Authors: Sinéad Moriarty
‘You dork, it’s “We can buy a ton”.’
Luke turned back to the audience:
We can buy a ton
Of sweets and gum
Being rich rocks!
Liam banged on the drums as Luke and Leo took a bow. But no one was clapping. There was a stunned silence. I looked at the exit. I wanted to make a run for it and deny they were my kids. I was humiliated and mortified.
Now everyone in the school knew our private business. The triplets had made complete fools of us. I wanted to die. Behind me I heard a man say, ‘What kind of people are they letting into the school now?’
‘I know,’ his wife said. ‘Families like that give the school a bad name. We’ll have to talk to the headmaster.’
Harry, who had sat as still as a stone during the performance while I’d dug my fingers into his arm in horror, raised his hands and began to clap. The boys looked over and smiled. ‘Awesome, right?’ They gave us the thumbs-up. Oh, to be a completely clueless, elephant-skinned nine-year-old, I thought, as I gave them a weak smile.
A few kind parents clapped feebly, the boys bowed and waved at their ‘fans’ and then the dean of the third form came out and ushered them off the stage. Coming back on, he said, ‘Well, that was certainly original.’ He then went on to introduce the next boy.
I looked up and saw Victoria pointing at me. She didn’t even bother whispering. ‘That’s the mother,’ she said loudly, to the woman beside her. ‘There doesn’t seem to be any discipline at all, utterly wild.’
‘They’re positively feral,’ the other woman said. ‘I don’t want Patrick exposed to this kind of vulgarity.’
‘They obviously get it from home,’ Victoria said, looking innocently at me.
I could hear similar murmurs around the hall, and I knew that if I didn’t leave, I’d start to cry. I grabbed Harry’s arm. ‘We need to go now.’
He leant in and said, ‘Don’t be ridiculous. We belong here as much as they do. We’re staying.’ His jaw was set. I knew that look. Harry was determined to stay and nothing was going to change his mind.
‘Well, I need to pop to the Ladies, then,’ I lied.
It was only when I stood up that I realized my legs were shaking. I stumbled out of the hall and made my way to the Ladies. On the way, I spotted the room where the after-show reception was being held. There were glasses of wine laid out. Checking no one was around, I snuck in, downed a glass, then hid another behind my bag.
I went to the cloakroom, locked myself into a cubicle and sat on the toilet seat, drinking the second glass. I could feel the alcohol working its magic as my heart rate began to slow.
I loved the boys, but why did they have to humiliate me? I know they didn’t mean it, but they had made me sound like some money-grabbing wretch.
I heard the cloakroom door open. I froze. A group of women came in. ‘Can you believe those triplets? I mean, what kind of parents do they have?’
‘Did they win the lottery? I didn’t really understand the song.’
Then I heard Victoria’s unmistakable voice: ‘Apparently some wealthy aunt left them money and they bought their way into Castle Academy. I heard the boys were expelled from several schools. They have utterly traumatized poor Sebastian. We really need to rally together and talk to the headmaster. Castle Academy does not want that kind of common element dragging the school down.’
‘Where is the mother?’ someone asked.
‘Obviously she’s out spending all her new money,’ another mother said, and there was a cackle of laughter.
‘She’s actually very nice.’ Emily’s voice rose above the pack.
‘Oh, Emily,’ Victoria drawled, ‘you really need to be more discerning. I knew the mother’s sister, Sophie Devlin, and she was just the same – completely obsessed with money and social climbing.’
I dug my nails into my thigh to stop myself storming out of the cubicle and punching that bitch in the face. But my family had made enough of a show of itself for one night. I finished the wine and waited for the witches to leave. When I came out, the room was empty. I splashed water on my face, trying to wash away the humiliation.
I
glanced
down at my BlackBerry: two missed calls from Clara’s school. What was going on? Her teacher, Helen, seemed like a capable woman, so if she was calling something must be up. I’d made it clear at the beginning of the year that I didn’t want to be disturbed at work for silly things, like if Clara was arguing with another child or if she seemed a bit introverted. I had explained to Helen that Clara was an only child and liked playing by herself. She was quiet and I was fine with that. I didn’t need some over-zealous teacher telling me that my child needed to be more sociable. She was happy and that was all I cared about. Besides, I had liked my own company as a child too. I’d always found other kids really immature and juvenile.
