure you’ll survive,” she said.  “Eat a late lunch and make sure you contribute something decadent to dessert that can easily take your mind off of dinner.”

“Believe me, there is a huge pan of brownies baking right now that I’m taking with me.”

“Good girl.”

They were silent for a minute when Kiera finally spoke.  “Maddie?”

“Yeah?”

“I really hate that you’re there by yourself.”

Maddie sighed.  “I know, sweetie.  But…it’s not the end of the world.  I’m still being festive.  I’m just choosing to be festive alone and in my jammies.  I have all of my holiday movies and specials picked out and believe me, it’s not the worst Christmas I’ve ever spent.”

“Maddie…”

She knew Kiera was about to lecture her again about joining her family, but Maddie was in no mood for the pity.  “It’s okay, Kiera.  I promise.  I want you to go and have a great time and kiss everyone for me and wish them a Merry Christmas, okay?  Promise me.”

Kiera sighed.  “Fine.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow at some point.”

“Sounds like a plan.  Merry Christmas, Kiera.”

“Merry Christmas, Maddie.”

****

Her belly was full, the kitchen was clean and as Burl Ives wished everyone a holly, jolly Christmas, Maddie’s eyes began to droop.  Her arm felt like lead as she lifted it and used the remote to turn off the TV.  Standing and stretching, she slowly shuffled across the apartment – locking the door and shutting off the lights until she was in her bedroom.

Pulling back her comforter, she crawled into bed and sighed when her head hit the pillow.  It wasn’t such a bad night, she thought to herself.  Her dinner was good and all of her holiday specials still made her happy.  All in all, it was a good night.  Within minutes she was asleep.

Sometime later, a loud thumping sound woke her up.  Sitting straight up in bed, her heart pounded.  It sounded like it came from inside her apartment!  With a muffled curse, she slid from the bed and walked silently over to her closet where she kept a bat – it was her own version of a security system.

Carefully, she tiptoed to the door and peered out into the living room and noticed the lights on her tree were on.  She stepped out into the hallway and frowned because she knew she had unplugged the lights before the last special. 

Bat in hand, she walked slowly out into the living room and froze.

There were presents under the tree.  Piles of them!  Cautiously, she walked over to where she had hung her stocking – and it was full! 

“What in the world?” she whispered and turned on one of her lamps to get a better look around.  No one was there.  Her door was locked.  Shaking her head she said, “I have to be dreaming.  There’s no other way to explain this.”  Turning the light off, Maddie walked back to her bedroom and crawled into her bed.

There was no way she could fall asleep now.  Her mind raced.  Who was here and how did they get in and out so quietly?  Worse, what would she do if they came back? 

Maybe Kiera had done it, she thought.  “That has to be it,” she said with a sigh of relief.  She’d given her friend a spare key when she first moved in and no doubt Kiera was feeling bad for her and wanted to give her a little Christmas magic.  “Okay, glad I figured that out.”

Doing her best to get comfortable, Maddie tried to go back to sleep.  Glancing at her clock, she saw it was a little after four.  It was definitely too early to get up but just knowing that someone had been in her apartment – even if it was Kiera – made it difficult for her to relax.  Plus – you know – presents!

“This is ridiculous,” she murmured and kicked her blankets off.  With a huff, Maddie climbed from the bed and went back out to the living room and turned on the light.  Sitting down on the couch, she looked at the tree and all of the presents.  In all of her life she’d never seen so many presents under a tree – especially ones for her!

With a bit of hesitation, she reached out and picked one up.  There was a tag on it and all it said was “Maddie”.  It was a standard gift box and yet Maddie had no idea what to expect.  No one was there to witness her opening the presents but she felt guilty – as if she was supposed to be waiting for something or someone.

“Okay, now I’m just being silly.  If Kiera or…Santa brought these for me, they’re expecting me to open them!” 

So she began to open the first gift.  Tearing the paper off, she tossed it to the floor and took the lid off the box.  A smile crossed her face as she lifted the book from the box.  “101 Craft Ideas for Kids,” she said out loud.  Leave it to Kiera to remember how much time she was always spending looking for craft ideas for when she volunteered at the community center.

Placing the book on the sofa beside her, Maddie stood and went to the kitchen to get a trash bag for the wrapping paper.  Once there she decided to take a few minutes and make herself a cup of coffee – since she wasn’t going back to sleep, she might as well start her day.

A few minutes later, mug in hand, she walked back to the living room and nearly jumped when she heard a loud sound right outside her door.  It was locked and while normally she felt safe, right now – at this hour – she wasn’t quite so confident.  Quickly running to her room, she picked up her bat and went back toward the door and looked out the peep hole.

