“I
have it and I want to spend it.” I sighed as well, annoyed that she was using
money to prevent me from spoiling her. “We may be parents soon, Lucky. Then
I’ll be spending lots of money on you and our baby.” I ignored the jump in my
heart as I spoke.
“Zane,
I doubt I’m pregnant.” She looked at me with worried eyes. “I can’t afford to
be pregnant right now.”
“I
just told you I have the money,” I retorted, my face twisting with displeasure
and disappointment. I wasn’t sure if I was mad because she was talking about
money again, or not being pregnant. And I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t stop
picturing a little Lucky in my arms.
“I
don’t mean money, Zane. I mean, I still have to finish school and we barely
know each other,” she mumbled, and I watched as the tip of her tongue ran along
her lower lip, teasing and tantalizing me.
“I
don’t know what you just said.” I jumped out of bed. “All I know is that I want
you again very badly, and I better get in the shower before I ravish you and
leave you sore for the whole day.” I walked away quickly, confused at the gamut
of emotions coursing through me.
“I
think I’m already going to be sore.” She jumped out of bed and walked towards
me slowly, her arms reaching out to me. Her long, brown hair flowed down her
back in a frizzy mess, but she looked absolutely gorgeous to me. More perfect
than any magazine model could ever hope to be. I walked towards her and pulled
her into my arms so that she was pressed against me tightly. Her breasts were
crushed against my chest, and I placed my hands at the small of her back and put
my nose in her hair so I could breathe her in. Her very essence was like heaven
to me.
“I
love this moment.” She peeked up at me and smiled. “This is a perfect moment.”
“All
of our moments from here on out are going to be perfect.” I grinned at her and
ignored the hollow feeling in my stomach. “Just promise me you won’t continue
doing stupid things.” I frowned at her and stared into her eyes, trying to
convey to her the seriousness of what I was saying. I needed to be sure I could
protect her from everything. And I wouldn’t be able to protect her if she did
stupid things.
“Can
I tell you something, Zane?” She pulled away from me with a sheepish grin and I
ran my fingers along her collarbone, tracing the delicate lines carefully.
“You
want me to tie you up?” I grinned and tried not to picture her tied up against
the bed, begging me to take her.
“No
thanks, Robert Grey.” She laughed.
“If
my name was Christian, you’d say yes.”
“I
think you’re obsessed with that book.”
“I
do own the book
Kama Sutra
.” Our eyes
locked and I continued running my hands along the side of her body. “We could
learn some new moves and make our own book.”
“
Fifty Shades of Zane
?”
“
The Wonderful and Mysterious Sex Life of
Lucky
.”
“
Tying Up Beaumont
.”
“
Morgan’s Sex Tips For the Inexperienced
.”
“
How to
….” She laughed. “You got me, I
can’t think of anything else.”
“We
can start on any of those books as soon as you want.” I brought her towards me
again so she could feel my hardness against her leg. “And,” I continued, “if
you want, we can get some handcuffs so you can do kinky things to me.”
“You
wish.” She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Actually, I wanted to tell you that I
hate your duvet cover.”
“What?”
I chortled as I saw the look of humor on her face. “That’s random.”
“I
hate your duvet cover. Can we change it?” She laughed at my expression and I
joined her in her mirth. I fell back on the bed as I laughed heartily. Lucky
was so unpredictable and I hadn’t seen that coming.
So much for the handcuffs and whipped cream
, I thought to myself.
“Of
course. Do you want to go shopping today?” I stroked her curls and wound my
fingers through them.
“We
can go after we work.”
“Who’s
the boss here?” I faked a growl and she poked me in the arm. I jumped up,
walked to the wardrobe and grabbed a T-shirt, and flung it to her. “Put this
on, I can’t keep staring at your naked body and keep my hands to myself.”
“Thanks.”
She blushed and I saw a small smile cross her face.
I
could hardly believe that I was here in this room with Lucky. Just a few months
ago, I had been trying to stop myself from going to Lou’s Burger Joint because
I had enjoyed seeing her there every Friday, and now, well now she was here
with me. It didn’t feel real. I couldn’t believe how light and happy I was. It
was as if a missing piece of me had been plugged in and now I was operating at
100 percent. I was feeling and seeing emotions and colors that had been in
darkness for most of my life. I just hoped nobody pulled the plug again.
“So,
we’ll go shopping after we do a little bit of work,” I told her firmly. Then I
shook my head. “I can’t believe you don’t like my duvet cover.”
“It
looks ugly and cheap.” She cringed. “And dirty.”
“Okay,
okay. I get it. You don’t like it. Anything else you’d like to change?” I
looked around the room. “The paint color? The wood of my wardrobes?”
“Well,
if you’re asking.” She grinned and I reached over to tickle her, but she ran
away from me, giggling. “I’m going in the shower now, by myself.”
I
groaned at her words, I’d already pictured us making love again under the
cascade of warm water.
“Oh
yeah,” I spoke casually, straightening out the sheets as the words came out of
my mouth. “My best friend, Leonardo, will be joining us for dinner.” I made a
mental note to call Leo as soon as Lucky went into the shower. I ignored the
warning bells in my head. I needed to do this. I needed to make sure that all I
had to worry about was getting Braydon imprisoned.
“Oh.”
Her voice sounded surprised and I turned around to see a look of shock on her
face.
“What’s
so shocking?” I frowned, my stomach churning slightly. Did she know what I was
planning? Did she have some sort of ESP?
“I
don’t know. I didn’t think you had a best friend, aside from Noah, of course.”
Her eyes were wide and begging for understanding. It saddened me that she would
never know Noah, and that he would always be mentioned in a whispered and
lowered voice.
“Noah
was my best friend and brother. I was his protector. A failed protector,” I
sighed, remembering the dream. “I won’t ever be a failure like that again.”
