“Wait.” He shot out a hand and grabbed her forearm in a firm grip. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough that she’d have to use force to get free.
She paused and turned her head toward him slightly but didn’t meet his eyes. “What?” she snapped, tension rolling off her in waves.
He so wasn’t having this conversation with her back to him.
He tugged her around to face him and waited, letting the silence stretch out until she was forced to meet his gaze. Her guard was up; he could see it in the rigid set of her shoulders and the tension around her mouth and eyes.
Blake shook his head, feeling awed and devastated at the same time. He should have told her all this months ago. “I’ve felt guilty as shit for even
thinking
about you as anything but a friend, let alone the way I have for the past three years, and you’re telling me now that all this time you’ve wanted more?” Every time he’d thought about anything other than a platonic relationship with her, he’d instantly shoved the feelings into a bombproof box deep inside him and locked it there. Hell, he’d felt guilty as fuck for fantasizing about her the way he had.
She blinked, her mouth dropping open before she managed to cover her shock. “Why would you feel guilty?”
Seriously? “Jesus, Jordyn, you were like a
sister
to me. For
years
. You know how important your parents are to me and that I’d never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with them, just like I would never do anything that might risk losing you.” He wasn’t even sure when his feelings for her had started to change, he just knew they had a few years back and he’d been damn careful to keep it from both her and Jamie. Fuck, even from himself half the time.
Her eyes widened. “That’s why you stayed away after the funeral? Because you felt guilty about wanting me and worried what my
parents
would think?”
Why did she look so incredulous about that, and did she have to make it sound so stupid? Couldn’t she see the inherent risks involved if he’d done otherwise? The consequences if he’d slept with her that night and things hadn’t worked out afterward? He scrubbed a hand over his face and released her arm. Thankfully, she didn’t storm off and leave him there.
He struggled to organize his chaotic thoughts. Talking about his feelings was torture, but this was way worse. “First off, I didn’t know you had those kinds of feelings for me.”
“Oh, please.”
“I didn’t. I thought it was just a crush or something and that you’d gotten over it a while ago.”
She snorted like he’d just insulted her in the worst manner possible. “A crush, Blake? Like I’m still a stupid teenager or something? Yeah,
no
. Not even close.”
Then what do you feel?
he wanted to blurt out. It was hell to be this close to what he wanted and not know what her true feelings were, even if it was too soon to demand that of her. He itched to touch her, reach out and cup the smooth curve of her cheek in his hand, rub his thumb over that satiny skin. To be the one to take that first step over the wall between them.
Instead, he held himself in check and forced out the rest of it. “Second, what if we did get together, then things didn’t work out and you wound up hating me? Then I’d lose you and your family too.”
Rather than appear offended, she frowned as if she couldn’t understand his thought process. “Why do you assume things wouldn’t work out? We’ve got a hell of a lot more in common than any other couple I know, and we’ve been friends for years. I know you better than anyone.”
All true. But she knew exactly why. Fuck, his heart was pounding like he’d been running for miles. “Jamie would have lost his shit over this.”
“Well, he’s not here, is he? And you’re wrong. He might’ve been shocked or even mad at first, but unless you were planning on just fucking me and walking away, I know he’d have approved of us being together.”
“You think I’d do that?” he demanded, outraged that she’d think so little of him. “You damn well better know I wouldn’t. That’s why I stopped things before they got out of hand—” He broke off with a frustrated sigh. He’d given Jamie his word he’d look out for Jordyn. Blake was pretty sure an adult—very adult—relationship wasn’t what Jamie’d had in mind. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a precipice, and whatever came next would change his life forever.
Hope and need rose inside him at the word
together
, twin bubbles expanding in his chest until it was hard to breathe. “You’re not worried at all about screwing things up?”
Her eyes frosted a little. “No. I’m not Melissa, in case you haven’t noticed.”
