I’m almost tempted to say yes and let him whisk me away, instead I hug him a little tighter and allow myself to get intoxicated with his smell a little longer. I’m not as open as Roxy or as flamboyant as Neil, so our exit needs to be on the subtle side.
He continues to nibble on my neck as he whispers, “Come on. Can’t wait. Need to sink inside you.”
Oh, sweet baby Jesus, this boy is making me wetter than a tourist on board the Maid of the Mist Tour at Niagara Falls. I quickly look at the sliding glass door where everyone is plastered watching us. I look at Trish for help, with one simple look from me and a nod from her, she starts the herding of our crew, including our parents. Once Roxy and Neil get wind of what Trish is trying to do, they weren’t that subtle.
Neil stands on the coffee table as he talks like a tour guide. “That concludes our tour of ‘How to Propose to a Cougar.’ Exits are straight ahead, please follow the lady with the cute baby bump and the hot mama who birthed four cutie pies. Hup, two, three, and march. Onward my man candies and parentals, we need to leave this joint and allow the lovers to get reacquainted with each other.”
Thankfully, our parents are so used to Neil, they just laugh it off. I mouth ‘thank yous’ to my girls, and that includes Neil, before my overly impatient fiancée carries me to our room. I already know this will be a combination of sweet and slow; rough and fast. While my mind is just barely trying to get use to that thought, I feel my back hitting the wall as my body slowly slithers against his. My feet barely touch the floor when his husky voice awakens my sleeping core.
“Wider, angel.”
Toeing my BCBG Conrad Heels off, I try my hardest to keep my legs apart, but seriously, how can I when I’m wearing my black pencil skirt. Tired of waiting, he pushes my skirt up as he moves my panties to the side, then he starts to torturously play with my clit. A sensual, throaty moan escapes my lips, which excites him enough to plunge his middle finger deep inside of me followed by another as I continue to grind shamelessly against his hand.
As I continue to writhe and wantonly cry out in pleasure, he satisfies his mouth by devouring mine. My body is about to skyrocket to the heavens, needing that release I’ve been holding for far too long.
“Oh . . .”
“Let it go, angel. You owe me a whole lot of those. I can’t wait to run my tongue all over your body, make you ask for it while I take you hard and fast. How do you want it, angel?”
His voice, his words, his fingers sliding deeper, moving faster drives me closer and closer to the edge, teetering precariously. I want to reach the peak of release in the sweetest and most enjoyable of falls. He takes me there hard and fast as another breathy moan escapes me, my whole body sags in satisfaction. He pulls out of me after flicking my sensitive bud one last time, making my body spasm again earning a satisfied groan from my future husband.
“I can’t wait to be inside you.”
I can’t really say much, my body is still floating in the air. Instead, I just nod in agreement. He slowly undresses me while I watch his fingers glide down my hips as he pulls my skirt and my panties, both landing on the floor where he wants them. His fingers move mercilessly slow from the outside of my thigh then inward, as his middle finger teasingly grazes the folds of my vagina travelling north. Without releasing his transfixed hold on my eyes, he works his way up my blouse one button at a time until he unclasps the last one, leaving me in nothing but my bra.
I say a quick thank you that I picked this bra since it has a front clasp which makes thing so much easier. Pinching it with his thumb and pointer finger, he slides his thumb upward and magically my breasts are on full display.
“We need to take this to the bed, angel, or I’ll take you here against the wall,” he says between kisses.
“Move.”
Kiss.
“Now.”
Kiss.
“Can’t wait.”
Kiss.
“Need to be inside you.”
Kiss.
Nip.
Pull.
Bite.
Swipe of his tongue.
Oh, so soothing.
My mind is all over the place much like my hands, fingers, lips, tongue. They’re all in a frenzied state because of lust, longing, and desire for him. Weeks of being without his tender touch and soft kisses have turned me into a needy sexually deprived woman searching for my man’s heat.
He lifts me up and carries me to our bed without releasing my lips. My hold on him is as equally solid as the strokes of his tongue against mine. His kisses aren’t meant to own me, but rather to complete me; the completion is made perfect because of our love for each other.
Gently, he lays me down on our bed as he proceeds to bestow kisses and nips on my breasts. Sucking gently then hard, licking to soothe and biting to entice, over and over he gives both his undivided attention. I squirm underneath him expressing vocally how his lips are driving me insane.
“More . . . oh . . .”
While I plead and beg for more, his mouth continues to move, his thumb now plays with my overly sensitized bud, pressing and moving round and round until my whole body vibrates and pulses in need. Releasing my breast, his lips kiss their way up my neck to my jaw until they make a stop on my lips, claiming them once again.
He slips inside me slow and tender. Everything around me stops as I revel in my own fullness of him. Brian is tender with me, moving slowly, then gradually shifting to hard and fast. His thrusts are relentless, his need for me—for us is so intense every nerve-ending in my body is heightened.
“Need you.”
Kiss.
“I’ve missed this.”
Kiss. Nip
“Love you, forever.”
Lick. Bite.
“Without end,” breathlessly, I answer as we continue to worship each other’s lips and body.
Our rhythms match each other, one receives what the other gives, both meeting in the middle, him deeply rooted inside of me while I wrap him with my warmth.
“Together, angel. Need it. Crave it.”
He puts my leg on his shoulder and bears down hard, pushing into me as fast as he can and as quick as I can receive it. Pounding . . . thrusting hard, and I’m ready to surrender to the pull of sexual desire. I need it to be quenched. I need to be sated. . . . and it happens, we both fall. He releases my leg resting on his shoulder as he sinks deeper inside me while I squeeze him as our bodies spasm in complete fulfilled bliss.
