Unspoken (15 page)

“Mar?” I heard Jackson said until I turned to look at him.

“Yeah?” I looked at him still disoriented from being on sucky life land.

“Are you ready?” he said showing me some form in front of him and I nodded “Ok,”. He got all formal all of a sudden and went on with the questions “What kind of responsibilities do you want your new employee to have?” Wow, this was recruiter Jackson. It was HOT!

“Jackson, it’s not necessary to go through all of that,” I said waving at the form he wanted to fill “I’ll just put up a HELP WANTED sign and we’ll interview,” I shrugged.

“No, Mar, you don’t want to have to hire someone just to fire them two days later and then having to start interviewing again. That’s a waste of time,” he said.

“Well, you are the specialist,” I said and shrugged.

“I am,” he said.

“Ok, I want someone that will let me and Alexa have a day off every now and then, I want someone that covers some shifts in the evening so I can go home and rest my feet,” I put my finger on my mouth and thought hard about what else I wanted.

“So, you want this
someone
to know how to bake,” he said looking straight at me.

“Yeah, I guess….or they could learn here,” I nodded.

“Do you have time to teach them?” He questioned.

“Hmm not much but I want to give someone the same opportunity that Ron gave me, you know?”

“I know,” he said scribbling something on the form, “you want them to be in the front as well?”

“Yes, that would be great,” I nodded and my hair flopped all over the place. I wasn’t having a great hair day and it was massive, red curls all over the place so much that I could clearly see it from the corner of my eye. I tried to put it up in a bun. Jackson put down the form he was filling.

“Don’t,” he said quickly before going back to the form. I dropped my hands and tried to focus on what we were saying and not in the mass of hair I could clearly see “so, you want someone that has experience in customer service, cashier and serving?”

“Oh,” I didn’t know and he sounded so professional. “Yes, I want that but they have to know how to serve coffee, all kinds of coffee actually, smoothies and so on.”

“You want a barista, then. Like a Starbucks barista? They do everything in there,” he kept his professional face.

“Yes, that, I’d love that.”

“Ok,” he nodded and kept on writing “I think I have everything I need for the interviews.”

“Jackson,” I heard Alexa from the counter, “make sure they are someone we all like because we’ll be stuck with them every day.” Jackson smiled and nodded.

“Now,” he turned to look at me, “you can put the sign up and when people start showing up you make them fill this applications,” he gives me a block of applications and I nodded. “We’ll go through them at the end of the week or when you feel you have too many,” I nodded again, “and that’s it,” he smiled,
We’re done.

“Wow, you impress me!” I said really excited, “Is this what you do?”

“At the beginning when I didn’t have many people at the company, I did. I’d meet with clients and do the exact same process I did with you.”

“Do you like it?” I asked really curious to see this side of him.

“I hate it,” he chuckles.

“Really?” I asked saddened.

“yes,” he shrugged, “but I hate being a lawyer more, so, I guess it’s ok.”

Wow, my poor Jackson, still so lost, still wandering through life. My heart broke a little for him. I reached out to grab his hand and he grabbed mine. We were dipping our finger in water, just for a little while.

Spring break was a couple of days away and I didn’t want to go into a funk. I didn’t know Jackson’s plans and I was afraid to ask Alexa if she knew anything. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to go somewhere, I didn’t care if he went to Cancun with all the flashing boobs this universe could provide, I care that he wasn’t with me.

“So,” I heard that tone in Alexa’s voice. She was sitting in a stool in one corner in Ron’s kitchen “Connor is coming home for spring break,” I nodded. A bit of hope came to life in my heart, I felt a tiny flutter that went from my stomach to my heart but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“He is renting a house,” I nodded again. Yeah that was typical behavior for some college kids around here. “Don’t you want to know if Jackson is coming?” she asked as she stole a cookie from a fresh batch. I shook my head no.

“Well, I don’t really know if he is, Connor is not telling me shit,” she shrugged and jumped down the stool. “Will I see you tonight?” she looked over my shoulder to see what I was working on.

“Yes, just text me the plans,” I saw her leave and I went to sit on the stool in the kitchen. I needed to stop thinking about him but it was so difficult, he was in everything I did and I just couldn’t stop.

A few hours later I was finishing my shift at the bakery and I was closing when right in front of the door I saw Jackson. He was here, maybe for just one night before he left somewhere else, maybe he was staying at the rented house with Connor, I didn’t know and I didn’t care at all because he’d come to see me and that was all I needed.

“Your ride awaits,” he said leaning against his car with his arms crossed and legs crossed at the ankles. He was smiling,
Come here.

I walked over to him and kissed him. He passed his hands around my waist and looked at me in the eye “You are beautiful, you know that?” I just smiled,
You make me feel beautiful.

“Good,” he put his hands in my hair like he used to all the time, kneading between the curls, enjoying its wildness.

“What’s the plan?” I asked him with my head on his chest enjoying this time together.

“We need to get you home so you can pack your clothes because we are staying at a house that Connor rented,” I looked up and smiled,
really?

“Yes,” he said, letting go of my hair and my waist, “so hop in. The sooner we get you home, the sooner we start our week,”.

He drove me home, for the first time since we met 9 months before; we had gone to gram’s several times and I had been to his pool house but we had never seen each other’s places.

“Wait for me in here,” I said as he parked. “I don’t want you to witness my mother’s wrath.”

“You’ve witnessed mine,” he said running his thumb across my cheek.

“Still, I rather you waited here,” I leaned on his hand.

“Fine,” he said as I got out of the car.

“Mom!” I said as soon as I opened the door to the house “Dad?” I said again “Anyone?” I needed anyone just to let them know that I wasn’t going to be staying there for a week. I decided to go to my room and start packing while I waited for them come home.

