Another nod. “Dunphy and I both did.”
She raised her brows, trying to hide how much it pleased her that he thought enough of her skills to personally recommend her to his boss. Or maybe Dunphy had and Blake was only the messenger. “Dunphy works with you too?”
“We started together a couple months ago.”
“So what’s the job?” she asked.
“The usual stuff. Stateside and overseas. I promised to come here and deliver a personal invitation to an interview tomorrow in Baltimore. Tom Webster’s the owner of Titanium Security. He’s only in town until Friday morning, so if you want to think it over you’d better decide pretty quickly.”
“Why didn’t you just call me instead of driving up here?”
He searched her gaze. “Would you have talked to me?”
“Probably not.” Not after he’d kissed her like that then run like a fucking coward.
Something moved in his eyes, but she couldn’t say for sure whether it was regret. “That’s why.”
Jordyn hated the bitterness inside her but she didn’t know how to get past it. After pining for him for so long, she’d finally felt his lips on hers, tasted him and run her hands over those delicious muscles in his back and shoulders. One taste, then it had all been snatched away again. “I haven’t done contract work for almost nine months.” She could sure use the extra pay and the change of scenery though. While she loved her job here at the shop, she was getting bored. And having a chance to use her skill set again in the field? Oh, hell yeah.
“But your security clearance is still valid, right?”
“Yeah.” And her shooting was still as good as ever. She and her dad spent hours on the range together firing various weapons to keep their skills sharp. She’d been shooting since she was a kid. “When does your boss need to know by?”
“As soon as possible. Right now would be even better, so I can text him and let him get everything set up.”
Now? Not happening. “I’ll think about it and let you know.”
He didn’t seem surprised by her answer, but Blake was a master of hiding his emotions. He had the best damn poker face she’d ever seen. It drove her nuts. “All right. I’m gonna head out for a beer with your dad.”
“Don’t tell him about the job offer. He won’t be too happy about me signing up for an assignment that might put me overseas again.” And she could just imagine how her mother would react.
“Sure.” His beautiful, gold-flecked eyes swept over her face before he met her gaze again. “It’s good to see you again, Jord.”
“Thanks. You too,” she added grudgingly, even though it was true. She’d been starved for the sight of him. But now that she’d seen him, that old wound had been reopened and all the damn insecurities that came with it rose inside her. Why had he run? Why drop out of her life like that? Did she mean so little to him?
She mentally shook herself. If she was seriously even entertaining the idea of taking this job and maybe working with him at some point on an assignment, then she’d better get past all that baggage in a hurry. He’d clearly moved on. She had to find a way to do the same.
Blake paused, opened his mouth like he wanted to say something else, but then true to his introverted nature, offered a parting smile instead and walked away.
Staring at the back of him as the door closed behind him with a heavy thud, Jordyn dragged a grease-scented hand over her face. What the hell was she supposed to do now? She was already pretty sure she’d take the job if Blake’s boss offered it to her. The money would allow her to pay off the rest of her debt and make a sizeable contribution to the nest egg she’d been socking away to buy a house with.
And if the job came with the potential of having to work with Blake in close quarters? She couldn’t decide whether that was a blessing or a curse.
“More potatoes, Blake?”
He looked up from his dinner. His plate already held a mound of them, along with a pile of homemade pot roast, his hostess’s famous popovers and roasted veggies. “No thanks, Carol.”
Jordyn’s mom smiled at him and passed the gravy boat. “Well there’s lots here, so don’t be shy about helping yourself to more if you want it.”
“Will do.” He still couldn’t believe he was sitting here, doing this, after he’d said no to Senior earlier. Blake had been in the bar nursing a beer with him when Carol had called her husband’s cell and found out Blake was there. After that, he hadn’t had the heart to turn down her excited invitation to dinner. It felt surreal to be seated at the familiar dining room table after all this time. Seeing Jamie’s empty spot across from him and knowing his friend would never sit there again put a hard knot in Blake’s chest.
“It’s like I knew you were coming,” Carol continued. “This always was your favorite meal here.”
