Authors: Rosanna Leo
"Besides,” he continued, “like I told Jules, there are girls you marry and girls you don't. Jules is the marrying kind. She's the only one I ever said those three little words to."
"That must have been very comforting to her,” Shane replied, his fist clenching under the desk.
"Yeah, I know she's had it rough with her parents and all. I told her I was sorry, but the women ... how do you handle it, Captain? You must have them lining up for you too, huh?"
"I wouldn't know."
"No, eh? I don't know what it is, but the women in this town go crazy for firefighters. If you want it, you can get it every night."
Shane thought twice but decided to forge ahead with the question plaguing him. “So why did you stay with Jules? Why not just remain single and go crazy?"
Kevin grinned. “I would, but Jules is awesome! She always took care of me. She's sweet and sexy and really smart. She's just into the relationship thing too much."
"I think she was under the impression you two were committed to each other."
"We were, but once I passed the firefighter's entrance exam, other women started coming onto me. Women who would have brushed me off in the past were all of a sudden hot for me. This uniform is like a magnet some days and I was flattered. Jules doesn't get it."
Kevin expelled a huge breath as if happy to have gotten it all off his chest. He eyed his new captain warily once more. “Anyway, I don't mean to unload all my crap on you, but with you bunking at her place ... I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I'm not done with her."
"You're not ‘done’ with her?” Shane tried to keep the threat out of his voice.
"I mean, I've had a lot of time to think. I know I let her down, and she's made her point. But I'm getting tired of all the nameless girls throwing themselves at me. I think I'm ready to settle down."
"And you're worried I'll be in the way?"
"Something like that."
They stared at each other. Shane had begun his day trying desperately to get Jules out of his mind, and now he wanted nothing more than to gather her to him. He felt he needed to warn her, at the very least, that her Neanderthal ex-boyfriend was gunning for her again. Maybe he was the one who sent the note, too.
"Jules is a grown woman. I'm sure she makes her own decisions."
Kevin paled a little. “I just don't want anyone influencing her decisions."
"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."
Relieved, Kevin stood up. “Thanks, Captain. I knew if we spoke man-to-man you'd understand.” He left the office, a decided spring in his step.
Oh, I understand
, Shane thought,
I understand perfectly.
And if you think I'm going to let you anywhere near her, you have another thing coming.
"Let's get a drink into you, Jules."
That evening after work, Jules allowed Claire to take her out to Duffy's to drown her sorrows. Todd had been treating a sick horse on a farm near town, and decided to meet them at the pub. Jules had been disconsolate all day, calling Claire a couple of times to vent. Now, she winced and rubbed her temple as they walked to the pub. She had a headache which was growing progressively more painful each hour.
"So, you really stepped in it this time, huh?” Claire asked. “Did you at least apologize?"
"I did not,” Jules snapped. “He shouldn't have been goading me. I just feel badly for making the comment about the wedding ring."
"Yeah, that was pretty bad.” Claire admitted. “So Shane's a widower. How did he lose his wife?"
"I don't know. After we argued, he left. He was up early this morning, and I didn't see him.” She hung her head as she walked. “Oh, Claire, I feel horrible."
"That's because you like him."
"No.” Jules said it so quickly it didn't sound believable, even to her own ears. “He just has this strange quality. I don't know what it is, but it makes you want to gain his good opinion. And he made it very clear he thinks I'm a gullible moron."
Claire's face was deadpan. “You like him. And you're not a moron. Shane doesn't know the full story. He doesn't know how convincing Kevin can be. He had us all fooled."
"Especially me."
"So,” Claire mused, “our hunky captain had a wife. Did he tell you anything about her?"
"You know as much as I do.” She felt her head pounding and gave the bridge of her nose an aggressive rub.
Claire gave her sister's arm an affectionate squeeze. “Talk to him, Jules. Say you're sorry. Tell him you haven't been yourself since that idiot Kevin used you."
The familiar anger resurfaced. She growled, “Ain't it the truth."
