Authors: Nancy Frederick
Hiring the nanny had not been enough. The nanny was instructed never to leave Lissa
’
s side. She was told that Uno had a serious condition, that he must never be trusted to stay alone with the child. Addie was certain the girl had confessed to Ted what had been told to her, but she swore she had never said a word. But still, it wasn
’
t enough. Ted was there and she was not. Who knew what he was doing?
Addie, distraught, sat with Lissa and grilled her.
“
What do you and Daddy do when you
’
re alone?
”
she asked casually.
“
Oh play, you know,
”
answered the child.
“
Read books. Daddy likes Barbies, did you know that? We go on
‘
ventures.
”
“
And does Daddy ever touch you?
”
“
Tickle time,
”
exclaimed the child, giggling.
“
Not my feet though, I won
’
t allow that, not ever.
”
Addie stood beyond the perimeter of the scene, watching her young self as a mother, her arms tightly wrapped across her chest. She was determined not to let these scenes affect her too closely, but she couldn
’
t help smiling at her daughter
’
s precocity.
“
But you
’
re a big girl now, aren
’
t you?
”
asked Addie.
“
You
’
re practically all grown up. Soon you will be as tall as Mommy.
”
Lissa nodded as Addie continued,
“
And big girls don
’
t really sit in daddies
’
laps, do they?
”
Lissa squinted, thinking about this, but she clearly wasn
’
t certain this was true.
“
Oh yes, sure they do. They sit in daddies
’
laps, read books, eat pops, watch TV. Big girls do it all the time.
”
“
No, no,
”
said Addie, the voice of reason.
“
They never do. You can
’
t be a big girl sitting in a daddy
’
s lap. You have to promise me, promise you are going to be a big girl.
”
Lissa stared deeply into Addie
’
s eyes, still a little bewildered, somewhat put off by the seriousness of Addie
’
s tone. But she said nothing.
Addie grasped Lissa
’
s hand tightly until the child scowled, forcing her to change her approach.
“
You like secrets, don
’
t you? I know you do.
”
Lissa nodded happily as Addie continued,
“
Well, this can be our secret. Daddy doesn
’
t have to know you
’
re working hard on being a big girl. After all he doesn
’
t work any more, so he doesn
’
t have anything to do. He likes you staying a baby. If it were up to Daddy, you
’
d be a baby forever. You wouldn
’
t want that, would you?
”
“
I
’
m not a baby!
”
exclaimed Lissa.
“
Of course not! You
’
re big, very big. And big girls say no thank you when Daddy says sit in my lap, big girls sit in their own chairs. Big girls spend time with their friends, not their daddies. That
’
s what big girls do. And maybe, since you
’
re such a big girl, you might like to have a play date this week. With another big girl.
”
Lissa nodded, but her face was shadowy as she contemplated what had been said.
“
I had to protect her,
”
insisted Addie.
“
She was there with him every day, and had to be warned.
”
“
What was it you were protecting her from?
”
asked Mae.
“
You know, I know you know.
”
Addie
’
s voice had grown hushed, and she sounded almost childlike.
“
Maybe I missed that scene. Why don
’
t you tell me,
”
said Mae calmly.
“
He would have hurt her. Of course. He would. You knew that,
”
insisted Addie.
“
He looked very devoted to me,
”
said Mae.
“
You
’
re just not seeing it all,
”
said Addie, frustrated but adamant.
“
Look,
”
she continued, but then she was distracted by something in the scene she had never noticed at the time she lived it.
There in the doorway watching her conversation with Lissa was Ted, his eyes burning with rage and sorrow. Had he been there all along? How had Addie missed that?
“
So that explains it,
”
said Addie softly.
“
I thought he never would have had the courage to leave me then
—
I was his meal ticket.
”
“
Wait a minute,
”
said Mae,
“
He was a doctor, wasn
’
t he? No gambling or drinking problem, right? So didn
’
t he have plenty of his own money?
”
“
Why are you here exactly? I mean it
’
s not as though you
’
re up for the part of Addie in the story of my life, are you? Do they have plays up here?
”
Mae laughed, then said,
“
Don
’
t think the part
’
s quite right for me, honey.