“I loved everything you ever made,” he told her.
She beamed at him. “I’m just so happy to have you here again. We’ve missed you.”
And now the knot had a heaping pile of guilt on top of it. “Missed you too.” He had, more than they realized. His withdrawal from their family after the funeral had probably confused them as much as it had hurt them. He hated knowing that.
The back door opened and closed. A moment later he caught the faint scent of soap and shampoo as Jordyn entered the room. She stopped in the doorway when she saw him at the table, then quickly averted her gaze and went around the other side to take her place. “I thought you had to be back in Baltimore tonight,” she said coolly, not looking at him as she helped herself to some of the roast.
“Yeah, but I couldn’t pass up the chance to enjoy your mom’s cooking again.”
She lifted her eyes to his, the serving fork stuck into a slab of meat. The resentment burning there took him off guard, and suddenly he realized he’d hurt her way worse than he’d realized. He’d expected her to be frosty, but not this angry. “I’m sure she would’ve packed some up for the road.”
Ouch.
He hid a wince.
“I asked him to stay, and you missed grace,” Carol interrupted, shooting her daughter a narrow-eyed look. Then she turned to Blake with a smile. “So. What’s brought you out here today?”
He busied himself with cutting into a popover smothered in gravy. “I had to talk to Jordyn about something.”
“Oh?” she looked back and forth between them, but when neither of them said anything more, she focused on Blake again. “What about?”
Senior and Jordyn both got very quiet and kept their eyes on their plates as they ate. Blake set his fork down. He couldn’t lie to the woman who’d been like a second mom to him for so many years. Not when he’d already behaved so cowardly. “A job.”
Her expression froze, the happiness in her eyes dimming. Averting her gaze, she picked up her water glass. “What kind of job?”
Blake darted a glance at Jordyn, but she wouldn’t look at him. He turned back to Carol. “A contracting job with the company I work for.”
She focused on her daughter, her shoulders rigid. “Are you thinking of taking it?”
“All he did was offer me an interview,” Jordyn answered, forking up a mouthful of potatoes loaded with gravy. He couldn’t help but stare at her mouth as her lips wrapped around the fork. “I told him I’d think about it.”
Carol turned her gaze back on Blake. “Is it here stateside? Or is it overseas?”
He could see how upset she was becoming, could practically feel the anxiety radiating from her. In that moment, Jamie’s ghostly presence seemed to fill the room, the reminder of how he’d died pressing in on them all. Blake still couldn’t lie to her. “Probably both.” If Jordyn took the job, chances were good they’d get a decent lead on Hassani in the coming days and they’d be on their way to Pakistan.
Carol flashed a forced smile that wobbled around the edges and held up her glass. “Well. I’m glad you’re here, at any rate. Now eat up before the gravy gets cold,” she finished, her voice rough.
The meal was as delicious as always, and though both Senior and Carol did their best to maintain friendly conversation throughout, they never mentioned Jamie, and Jordyn never said a word to him. He felt her avoidance keenly. Although what did he expect?
After he’d helped clear the table he stood at the sink doing dishes with her. Jordyn’s freshly showered scent was delicious and he was far too aware of the trim yet womanly curves in that long, lean body. Her nails were short and neat as always, a hint of grease under them despite her washing up. Not knowing what to say, he stayed silent as he dried and put away the dishes.
When they were done she pulled the drain stopper out and rinsed out the sink. “Tell Tom I’m interested in hearing more about the job,” she said, her back to him.
Blake stopped in the act of putting the dinner plates back into the cupboard. He’d never expected her to accept the interview. Hell, part of him had hoped she’d turn it down so he wouldn’t be reminded of his guilt every time she walked into the same room. “Okay,” he said slowly. “He’s probably going to want to do it tomorrow. You free to come into Baltimore?”
“I’ll drive in tonight.”
“I can drive you in.”
“No thanks. I’d prefer having my own car.”
