“Lucky,
are you okay?” Zane knocked on the door, interrupting my depressing thoughts,
and I smiled.
“I’m
fine,” I called out to him.
“Should
I come in and get the parts of your back you can’t reach?”
“No
thanks, Zane.” I laughed and scrubbed myself, half-hoping he’d come in and join
me. I don’t know what it was about him, but I felt lonely when he wasn’t by my
side.
“You
don’t know how hard it is for me to stand outside the door and not come in,
Lucky.”
“Well,
at least I can think you want me for more than my body if you don’t come in.” I
spoke lightly, but I was only half-joking.
“Don’t
be silly, my dear.” Zane growled at me through the door. “So, I called Leo and
he’ll be over at about 6 p.m.”
“Are
we going to go to the grocery store first then?” I turned off the shower and
stepped out carefully, grabbing one of the plush towels from the rack and
wrapping it around my body tightly.
“If
that’s what you want,” he called through the door and groaned. “If anyone is
looking through the window right now, they will think I’m an idiot.” He
laughed, a wry tone in his voice.
“Why?”
I asked suspiciously.
“Because
I’m leaning against the door with my ear pressed against it closely so I can
hear what you’re saying clearly.”
“Oh,
Zane.” I walked quickly to the door and opened it. He was standing there in his
boxer shorts, just staring at me. His eyes were serious as he studied me in my
big, fluffy towel and he half-smiled before turning away from me. He had a
small package in his hands and he held it towards me with a sheepish smile. “I
got you something.”
“What?”
I looked up at him in shock and surprise. “Oh, Zane, you didn’t have to get my
anything.”
“Open
it.” His lopsided, eager smile stopped my protestations and I took the package
from his hands.
“I
can’t believe you got me a gift.” My voice was emotional. I was touched by his
gesture as I unwrapped it carefully.
“You’re
so much more patient than me.” He laughed. “I would have ripped that paper off
so quickly.”
“We
can reuse the paper if there are no rips.”
“Reuse?”
He looked at me in amusement and I laughed.
“When
you grow up poor, you learn how to be thrifty.”
“There’s
nothing wrong with that.” I looked up into his eyes and I smiled gratefully at
him, happy that he understood what money meant to me.
I
peeled the wrapping paper off of a small box and opened it slowly. My heart was
beating rapidly and I was excited to see what he had gotten me.
“Wait.”
Zane held up a hand. “Don’t open it yet.”
“What?
Why?” I frowned. “Please tell me there are no bugs in here.” I shuddered. “I
hate bugs with a passion.”
“Lucky,
I would never get you bugs.” He laughed. “Hold on a second.” He walked quickly
to the night table and came back with his phone.
“Can
I open it before or after you check your text messages?” I asked sarcastically.
“Don’t
be silly.” He laughed. “I want to take a photo.”
“A
photo?” I blushed and pulled my towel up. “You do not want to take a photo of
me in my towel and wet hair.”
“No,
silly. I want to take a photo of your expression when you open your first gift
from me.”
“Oh?”
I laughed. “That’s a bit sentimental.”
“I
wanted a photo of you on my phone.” He grinned. “And don’t say a word.”
“I
won’t.” I looked down, trying to hide my grin. His words had made me happier
than I had ever thought possible.
Oh,
Lucky,
I thought to myself.
You’re so
easy to please.
I laughed and opened the box slowly.
“Look
up, Lucky.” Zane’s voice was soft as I lifted the necklace out of the box. I
stared into his eyes and I felt tears building up in mine as I glanced at it.
“Oh,
Zane. It’s beautiful. I love it. I love it so much.” I smiled widely at him and
blinked as the camera flashed. “I can’t believe you bought this for me.” The
light flashed again and I laughed. “Enough, you’re going to blind me.”
“Do
you really like it?” He looked at me with an uncertain expression. “I know it’s
not diamonds or anything, but I thought you would like it.”
“I
love it, Zane.” I stared at the necklace in my hand. The actual necklace was
made of small, dark blue pieces and there were several turquoise stones that
made up the band. “This is beautiful.”
