UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3) (14 page)

Clapping as he tells me, “Nice; make sure you’re wearing your red Victoria Secret thong underwear.”

Just then, Roxy walks in with a huge bag of In-N-Out burgers.

I smile at her, showing my appreciation. “Thank you for coming! Please, help me calm Neil down. He’s having a . . .”

Roxy waves the bags, hands me the drinks, then rolls her eyes as if saying she’s used to Neil’s drama queen moments. Hopefully, Roxy won’t add to them, because I can only deal with one brat for the rest of the day.

Roxy wipes her mouth before speaking, “Neil, you’re just a drama queen.”

“Damn proud of it. We’re twinsies, you and me. We think alike, and like the same type of men, especially that hot stuff that knocked your booty up.”

“I’m pregnant, and my brain’s kinda muddled, so I’ll let your confession about my hubby slide.”

As soon as the word ‘pregnant’ leaves Roxy’s mouth, I instantly feel the same tightening of my chest, much like when the doctor told me I’d lost our baby. The grimace on my face causes Roxy and Neil to reach out for my hands. They’re wearing the same look of concern they normally do when I remember. I.Always.Remember.

“I’m okay.” I swing my gaze to Roxy, knowing guilt is eating her up right now. “Don’t feel bad about what you said. I want you to be happy around me. I want you to be free to talk about how you feel, what you feel without fearing I’m gonna lose it. I’ve told you this before, Rox, don’t change because of me. I’m happy you’re pregnant, just as you’re sad that I’m not. I want to learn from you, to maybe see what I should expect if and when I do get pregnant, again. At the same time, I want you to see that even after losing a child, life goes on, at least for me.”

Roxy being pregnant equals a very emotional Roxy. “Why did it have to happen to you? Of all people, why you?” She dabs her eyes with a napkin and rants some more. “I mean, there are others who get pregnant just by a guy looking at them, and they never even want to be pregnant. So, I don’t understand why God would do this.” She whispers the last part as though she’s ashamed she thought of God in that manner.

“I don’t know the whys, Rox. All I know is Heaven gained another angel because of my loss. It’s the only way for me to cope, you know? Maybe someday I’ll be able to hold our baby, maybe she’s dancing in Heaven waiting for us, or he’s praying for healing, I don’t know. It’s easier to imagine the how-I-wish, instead of focusing on the what-could-have-beens in life.”

I smile at her to make her feel better. Slowly, but surely, my heart is healing; and hope is quickly settling in my heart as it used to. As my dad always says, there’s always a rainbow after a thunderstorm, peace after a whirlwind of chaos, and life after death.

BRIAN

AFTER SPENDING LONG HOURS AT
work and missing Tami like crazy, I silently tiptoe my way through the hallway straight to our room. I find her curled up, wearing one of my shirts while hugging one of my pillows. A smile breaks onto my face, knowing she misses me just as much as I miss her.

Since our ‘break up,’ I hate sleeping at Cody’s; and since I won’t gamble sleeping with her, my next best option is to sleep on the couch. Hopefully, she won’t catch me and kick my ass out . . . again. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours I give up the fight to sleep. I go directly to the kitchen straight to where her Keurig sits and start her coffee. While waiting, I open her junk drawer for a piece of paper and a pen. If I can’t sleep, I’ll write my angel a letter. I’ll tell her a story of how I picture our story to end. I want her to hope with me, to want with me, to wish with me, but more than anything, I want her to just be with me.

Noticing that her coffee is done, I make it the way she likes and walk back to our room, placing it on the nightstand next to her along with my little note. My fingers are itching to touch her again, while my lips are aching to kiss hers. It’s been too long. Way too long. She stirs, and I take that as my cue to leave.

I walk back to Cody’s side of the house to find him making breakfast for Roxy. I pat his back, shaking my head not believing that my once carefree friend slowly, but surely, turned into a pussified Martha Stewart.

