Up In Flames (22 page)

Within a short time that seemed an eternity, the fire was under control and he breathed a sigh of relief. Just at that moment, Claire and Todd arrived, frantically searching for their family. He motioned them over to the ambulance where they were all huddled.

When Claire reached for the girls, Shane saw Jules recoil. The look on her face broke his heart. She thought this was her fault. She felt guilty and was afraid to face her sister. And it killed him to see her in agony.

He approached the group and put his arm around Jules’ shoulders, pulling her to him. He spoke to Claire and Todd. “Jules went back into the fire for the girls. I saw her. She pulled them out of their bedrooms. She saved your daughters."

Jules looked up at him, her eyes raining tears of something which touched him to the core. She might not accept him when he declared his love, but he could give her this. He could share the truth of her heroism, the truth which would never pass her own humble lips.

"Oh, Jules,” Claire cried. “Come here."

He ushered her towards her sister and watched them embrace. And before Jules could say anything to him, he turned, and went to join his men.

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"You sure you won't stay longer?” Jules asked. “There's lots of room."

"No,” said Claire, kissing her sister on the cheek while Todd strapped the girls into the car. “But thanks for letting us crash this past few days. Todd's family has been sick with worry and they're chomping at the bit for a chance to house us until our place is fixed up.” She smiled at Jules and at Shane behind her. “I appreciate both of you letting us stay. A family of five can certainly cramp one's style."

"You are welcome anytime,” Jules reiterated for the umpteenth time. “And I promise I won't charge you the regular B&B rates. I'll cut you a deal, seeing as you're my sister. I just can't promise you the deal will last forever.” She grinned at her own joke.

"Check her out,” Claire rolled her eyes at Shane. “Already the hardened businesswoman. Next thing you know, she'll be on TV, firing people."

Todd joined them. “Well, the girls are ready, and thanks to Auntie Jules’ many chocolates and stuffed toys this past week, I think they've just about forgotten that fire.” He gave Jules a big hug and shook Shane's hand.

"It's official,” said Jules. “I'm warning you now I'm going to spoil them the rest of their lives."

The sisters embraced again and Claire thanked Shane again. Then, Jules watched with Shane from the wraparound porch as the little family drove away.

After a few moments of easy silence, she turned to him. “What a crazy week, huh? I hope you didn't mind I invited them to stay for a while."

He grinned. “For the forty-seventh time, Jules, no.” He grabbed her hand and led her to the porch swing. “Sit with me for a while."

They sat and she waited for him to say something but he just continued to hold her hand and looked out towards the cornfields, swinging them gently. He'd been very mysterious the past few days, so quiet, but seemingly content. He hadn't said much, even when they were alone, but they weren't alone much with Claire's family filling up the house. She hadn't really minded, of course, but she still found herself wondering what Shane was thinking. He definitely had something on his mind.

A couple of times, she'd been tempted to just speak up and ask him, but had been afraid to break the happy spell which had fallen over the house. And so, she'd waited, knowing he would talk when he was ready. In the meantime, she bonded with Claire's family and watched Shane do the same. It tickled her to see him get on the floor and play with the twins, or sit his big frame down at a toy table and have tea with Ellie.

It had done more than tickle her. It had thrilled her, filled her with a soul-soothing warmth.

He'd also been so good sharing details about what happened with Gary. The psychologist attached to the case had unearthed the boy's history and it broke Jules’ heart. He'd been bullied at school, apparently for years, and his family didn't know what to do. It was one of the reasons he was sent to live with his grandparents for the summer, a chance for him to be distracted from his routine. It turned out the boy had demonstrated fire-starting tendencies years ago, and had even seen a therapist about it. In this, his senior year at high school, he'd hoped the bullying would stop but it hadn't. And when he saw Jules that day at the gas station, something had just snapped in him. He'd recalled the young woman who used to babysit him, remembered kindnesses from years ago. That had been enough to make him latch onto a grandiose scheme of wanting to save Jules from a fire. He'd thought it would alter the opinion his peers had of him.

