Authors: KC Wells
Adam became very still. “Excuse me?” Paul’s stomach roiled.
“Oh, don’t deny it,” she flung back at him. “I’m well aware of your… proclivities.” When Adam stared at her, she snorted. “You think I didn’t see all those… things Dean was packing away in your apartment? What are they, if not evidence of a sick mind?”
Adam took several deep breaths, his fists clenched at his sides. “You know nothing of my lifestyle, beyond what you read in the tabloids or on the internet,” he said quietly. “With your background, your age, I wouldn’t expect you to understand, nor do I have any wish to explain one single thing to you. Not that I’d expect you for one minute to listen with an open mind.”
Before Adam could say another word, Dean rounded on him. “Why should we listen to a sexual deviant like you anyway? You’re just a sick, perverted fucker.”
Paul had had enough.
He leaped to his feet and placed himself between Adam and Dean. He glared at Dean. “Now you listen to me, you lazy fuck. You do
not
get to say shit like that about the man I love, you got me? Adam is worth ten, twenty of you, and if you come anywhere near us again, I will lay you out, so help me God.” He set his jaw and pulled himself up to his full height. “And if you think it would be just me coming after you, think again. There are people who care about us, even if you don’t, and they wouldn’t hesitate for one second to pound you into dust.” He grabbed hold of Dean by his T-shirt and twisted it, tightening it around Dean’s neck. “Am I making myself clear?” Spittle flew from his lips and hit Dean in the face.
Dean swallowed hard. “Y-yeah, I got it.” Caroline was at his side, staring at Paul’s clenched hand.
Slowly he let go and stepped back. “Adam, we’re leaving.”
Adam moved to stand next to him. “Yes, we are.”
In silence, Paul led Adam from the house, past a startled, red-face Caroline and a sullen-faced Dean, and out onto the road. He strode along the pavement, Adam keeping up with him, the rage in him reduced to a simmer. By the time they got to the car, he was calmer.
Paul opened the passenger door for Adam to get in, but he stood there, leaning against the car, his eyebrows visible above his glasses. “What is it?” Paul demanded.
Adam’s face broke into a slow smile. “The man you love?”
Oh… Fuck
.
“We should probably have that talk, right?” The slight quaver in Paul’s voice was adorable.
Adam laughed. God, he felt so fucking
light
. “No probably about it, but not here. And not in the car. I want to be able to concentrate.” He straightened and stepped closer. “But there’s one thing I will do before we go anywhere.”
“Yeah?”
Adam moved closer still until he could feel Paul’s heat. He stretched out his hand and met with Paul’s toned upper arm. Adam stroked upward, loving the way Paul trembled beneath his fingertips. He followed the vein in Paul’s neck that throbbed, moving upward to caress his jaw. Adam leaned in and brushed his lips over the warm skin there, before aiming higher to meet a pair of silky lips that parted for him without hesitation. Adam kissed him, conscious of being in public but fuck it, this was no time for hiding how he felt.
Paul wasn’t hiding either. He looped his arms around Adam’s neck and returned the kiss, his breathing quickening. When they finished, Adam took off his glasses, shoved them in his pocket and pressed his forehead to Paul’s, a poignant reminder of the previous day. “Say the words, babe.”
The hitch in Paul’s breathing made his heart beat faster. “Adam?”
Adam kissed him. “Say the words I’ve never heard from another man’s lips, not for me.” He laid his soul bare with that whispered truth.
“Oh, God.” Paul leaned into him, his body pressed up against Adam, so warm and vital. Paul brought his lips to Adam’s ear. “I love you, Adam Kent.”
Fuck. It was heady.
Adam wrapped his arms around Paul’s waist and drew him close, inhaling his scent. There was an air of expectancy about Paul that sent a tingle down Adam’s spine. He knew why Paul’s respiration was rapid. Adam kissed him again, slowly and thoroughly.
“I love you,” he whispered, his heart soaring to finally say the words. Paul held onto him, so still that Adam couldn’t even feel him breathing. How long they stood there, their arms around each other, Adam had no idea. The noise of the traffic on the busy road filtered through into his consciousness, an unwelcome intrusion. “Now we’ve got the important part over with, let’s go home.”
Paul murmured in agreement before curling his hand around Adam’s nape to draw him close for one more kiss. When they parted, he sighed. “Does it sound crazy that I don’t want to move from this spot?”