I knew it wasn’t an emergency because I had told Helen to call my secretary, Elaine, if ever there was one at school and she couldn’t get hold of me. I could see Elaine through the conference-room glass door, typing away. Her phone hadn’t rung.
Still, I wanted to wrap up this meeting, but Janice Whitney was in mid-flow, asking me to explain exactly how the Asset Covered Securities Amendment Act 2007 enhanced Ireland’s position in the bond market.
‘It’s quite straightforward,’ I replied. ‘These amendments enhance Ireland’s position in the highly competitive covered bond market. Asset-covered securities are backed by a defined pool of prescribed assets, like mortgages. They differ from mortgage-backed securities in that they are issued directly by the originator or a subsidiary rather than through a special-purpose vehicle, thereby retaining the mortgages on the originator’s balance sheet.’
Janice leant forward, refilling her coffee cup for the third time. She was clearly settling in for the day. Damn. I wanted to call Clara’s teacher. ‘I just wonder if you could be more specific,’ she said.
Specific? Was she joking? How could I possibly be more specific? I nodded and concentrated on being polite. Janice had inherited a fortune when her husband died and left her his publishing business. She was obviously lonely and she was currently spending all of her time tormenting me and my colleagues with requests for information and clarification. She was driving us all crazy. We didn’t have time to sit around explaining our different sectors of the law. But she had deep pockets and the potential to bring us a lot of business, so I had to tread carefully.
‘I thought I was being very specific, Janice. I’m not sure what further information I can give you on that point.’
Janice waved a wrinkled, bejewelled hand at me. ‘I’m not entirely clear on the mortgage-backed securities part.’ She picked up a biscuit and sat back in her chair, anticipating my response.
My BlackBerry lit up. It was Clara’s school again. ‘If you’ll just excuse me for one minute, I need to pop out to take this call.’
‘All right, but don’t try to fob me off on one of your junior team members. It’s you I want to deal with. I will only speak to the senior partners. I’m not going to be anyone’s guinea pig. The juniors can practise on other clients.’
‘Yes, of course.’ I backed out of the room and cursed under my breath.
‘Hi, is Clara OK?’ I asked Helen.
‘She’s fine. Sorry to disturb you at work, but there has been an incident.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, there was a tussle this morning between Clara and Angela.’
‘Yes, and?’
‘It resulted in a bit of unpleasantness.’
For the love of God would she ever get to the bloody point? I didn’t have time for this. ‘What exactly happened, Helen?’
‘Clara, who is a lovely child and we’re all so fond of her here –’
I cut across her. ‘What did she do?’
‘I’m sure she didn’t mean it, but unfortunately she got a little annoyed when Angela took her Lego and she … Well, I’m afraid Clara let her temper get the better of her and she bit Angela, who is very upset.’
I rolled my eyes. Big deal. All kids bite. Gavin had been a terrible biter. He’d almost had to be muzzled. Whenever he lost his temper, which was quite often as he was constantly being taunted by his three older sisters, he’d go all red in the face and bite our arms.
‘Well, I’m sure Angela is fine. I mean, Clara’s not Jaws. Lots of kids bite – it must happen all the time in school.’
‘Not really, and in this instance Clara bit poor Angela quite deeply. There are distinct tooth marks on her arm.’
‘I’ll talk to Clara tonight after work. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.’
As I was about to hang up, Helen said, ‘Actually, Louise, I was wondering if you could come to the school at pick-up time. Angela’s mother would like a word with you.’
You have got to be kidding me. Now I had to go and listen to some over-protective mother who was freaking out about a bite. I had back-to-back meetings all day.
‘I’m sorry, Helen, but I have a crazy day in work and I just don’t have the time to come down to school for a chat. Give the woman my number and tell her to call me.’
There was silence on the phone, then Helen said, ‘I suggested that because you mentioned how demanding your job is, but Angela’s mother was most insistent. She mentioned lawyers and plastic surgeons.’
‘Is this a wind-up?’ I asked.
‘No.’
‘Come on, Helen, plastic surgery?’
