The Wild Duchess/The Willful Duchess (The Duchess Club Book 1) (26 page)

“
I
can’t believe
we’re to change for dinner tonight. Let’s ring and let Mrs. Clark know we’d rather eat here in our room.” Starr shifted away from the windows. “Father wants to be upstairs. He hasn’t left her side since last night. I see no need to go through the ritual when it’s just us.”

“God, what a night last night!” Scarlett brushed out her hair, as Starr continued pacing the bedroom wringing her hands. “Daisy said Mother is feeling much better and that Uncle Rowan just left. She said it was Mother’s ulcers and an infection that caused her to be so violently ill but that all is quiet now.”

“It was so—horrible!”

“Yes, but…Mother will mend and we have…Starr, you’re engaged!” Scarlett put down her brush. “I know it was a very uneven experience and there was hardly time for anyone to begin congratulating you—but the happy news still stands. Lord Hayle asked you to marry him and Father gave you his blessing and even more miraculously, you said yes!”

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Why don’t you look more pleased, dearest?”

“I cannot marry Ryder now! Father needs me and—if Mother is terribly ill, then shouldn’t we wait to—”

Scarlett stood from her vanity to rush to her sister. She grabbed Starr by the shoulders and gave her a firm shake. “I will strike you if I have to, Tara. You will marry Ryder Maitland and be ridiculously happy, do you hear me? Mother will never forgive you if you make some misguided gesture of self-sacrifice—if you deny yourself the life that you deserve!”

“But what if it’s truly serious this time?”

Scarlett shook her head. “It can’t be. Uncle Rowan and Aunt Gayle are seeing to her and they are bound to get things under control. And even if they weren’t the most amazing healers to be found, then you owe it to Mother to make her smile. All she wants is for you to be happy, Tara. How can she get better if she thinks that everything is ruined because of her illness? She’ll take it to heart. You know she will!”

“She would, wouldn’t she? I don’t know. Nothing seems right.”

Scarlett took her hands to hold them gently, to warm them with hers. “It isn’t. But life isn’t about perfection. It’s about making the best of what we have.”

Starr nodded slowly. “Making the best of what we have.” She sighed and then gripped her sisters hands to reverse the hold. “What about you then? What are you going to do, Scarlett?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Stafford was there, too. He was with our parents when it happened. He had blood all over his hands…”

“I—don’t know what you’re asking me. He was there. That is all I know.”

“He was there to ask me for my blessing,” Ashe interrupted them from the doorway. “He was…determined to have it.”

“What? H-he asked you for my hand?” Scarlett turned to face him, her eyes wide with shock. “To
marry
me?”

“He did.”

“What did you say?”

“All the wrong things. Your mother is very unhappy with me for it, too.” Ashe crossed his arms. “He said he’d been begging for you to marry him in a series of letters but…I may have accidentally burnt them as each one arrived.”

“Father!”

“Your mother has already punished me by nearly dying for that last confession so go easy on an old man! I meant to protect you. I was convinced he was not the right man for you but—I was wrong. That is—I was wrong if you
want
me to be wrong, Scarlett. I can still be right. Not that I’d take pleasure in it, but a man does enjoy being right sometimes.”

“Oh, Father!” Scarlett pressed her fingers against her lips.

“Was I right?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I…there’s so much to consider.”

“Good.” Ashe came into the room and drew them both into his arms, the way he had from the time they were small. “I’m sorry, Buttons. I nearly ruined everything.”

“We love you, Father,” they said in unison and brought tears to his eyes.

He released them gruffly, struggling to regain his footing. “I have to go back to be with your Mother. I’ll send word to Hayle not to call for a few days. It will give him time to come back with a decent engagement gift. Shall I tell him books or jewelry, Starr?”

“Jewelry,” she said with a quiet smile.

“That’s my girl,” Ashe sighed with contentment. “Scarlett, we’ll…talk about Stafford in the morning. He isn’t going anywhere.”

“Yes, Father.” Scarlett kept her head down until he was gone.

“Lettie?” Starr asked. “What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore. Dear God, Tara, I’m drowning.” She vaulted into action, opening her wardrobe to retrieve a coat and gloves.

“What are you doing?”

“I have calls to make.”

“At
this
hour?”

“I’ll be back before long. Tell Mrs. Clark not to set aside a dinner plate for me.”

Starr nodded, stunned into silence but then managed just as Scarlett was leaving to say, “Good luck.”

Scarlett bolted down the stairs and spotted Mr. Godwin in the foyer. “Godwin, I’m going out. If Father asks, please reassure him that I took James with me for protection.”

“Yes, Miss Blackwell. Very well.”

Scarlett fought not to gasp at the transition. She was a woman grown at last, but she felt so wounded and so fragile, it was an odd contradiction to wield power over her own life at last. “Thank you, Godwin. Tell James to bring the carriage around immediately.”

Within minutes, she was on her way.

“Where are we headed, Miss Blackwell?” James asked after he closed the carriage door.