”
Cerise put her arm around Addie
’
s waist and said,
“
I told you Mae is a teacher here. She
’
ll help you make sense of these relationships. Just trust a little.
”
“
I know you
’
re hurting, Addie, and have felt alone all your life. I
’
m part of your team, on your team. I won
’
t lead you wrong, I promise,
”
said Mae.
“
Everything here done by team,
”
said Long Feather.
“
So I
’
ve got regular spirits and what
—
free lance troubleshooters?
”
asked Addie, only partially serious.
“
Guides will pop in and out when you need them,
”
said Cerise.
Mae reached out and enveloped Addie in her arms, holding her gently yet tightly.
“
Relax,
”
whispered Mae. Addie sighed, feeling her energy slow down, her inner vibration becoming peaceful, her fear dissolving.
Addie turned her attention to a scene off in the distance, and watched herself sitting at a conference table for the first time with The Deuce, Arthur Bittman, a man to whom she would normally never have been attracted. Her sobs had turned to hiccoughs, and each sentence was punctuated by one or the other.
“
And, yes, I came home to find all my clothes packed in suitcases, and even garbage bags! The locks were changed. And he was holding my baby a hostage!
”
Addie
’
s tears flowed violently down her cheeks, her breath coming in huge gasps.
“
I went to a motel, and my credit cards had all been cancelled. The bank accounts had been emptied out. And even my stock portfolio was frozen. I had to sleep on the couch at my publicist
’
s house. Humiliating. And I told you
—
my baby is being held hostage
—
and you know what
—
I
’
ve seen signs he
’
s planning to molest her. Too much time in his lap. He
’
s an old man, you know. And he
’
s been taking her to the sanatorium where his ex-wife resides
—
among dangerous psychotics and addicts
—
it
’
s no place for a small child.
”
The Deuce looked calmly at Addie, taking her hand in his.
“
And you
’
ve arranged now for your own moneys to go into a separate account?
”
Addie nodded, sobbing.
“
Do you know how frightening this is? I tried to get the police to break down the door, but they wouldn
’
t.
”
“
Well, don
’
t you worry. I
’
ll have your daughter out of there by this afternoon, tomorrow at the latest.
”
Artie patted Addie
’
s hand so calmly that she felt herself taking comfort in the motion. She looked deeply into his eyes and felt he could be trusted.
“
See that,
”
she said to the guides,
“
That was the moment in which I knew he would take care of me. And he did, well at least he liberated Lissa. And I got my money back. Didn
’
t even have to go to court.
”
A scene unfamiliar to Addie began to play.
“
Look at that,
”
said Addie, quite agitated,
“
It
’
s Esther back home in my house, in a chair I had recovered, so obviously it was after she left Ted, after he and I got together. When did this happen? Ohh,
”
she sighed,
“
I see….
”
Ted knelt beside Esther, wrapping an afghan tightly around her lap, taking her hand tenderly in his.
“
I
’
ll spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness,
”
he said softly, his eyes glistening.
“
No,
”
replied Esther,
“
That
’
s no way to live. I forgive you right now, today, and we
’
ll hear no more about it. Let
’
s just be happy from now on, shall we? Focus on the good.
”
“
At least I taught that scheming little bitch a lesson. You should have seen her face when she came home and the locks had all been changed. The look when she found some of her tacky wardrobe outside in garbage bags. Not a dime to her name. And Lissa didn
’
t even notice when Addie stood outside shouting for her. It was the supreme comeuppance, and she deserved it. Trying to turn my baby against me.
”
Ted began to pace, his eyes wildly alight, and he continued,
“
It
’
s a good thing the doors were locked against her, because I might well have strangled her. I
’
d still like to.
”
“
Ted,
”
said Esther, her voice calm and absolutely in control of the situation. Upon hearing his name, he turned to her and sat down on the couch beside her, his hand reaching for hers.
“
You know her issues. You know who she is, or you should by now. I will not build my future on dishonesty. You must not steal from her what is hers. That would serve none of us. You can
’
t steal her child. Nobody should have to endure that.
”
“
She tried to do it to me, didn
’
t she.
”
“
Sibling rivalry,
”
said Esther.
“
Besides, do you think she could have succeeded? As much as that little girl loves you?
”