The mention of that name didn’t sting the way it used to, but he still hid a wince at the sharp edge in her tone. “I know.” He was well aware that Jordyn was nothing like his ex-fiancée. And besides, his feelings for her were totally different from what he’d felt for Melissa. He’d been young and naive back then, too blinded by heat and lust and fireworks to realize that what they had was merely the appearance of a relationship wrapped in a sexy package.
One that had quickly fallen apart at the seams during his first long deployment. As proof, he’d received the Dear John e-mail four months in. A fucking e-mail to end their engagement, for God’s sake.
“I never liked her,” Jordyn added, folding her arms across her chest.
He huffed out a laugh. “I know you didn’t.” She’d made no secret of that, hadn’t even tried to be friendly to Melissa when he’d brought her to the Bridgers’ house for two weekend visits before they’d gotten engaged.
Jordyn shook her head. “You should’ve listened to me when I told you she wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Yeah, I know that too.” Although if he had, he wouldn’t have learned the valuable lessons he’d learned from the experience, painful though they’d been. After the devastation and heartache had eased enough for him to take a hard look at things, he’d realized he was mourning the loss of something that had only ever existed in his imagination. In hindsight, what he’d had with Melissa was so superficial he couldn’t believe he’d ever thought they could make a marriage work.
This pull between him and Jordyn went far deeper than anything he’d felt before. Their bond was grounded in admiration and the solidity of more than a decade of friendship. Wasn’t that what real love was supposed to be based on? All he knew was, the thought of her with another man made him jealous as fuck. And if anyone ever hurt her the way Melissa had hurt him, he’d happily hunt them down and rip their limbs off for her.
“God, I hated her for what she did to you,” Jordyn continued. “We all did. Don’t let her actions affect the rest of your life.”
He nodded, still struggling to come to grasp with everything she’d said, though he appreciated her calling him on his bullshit. He’d spent nearly two years chasing after a figment of his imagination when the real thing had been right there in front of him the whole time. There was a certain bittersweet irony in that.
But Jordyn was here now. Standing right here, close enough to touch. And she wanted him. Was he dreaming all this? He let everything wash through him, the pent-up need, the longing. Unable to hold back a second longer, Blake reached out and cradled the side of her face, savoring the feel of that silky soft skin against his palm. His blood thrummed heavily through his veins when she sucked in a sharp breath and stared up at him with that mixture of hope and need that tied him in knots.
“So what now?” he asked softly, rubbing his thumb gently across her cheekbone. “What do you want?”
“You. That’s it, Blake. There’s no riddle to decipher, no code to break. I want
you
.” Staring deep into his eyes, she reached up and wrapped her fingers around his wrist, holding him there while she rubbed her cheek against his palm. The tenderness in the gesture turned his heart over.
Lust and satisfaction blasted through him. The painful pressure in his chest eased, relief sweeping aside the doubt and uncertainty. His gaze dropped to her mouth, a silent groan rumbling up inside him when her little pink tongue stole out to lick across her lower lip in a quick, almost nervous motion. Tightening his hand on her face, he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her in close, until only an inch or two of space separated them. “I want you too,” he murmured, and kissed her.
Jordyn let out a soft whimper and grabbed the back of his head with her free hand, the other still locked around his wrist. But he wasn’t going anywhere. Not when he finally had her willing and in his arms again. He took his time kissing her, exploring the shape of her mouth with his lips and tongue. Last time had been desperate and fueled by grief and longing. This time it was slower, softer. Hotter because of the raging fire burning between them.
She opened to the caress of his tongue and leaned fully against him, those small, firm breasts he’d fantasized about for so many nights now pressed to his chest. His arm contracted around her waist, his other hand sliding into her hair to hold her still as he licked and caressed the inside of her mouth. Her sweet scent and taste filled him, made his erection throb painfully against the front of his cargo pants. She eased forward until her pelvis pressed against him, the pressure a sweet torture.
They both heard the footsteps in the stairway at the same time.
