Read Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader
| Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader |
| Bathroom Readers’ Institute |
Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader
Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Uncle John’s
CURIOUSLY
COMPELLING
BATHROOM
READER
By the
Bathroom Readers’
Institute
Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon
OUR “REGULAR” READERS RAVE!
“
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
has added a new dimension to my bathroom visits. Thank you.”
—
Mitchell A.
“I have never in my 71 years had a book that I carry with me at all times. Since I’ve had a copy of the
Bathroom Reader
, I don’t even watch a lot of TV!”
—
Robert T.
“I would just like to thank you for making me laugh. Since discovering your great series, I find myself visiting my bathroom more often. There is need of a new invention: Armrests in the toilet!”
—
Caroline Q.
“I think these books are the best in the world. I take them to school and show all my friends. Thank you for making my visits to the bathroom fun.”
—
Bobby R.
“You guys are the funniest I’ve ever read!”
—
Suzanne P.
“Just thought I’d let you know what a great job you’re doing. My whole family enjoys your books and our tradition has been to buy one, then two books at Christmastime for reading the next year. You’ve become so popular that we now have at least three new books in the bathroom, and it’s only June!”
—
Martha O.
“I absolutely love your books. But oddly, I’ve never read them in the bathroom. As soon as I get one, I have to read it cover to cover. Keep up the good work!”
—
Leanne P.
UNCLE JOHN’S
CURIOUSLY COMPELLING
BATHROOM READER
®
Copyright © 2006 by the Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
“Bathroom Reader” is a federally registered trademark of Baker & Taylor, Inc. “Uncle John” is a trademark of Baker & Taylor, Inc.
For information, write:
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,
P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com
888-488-4642
Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld,
San Rafael, CA (
[email protected]
)
Special thank you to Gary Martin, M.O. (Master of Origami)
BRI “technician” on the back cover: Larry Kelp
Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader
®
by the Bathroom Readers’ Institute
ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-607-4
E-book edition: February 2012
Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse!
THANK YOU!
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible
.
Gordon Javna
John Dollison
Thom Little
Brian Boone
Amy Miller
Jay Newman
Julia Papps
Malcolm Hillgartner
Jahnna Beecham
Michael Brunsfeld
Angela Kern
Sharilyn Hovind
Jeff Altemus
Gideon Javna
Sydney Stanley
JoAnn Padgett
Jolly Jeff Cheek
Scarab Media
Jef Fretwell
Connie Vazquez
Kristine Hemp
Nancy Toeppler
Dan Schmitz
Kyle Coroneos
Sheila & Rad
Gary Martin
Claudia Bauer
Jennifer Thornton
Jennifer Payne
Melinda Allman
Laurel Graziano
Mana, Dylan & Chandra
Maggie Javna
(Mr.) Mustard Press
Rick Overton
Steven Style Group
Kristen Vanberg
John Burns
Shobha Grace
Matthew Furber
Jo Scheer
Eddie Deezen
Alan Nathanson
Keziah Veres
Michelle Sedgwick
Maggie McLaughlin
Raincoast Books
Chris Olsen
Porter the Wonder Dog
Thomas Crapper
* * *
“If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”
—
Oscar Wilde
CONTENTS
Because the BRI understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.
Short
—a quick read
Medium
—2 to 3 pages
Long
—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required
*
Extended
—for those leg-numbing experiences
Uh, Excuse Me, Sir, But Your Microphone Is On
Billy Mitchell’s Battle, Part I
Billy Mitchell’s Battle, Part II
Billy Mitchell’s Battle, Part III
It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
The Doctor Is Out (of His Mind)
Forgotten Firsts in Robot History
Why Your Mom Says, “Wash Your Hands!”
The Pilgrims, Pt. I: A Church Divided
The Pilgrims, Pt. II: Exodus from England
The Pilgrims, Pt. III: Sailing to America
*
The Pilgrims, Pt. IV: The New World
The Black Panties Bandit Strikes Again
Can You Pass the U.S. Citizenship Test? (Easy)
Can You Pass the U.S. Citizenship Test? (Medium)
Can You Pass the U.S. Citizenship Test? (Hard)