“I
remembered one day in the diner you had told me you loved the color blue.” He
looked embarrassed. “I thought you would like this. Most women like necklaces,
right?”
“I
love it, Zane. Thank you so much. I held it carefully in my hand and reached
over to kiss him on the cheek. I held his gaze and touched his cheek. “This
really means a lot to me, Zane. More than you’ll ever know. Thank you.” I
looked down at the necklace again and grinned. “Will you help me put it on? I
want to wear it now.” I handed him the necklace and he tied it around my neck
carefully. I twirled around once it was on and touched it with happiness,
allowing the moment to carry me away.
“Are
you okay, Zane?” I touched his shoulder and he glanced at me with
emotion-filled eyes.
“You
look beautiful, Lucky. Really beautiful.” He paused. “I just can’t quite
believe you’re here.” He frowned. “Guys like me don’t get girls like you …”
“Girls
like me?”
“The
good ones, the special ones. I don’t even know if this moment is real. It
doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like my life. I’m so scared that someone is
going to wake me from a dream and you won’t be here.”
“I
feel the same way,” I whispered. “It just seems to all have happened so
quickly.” I chewed on my lower lip and looked up at his handsome face from
under my lashes. “I’m scared that something will go wrong.”
“So
am I.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “I don’t know that I can be
exactly what you need.”
“What
do you mean?” My breath caught in my throat and I stared at him in fear. Was he
breaking up with me already? Was the necklace a goodbye gift?
“I
had a dream about my mother this morning.” He tried to keep his tone light, but
I could tell he was masking a deeper emotion.
“What
did you dream?” We walked back to the bedroom and sat on the bed, my hand
enclosed in his.
“I
just remembered the day she left.” His voice cracked slightly.
“I
didn’t realize you remembered that.”
“I
try not to think about it.” He forced a laugh and my heart filled with sympathy
for him. “I was so young, I didn’t even realize what was happening.”
“You
couldn’t have known.”
“She
asked me to look after Noah. I was too busy sulking about not getting to go to
McDonald’s.”
“You
were just a kid, Zane.”
“Why
didn’t she take us? Why didn’t she love us enough to make sure she could be the
one to take care of us?”
“I
don’t know how she could have left you.” My heart ached for him and the pain
and rejection he was remembering and feeling. I wished that I could say
something to make him understand and feel better. But frankly, I couldn’t
comprehend his mother’s actions either.
“Noah
never spoke about her. Well, he tried and I wouldn’t engage, and then he just
stopped trying.” He looked at me searchingly. “I sometimes wondered if that was
healthy. Maybe we should have really talked about it. Maybe we should have
confronted our dad.”
“How
did your dad react when your mom left and Noah died?” I asked curiously,
wondering what sort of man Zane’s dad was.
“He
had another woman, so he didn’t really care when my mom left. He said she was a
whore and we were all better off without her.” Zane’s voice was bitter. “And
when Noah died, he got free publicity for his new movie.”
“Oh.”
My voice was hollow and I grieved for the man sitting next to me
—the man
who had never
felt the unequivocal and whole-consuming love that I had gotten from my
parents.
“Let’s
talk about something else.” He shook his head and jumped up. “I’ll get in the
shower while you change, and then we can get this party started.”
“What
party?” I half-smiled at him, understanding why he wanted to change the
subject. I hated it when people asked me about my parents and the conversation
lagged on. I loved my memories of my mom and dad, but I didn’t want to think
about their deaths constantly. And I had happy memories. I could only imagine
the crushing heartache and unresolved pain that he felt.
“The
party that will be our day today.” He grinned. “Even if we can’t have sex to
get it started.”
“Zane,”
I admonished him. “We are about more than sex.” I shook my head. Men were so
predictable sometimes.
“We
are?”
“Shut
up and get in the shower.” I laughed and stood up to push him towards the door.
“Leave
your hair curly today.” He smiled at me as he lifted a finger to my curls.
“It’ll
get too frizzy.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to look like Frankenstein.”
“But
you’ll be my Frankenstein.”