All of the twinkly lights she and Noah had put up were on and there was some kind of light coming from the entire porch area.  “This is getting too weird,” she said and slowly unlocked the door. 

And there on the front porch stood Noah.

Maddie froze and stared in confusion as Noah finished positioning a family of light-up snowmen on the porch.  “What are you doing?” she asked.

“It’s Christmas,” he said simply.  “But no one would know it by the look of our porch.”

“Clearly I’m still asleep,” she mumbled and went to go back inside and close the door.

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked.

Did she dare even try to explain her morning to him?  “Just…couldn’t sleep.”

He straightened and smiled at her.  “Is that coffee I smell?” 

Why couldn’t the ground open up and swallow her right now?  “Um…yeah.  I just made myself a cup.”

“Mind if I join you?  It’s kind of cold out here.”

Yeah.  Maddie had noticed that being she was in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a cami.  “Noah, I don’t think…”

“Come on,” he said softly, stepping in close.  “It’s Christmas morning.  One cup.”

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Maddie knew this wasn’t a good idea, but she had missed him so much, and he smelled so good that she simply took a step back and motioned for him to come inside.

“Wow,” he said, walking across the room.  “You must have been a very good girl this year.”  Looking over his shoulder, he winked at her.  “Mind if I pour myself a cup?”

She shook her head.  “That’s fine.  Help yourself.”  Rather than following him, she sat down on the sofa and picked up her cup of coffee.  “This is like a scene out of a Dickens movie.  None of this is really happening.”

Before she knew it, Noah was sitting beside her.  He’d shed his jacket and he placed his mug on the coffee table.  “So what did Santa bring you?”

She chuckled at the ridiculous question.  “I got a wonderful craft book,” she said and pointed to the box. 

“And what else?”

She shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I haven’t opened anything else.”

His eyes went wide.  “Seriously?  Look at all those gifts!  How could you not tear through them?”

“It’s too early!” she laughed.  “I felt guilty even opening the one!”

“Maddie, it’s what you do on Christmas – no matter what the time.  You open gifts!”  He reached over and pulled another box out from under the tree and handed it to her.  “Come on.  Open it.”

As much as Maddie loved having him sitting beside her, she forced herself to remember that he was the reason she was so miserable.  Taking the gift from his hands, she placed it on the coffee table.  “Thanks but…I’ll wait until later to open the rest,” she said quietly and reached for her coffee.  The mug was barely to her lips when Noah gently took it from her.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice soft.

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him what exactly he was sorry for, but it was too early in the morning for such a conversation.  So all she said was, “Okay.”

Noah’s shoulders sagged slightly.  “I’ve missed you, Maddie.  A lot.”

She had to stop him – had to make him not say anything else.  “It’s really too early for all of this, Noah.  I appreciate you making the porch look festive and everything but…I can’t do this with you.  Not now.  Not anymore.  Please.”  She went to reach for her mug again, but Noah’s hand on hers stopped her.

“I was wrong,” he said quickly, before Maddie could stop him.  “I…I didn’t know what to make of what was happening between us and I panicked.  I know I hurt you and that just about kills me.  You didn’t deserve that.”  He shook his head and held her hand a little tighter.  “I’m in love with you, Maddie.”

With a snort of disbelief, she pulled her hand away and stood up.  “Unbelievable,” she murmured as she turned away and began to pace.  “Look, I get it Noah.  I do.  Holidays are hard for some people.  It’s not necessary for you to come here and claim you’re in love with me.  If you’re lonely, I’m sorry.  But you know what?  I’m lonely too.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to be upbeat all the damn time?  I try; I really do and let me tell you, it’s exhausting.  It takes a lot of effort for me to get up and be happy and put a smile on my face at this time of year, because inside I’m dying.  I look around and I see everyone surrounded by their families and I’ve never had that!  So I rely on the kindness of my friends who graciously open their homes and their arms to me during the holidays and normally I pride myself on being willing to do the same.  But I can’t this time.  Not with you.”

She mentally cursed when tears blurred her vision.  Turning away, she swiped at them and nearly screamed when she felt Noah’s hands on her shoulders.  Slowly, he turned her around.

“But you have to,” he said, a small smile playing on his handsome face.

“Excuse me?” she asked with disbelief, her tears almost instantly drying.

“You have to,” he repeated. 

Stepping out of his grasp, Maddie crossed her arms and glared at him.  “Really?  And why is that?”

“It’s Christmas.  The season of forgiveness.  And besides, I’m begging.  Practically groveling.”  He took a step closer.  “I’ve been miserable without you.  I realized how dark my life was before you.  Then you showed me how good things could be – and I truly believe things could be even better.”

“Oh, really?”