“I see you’ve been thoroughly pussified. Can you make some for me, too?”

He points the spatula at me as he smirks. “You know, your time will come, boy toy. What are you doing here, anyway? I thought after seeing no action for a while you’d be all up on her shit.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Scrunching his brows at me, he says, “Why not? Own that shit.”

“I’ll take her out to lunch today. You know, romance the shit out of her and get on her good side. I want her to remember the good times.”

Throwing his hands up in the air, he says, “Dude, just go there and tell her how it is. I don’t know what you’re waiting for. I mean, it’s not like you guys never did the . . .” Cody thrusts a couple of times, thankfully not in front of me. “ . . . boom chaka laka.”

“I’m trying, man.” I wave him off and ask, “Why are you up so early, anyway? Can’t get any or what?”

“Ha! If you must know, I told Ms. Nympho my dick is off limits.” He turns around frowning at me. “Quit laughing! I’m telling you, I don’t know what’s up with her, but. . . .”

Roxy appears out of nowhere and goes directly to Cody, hugging him from behind. “Hmmm, why’d you leave?” She mumbles.

Cody turns around to hug her and laughs. “Love, no means no!”

Burrowing her face into his chest, she mumbles, “I want some . . .”

“See what I mean?” Cody says, as he points to his wife.

“Wow, I never thought you’d ever say no to any type of sexual activity.”

As he continues to rub Roxy’s back, he answers, “Not when it’s overused!” Kissing Roxy on her head, Cody leans back and looks at his wife. “Love, you want breakfast in bed or right here. And, I mean breakfast that you can swallow.”

“I can swallow!” Roxy perkily answers, which makes me shake my head.

“Damn! I set myself up for that one. I mean, something that will give nourishment to my baby.”

While I sit here listening and watching them tease each other, I can’t help but feel a slight knot in my stomach wishing I were with Tami, right now. I don’t know how much longer I can hold off, but it’s gonna happen soon; otherwise, my dick will forget how to function.

Cody chuckling in the background gets my attention. I swing my gaze and raise my brow at him. “What the hell are you laughing about?”

Covering his mouth, he says, “You! I don’t think you’re one hundred percent in. It’s more like you’re one hundred percent out! Out of practice! Dude, you have blue balls while I have a blistered dick!” He slams the table with his hand and laughs uncontrollably.

“Whatever, and you’re one hundred percent used and abused. Blistered dick, yeah, because you’ve been complaining, non-stop I might add, about your dick being sore and shit.”

Cody’s eyes grew like saucers after what I said. Roxy’s loud gasp is soon followed by tears and a few incoherent mumbles. Roxy pushes her chair back and is about ready to leave when Cody stops her.

“Love, I was just joking when I said that. You know shit comes out of my mouth from time to time. You know I have diarrhea of the mouth. Do we have any Imodium?”

Cody reaches for her, but she flinches away. Then she turns to leave after bringing down the gauntlet on my friend. “Don’t touch me. You better start mourning your dick’s death. From now until forever, it won’t serve a damn purpose since I’m gonna be using my Lelo!”

“You owe me big time. I’m just putting it out there,” Cody says, scowling at me.

“I’m sorry. Roxy’s never been that sensitive, so I thought. . . .”

He interrupts me as he looks at me in bewilderment. “She’s pregnant! Every woman who has ever been pregnant is sensitive as shit. Forget about the women are from outer space concept, because this is a whole different ball game. She cries at the drop of a hat. She sees a commercial, she cries. She watches a movie, she cries. I give her the wrong ice cream flavor, she freaking cries. We go shopping for baby stuff, she cries.”

A sense of something I can’t describe starts to work its way to my heart. I wish I could have enjoyed those times with Tami. What I would give for her to cry at the drop of a hat, or to shop for baby stuff, or her telling me to go buy her a weird sounding ice cream. It’s then I realize that all the sadness that overcomes me are feelings I never felt with Lorraine. Sure, I was sad because we lost our baby, but the sadness stops there. With Tami, not only does the sadness of losing our angel rule my heart, it’s the moments I know we’ll never have . . . we’ll never share, or even get to experience that compounds my sadness and turns it into an agonizing, debilitating pain.