‘Well, yes … I know … but …’
‘I’ll see you at twelve thirty.’ I hung up and had the very strong urge to go and bite someone myself. I opted instead for kicking the wall. Now I was going to have to reschedule my entire afternoon to meet this ridiculous woman and her whiny, pain-in-the-arse child.
A
t twelve thirty
I jumped out of a taxi and went to meet Clara’s ‘victim’. As soon as she saw me, Clara ran outside. Her eyes were red from crying.
‘Hey, pumpkin, are you OK?’ I hugged her.
‘Miss Helen is cross with me.’
‘I know. Did you bite Angela?’
Clara pulled back from the hug and looked down. She nodded. ‘I know it’s bold to bite but she took my Lego.’
I crouched down. ‘I understand that it’s annoying when someone does that, but you mustn’t bite them. Just tell the teacher.’
Clara’s eyes welled. ‘I was making a mockingbird and Angela just came over and took the tail. She just snapped it off. It took me ages to make it.’
I wiped a tear from her eye. I couldn’t bear to see Clara so distressed. ‘It’s OK. I’m not cross with you. I think Angela’s a very silly girl for making such a big deal about it.’
‘I said sorry to her.’
‘Good girl. Do you know who used to bite me all the time?’
‘Who?’
‘Uncle Gavin.’
Clara’s eyes widened. ‘Does he bite now? Does he bite Shania if she takes his Lego?’
‘No, he doesn’t. He stopped doing it because he knew it wasn’t nice. Just like you’re not going to bite again, right?’
‘Yes, Mummy.’
Helen came over and tapped me on the shoulder. ‘Louise, this is Caroline, Angela’s mother.’
I looked up grumpily, expecting to see some hippie-dippy earth-mother with long, straggly hair wearing one of those stupid ponchos that have tiny little mirrors sewn into them. She was wearing a poncho but it was a cashmere one and her hair was blow-dried in long curls. She had one of those ridiculously oversized designer totes on her arm and six-inch spike-heel boots. She looked overdressed and overdone.
I stood up, holding Clara’s hand, and decided to take control of the situation. ‘Hello.’ I shook Caroline’s hand firmly. ‘I believe my daughter bit yours. I’ve spoken to Clara and it won’t happen again. I really don’t think we need to make a big deal of it. As you can see, Clara is upset and has apologized.’
Caroline smiled a tight, unfriendly smile. She pulled up her daughter’s sleeve and thrust her arm in my face. ‘As you can see, Angela’s arm has tooth marks all over it.’
There were tooth marks, but only one set and the kid was clearly fine. I took a deep breath. ‘Angela,’ I said, addressing the child directly, ‘Clara is very sorry for biting you and she will never do it again. Can you make up now?’ I wanted to add, ‘Because I really need to get back to work,’ but restrained myself.
Angela nodded.
‘Right, well, there we go. All sorted.’ I pulled my bag over my shoulder.
Caroline held up a manicured hand. ‘Hold on a minute. We’re far from finished here. Your daughter has scarred my daughter’s arm. You can’t just brush this off.’
I looked at the tooth marks. ‘They really aren’t that bad. I’m sure by this time tomorrow they’ll be invisible.’
Caroline stared down at Clara, who looked away. ‘Clara, what you did was very naughty. Look at me when I’m talking to you. Clara?’
Clara never looked at people she didn’t know very well. She was shy like that. This bloody woman was beginning to get up my nose. It was my turn to hold up my hand. ‘Excuse me, do not speak to my daughter like that. Clara said she was sorry, this little incident is over, and I’m now going back to work to a meeting that I postponed to come here for this mini-drama.’
‘Don’t you dare walk away from me,’ Caroline hissed. ‘I’ve not finished. I want you to pay for the GP appointment I’m taking Angela to now. I want them to check her injury. She may need a tetanus shot.’
That was it.
I took a step forward and eyeballed her. In a very calm voice, I said, ‘My daughter is not a dog. I happen to be a lawyer, a very good lawyer, and I don’t like or appreciate people insulting my child. So, if I was you, I would be very careful about what you say in front of me or my daughter because I will happily drag your sorry arse through every court in the land.’