Mentally swearing, Blake reluctantly lifted his head and eased away. Jordyn stepped back, breathing as hard as him, her lips pink and shiny and her face flushed, those gorgeous eyes glowing with unfulfilled arousal. He drank it all in and envisioned her spread out for him on a wide bed, naked, her eyes holding that exact same look as he held her arms above her head and buried himself inside her as deep as he could go.
Dunphy emerged through the doorway. His greeting smile faded a little as he looked back and forth between the two of them. “Am I interrupting?”
“No, of course not,” Jordyn blurted, turning back to the bike she’d been working on and picking up a screwdriver.
Dunphy raised an eyebrow at Blake. “Sure?”
“Yeah, we’re sure,” he snapped. “What’s up?” As in,
what the hell do you want
?
“Alex wants us to hit the range to zero our scopes.”
That helped clear the lust-tinged fog clouding Blake’s brain. “He get new intel or something?”
“Think so. Wants us up and ready to move the moment he gets word, so he wants this out of the way.” He leaned his head to the side to see behind Blake. “You too, Jordyn. We’re heading out in ten minutes, so grab your gear.”
“Okay.” She seemed as surprised by the order as Blake was, and shared a questioning look with him. “I’ll just get my rifle.”
As she jogged up the stairs, Blake strode across to the other side of the warehouse to start collecting his equipment. “What’s he want Jordyn there for?” If she was filling a support role, then why did she need to zero her weapon?
“Dunno, and didn’t ask him. You
sure
I didn’t interrupt anything? Because it sure as hell looked like I did. And whatever it was, from how flushed her face was, it must have been
hot
. ”
Blake stopped what he was doing to look back at Dunphy, not liking the teasing glint he saw in the other man’s eyes. Not when it was about something involving Jordyn that could potentially damage her reputation on the team. “You didn’t see shit, Dunphy. And if you say anything to hurt her reputation, you’ll deal with me. ”
The other eyebrow rose to join the first at Blake’s warning tone. “Wow, it’s like that, huh? Good for you, and it’s about damn time, man. My lips are sealed.”
Doubtful, Blake thought sourly as he turned back to his work. Now he not only had to worry about keeping his hands off Jordyn, he had to make sure the sudden shift in their relationship stayed a secret until this job was over.
“Bring him in.”
One of Malik’s bodyguards opened the door and the other pushed the guest inside. A tall, thin man with a twitch in his lips when he was nervous. Right now he was more than nervous. His face had a sheen of sweat on it and his movements were stiff and jerky as he moved fully into the room.
Switching his attention from the man, Malik nodded at his guards, who shut the door. They’d stand just on the other side of it in the hallway and await further instructions. Which would be coming within a few minutes, if he had to guess. From the agitated state his visitor was in, this shouldn’t take long at all.
“Please, sit.” Not a polite invitation, but a quiet order.
The man understood because he immediately dropped into the chair Malik had indicated and clasped his hands in his lap. The knuckles were white with tension, those thin fingers fidgeting restlessly. “Whatever it is they told you I’ve done, they’re lying.”
Ah. In his experience, an admission of innocence before being charged with anything was usually an indication of guilt. Not that Malik was surprised the man was lying. “Is that so?”
The man nodded adamantly. “Yes. I haven’t done anything.”
“Have you not?”
“No. I would never cross you. Never.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I know how…” He paused, seemed to collect himself before licking his lips and continuing. “Your reputation.”
Malik smiled, amused by the comment. “Really. And what reputation do I have?”
Those frantic, dark eyes widened a fraction, then the gaze dropped away. Another signal of guilt. “That your enemies all…disappear.”
“And do you believe such stories?”
His throat moved in a nervous swallow. “Yes.”
Malik pushed away from his desk. “Then that makes me wonder why you would take such a risk by talking with an American spy.”
The man paled visibly, every muscle in his body going rigid. “I didn’t—”
“You
did
.” Malik’s temper surged, dark and dangerous. Did this waste of skin think Malik was stupid? It had been a long time since he’d killed one of his enemies personally, but he was tempted to do so now. Being so close to his goal only to suffer a setback because of weak, spineless men like this was too much to bear.