Cody slaps my shoulder then says, “Everything will be alright, Brian.”

“I hope so, because she means everything to me. Everything I’ve dreamed of, and everything I’ve feared to lose.”

TAMI

As soon as my eyes greet the morning sun, the smell of coffee makes my mouth water, but the letter with my name on it brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart.

Tami,

I can’t undo my past or re-do a decision I’ve made. But, how about I tell you a story of US.

Happy—the day you said yes to me at the hospital. You needed me then in your moment of weakness, now . . . I don’t know if you still do. But, one thing I know is I need you. You’ve awakened a part of me I buried a long time ago. That’s the desire to have a family, though scared as hell, that desire flickers in my mind and stays in my heart because of you.

I love the way you love me, the way you take care of me. I love that you put me first in everything. I just love how we are together. While a secret was burning a hole in my heart, you were loving me the way you should. At the time, I was thinking if and when you found out, would you still love me?

Just as with any story, an ending is inevitable, but I don’t want to end it . . . not like this. We both promised forever—there isn’t an ending in forever, right? Now, I’m stuck thinking about what road to take to get to our forever. . . .

Brian

(The guy who’s desperately in love with you)

I have to read it again and again to make sure I’m not dreaming or that I’m understanding it correctly. I make my bed day dreaming of him, take a shower thinking of him as I run my hands over my wet, slippery body down to my aching core. I miss him more than the day before and need him every second of everyday.

“Good morning, T.” Roxy greets me as she comes out of her side of the house.

“Morning,” I answer walking to the driver’s side of my car.

“It’s good to see you smiling again, Tami. Did uh . . . some boom boom action happened this morning. . . . or late last night?”

I shake my head as I look at her with my nose scrunched up. “Is that all you think about? Geez, I’m beginning to believe you’ve turned into this nymphomaniac.”

She rolls her eyes at me, and a comfortable silence ensues between us. Neil greets us a little too cheery for my taste, but thankfully, his attention is centered on Roxy. I go directly to my office and start riffling through my purse searching for my phone when I see another white paper with my name on it. I slowly fall on my chair, and once again, a smile spreads across my face.

Angel,

A secret—that’s exactly what I kept from you. I kept an important part of me from you because of fear. I was fearful of accepting what you most want in life, and a bridge I wasn’t ready to cross. So, the secret stayed until I was forced to accept something I’ve been running from.

When you told me you were pregnant, waves upon waves of different emotions were running wild inside of my head. I was scared, but I also felt brave because of you. I was excited because we created life, but at the same time, I was indifferent because of fear. I was a lot of things, but not one matched with yours. Mine was always paired with something dark. My fears became your reality. A reality I tried to deny, and one that you embraced.

So, how’s our story supposed to end? You tell me since you hold all the cards, including my heart.

Loving you forever with no end,

Brian

My huge smile is still plastered on my face when Neil and Roxy walk in, and I quickly shove the letter back into my purse. Praying they don’t notice anything; otherwise, an inquisition will soon follow, with Roxy and Neil pairing up spells bad news for me.

“What’s with the smile?” Both ask at the same time.

“What smile?”

“Liar, liar pants on fire,” Neil says as he wags his finger at me.

“You’re hiding something, T.” Roxy seconds.

“Noted.”

“Noted.” Roxy imitates LT which makes Neil and me laugh out loud. “That’s so irritating! You know when he gets into the Secret Service, I’ll dare him to say that to the President.”

“Damien is just. . . .” I stop to think how I’d describe him, and one word that comes to mind is controlled. “He is just so controlled, ya know, like nothing ever bothers him. He’s always so deep in thought. Always so strong.”