Because she’d prefer not to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary. That bothered him, even though he knew it was his fault. He tried for a diplomatic, practical approach. “You know there’s a good chance you’ll be assigned to our team if you get the job.”
She turned to face him, wiping her hands on a dishrag. Her expression was calm, but her eyes were cool. The only other time he remembered her looking at him like that was when she’d found out he’d proposed to Melissa. “Yeah, so? I can handle it.”
He nodded. “I know you can.” She was good at what she did, a dead shot with a rifle and professional on the job. This unresolved friction between them had to go though. “But are you sure? I know it’s not easy on you, and your mom seemed—”
“My mom will get over it. And I’m a big girl, Blake. All grown up and fully capable of making my own decisions.”
The verbal jab hit its mark, making him flinch internally. He was all too fucking aware of just how grown up she was. Had been for a long time. That was half the problem.
“Anyway, if you’re so worried about me taking the job, then why did you drive all the way here to offer me the interview?”
“Because I wanted to see you.” His answer seemed to surprise her into silence. He fought back a sigh. They had to talk about the night of Jamie’s funeral, but he wasn’t going to do it here in her parents’ kitchen. He owed her an explanation and if they were possibly going to work together they had to put this behind them so it wouldn’t get in the way later. “Look, if you’re serious about considering the job, then you’re tough enough to endure a few hours alone with me. So prove it and drive back with me. I’ll bring you home afterward tomorrow.”
She stared at him for a second, then lifted her chin. “You sure you’re comfortable with that? Because you’ve done a damn good job of avoiding me since March.”
Fuck.
He felt like such an asshole for hurting her. He’d missed her like crazy. “I’m sure. We need to talk.”
Measuring him with those dark blue eyes, she finally tossed the damp dish towel onto the counter and walked past him. “Fine. Follow me to my place and give me ten minutes to pack.”
****
Jordyn’s stomach was a tangled ball of nerves but she refused to let it show.
After so much time apart it was hard to be confined in the front seat of the SUV and not stare at Blake as he drove. She still could hardly believe he’d walked into the shop today. But she was absolutely not going to make a fool of herself a second time and let him know she still loved him—had never stopped. And not a familial
I love you like blood
, although she absolutely did.
No, she was
in
love with him, in the intense and painful unrequited way only a woman who’d fallen for him as a lovesick teenager could. For years she’d hidden her feelings for him, burying them deep in the layers of the camaraderie and trust they’d forged during his friendship with Jamie. Now she was twenty-three to his twenty-nine, plenty old enough for him to finally
see
her. He’d fractured that trust when he’d all but cut contact since Jamie’s funeral. And still her heart wouldn’t let go of him.
“So, your mom’s good? And John?” she asked a minute after they’d left her place because she had to say something to alleviate the palpable tension between them. Blake had the radio on low and the wiper blades swished every few seconds to clear the light rain falling.
“Both doing great. They travel quite a bit, and every couple of months they go back to Louisiana to see my sisters and their kids. They’re real hands-on grandparents.”
“I bet. And knowing your mother, she’s no doubt impatient for you to get married and give her more grandkids.”
“Pretty much, yeah,” he said with a fond smile.
God, the thought of him settling down and having a family with someone else put a crushing weight on her chest. His parents were wonderful people and their family was as tight as hers despite their geographical separation. Their lives could easily have been much different. After his biological father had taken off when Blake was just a baby, his mom had raised him on her own until Blake was five and she’d met John. They’d gotten married soon after and had two daughters together, yet John had never treated Blake as anything but his own son. Jordyn respected the hell out of the man for that.
“Do you see them often?” she asked.
“Not often enough. I’ve been all over the place working contract jobs.”
That was the excuse he’d chosen to explain why he’d practically disappeared from everyone’s lives for more than half a year. The small talk was grating on her nerves though and they couldn’t keep dancing around the real issue at hand. She pushed out a long breath. “So, let’s just do this. About that night,” she began.
It was subtle, but she didn’t miss the slight tightening of his expression and the way his grip shifted on the steering wheel. Still, he nodded. “Yeah, about that.”