Authors: Jessie M.
“
T
here's no need. And to be honest I don't want Mum to see you there in the morning. She might get all funny Josh.”
“
What d'you mean
?” Whatever she means, the prospect of Mrs S. getting all funny over me isn't very appealing at all. She shrugs her shoulders. “Okay then, I'll come up with you... but only if you promise not to fuck me.”
What the hell am I saying? Christ...
“
Oh ha ha... as if.” She is really laughing at me. I'm suddenly annoyed that she finds the idea of having sex with me so completely inconceivable or worse still hilarious.
“
So you don't find me fuckable, then?” I say sharply.
“
You get way too much of that as it is. Now shut up and get a move on. I've
got to get up early for work in the morning.” I notice she didn't answer my question at all.
I precede her upstairs feeling rather excited about the prospect of sleeping with her. I don't know why, as we're only going to sleep. I get undressed fast, down to my CK's and jump in bed. I watch fascinated as she takes off her make up at the dressing table and brushes through her wavy funky hair with long strokes. After that she sits on the bed with her back to me and takes off her clothes.
“Shit, what on earth is she doing to me?”
I sink down lower on the pillow in a state of lust filled awe at the sight of the beautiful pale skin of her back, her long wavy sea of shiny dark hair laying against it and her tiny black satin panties. I've lost the ability to breathe normally. She looks slowly over her shoulder at me with a small smile and I look away quickly. If I didn't know better I'd say she was doing this deliberately.
My heart is pumping out of my chest and my mouth is so dry. My whole body is about to explode with desire as she reaches behind her back and undoes her bra, discarding it on the floor.
Jesus, help me. Please...
She flicks off the lamp, sliding into bed next to me. I turn towards her, an overheated, breathless and throbbing mess.
“
Night Eden.” I manage to force the words out in a croaky gasp.
“
Night Josh, I had a really lovely time tonight. Thank you so much.” She murmurs sexily in the dark.
I lay there more awake than I've ever been in my entire life. My hard on is so painful and I simply cannot make it go away, no matter what disgusting things I think of. I gradually calm down but it takes a long, long time. I've made a rather shocking discovery tonight. I don't just 'love' my best friend Eden anymore, I'm actually 'in love' with her. Completely and totally. Beyond a doubt, hook, line and sinker. My heart starts hammering wildly again with this realisation.
I want her to kiss me. I want her to be in love with me. I want her to be mine.
To belong to me, in every way.
Danielle has disappeared from my mind. That heated sexual infatuation is nothing compared with what I feel for Eden. She is everything to me. I must have been blind and stupid not to have seen how wonderful she is. The woman of my dreams has been standing right in front of me for years and I've been running everywhere else trying to find her. As I drift off to sleep I'm worried and a little scared of my feelings. I know I don't deserve her at all. I don't deserve anyone.
I wake up alone the next morning. Eden has gone to work already. She starts the early shift at seven on Fridays. I wash and dress and go to find Mrs.S. I find her doing her cat puzzle again. She seems to be getting along with it quite well, unless Jordan did some more of it with her last night.
No, I can't imagine a 17 year old boy doing a cat puzzle for a fucking minute.
I sit down at the table with her. “Would you like some tea Mrs S?”
“
Lorraine.”
“
Pardon
?”
“
That's my name.”
“
Right. Would you like some tea Lorraine?”
“
Yes please, no sugar.”
I make her tea and one for myself and join her at the table.
“
Do you want some help, with your puzzle?” I ask her.
“
If you like. Who are you anyway?”
“
I'm Joshua. Eden's friend from work.”
“
Never heard of you... Do you like puzzles?”
No I absolutely fucking hate them with a passion.
“
Of course I do. Who doesn't love a good puzzle? Come on then, let's do it together.”
We sit for another hour or so and finish it. I don't take over, just point her towards the pieces very subtly sliding then under her hand.
“
There you go Lorraine. All done.” Her face looks confused and sad. I realise that I have made a huge error of judgement hurrying her through it and she is now puzzle-less. This is her hobby, her one and only pastime, apart from her books, which she never actually reads. I now need to get Lorraine another puzzle to keep her occupied. “Would you like to come out and get a new one?” Where the hell you buy jigsaw puzzles from I couldn't hazard a guess.
Her face lights up. “Toys R US?”
Oh God no... Not a toy store... Fucking great.
“
Is that where you buy them?” I haven't a clue, obviously.
“
The cat came from there.”
“
Right. Get your shoes on. We'll find you a puzzle and I'll buy you McD for lunch.”
It'll be fun for her.
I'm pretty damn sure Lorraine hasn't been to McD that often in the past, if at all.
I call Eden quickly, before I kidnap her mother.
“Hi hon, a
s you aren't available for lunch today, I'm taking your lovely mum out instead.”
“
Why are you still there?”
“
I like doing cat puzzles.”
“
Fuck off home Josh.”
“
What do you want for dinner tonight?”
“
What are you talking about?”
“
I'm cooking you both dinner at my stable.”
“
Assuming you're not joking, anything as long as it's not too hot. Mum can't eat really spicy stuff.”
“
What about a Joshie special lasagne?”
“
Yum.”
“
Don't be late, it takes over an hour to make.” I click off.