“You
can’t watch someone’s every step, Zane.” She grabbed my hands earnestly. “You
can’t protect people from themselves.”
“I
can try though.” I shook my head and changed the subject. “Would you like to
cook dinner or take Leonardo out to eat tonight?”
“What
do you mean, would
I
like to cook
dinner? What about us cooking dinner together?” She rolled her eyes.
“Well,
if you’re going to be the mother of my child and my companion—” For some
reason I couldn’t bring myself to say “wife.” It seemed too permanent and
constrained. Too real. I ignored Lucky’s hurt expression at my words. I knew
she had noticed my use of the word
companion
.
“Shouldn’t you learn how to throw a good dinner party?”
“I’m
going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” She grimaced and a flash of worry
pricked me. “If I am carrying your child, it doesn’t mean I’m going to become
some sort of domestic goddess.”
“I
don’t expect that, I’m not Charlie Sheen,” I joked and she frowned again.
“What
are you talking about? What does Charlie Sheen have to do with it?”
“Sorry,
poor joke.” I grabbed her hands and caressed them softly, bending down to kiss
each finger. “Let’s not start the day off with an argument. We’ll go to dinner
instead then, okay?”
“No.
I want to cook.” She laughed and I looked at her in bewilderment. I shook my
head in exasperation. Lucky was a typical female, so very hard to understand.
“I just don’t want that to be an expectation that I’m going to be barefoot and
pregnant in the kitchen, cooking for you all the time.”
“I
don’t think I have ever pictured that.” I laughed heartily, happy that we were
back on track and joking again. “What’s wrong?” I looked at her nervous
expression and worry filled me. Did she already know she was pregnant?
“This
guy, Leonardo, he’s not like your other friends, is he? The ones that came to
the party?” She grimaced.
I
laughed. “I’m guessing you weren’t fond of them?”
She
shook her head and made a face, and I wanted to kiss her and take away her
obvious unease. “I’m sorry my friends weren’t very nice to you at the party. In
my defense, I don’t really like most of those people. I just know them.”
“Why
did you invite them over then?”
“I
wanted you to think I had a lot of friends and that I wasn’t some sort of
weirdo
whose only friend was his brother.”
“But
you have Leonardo?”
“Yeah.”
I looked away quickly and I wondered if I was doing the right thing. “Now, get
in the shower and get ready, and I’ll make breakfast and we can get to work.”
“Are
we going to go interview someone else?” she asked excitedly.
I
shook my head. I watched as her long, brown hair swung back and forth. Her
curly locks were bouncing up and down as she moved, and I wanted to reach over
to pull a ringlet down to see if it would coil back up.
“So
what are we going to do then?” she questioned, cutting me off.
“All
shall be revealed soon.” I laughed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. “Now
hurry and go shower.”
“Aye-aye,
Captain.” She rolled her eyes and saluted me as she finally went into the
bathroom.
I
grinned as I heard the water running and then looked at the duvet cover.
It was a pretty ugly color,
I thought as
I stared at it. But I certainly wasn’t going to allow her to get me to purchase
anything pink or frilly. No way, Jose. The pink could be saved for a little
girl’s room. If we had a girl, of course. If Lucky was pregnant. Oh shit, what
if she was pregnant! The enormity of that thought hit me like a ton of bricks.
What if I had a baby? How would I be able to ensure that Lucky and the baby
were protected and safe—that they wouldn’t leave me? The thought of
losing Lucky and our child was too hard for me to imagine. A churning sensation
gripped me and I felt my head pounding with worry. I could not let anything
happen to either of them. I couldn’t mess this up. I grabbed my phone, and any
last-minute concerns left my mind as I called Leonardo. Love meant having to
make hard decisions. And sometimes it meant knowing when to let go and let
another guy take over. In my heart of hearts, I had already accepted what I
knew to be true. Leo was a better man than I, and it was he I would entrust my
Lucky to. Because sometimes love meant letting go when you knew you couldn’t
provide everything your loved one needed. Even if they didn’t know what those
things were.
Lucky
I
held my stomach as I showered. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the possibility
that I may be pregnant. I was a fool for getting myself into a situation like
this. After everything I had planned for my future, the fact that I had
unprotected sex with Zane without even a thought of using protection made me
cringe with embarrassment. I knew better than that.
“Have
I told you that you’re beautiful…” I heard Zane singing in the bedroom and I
smiled to myself. He had a nice, deep voice, it was melodic and he was able to
hold a tune pretty well. I wondered if he played the guitar as well. I felt
like I had asked him if he played a musical instrument, but I couldn’t remember
what his answer had been. Musical men held a certain attraction for me, and I’d
love it if he serenaded me. I laughed at my romantic notions and continued
soaping up my body.
As
I shampooed my hair, I thought about the last 24 hours and Zane’s revelation
about Braydon and his brother. I couldn’t believe that Braydon was a drug
dealer. He was a big-time movie star; why would he be dealing drugs? I scrubbed
away and thought about everything that had been said the night before. It
seemed to me that everything was happening so quickly between us. Just a few
weeks ago, he was still the gorgeous but
shady
guy that I talked to every Friday night. He was the guy who brought in a
different girl to the diner and made me scoff about him with Shayla and Maria.
I understood why he did that now, and my heart went out to him, but there was
still a layer of worry that seemed to enclose me. I think it was because of the
pregnancy, or possible pregnancy. There was a part of me that believed that
Zane was only interested in a relationship because he thought it was the right
thing to do. Maybe he felt obligated to take care of our child and me. A chill
ran through me. What if he only wanted to date me because he thought I was
pregnant? Did I want to be with a man who was only with me out of obligation
and a sense of propriety? And what would happen if it turned out that I wasn’t
pregnant?