We’re both breathing heavily as his lips rest on my neck. My body is a heap of boneless goo. Movement is impossible at the moment. He’s still inside me, and with the look of it, he’s not going anywhere. I nudge him to move, but he shakes his head as he thrusts into me one more time.
“Babe, are you gonna stay inside me all night?” I jokingly ask with a giggle.
Chuckling he answers, “Yeah, I want all my swimmers in there.”
I’m shocked with his admission. I, of course, am happy, but I wasn’t expecting him to want to try, like right now. I was prepared to wait on him until he’s fully ready.
I search for his face still attached to my neck and yank it so we’re meeting each other’s eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Angel, I’m sure. I’m scared, yes, but you’re here. You comfort me in ways I can’t even explain, just don’t ever stop, okay?”
He rests his chin on my chest while I run my knuckles on his cheek. We share a moment where words aren’t needed and explanations need not be given. Our hearts are on the same wavelength. Maybe, mine’s just a little stronger and his needs a little nurturing and coaxing, but in his weakness my strength is adequate enough for the both of us. He slackens slightly inside me, but still he refuses to move even an inch.
“I love you for doing this for me—for us. I know it’s hard, because it brings painful memories, bad ones you want to escape. One request though, I need you to talk to me when you feel overwhelmed. I can’t help you if you won’t let me in, okay?”
His eyes well up, and they speak volumes. “I am, now. I want this so badly; I’m scared. What if . . .”
I silence him with a simple kiss that slowly turns into something more—more than the fear, more than the apprehension, more than the hurt. I take control of our kiss as I anchor my palms against his face. Holding it with such tenderness, just like how I’m gently taking ownership of his heart, with my hands.
“I’ll follow you wherever your fear takes you, just don’t let go of me, ever. It’s you and me through the darkness until it passes, okay? You know there’s no way around it only through it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I am because I’m sure of us. I’m sure of Him.” My eyes follow his as his wander all over my face.
Finally, he speaks; his words and his voice spear right through my heart and an instant ache covers me. “Make me forget.”
His pleading voice strengthens my heart. It moves him to physically push his fears through me. He captures my lips with his own and leaves them as abruptly as he captured them, only to take hold of my breast as he starts with the nipping and the sucking that drives me mad. Brian releases my breast as he pulls me toward him, sliding us both toward the edge of the bed. He carries me toward the bathroom and gently sits me on the edge of the counter pushing my legs apart as he stands between them, just as he cups my cheeks taking my lips captive.
“I need this fast, T.”
Without waiting for my answer, he slams into me hard making me gasp out loud which normally would have him kissing me, but this time he doesn’t. Instead, he grips my hips with both hands and crashes into me roughly, taking everything he wants and giving everything he’s got. I can sense his frustration, feel his pain, but he doesn’t need me to do anything other than give myself to him to help him forget. He finally leans in to kiss me, and I can taste his fear in his kiss. I wish I could kiss it all away. His hand slides down my stomach straight to my clit, flicking it until I’m almost at the cusp of pleasure.
A few more strong and unrestrained pushes, and I fall before he does.
I feel him shake, and I feel his tears.
I feel his release, and I feel his aches.
I feel
him
—I feel
me
—I feel
us.
BRIAN
I SLOWLY PLAY WITH THE
ring that beautifully rests on her finger, where it’ll stay forever. While my heart is completely on board with kicking my fear in the ass, my brain is still entertaining the thoughts of everything that could go wrong. It methodically reminds me of what happened, and what could happen during a pregnancy.
“Thank you for saying yes. You don’t know how much you and this day mean to me,” I thankfully say as I look up to my future wife.
“I think I do. Actually, I’m positive I do, because it’s the same exact feeling I have. The same need that couldn’t be quenched by anyone else. It’s the same want that can’t be satisfied by anything, and it’s the same wish that can’t be given by anyone, but you.”
“You make me so happy,” I whisper against her lips.
Her lips spread against mine in a smile. “Yeah? I make you so . . .”
“Loved.”
“Hmm, so . . .”
“Hopeful,” An answer I give with so much conviction a single piece of doubt will never enter her brain.
“So . . .” She continues to ask after she pecks my lips.
“Strong. What about you, angel? I make you feel so . . .”
“Complete in every way.”
“I love you, T. So much. Don’t leave me again, please.” I’m thankful my face is concealed, deeply buried in her neck because I can feel tears threatening to spill when I remember how close I came to losing her.
She pulls me closer to her as she makes her promise. “I won’t. I was just giving you time to find yourself. I needed to help you realize that even though I let
you
go, I’d never let go of
us.
”
I lean back to look into her eyes, to see what they’re saying. “You mean you were going to take me back?”
She shakes her head which makes my heart stop. Why is she shaking her head? I don’t understand. My hands feel clammy, my head is spinning, and I feel as if I want to jab something into my chest to make it start beating again. Tami must have sensed the impending doom currently residing in my brain, because she smiles at me, knowing her smile calms me.
“Honey, I was gonna chase you. There’s no taking back what already belongs to me. I needed to make you understand that in this world, while we’re both in it, we belong together. Time apart was the only way to show you that. I also needed to understand your pains and fears separate from my own. Sometimes, time is our friend—a lonely friend that teaches us to wait. Have you heard of the saying, ‘if you truly love someone, set them free; if they come back, they’re yours to keep forever’?”
“I heard something like that. So, you let me go . . .”
My eyes well up with tears as the realization hits me. I need to let go of the hurts and fears of losing my babies so that I can—maybe someday receive another little angel with less fear and more strength, with less despair and more hope. Sensing my relief brought by my latest epiphany, she gifts me with yet another smile, but this time, her eyes are shining with pride.
“It’s time to let them go.”