After a twenty minute drive to Ipswich to the dreadful toy superstore, we finally leave Toys R Us at 12 with a new and very precious horse puzzle. Precious and exciting based on the enthusiastic way Lorraine is hugging it to herself, like a newborn baby. We then proceed to fill up with BK burgers, fries and strawberry shakes which we both tuck into with a smile. BK is far better than McD in my opinion. I prefer their fries and their burgers are big and meaty. Perfect man food in fact. I am more than pleased that Mrs S. seems to be enjoying our trip out together anyway.
I stop off at the supermarket on the way back to pick up my dinner items with my new best friend in tow. She leads me around pointing at things and explaining what they are as if I'm a child. She's very sweet. We arrive at the pet aisle and I remember her fascination with dog food.
“
Chum is cheaper.” She points at the half price sign.
“
What's your dog called?” I ask her.
“
Bess.”
“
And where does Bess live?”
“
In the cottage, by the farm.”
“
Is that your house?”
“
Yes, and my parents of course.”
“
Y
ou're remembering something from your childhood. Bess is gone now. Dogs don't live very long.”
“
Where has she gone?”
“
She died Lorraine. A long, long time ago. I'm sorry.”
“
So I don't need dog food?”
“
No. You didn't get another dog. Not after Bess died.”
“
Oh dear.”
I daresay she'll forget this conversation the next time she hits the supermarket on her own but at least I tried.
We go back to Eden's and I get Lorraine going on the horse puzzle. I make us coffee in the afternoon and help her a little more. There's one thing I am now absolutely sure of. Lorraine does not fancy me one bit. Eden made that up to get me upstairs in her bedroom. I am more than pleased about this fact.
Soon enough it's 4pm and Eden is home. I know she is intrigued and surprised by my mum sitting day and keeps looking at me strangely. We get in our cars. Of course Lorraine insists on coming in mine. She's got great taste in cars obviously. Everything is loaded up, including horse puzzle tray, and we set off.
I show them around my cute man stable which they can't help but love. I also take them over to the house and show them around Father's grander abode. Then I get started on the dinner while Lorraine sits at the table with her puzzle.
“
What the fuck are you up to?” Eden finally asks me suspiciously.
“
Can you be more specific?”
“
Why have you been hanging out with my mum all day? Doing puzzles, taking her for BK and shopping, and now this, cooking us my favourite dinner... I don't get it, what do you want?”
“
I had a very nice day with Lorraine. I'll ignore that last comment.”
“
Oh come on,
I imagine you had better things to do with your day off than mum sit. There must be at least a hundred women to fuck somewhere or other?”
Oh dear, now she's getting ratty with me.
“
I had nothing planned for my day off, as it goes. And if you really want to know why I spent all day with your mum, here's the reason. I started to help her with her cat puzzle and she finished it. I felt bad because she looked upset when it was done and it was mainly my fault rushing her through it. So I took her out to get another one. And I fed her lunch because I was hungry too. The dinner was supposed to be a nice gesture. Well, it started off nice. But you've spoilt it now.”
“
Oh Josh, I'm so sorry. Me and my big mouth. I appreciate it. Really I do, and I'm sure Mum loved it. It's just that you're different somehow. All lovely and sweet. I'm not used to it, you're normally not so... Maybe I'll shut the fuck up now.”
“
Good idea. Pour us some wine and come and help me, eh?”
We finally get to eat my special lasagne recipe at seven. I can see Eden is impressed by my cooking at least. I subtly keep her nicely topped up with wine so she can't drive home and escape me tonight. Lorraine can sleep in the spare room. I've got it all worked out in my mind.
We sit in the living room with a strange teenage vampire movie on TV that Lorraine insists on watching while Eden and I chat and drink another bottle of wine. I'm not really into boys toys like some men are. Nate is positively fanatical over his audio visual stuff, he spends a fucking fortune updating it all the time. A waste of money in my opinion. I have a decent sized TV and reasonable speaker system I suppose. Good enough for me anyway. At ten the film ends and I suggest it's getting late for Mum to be up. I point Lorraine at the bathroom and show her the spare room. I give her a large old t shirt of mine to wear in bed. She happily disappears off to the spare bedroom with her puzzle and a book.
Then I sit alone with Eden for a while. It's time for a proper heart to heart. I'm suddenly nervous, despite the alcohol, and can't look her in the eye. She is immune to me. I can't smile at her and dazzle her with my good looks. She knows everything about me. Somehow I need to make her see me differently. I'm encouraged by the fact that she wanted to get me in her bed last night. For whatever reason, she wanted to be close to me.
“Tell me something, why do you
like me?” I ask her. I'm casting my line but not at all confident I'm going to hook her.
“
You're my best friend, what d'you mean 'why do I like you'?”
“
I just wondered what you see in me, that's all?
”
“
I like lots of different things about you. Why?”
I decide to tell her, carefully... I don't want to scare her off.
“
Well, you know how I feel about you, don't you?”
“
What the fuck are you trying to say. Spit it out or I'll thump you.”
It's not the right time. I can't do it. I wriggle out of it.
“
I'm trying to say I appreciate you. As a best friend. And I love you. That's all.” I pick her hand up and give it a squeeze. “Now then. Get your gear off honey, we're going to bed.”
“
I'll stay here on the sofa, if you don't mind.”
“
No I insist you share my bed tonight. Just make sure you don't fuck me. Again.”
“
And j
ust make sure you don't fuck me either, okay?” She smiles at me. I love her smile. I love everything about her. Even her rattiness and the way she thumps me really hard on the arm.