Gary had confessed to sending the letters and to stalking her and Shane, as well as setting the other fires around town. As much as the details made Jules ill, she couldn't help hoping Gary got the help he needed. He'd shown true remorse, and she hoped the system wouldn't let him down.

And God only knew, Mr. Mitchell was threatening to tan Gary's hide if he didn't straighten up. The old guy had been mortified by his grandson's misguided actions.

Shane had taken a few days off work and it had been so nice having him around the house all day. He'd helped her paint and fix moldings and attend to the landscaping, and she'd had fun with him. He joked and smiled, and she didn't think she'd ever seen him look happier.

She'd never felt happier herself. Even though they hadn't touched each other once in that time.

But every so often over those few days, she'd catch him watching her. Saw his eyes dip appreciatively over her body. Saw his face split with the seductive grin she loved so much. Each time she saw it, her body would respond with a luscious, throbbing heat deep in her core

He still wanted her, and she knew she wanted him.

And yet there hadn't been a single kiss between them, not a single outward suggestion of lust. Instinctively, Jules knew something deeper was happening between her and Shane. And she was just fine letting it take its course.

She turned her eyes away from him and relaxed into the porch swing cushions.

When he did speak, she heard the regret in his tone. “You need to know about Alana."

No, thought Jules, not her. Not now, when everything is so nice. But instead, she heard herself say, “Okay."

He turned towards Jules, still caressing her hand in his lap. “I was a bad husband."

"I find that very hard to believe."

"No, it's true. Or, at least, I was bad at the end.” He took a deep breath. “I thought we wanted the same things. A house, a marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. And she told me that was what she wanted, too, at the beginning. We got married, and things were fine for a while. I guess we were happy, but it didn't take me long to realize it didn't feel like it was supposed to feel. I thought I'd be delirious with Alana, so in love. But something was just off."

"What happened?"

"One day, she told me she'd changed her mind. That she didn't want to be a married woman; she had more life to live. She wasn't ready to settle down after all."

Jules felt horrible for him. It wasn't the same situation as hers, but she found it easy to relate. “I'm sorry, Shane."

"It gets worse.” He lifted an eyebrow and sighed. “I started to get mad at her, resentful. I felt used, wasted. I'd given myself to her, and she didn't want me. It wasn't long before she told me she didn't want children either. That broke my heart. I wanted a family more than anything, wanted it with her. And it was being ripped out of my hands by a woman who didn't care anymore."

"How awful,” Jules whispered. Having seen how good Shane was with children, she could understand how crushed he would have been. “What did you do?"

"What I should have done was let her go. But I got angry, said some hateful things. We argued constantly at the end. She asked for a divorce and I refused out of spite. I was so bitter, I couldn't even see straight. And we just continued to live together in this pathetic sham of a marriage.” He swallowed. “And then, right before the fire, we had a terrible argument. I called her all sorts of names. Told her I wished she'd never existed.” Shane looked up at Jules, his eyes heavy. “That was the night she died. And I've never told another single soul about that argument, Jules. It's been eating me up for five years. I allowed myself to fall apart over a woman who didn't even love me. And I didn't love her anymore."

Jules froze. He didn't love Alana anymore at all.

"I think that was one of the reasons I went into firefighting as well. Not just because the men inspired me, but because of my guilt. I saw it as a way, however feeble, of making amends.” He stared down at her hand in his, stroked her knuckles with his thumb. “I felt such horrible guilt over losing her that way. I've been afraid to trust myself with women since. Afraid to love, afraid to get disappointed. Afraid to lose."

She drew closer to him, placed his hand around her waist, and put her hands on his face. “You haven't lost me, Shane."

He gazed at her, his eyes full of wonder and pain. “When I saw you in that fire, I thought I'd lost you. It almost killed me."

"Nah,” she joked through her tears, her heart bursting. “It'd take something much bigger than a little, old fire to tear me away from you."

Finally, after days of wondering and soul-searching on both their parts, he leaned in and kissed her. He pulled her tight against his chest, and she felt her nipples pebble against him. She swung one of her legs around and tangled it between his. He grabbed her thigh in one hand and cupped her face with his other, and explored her mouth with his tongue. Slowly. Sensually. Lovingly.