Adam chuckled, his heart lighter than it had been in a long time. “Because it feels like moving will break the spell?” He knew what Paul meant: there was a fragile quality to the moment, as if none of it was real.
“Yes,” Paul breathed. “Exactly.”
Adam kissed his forehead. “I promise, it’s all real, it’s not going to disappear. And when we get home, we’ll curl up on the couch and say the words all over again.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Paul admitted.
“Then take us home, babe.” Adam wished he could see Paul’s reaction to the endearment. The word felt
right
.
Paul held the door and Adam eased into the passenger seat. He secured his seatbelt and relaxed against the headrest. Paul got in and switched on the engine. They moved off and Adam let the noise outside the car wash over him.
He’d rarely felt so at peace.
When Paul let out a heavy sigh, the moment shattered.
“What is it?” Adam tensed.
He can’t have changed his mind so soon.
That would have been unbearable.
“Can we talk about what happened just now?”
Adam frowned. “I thought that’s what we were doing.” His chest grew tight, that fluttering resuming in his belly.
Paul made a noise at the back of his throat. “No, I mean about… Caroline.”
Adam growled. “Did you have to spoil my mood?”
Paul’s hand was around his in an instant. “Listen to me. As far as Dean is concerned, he can go to hell for all I care. I never want to see the worthless piece of shit again.”
The hard edge to Paul’s voice sent a shiver down Adam’s back. “Yeah, I think I got that.”
“But your sister… that’s different. She’s the only relative you’ve got, beside Dean.”
“And that excuses what she did?” Adam stiffened.
“Fuck, no!” The words flew from Paul. “I think what she did was selfish and showed no regard for you whatsoever. Okay, she had her reasons, but that’s no excuse.” He paused. “I’m just saying, sooner or later you’ll have to talk to her. Not now. Give things time to settle, yeah?” His voice softened. “She did try to help, right? She interviewed applicants for you, she…” His voice died.
Adam smiled. “You’re trying to come up with good things she did, aren’t you?” He loved that about Paul. His lover was a good man.
Paul’s hand tightened around his. “She brought me to you. I’d call that a good thing, wouldn’t you?”
That stopped him in his tracks. “Yes, I would.” For that reason alone, maybe one day he’d forgive her.
Maybe.
Right then everything was too raw, too sharp.
“The one thing I don’t understand? How she thought she’d get away with it.” Adam was still amazed that she’d gone as far as contacting a builder.
“It’s not as if we gave her much of an opportunity to present her side of it,” Paul said quietly. “Think about it: Mr. Kennedy said he last spoke with her in when, May?” Adam nodded. “But not since. When were you diagnosed? Mid May?”
“That’s right.”
“So maybe, yeah, she’d thought about it, spoke with Mr. Kennedy about it, but then everything got turned upside down. When did you decide to move back here?”
Adam thought quickly. “The beginning of July, perhaps a bit later.”
“See?” There was a triumphant note to Paul’s voice. “Know what I think? She changed her mind. Perhaps it was one thing to consider turning the house into a B&B when you were happily living in London and showing no signs of wanting to live on the island. It was quite another when you’d lost your sight and wanted to hide away here.”
Adam caught his breath. “God, you really did get me, didn’t you?” Unlike anyone else who knew him, Paul seemed to be able to see beneath the surface.
Paul stroked his hand before changing gear, and then it was right back to holding his hand again, as if he didn’t want to break their connection.
Adam considered Paul’s suggestions. “Do you think her wanting me to move out wasn’t so she could carry out her plans?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her that, Adam.”
They fell silent, Adam lost in his thoughts. Paul was right, of course: he needed answers that only Caroline could provide. That could wait. All he wanted to do was go home and curl up with Paul.
* * * * * *
“Adam? Hey, sleepyhead, we’re home.”
Adam gave a start. “Whaa?” The car was at a standstill, the engine switched off.
Paul chuckled. “You fell asleep just as we reached Godshill. I think all that emotion and stress wiped you out.”
Adam scrubbed a hand over his face. He hadn’t felt himself dozing off, just a feeling of warmth and comfort. He climbed out of the car, Paul at his side, that gentle touch above his elbow as usual. “I think you’d better make some coffee when we get in,” he suggested.