“We have two stops to make. The Duke of Stafford’s and then…the Duke of Chesterton’s. As quickly as you can manage it, James.”

“Yes, Miss Blackwell.”

Two stops.

Pray to God that I know what I want to do before I get there…

“
T
here is
a Miss Scarlett Blackwell to see you, Your Grace.”

“At this hour?” Elgin pushed the papers on his desk aside. “Send her in! Send her in, man!”

He straightened, winced a bit at the spasm that ripped down his back but he shook off the pain.
She’s come.

“Miss Blackwell,” he greeted her as she came through the doors to his study. “It is late but I only say that so decorum is served and I can say that I protested when in fact, I’m delighted to see you at any hour.”

“You are too kind, Your Grace.”

“Here, sit here. Would you like some sherry? Or even a bit of port?”

“No, thank you.” She sat down, a beautiful bird of paradise in the masculine atmosphere of the room. “I am too nervous to partake.”

“How is your mother?”

“Better. We are all so worried about her but Father is determined that she will recover and I’ve never known anything on Heaven or Earth to defy him when he has a full head of steam.” She pressed her fingers against her cheeks to cool them. “It was terrifying, wasn’t it?”

“It was. She is such a sweet lady. My heart goes out to your family now.” He took the seat across from her. “It goes without saying that if there is anything you need you have but to ask.”

“Your Grace, I am ready to talk to you about…your proposal.”

He shook his head. “No. Not like this. Not if grief and fear for your mother has driven you to my door, Scarlett. We are true friends and I would never forgive myself for making any agreement when you were struggling and perhaps not yourself.”

She sighed, her eyes filling with tears. “See? See how kind you are to me?”

“Miss Blackwell!” He held out his handkerchief. “There, there!”

“Your Grace, please. Let me get through this in one ridiculous rush. Agreed?”

“Of course. Agreed. Please say whatever it is you came to say.” He looked at her as solemnly as a man awaiting sentence in a court of law. “I did not mean to hinder you.”

“I used to think that love was a very simple proposition. Especially for me, being a Blackwell. I would meet a man, lose my heart, and for better or worse, my fate would be determined. One toss of the dice, one outcome, one chance.” Scarlett sighed, a ragged cascade that betrayed her emotions. “If you looked through the pages quickly, it is exactly the story one would see…but there is more, isn’t there?”

“I hope so,” he whispered.

“We are true friends, you and I. True friends never turn their backs, never fail to come when they are needed and they never…allow someone to face their fears alone.”

“Are you going to marry me, Miss Blackwell?” he asked.

She looked at him, her heart in her eyes, and slowly shook her head. “No, Your Grace.”

“But, you just said…”

“I am going to be with you. I’m going to make you laugh and keep you company and hold your hand. I’m going to do all of those things and with Talon’s understanding and support.”

“You betrayed my secret to him?”

Scarlett sighed. “No. I couldn’t.”

“What are you saying, Miss Blackwell?”

“I went to him tonight and told him that I would marry him on one condition. First, that the engagement would last for at least a year, if not longer to allow me to be available to attend the people I love in their illnesses and to be with them as much as I need to be with them—without question.” She reached up to push back a curl that had fallen onto her cheek. “I told him I could not begin a new life with him if it tore me apart to be away from my own heart.”

“He’ll assume you meant your mother. And I am…you don’t love me, Miss Blackwell. I would hardly qualify for—”

“Love isn’t a gem with one facet or one color to shine out into the world, Your Grace, remember? It has depth and infinite possibilities. That’s what you said to me that day. You said we could love each other as friends and put the rest of the world to shame with the purity of it.”

“Talon Rush will not…appreciate the arrangement. I doubt he’ll wish to share you with…even with me under those conditions. You’re asking too much of him and I don’t think he…would wish…you to be…”

“You underestimate me but you also underestimate the Duke of Stafford. Talon loves you. I think you are like a father to him in many ways and you are wrong to leave him from this.” She reached over to touch Elgin’s hand. “You are wrong to leave out Lord Hayle, and your sister, and all those who love you, Your Grace. It is not my place to direct you but I am begging you to open up to the depth and infinite possibilities that might mean a good man deserves to feel loved before he leaves this world. You deserve so much. I will do my best but alone, it seems unfair to place it all into my hands, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what to think. I meant for it to be so tidy.”

She leaned back in her chair. “I’m glad it’s not. I am being the selfish one now, Your Grace. I get to be with my friend and do all that I can for him for as long as he’ll allow it—and then I get to marry the man I love and spend the rest of my life with him. It just so happens that they are two different men. I am apparently a very fortunate woman.”

“I will tell them. Ryder and Stafford and my family. I want them to know and for there to be no shadow, no question of your honor and your commitment to me as a friend.” He smiled. “And you’ll be a duchess, after all.”

“A very wild duchess by all accounts, Your Grace. What do you say?”

“You truly mean it? You’re certain?”

She nodded, the tears coming at last. “If you still want me…I would like to be the one to sit with you and when the time comes, I want to hold your hand.”