“What are you doing?” I jumped as I heard my mother’s voice.

“Mom! I think I peed my pants,” I said shaking my head as I went on packing.

“I asked you a question, Marion,” she was trying to be serious.

“Mom, the guys rented a house for spring break and they asked me to go,” I shook my head.

“Is that all?” she asked me raising an eyebrow.

“What else could it be?” I frowned.

“What about your job?” she had her hands on her waist and was tapping her foot.

“I’ll come every day, Mom, it’s not like we are going to LA,” I rolled my eyes.

“Ok,” she finally said.

“Ok??” I was stunned that she was giving up so easy.

“Yes, Marion, Ok,” she closed her eyes and sighed “I thought you were eloping,” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“What gave you that idea?” that was hilarious.

“I saw your friend outside and then I see you packing…,” Oh I could see where she got the idea.

“Don’t worry, mom,” I said closing my suitcase “I’ll be just around the corner,” I smiled and kissed her cheek and went back out.

“I saw your mother,” said Jackson after I leaned down to kiss him.

“I know,” I put on my seat belt.

“You do? What did she say?” he began driving off.

“She thought we were eloping,” I laughed and couldn’t help but notice that I was the only one laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“It’s a nice idea,” he said and I frowned.

“No, Jackson, you are in college. I am still in high school….” I shook my head.

“It’s just that…,” it was his turn to shake his head.

“What, Jackson?” I turned a little in my seat and grabbed his free hand.

“I hate everything in my life, you are the only thing that keeps me going,” he shrugged.

“I’ll be here long after you figure out what to do with your life, Jackson, believe me,” I said. He turned to look at me and smiled
, I do.

“Dudes, Dudettes,” said Connor entering the bakery. Jackson and I were going through the applications I’d received that week and Alexa was filing her nails behind the counter “Bonfire tonight,” he said opening his arms.

“No,” I shook my head “No way, it’s already freezing and I’m seeing Leonard tonight.”

“The last of the year and you can bring him,” he said pouting.

“I don’t know,” I was really tired, I’d done two fair competitions that week and I was demolished because I hadn’t had time to rest plus I really wanted to spend time with Leonard and my phobia of getting Jackson and him together was still very much a reality.

“Jackson, I’m counting on you my man,” said Connor pointing his finger at Jackson.

“Sure,” he shrugged “I’ll be there,” Jackson said and Connor turned to look at Alexa.

“Need a sitter,” she said.

“Already taken care of. Mom is helping,” he said and they all turned to see me.

“Fine!” I said “We’ll be there,” I was hoping Leonard would want to go there.

“Great!” said Connor and clapped “see you there.”

Later that night I was sitting alone on a cooler drinking a beer and reveling on my bitter mood because Leonard had gone to solve a stupid work emergency in Paris. He had cancelled me before he even got the chance to get to the bonfire. I knew I had to understand his situation but I was beginning to believe that it was problem that I could never see him anymore.

“Hey,” said Jackson sitting next to me in the cooler.

“Hey,” I said, as I drank a sip of the beer.

“Want to go for a walk?” he asked and I stood up not before getting another beer. I was ready to get my booze on to see if I could forget all about my bitterness.

“Not in a good mood,” Jackson said after a few steps into the beach.

“Nope,” I shook my head.

“He stood you up,” he said with no judgment in his voice.

“Again,” I said before giving a sip of my beer.

“He cares about you,” Ugh! Why was he saying good things about Leonard. Wasn’t this the moment where he said shit about him so I dumped him.

“It’s not enough,” I said as we kept on walking.

“Don’t I know that?” he said raising his eyebrows “Let’s sit in here,” he said pointing at a random spot in the beach where we stayed in silence for a long time looking at the ocean.

“I don’t want to be the kind of woman that nags on her boyfriend,” I shook my head and gave another sip to my beer. The buzz wasn’t quite a buzz anymore, more like… I was drunk.

“You aren’t,” he said looking at me.

“Nope,” I shook my head. But I wanted Leonard to be present in my everyday life; maybe it was too much to ask.

“He’s almost perfect, Mar,” Jackson chuckled “He had to have a flaw,” I see a bit of pain in his eyes and that makes my drunk self feel things that I usually make myself not to because it is dangerous.

“But he’s not you,” I said and as a fucking raging lunatic I throw myself at him and kiss him but somewhere in my fuzzy brain I registered that he’s not kissing back and then I feel his hands pushing me away from my shoulders.

He just shakes his head with closed eyes. “What?” I asked almost in a whisper because it doesn’t matter that I’m drunk, I can still feel the embarrassment.

“Mar,” he opened his eyes and looked at me, they told me that he wanted to kiss me just as bad as I wanted to.

“Jackson,” for the love of everything that was holly, I went for it again, “I know you want to,” I just hoped I looked half as sexy as I was trying to be.

“Don’t tempt me,” he pleaded me with an agonizing look in his eyes.

“Can you be tempted?” I smiled,
Aren’t you tempted?

“Not like this,” he shook his head as if by doing so all his needs and feelings would disappear, “not because you are angry at him.” Oh!

“I’m not that angry at him or that drunk,” I was. Both. “I’m just….”I stopped myself because what I really wanted to say was in love with you but even I knew that was too much.

“Why don’t we go home, Mar?” he said still serious, still scared of what could happen if I kept on talking or acting on.

“Yes, we better go home,” he helped me up from the sand and walked towards the spot where the bonfire was. Everyone was on the country dancing part of the night so it meant that it was nearly over and designated drivers were about to be designed.