“I’d
rather be no one’s Frankenstein.”
“Well,
I think we can fix that. I think you’d be more like Worzel Gummidge than
Frankenstein.” He burst out laughing and I frowned at him.
“Who’s
Worzel Gummidge?”
“I’ll
let you figure it out.” He laughed and walked to the bathroom. “And think about
what you want to eat for breakfast or lunch.”
I
hurried to grab my phone and brought up Google so I could type in that name. I
plugged in Worzel Gummidge and some hideous photos of an unkempt man popped up.
“Zane
Beaumont, just wait until you get out of the shower!” I shouted, trying to stop
myself from laughing. “That was not funny.” I looked once again at the photos
of the dirty scarecrow and dropped my phone on the bed. “I’m definitely not
staying curly now!” I shouted again and quickly put my clothes on. I was just
applying some lip gloss when Zane exited the bathroom, all wet and dripping. I
stared at his naked chest in awe and lust. I watched as a drop of water held on
to a chest hair for dear life, and as he moved, it danced down his body and
onto the floor. I looked back up at his chest and saw another drop about to
make the same journey and I felt an overwhelming urge to rush up to him and
lick it off. I groaned inwardly; I was starting to become as horny as Zane. I
blamed it on the fact that I hadn’t had sex in ages before Zane and, of course
because Zane was dynamite in bed. I giggled at the thought and Zane raised an
eyebrow at me.
“Are
you laughing at my body, Lucky?” He put a hand on his hip and cocked his head.
“Do I not meet your approval?”
“Well,
you know… you could do a couple of pushups.” My tone was serious as I looked
him over. “And maybe some bicep curls.”
“Oh
really?” His voice was light with humor and his blue eyes sparkled. “Is that
all?”
“Your
abs look a little flabby.” I pretended to look embarrassed for him. “So maybe
some sit-ups as well.”
“I
promise I’ll still love you if you get fat.” He grinned at me and I stuck my
tongue out at him.
“Uh
huh.”
“It
could happen soon if you’re pregnant.”
“Oh,”
I groaned. “My body.” I clutched my stomach and twirled around. “My modeling
days will be over.”
“You
can model for me any day of the week, baby.”
“Don’t
you mean night?”
“Day
or night. I’m always ready to be wowed by your beauty.”
“Liar!
Way to try and butter me up, flabby chest.” I giggled and reached over to run
my hands down his chest. “Now get ready so we can go eat. I’m hungry.”
“I’m
guessing that’s not for me?” He looked at me hopefully and I walked away from
him, laughing.
“I’m
going downstairs, Don Juan. Hurry.”
“I
used to be the one who said that.” He grabbed his towel and started drying off
his body, and I felt my face flush as I thought about all the things I could be
doing to him right now.
“Don’t
be long.” I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I walked to the kitchen
slowly, stopping to look outside into the backyard. There were a lot of pretty
flowers in bloom, and I stared as they swayed in the light wind. The pinks and
the yellows against the deep green of the grass made me feel warm and cozy
inside. I decided to make some coffee and come back and sit outside
while I waited for Zane.
As
I sat drinking my coffee, a sudden panic rose up in me. What if I was pregnant?
Was I allowed to drink coffee? I knew I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol, but I
had no idea about coffee. I had no idea about anything that had to do with
pregnancies and babies. I’d never really been around any pregnant women. A wave
of sadness crashed down on my heart as I realized I couldn’t even ask my mom
for help. I pictured my mother’s smiling face and I thought about what she
would say if she knew the situation I was in and how irresponsible I had been.
I groaned as the enormity of everything I had done came crashing down on me. I
had basically quit my job and had withdrawn from school—all for a guy. A
guy I barely knew. A guy who had more issues than I did. A guy I wasn’t sure
would ever be able to fully give me his heart, no matter how much he wanted to.
A man who may have gotten me pregnant. How was I going to go back to school
with a baby? Would I now be a college dropout? I knew my mother would have
admonished me. She and my father would have been upset at my choices. I should
have asked Zane to let me finish college first. I should have held on to my
rules a little longer.