The Wild Duchess/The Willful Duchess (The Duchess Club Book 1) (11 page)

“I don’t believe so.”

“Are you certain?”

Scarlett sighed. “Uncle Rowan, I am certain of nearly nothing. I like him too much to discuss it and I—find that I like arguing with him more than I like agreeing with almost anyone else.”

“Were you arguing with him today?”

“No. Today was…Truces are even more agreeable, but please don’t tell Father. He has a very low opinion of dukes or—of any man over the age of fifteen presently. Nothing happened. Nothing—illicit.” She slowed her steps and squeezed his arm, desperate to make her point. “I know the boundaries. I will not cross them. I am not that foolish, so please, trust me. I need to find my own way.”

He nodded slowly. “I trust your judgment, Scarlett. It’s not your head I’m worried about, but the heart can overtake you. Be careful. I will only tell your parents that he was here today. Fair enough?”

“Fair enough. Thank you, Uncle Rowan.”

“No more kissing the Duke of Stafford in gardens, do you hear me?”

She blushed furiously, her cheeks stained with pink. “I hear you.”

“God, how did I draw the short straw?” he sighed, then tucked her hand back into the crook of his arm to continue their walk. “Ashe will murder me if he finds out.”

“Would it be bad timing if I told you how much I love you, Uncle Rowan?”

Rowan smiled. “Terrible timing. Be sure to put flowers on my grave, will you?”

Scarlett laughed and within just a minute or two, Dr. Rowan West joined her.

Death be not proud…

“
I
didn’t realize
you were such a fan of tragedies,” Starr whispered to Scarlett as the lights dimmed in the ornately designed Theatre Royal Haymarket. In their balcony box, it was clear that everyone in attendance was as interested in seeing each other as they might be in the performance on stage.

“Shh! I’m trying to concentrate,” Scarlett replied quickly.

“It hasn’t started yet. What level of concentration does it take to watch a curtain go up?”

“Tara, please. I’m sure Mrs. Martin is excited to see things unfold. Aren’t you, Mrs. Martin?”

Sabrina nodded. Once again, she had stepped in as an unlikely chaperone for the evening. She was openly in awe of the décor and the lovely proscenium arch, sighing and gasping in turn much to the twins’ amusement. They had been invited to attend the play by the Duke of Chesterton but Elgin was terribly late so the women had been forced to take their places in his balcony box seats by themselves.

The situation suited Scarlett just fine since she had not seen Chesterton since her interlude with Stafford at Amersham’s. She wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it. The men were friends and it seemed like there was some kind of betrayal in that kiss.

Or was there? Is kissing a man when you are pretending to be courted by his best friend a betrayal? Does one confess to such a thing? Or would I be destroying their real friendship over some…imaginary trespass? The kiss wasn’t imaginary. My lack of sleep ever since it happened has not been a concoction of my fantasies.

God, what a mess!

The play began and after a few minutes, Scarlett tried to lose herself in poor Hamlet’s crisis of conscience. It certainly superseded her own in scope if not in immediacy.

Danish princes do know how to drag a decision out!

Starr knew every one of Shakespeare’s plays by heart. Scarlett envied her as she shifted forward in her seat, holding her breath along with Mrs. Martin, riding the waves of language and emotion as each wove through the story. Scarlett glanced back again at the curtain behind them, listening for the door. She tried to take comfort that even if Chesterton arrived now, conversation would not really be possible.

A stay of execution.

At last, there was the quiet sound of the doorway being opened by the theatre attendant and Scarlett nearly cried out at the sight of Talon Rush in his evening finery coming through the curtains. He smiled at her and then took his place behind the ladies, as if all was just as it should be.

Mrs. Martin didn’t even notice the addition to their party as she gripped Starr’s hand in horror as Hamlet’s dead father’s ghost began to rattle his chains.

Scarlett opened her fan to try to cool her cheeks. It was a guilty pleasure to see Stafford again and a strange kind of torture to have him so near, to be unable to speak. He was sitting directly behind her and she closed her eyes, marveling at the connection between them. It was as if she could read his thoughts if she tried hard enough.

Finally, curiosity won out and she discreetly shifted to look back at him.