They saw Todd coming towards them and met him at the pub door. “Come on,” Claire greeted her husband. “It's not often the sitter can stay the extra hour. If you buy your wife a rum and Coke, you might get lucky."
Jules rolled her eyes. “Get a room, you two."
"Don't be jealous. You've got a hot firefighter at home."
Jules pushed through the pub door, only to be greeted by the raucous sound of a group of men drinking. It was a familiar sound. She knew those voices. She'd heard them plenty of times down at the fire hall.
Kevin and his pals were engrossed in some silly, collegiate drinking game, but that didn't stop them from looking up as Jules’ group entered the pub. Jules stopped in her tracks briefly. Shane was there, sitting at the head of the table, his glass raised.
So he was becoming one of them after all.
All the eyes at the table of liars were trained on her. A couple of the men actually giggled at the scene before them. Kevin dared to wave hello, smiling his most genuine “aw shucks” smile, the one which used to produce butterflies in her stomach.
Shane seemed suddenly in a foul mood, frowning at Jules as if she bothered him to the extreme. She nodded at him, and he bit his lip as he nodded back.
Todd nudged Jules. “You wanna go somewhere else? Duffy's isn't the only pub in town."
"No.” She concentrated on keeping her head held high as she led them to a booth. “But it's my favorite pub, and I won't be scared from it.” They sat down, and she made sure her back was to the firefighter's table.
"Boy, you certainly made an impression on Shane. That is quite the look he is giving you,” Claire commented.
"I know, like he wants to throttle me."
"That's not the look I see,” her sister responded, eyebrows arched.
Before they had a chance to order, the waitress was already approaching their table with a chocolate martini on her tray. She delivered it to Jules as if she were part of a huge romantic conspiracy. “Someone thinks you're special."
Jules felt her cheeks burning as she stared at the martini. It was her favorite drink.
"Don't look now,” warned her sister. “He's on his way."
"Hi there, Claire, Todd. Hello Jules."
She turned in her seat to face Kevin, all the while conscious of Shane's stern expression at the other table. “I don't want your drink, Kevin."
"Come on, it's just a little drink, Jules. A peace offering. Don't tell me you lost your taste for chocolate martinis in six short months."
"No, I lost my taste for something else entirely."
"I deserved that,” he shrugged. “Can I join you guys?"
"I don't think it's a good idea,” Todd jumped in.
"Well, let's just ask Jules here,” Kevin persisted.
She glanced quickly back over at Shane. He had gone to the bar, and was ordering himself an orange juice, but his eyes hadn't left Jules. She had the urge to run and join him at the bar, but resisted it. This was the first time she'd seen him in his uniform. He looked good. Smoking hot, actually. He filled it out so well. As sexy as his jeans and T-shirts, just more authoritative.
If only he didn't look so disappointed in her.
A slow song began, its romantic saxophone line wailing from the speakers. “Damn,” Jules cursed under her breath.
"It's our song,” Kevin said softly. “Dance with me, for old times’ sake."
"I will not."
"Please."
Todd spoke up again. “Kevin, you heard her."
Frustrated, Kevin turned to the other man. “Isn't there a kitten up a tree somewhere needing rescuing?"
"I thought that was more your line of work."
"Well, we can discuss that outside, Doctor Dolittle."
"Kevin, what is wrong with you?” Jules shouted. She had jumped to her feet and had the attention of everyone in the bar, whether she liked it or not. She had hoped to keep her composure, but the flames of her anger were fanned as soon as she'd seen him in the bar, surrounded by his protectors.
Kevin looked mortified. What had begun as a baiting game had escalated, and he didn't appear prepared to deal with it in public. He lowered his voice. “Why don't we go talk somewhere?"
"Because I don't ever want to talk to you! Don't you get it? You are out of my life. You lost the right to talk to me, buddy!” She could feel her heart pounding. This was the moment she'd been waiting for, and dreading, all at the same time. She'd known the true confrontation would come, but hadn't counted on it being so public.
Oh well, she thought, like Shane said, maybe it will be good for my soul.