And when Shane stood and scooped her into his arms, asking her in an awed whisper if she'd come to his bedroom with him. Jules smiled.

"Oh, yes."

He carried her into his robin's egg blue bedroom, kissing her the whole way. Jules felt giddy, wild with hunger and wild with love. Shane wanted her still. Even though she was a neurotic sufferer of foot-in-mouth disease, he wanted her.

And she'd never felt hungrier, more famished for a man's touch on her body.

Shane placed her gently on the floor before his bed and cupped her cheeks. She was still crying, although it was more from joy now than pain. He bent down and kissed her tears away, licking at her cheeks softly. “No more tears,” he whispered. “I can't bear your tears. They tear me to shreds inside."

"It's okay,” she murmured. “I'm not sad. I promise. I'm happy.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the feel of him.

He nipped her earlobe and his hot breath sent a ripple of excitement down her spine. “I want to make you very happy. Right down to your toes."

"Well,” she giggled as his fingers traced a path down her side. “I'd say you're on your way!"

He leaned with her onto the bed, sliding over her, moving between her thighs and she welcomed him with a sigh. She knew this was where he should always be. Between her legs and in her heart. Nothing else felt quite as delicious.

He looked into her eyes, taking in every detail of her. He ran his thumb gently along her eyebrow, along her eyelash, seemingly absorbed in being able to touch her so softly. And then he spoke. “Jules. Sweetheart. I love you so much."

Any shadow of pain and uncertainty which still resided in Jules slipped away with his words. She felt only the most exquisite joy. She ran her fingers through his hair, wanting to be joined to this man, wanting his fire inside her and alongside her for life. “Oh, Shane. I love you, too."

She had no recollection of their clothes flying from their bodies. Had no memory of seeing shirts and shorts and underwear falling to the floor. Yet the first moment Shane's naked body touched hers again was a moment Jules knew would be burned into her memory bank forever. He felt heavy and strong and just right over top of her. When he moved, the friction of his male skin on her softer female skin was enough to make her eyes roll back in lush delight.

He moved a leg between hers and she groaned at the feel of his muscled, hairy thigh pressing into her sex. She was so wet for him. She was wet every time he so much as twitched an eyebrow in her direction.

"You feel so good.” He lowered his head to her breast. “And you taste even better."

As his hungry lips met with her nipple, she arched her back under him, wanting him to take more. Wanting him to have all of her at once. The heat of his mouth on her breast was excruciating, delicious torture and she wanted more. Wanted his tongue, wanted his teeth. Wanted him to brand her skin, to make her his in every possible way.

Fueled by the fire raging through her, Shane pulled her up so she was straddling his lap and held her close. Tickling her spine with his fingers, he brought his mouth to her breast again and suckled harder this time. He moved from nipple to nipple, grazing her with his teeth, nipping and sucking. And with each of her frenzied moans, he increased his tantalizing pressure on her breast.

When he reached a hand down between them to feel her moisture, Jules almost came undone. Grinning, Shane withdrew the fingers now fragranced with her female dew, and put the fingers in his mouth. She watched him lick her moisture from each finger. “You're so sweet, baby. So sweet."

She ground down onto his lap, needing to feel him against her. Desperate for him inside her. It had been so long since she'd felt him this way, it had seemed an eternity. But as she ground her sex into his lap, he smiled and pushed her back onto the bed.

"You're a persistent, little thing, aren't you, love?"

"Say that again,” she said as he slid over her.

"Love,” he murmured, his eyes fathomless. “I love you."

Feeling as if she could float to the sky, Jules smiled back. “I love you. And I want to hear it from you at least seventy-five times a day."

"Just seventy-five? Why not make it an even hundred? I love you,” he laughed, kissing her neck. “I love you.” He licked at the hollow of her throat. “I love you,” he breathed, as his lips danced across her collarbones.

She reached up and nipped at his shoulder. “That's only three, Gaskill. You have a ways to go."