He was looking only at her without a single glance at the stage. His features were lit by the glow from the stage lights below and it took her breath away. Talon Rush was always handsome but in the gaslight, he looked otherworldly as if he’d been tipped in gold.

He gave her a hungry and unsettling look, stood up and stepped back slip through the heavy velvet curtains.

It made no sense but she counted to one hundred and then silently excused herself to follow him.
Enough is enough. I have to find him while the others are watching the play to explain that—

She’d expected to proceed out the door and find him in the corridor but he was there, in the dark tight space between the thick, sound masking barrier of the curtains and the closed, insulated door. It was shocking to realize that within six feet of her sister and her chaperone, they were in a quiet and incredibly intimate bubble away from prying eyes.

He gently pulled her close. “Shh! We must speak in whispers.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Why do you ask me that, Miss Blackwell, every single time I see you?”

“Perhaps because I’m not yet used to the amazing sensation of you materializing without warning.”

“I have Elgin’s appointment book, remember?”

“Have you murdered him to take his place? Should I worry about his safety?”

“There’s an idea I had not had!”

Scarlett smiled. “I have a wicked imagination.”

Talon’s fingertips found her chin and tilted her face up for a kiss. Whatever arguments she has composed and all of Uncle Rowan’s warnings evaporated. He kissed her as he had before but in the dark, it was a new experience. She had an awareness of him, of the heat of his body as she was pressed against him, of how she fit into his arms and how electric each caress of his mouth against hers became. Every part of her felt alive and open to him, as if she had been crafted to accept his touch, to kiss him, to cling to him.

It took every ounce of her will power to push him away. “I promised I wouldn’t kiss you in any more gardens but this seems…I am definitely disobeying the spirit of my vow if not the letter of it, Your Grace.”

He stopped kissing her but continued to hold her close in his arms. “I see your point.”

“I am a terrible friend to Chesterton, aren’t I?”

“God, you cut a man to the quick! If anyone is a wretched friend, it is me.”

“We must stop this. I wish to behave. You are not the only one who was once proud of their self-control.”

“I agree. It is tawdry to take advantage of you like this. I’m sorry for it.”

“This is not—acceptable.”

“I don’t want to agree but I probably should. Even so, you are not engaged, Miss Blackwell. Or is it that the effect of my kisses make you question your attachment to Elgin? Are you—do you have affections for Chesterton?”

“Don’t do that. The honorable thing to do is to speak to the Duke of Chesterton. I will do so at the first opportunity but until then I must ask you to please refrain from…touching me and from making any more public appearances on Chesterton’s behalf. I have never denied my humanity. You are probably too used to playing games with women of experience and guile. I am loathe to disappoint you but I have neither of these things, Your Grace.”

“I would not change a single hair on your head.”

“Do not say such things. It is too...perfect and I am doing my best to be unaffected.”

“Scarlett, it was never my intention to—God, I’m getting tired of apologizing!”

She smiled in the darkness, pressed her splayed hand against his beating heart. “No doubt, but you are getting so good at it with practice.”

His hand covered hers and she sighed at how marvelous it felt. “A new talent I never knew I possessed, Miss Blackwell. Your influence is growing exponentially. I want to vow to behave, Miss Blackwell, but I have the feeling that when it comes to you, I have no power. The power is all yours.”

“The power is all mine,” she whispered. The words were so potent and so sweet in her mouth that Scarlett could feel herself pushing off the cliff to the fall. This time it was her move, she was the one who reached up to pull his face to hers, to kiss him, to compel him to kiss her back and more deeply than before. It was magic and a mysterious hunger soared through her body at the change between them. Tenderness began to fall away and her mouth opened to his, the shock of his tongue against hers instructing her in ways she could not describe.

This. He is… More. I can only… oh, God, let there be more!

It was Talon who ended it, far more abruptly than before but Scarlett instinctively knew that she had inadvertently increased the stakes. They were both in self-preservation mode and the time for polite apologies was gone.

“I am a wanton thing, Your Grace.”

“You are perfection.”

He released her completely, stepped back and then simply left through the door, latching it behind him to leave her alone in the dark to recover her sanity.

Scarlett waited. She waited for her heart to slow, for her breath to calm and for all her senses to become reined in until she finally began to feel the texture of the wallpaper, the pinch of her slippers and the muffled sound of an actor’s oratory through the distance of the auditorium.