She blanched. ‘What? How dare you? Your daughter is aggressive and odd. She never plays with anyone and she’s –’
‘Let me stop you right there, Caroline, before you say something else that could be slanderous. Here’s what we’re going to do. I am going to give you sixty euros to pay for your doctor’s appointment and you are never going to bother me or my child again.’ I handed her the money, then, to Clara, I said, ‘Clara, from now on you stay away from Angela and, Angela, I want you to stay away from Clara.’
Turning on my heels I marched down the road to my waiting taxi, Clara at my side. I could hear Caroline shouting at Helen that Clara would have to be expelled and that I was a monster. I smiled. I doubted she’d bother me again.
In the taxi on the way home I asked Clara if she minded not playing with Angela.
‘No, Mummy.’
‘Do you play with any of the other kids sometimes?’
She shook her head. ‘Not really. I did make a birdhouse with David one time but he wasn’t very good. He was too slow.’
‘Do you like the school? Because if you don’t, we can try another one.’ I wanted her to be happy.
She looked out of the window. ‘I’d like to stay at home with my bird books. School is very noisy, Mummy.’
‘I know, sweetheart, but you need to go to school to become even more clever than you already are.’
‘OK, Mummy.’ She sighed.
I leant over and hugged her. My little angel.
Two minutes later I dropped Clara home, where I had arranged for Christelle to be waiting, and headed back to work.
T
he next morning
I decided to drop Clara at school in case Caroline would say something to her or try to harass Christelle. I saw her talking to a group of other mothers outside the school gate. When I arrived they stopped talking and stared at me. I waved. ‘Morning, ladies.’ Caroline turned her back on me.
I walked Clara to the door, where Helen was waiting. Clara went in, hung her coat on her peg and headed straight for the Lego. She looked so small and alone. I hoped she’d be all right and the other kids wouldn’t be mean to her.
‘Louise, could I have a word?’ Helen asked.
I sighed. ‘If this is about yesterday, I’ve dealt with it. I have nothing more to say.’
Helen nodded. ‘It’s not. Well, it is, but it’s not just about yesterday. It’s about a few things, really.’
I crossed my arms. ‘Go on.’
Helen asked her assistant to keep an eye on the children while she ushered me into a small office. ‘Please take a seat,’ she said.
I remained standing. ‘I’m fine. I really don’t have much time. I’ve a meeting at nine thirty in town.’
Helen took out a folder, which she nervously began to fidget with. ‘Louise, I wanted to talk to you about Clara.’
‘I gathered that.’
She smiled. ‘Clara is a wonderful child, so ahead of her peers in many ways. Her language skills and reading ability are astonishing.’
‘I know. She’s exceptionally bright.’
Helen nodded. ‘Yes, she is. I’m a little concerned about her social skills. She is very much a loner, and although I’ve tried to get her to play with the other children, she refuses.’
‘She prefers her own company. I think it’s because she’s so bright and also because she’s an only child – she spends a lot of time with grown-ups.’
Helen twisted her wedding ring around her finger. ‘She seems very reluctant to make eye contact with others. Does she do this at home too?’
I glanced at the clock. I had five minutes left and then I had to go or I’d be late. ‘She’s shy. Shy kids don’t like looking at people’s faces. It’s just the way they are.’
‘Have you noticed her being a little clumsy? When we do our exercises she has trouble with her balance.’
I smiled. ‘Look, I’m sporty, but my sister Julie is a disaster. She has two left feet. Poor Clara’s just inherited it from her.’
‘I see.’ Helen’s cheeks were red now. ‘Clara also gets very fixated on things. It can be difficult to persuade her to sit at the table and engage with the class. She gets very lost in her own thoughts.’
‘So what? She’s ten times brighter than any of the other children.’ I really needed to go. ‘She’s always been obsessed with birds. But so are lots of children. Now I’m afraid I have to go or I’ll be late for my meeting.’
Helen stood up. ‘Louise, I wondered if you’d ever considered having Clara evaluated.’
I put on my coat. ‘Her IQ? Yes. I’m thinking about it.’
‘No, for behavioural and developmental issues.’
I laughed. ‘She bit someone, Helen. She’s not insane!’