“Thank God…oh, thank God…for you Scarlett Blackwell.”

He stood and pulled her into his arms for a great bear hug and they wept shamelessly, two souls clinging together to face the storms ahead.

G
rey blanketed
the landscape as the rain fell in unrelenting sheets, a tangible mist giving weight to every leaf, petal and branch, soaking the mourners to the bone and even making the black ostrich feathers on the undertaker’s horses’ heads look like melted beetle-like antennas that bobbed inconsolably. The black crepe draped carriage had become a bedraggled affair as the procession made its way to the graveyard.

The small crowd that braved the weather and the cold stood in a bleak semi-circle around the open gash in the earth’s crust, so fresh a wound that it was painful to look at. Starr leaned heavily against Ryder as his arm encircled his wife protectively, her rounded belly making her steps clumsy and uncertain. She stole a glance at Scarlett and both of them knew that there was nothing to say to alleviate the pain of the day.

Scarlett had a firm hold on Talon’s supportive arm, her grief threatening to break like a storm against the shore. Through her tears, she watched her father make his way to stand between them, his two daughters and the men they loved.

A lump formed in her throat and she put her gloved hand to her neck as if to dismiss the choking ache. She and Talon had put the wedding off a few more months. It felt right to wait while she grieved and recovered from their loss.

Scarlett looked again at her father, alone in the rain but not alone. She hated the way his black wool coat made him seem gaunt and lifeless. She hated the way he was staring into the open grave as the casket was lowered down. The raw distress in his eyes sent shivers down her spine.

He shouldn’t be here. He cannot bear this. Any of this. We should have spared him.

“Ashes to ashes and dust to dust…” The minister intoned and Scarlett heard little more but the drone and cadence of his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain pattering against her bonnet. She was grateful for the black lace veil that covered her face.
It isn’t ladylike to bray like a donkey. Mother would be mortified…

At last, it was over and they all made their way to their family home without any conversation.

Godwin met them at the door with hot toddies, relieving them of their wet coats and wraps and providing them with warm dry blankets and scarves. “There is a fire in the drawing room and I took the liberty of setting out some luncheon in case anyone is hungry.”

“Thank you, Godwin,” Scarlett said. “It is so thoughtful of you. Please thank Cook and Mrs. Clark.”

“I hate funerals,” Ashe said at last.

No one argued to the contrary. “Father, why don’t you go upstairs and check on Mother? I’m sure she’s anxious to see that you didn’t melt in the rain.”

“I’m not that sweet, Starr, like sugar to disintegrate in the rain but you’re right. If you’ll excuse me, I shall leave you four to it.” He went over to Scarlett to place a kiss on her forehead. “Elgin was a good man, Lettie.”

“Thank you, Father. I’m going to miss him.”

“Of course, you will. He was your friend and it is the best tribute you can give him.” He stepped back and then offered his hand to Talon. “I’m sorry for your loss as well.”

Talon shook his hand, grateful for how far they’d come in the last few months. The truce had done more than hold, it had strengthened as time went on and as Chesterton had brought them together. “Thank you, Mr. Blackwell.”

Ashe left them alone and they sat down, the four of them, to console and commiserate as best they could. The men poured themselves a brandy while the ladies refrained from the indulgence. “What an ugly day,” Ryder sighed. “I’m never sure why anyone thinks rain at a funeral is appropriate—or welcome.”

“I don’t know where the custom comes from,” Starr said. “I shall…try to look it up.”

Ryder smiled and shared a look across the way with Talon. They both enjoyed the way the women’s minds worked, even in the midst of sorrow.

“He was the wisest man I ever knew,” Talon offered.

“He would not argue against that claim,” Ryder said with a laugh. “My uncle was many things, but shy about claiming a compliment, I’m afraid not.”

“He used to say he was a work in progress, a draft of the better man he hoped to become. But I swear, I cannot see where he meant to make improvements.” Talon looked to Scarlett. “He made me a better man for knowing him.”

Scarlett nodded then shifted to stand and moved to stand near the fireplace, willing herself not to cry. “We all owe him so much.” She turned back to them with a smile. “He was above all, a very talented matchmaker.”

“The best,” they all agreed nearly in one voice.

Starr stood as well to join Scarlett and to hold her hand. “You meant the world to him, Lettie. I never thought it possible, but you defied convention and you proved what it means to love someone—and in doing so, I think Talon knows he is the luckiest man in the world to have you.”

Scarlett sighed. “I feel the same way about him. Father was right about being a Blackwell, about how we don’t do anything in half measures. I finally discovered my gift, my purpose, my passion. I think it’s just to love. I loved Elgin enough to…stay by him when he needed me most and now, Talon is my world. When we’re married and children come, I cannot think of wanting anything more. It’s all I ever really wanted, Tara.”

Starr smiled, with tears in her eyes. “Then you have conquered the world, after all.”

“We both have, Starr.”

We have followed our hearts and conquered the world.

All hail the Duchess Club!

THE END