After several long minutes, the curtains parted and Starr peered in anxiously into the dim space to find her there.

“Are you all right? Where did you go?”

“I…haven’t the heart for a tragedy tonight,” she confessed. “I was hiding like a toddler from a punishment.”

“Oh, Lettie! Why didn’t you say something? We’ll go home at the intermission.”

Scarlett smiled and stepped back into the box to take her seat. “No, we cannot cheat Mrs. Martin out of the experience and cut short her lovely evening.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She gave Starr’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be fine!”

She settled in at last and accepted that “to be or not to be” was
not
the only question.

If falling in love is a decision, I wonder if I’ll know when I’ve come to it…or if I only think I’m teetering but truly, I’ve already jumped…

L
ater that night
, the twins ended up sitting together in the midst of Scarlett’s great four-poster bed. It was a habit from their childhood that had never faded, to curl up on the bed to whisper and share the events of the day, to review triumphs and misadventures with equal relish.

“I think I am in terrible trouble, Tara.”

“Everyone thinks you are so saucy and brave with all your mischief. But it’s bravado and a show. You may fool all the world but you can’t fool me. Lettie, you’re the softest soul on this earth. So terrified to love or to—”

“Tara! You are my other half. Please.” Her eyes filled with tears but she smiled, a defiant gesture that gave total credence to her sister’s words. “Don’t say it. I should never have—spoken as I did. My head is cool with the wiser choice, the safer path but my heart…My heart isn’t interested in wisdom.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I will be. But I will arrive at my contentment on my own course and under my own power, dearest, of that I am certain.” Scarlett shivered. “Love isn’t…what I expected it to be.”

“I do not know what to expect.” Starr’s voice caught and Scarlett’s attention shifted instantly.

“Are you unhappy, Starr?”

“How could I be unhappy?”

“Don’t say that. I feel as if I’ve left you out lately. I admit there is a thrill to stepping out on my own. To being…myself and not one of two but I worry that I’ve hurt you in all of it.”

“It is tiresome to be either salt or pepper, isn’t it?” Starr sighed. “We’ve always talked about it. The dream of independence. I’m happy for you, Scarlett. I am not envious of your success. Instead, I’m inspired. After all, my ambitions are my own and if you can push out on your own feet, then I have confidence enough to do the same.”

“You should have nothing but confidence. You have Mother’s support, Starr. She knows you want to teach at Bellewood and has never spoken against it. She just…”

“I know. They want me to have a Season or two to experience all that life has to offer before I retreat to the spinsterly calling of a teacher. The way Father looks at me when I speak of it, you’d think I truly was vowing to enter a convent.”

Scarlett laughed. “There! You have your strategy now. Simply tell Father you’re either to teach or you’ll lock yourself away in sackcloth and ashes and he’ll see the university for the happier choice.”

“I do admire the way you think.”

“And I you.”

Scarlett sobered a little. “I wish I had a better idea of where my toes should be pointed…”

“You’ll be lucky in love, Scarlett. I can feel it. If anyone deserves that kind of happiness, it’s you.”

“Do I?”

“I know I fussed about a bit about the young handsome Stafford trailing after your skirts but I am the last person to hold you back from the race. You cannot let fear keep you from your chance.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“You aren’t, are you?” Her voice held an element of wonder and surprise. “Well, I am. I am terrified. To love completely is to risk everything and even if you win, that kind of joy comes at a terrible price. Trust me, every time I look at you, I know it’s true. I cannot imagine life without you, Scarlett, but it doesn’t stop me from loving you as I do.”

“You’re right. I feel the same. Nothing is promised, is it?”

“No, nothing. I will cheer you on, dearest, and live vicariously as I can.”

“What are my girls up to so late?” Caroline addressed them from the doorway. “May I join in?”

“Oh, yes, please!” They shifted to make room for her and she informally climbed up to sit at the bottom of the bed. In her silk robe and her nightgown, with her hair trailing down her back, she could have been a contemporary or even another member of the Duchess Club, but the twins treasured their mother’s friendship even more than any peer’s.

Starr quickly wiped her cheeks to hide her distress. “I was…lamenting that men are so difficult and then when they are being charming, it is almost worse, isn’t it?”