Over at the bar, Shane stood at attention and seemed ready to spirit her away if she gave him the signal. Still, there was a secret smile in his eyes, as if he were proud of her outburst.
She pulled herself up to her full height. Although she was tiny compared to Kevin's six feet, she tried her best to looked as regal as a queen in the moment. “I was a good girlfriend to you."
He actually hung his head. “I know."
"Then why did you betray me in such a horrible way? My parents were dead. They treated you like a son. You sat next to me at their funerals. Did that mean nothing to you?"
"It did. I guess I just wanted the best of both worlds."
"Well, you don't get it. We all pick what world we want to live in. I offered you my world, I offered you myself, and it wasn't enough. Do you really think my self-esteem is so low I'd take you back?"
"I just want to prove I've changed."
"I've changed too, and the new me doesn't like you anymore.” With that, she turned her back to Kevin and proceeded to the door. She heard whispers coming from the firefighters’ table as she passed, and decided to stop there.
The three firefighters who had lied to her time and again were there, and looked sheepish now that she was facing them. She took a good, long moment to look each of them in the eyes, and then spoke. “Don't think I don't know what each of you did. You're as pathetic as he is, maybe even worse. Because you all stayed silent, I got hurt. I would never have done that to any of you. You all make me sick. You're not worthy of your uniform."
With one last look at Shane, Jules was out of the bar before anyone could stop her. She tore into the street and walked aimlessly through town. Her breath was caught in her throat. She'd never spoken like that to anyone. Her heart was hurting, but a bigger part of her felt strangely unburdened. The sense of relief was quickly seeping through her whole system, and she prayed it would somehow wipe clean the cold slate which had been her heart.
After a few minutes of meandering, she found herself in the town square. The square had always been one of her favorite spots in Riverbend, with its pretty fountain nestled amongst the small shops. The town clock chimed and she sat at the stone bench near the fountain. As much as she liked it here, even this spot was tainted by her association with Kevin. How many times had she sat there on the same bench with him? How many women had he quietly checked out while sitting there with her?
Staring into the water, Jules realized she didn't ever want to know.
Shane watched for a second as Jules rifled through her pocket for something. She looked so small sitting at the fountain all by herself, so lonely. Nothing like the raging warrior she had been a few moments ago.
Man, if felt good to witness that.
Seeing her confront Kevin had brought such a smile to his face he'd had to hide it from the other firefighters. But when he saw her escape the pub, he'd known he couldn't leave her alone to her thoughts. She was probably beating herself up about it because she was too nice a person to feel vindicated.
And he didn't like the idea of her being alone since she'd received the threat. Even though the police hadn't found any incriminating evidence on the letter, something still told him not to let his guard down.
He saw her fish some change out of her pocket and watched as she tossed it into the fountain. In a way, Shane hoped her wish involved him, and toyed with the idea of tossing some pennies in, too.
He approached her quietly. “Let me guess. You're either wishing for world peace or for Kevin to spontaneously combust.” When she turned to face him, he made a goofy face and gave her a thumbs up, feeling elated when he made her giggle.
"Why, Captain, you read my mind."
He sat down next to her and glanced about the square. “This is a nice place."
"Yeah, it's all right. Full of memories, though."
"There's the thing about memories. The old ones grow fainter as you make new ones.” He looked at her, feeling as if he didn't want to take time to choose the right words. He just wanted to let his emotions spill from him. “By the way, you were pretty fantastic back at the bar. Like, raging Amazon warrior fantastic. If you'd had a sword in your hand, I would have been very afraid. How are you feeling?"
"Wobbly."
"You make me laugh, Jules. You were nowhere near wobbly back there."
"I might not have looked it, but I was wobbling all the same. Amazon or not.” She elbowed him in a conspiratorial fashion. “Believe it or not, despite what you've seen, I don't really like confrontation. I'm really very meek and mild."
She smiled at him and Shane felt a strange sensation in his gut. He knew that sensation. It was the same feeling he'd had when he first saw Jules arguing with Kevin. It was a need to protect her, a need to make her feel better. A need to make her feel good.
Really good.