“Sure.” Paul unlocked the front door and they entered the hall. Adam went through into the library and sank onto the couch, listening to Paul bustling around in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before Paul was sitting next to him, the smell of fresh coffee in the air. They sat in silence, Adam trying to collect his thoughts while they drank.
In the space of an hour, everything had changed. Hadn’t it?
That one brief question was all it took to make Adam think clearly.
He loves me. But how can we make this work?
“Can we talk about yesterday?” It seemed as good a point as any.
“Yeah, maybe it’s time for that.” Paul shifted next to him, and his bare feet were on Adam’s thigh. Adam stroked them, keeping the motion gentle.
“About the flogging,” Adam began. “What was hardest for me, was that I had no idea whether you liked it or not. Seth tried to give me his impressions but… ” He broke off, a thought occurring to him. “Were you really okay about me bringing in Seth?”
Paul gave a shaky laugh. “When you first suggested it? Fuck, no! It was only because I… I really trusted you that I said yes.” His voice lowered. “I knew you wouldn’t let any harm come to me.”
The sincerity laced through Paul’s words shook him. Adam lifted Paul’s foot and kissed it softly, not missing his gentle inhalation. He returned his foot to its resting place on his thigh.
“I couldn’t tell you how I really felt,” Paul blurted out. “I was so afraid.”
“Of what?”
“You wanted me as your submissive!”
Adam froze. “What? What gave you that idea?”
“You brought Seth in to flog me! Duh. It was obviously important to you that I liked it.”
“And did you?” Adam held his breath.
“No!” Paul wailed. “But how could I tell you that?” He took rapid breaths. “Adam, what we’ve done so far, the clamps, the cock ring, all of it, has been… amazing. I loved it, all of it. I admit I was curious about how it would feel to be flogged, but more than that, I…” He gulped, his breathing erratic.
Adam reached for Paul and pulled him into his lap, his arm around Paul’s shoulder. “Tell me,” he said, his voice soft.
“I wanted to please you, to make you proud of me,” Paul whispered. “I thought it was what you wanted. But when it came down to it? The flogging was something I endured rather than enjoyed, and I know enough to realize if that’s how it feels, it’s not for me.”
“Oh, babe.” Adam kissed him, his hand resting on Paul’s cheek. “You could’ve told me.” He snorted. “I’m just as bad. When you seemed to like the idea of being flogged, my mind went into overdrive. All I could think about was you wanting something that I couldn’t give you.” He caressed Paul’s face. “You’re really happy with what we have?”
“Fuck, yes.” Paul kissed him, a fervent collision of lips. “I love how you are. I wouldn’t change one thing about you.”
Adam pushed out a long, shaky sigh. “Thank God for that.”
Paul snuggled up to him, his head on Adam’s shoulder, his hand resting against Adam’s chest. “What a pair we are.”
Adam took a step out of his comfort zone. “This is not easy for me. I’ve… I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve never found it easy to share my feelings. That wasn’t me. When I said to you all those weeks ago that there were to be no romantic entanglements… I wouldn’t know a romantic entanglement if it stepped right up and slapped me in the face.”
Paul chuckled against his chest, before becoming still. “That was why I couldn’t tell you how I felt about you. You made it clear that it was just sex. I didn’t know how you’d react if there I was saying, ‘oh, by the way, I’m falling in love with you.’”
Adam tugged Paul until he straddled Adam’s waist. He cupped Paul’s head and drew him into a kiss, their soft sighs mingling. Adam leaned against the cushion, holding Paul against his body, loving his weight, his warmth. “I love you.” Now that he’d finally said the words, it was as if he didn’t want to stop.
* * * * * *
“I love you, too.” Paul was where he’d wanted to be for so long, and it was heaven.
“So what’s next?” he asked, comfortable in the circle of Adam’s arms.
“That’s easy. You’re fired.”
Paul sat bolt upright. “Excuse me?”
Adam smiled. “And you’re moving into my room.”
Okay, that melted him into a pile of goo, but…
“Let’s go back to the ‘you’re fired’ thing.” Paul folded his arms across his chest, even though the gesture was lost on Adam. It was instinctive.
“I am not going to carry on with you as my companion, assistant, whatever. You’re my lover, my partner.”
How am I supposed to keep mad at him when he keeps saying stuff that turns me into a puddle?