The Lady’s Torn Heart (Faces of Love Series #2) (8 page)

* * *

M
y time
with Mary and her family was coming to an end. As a final farewell, Mary organized a large dinner party a few weeks before my leaving. I think Mary had hoped that if she put it together quick enough, Lady Heather would not have returned in time. Her efforts were futile when we received the return note that Lady Heather had in fact received Mary’s dinner invitation, was in town, and would be delighted to join us.

“I am glad for it,” I said after listening to Mary read the note the morning of my farewell dinner.

We were sitting in the dining room, having our breakfast. Both Gaffton and Mary looked at me, surprised.

“It will give me an opportunity to say a proper goodbye; to close that chapter in my book. I think if I had left otherwise, I would have felt, I don't know, out of sorts. I think some closure will be good, at least for me. Who knows, it all could have been in my head and he never felt anything for me.”

“We all know that isn’t true,” Mary said.

“Either way, we can all move on from it.”

“Move on?” Gaffton asked. I could hear the hopeful tone in his voice.

“Are you suggesting you have another in your heart?” Mary encouraged.

“I couldn’t possibly so soon. But if I want hope of ever allowing someone into my heart again, I must first find a way to move past James.” My answer was satisfying enough for the both of them. I excused myself and made my way to my room. I wanted to be alone. I needed to collect my thoughts and gather my strength if I was going to face James with my chin held high tonight.

I decided to dress in a light green chiffon gown. I thought it might bring out the color in my cheeks, what little color I had left in them. I calmly waited as we greeted all of our guests. I was happy to see both Henry and Scarlett there. I hoped to glean some of their strength tonight.

I fell into an inward frazzled mess at the sound of James’ voice. He was very stiff and polite as he greeted us all formally. His eyes never left mine, but I refused to meet his. I avoided him as much as I could as we had drinks in the drawing room before supper.

Finally, the dinner bell was rung and we all began to make our way into the dining room. I was just outside the dining room door, toward the back of the group, when I felt a hand on my arm. I didn’t have to look to know it was James.

“Julia, can I have a word with you in private please?” he asked.

I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him that such a thing would be inappropriate now that he was engaged. I made the fatal mistake of meeting his eyes with my own. They had endless depths of misery in them. I just nodded and followed him further down the hall and into the library.

He closed both doors before turning to me. “I have wanted to visit you since our return. My aunt would not allow it.”

“Understandably,” I said as coolly as possible. I sat on a sofa and fiddled with my silk gloves. “It would be highly inappropriate now that you are betrothed.”

He came and sat next to me. He took my hands in his, forcing me to look at him again. “Julia, I am not betrothed.”

“What do you mean?”

“What you assumed is right, to a point. My aunt took me to Lord and Lady Hawkins with the hope that I would make a match with their daughter. Aunt Heather practically insisted on it. I couldn’t let the words be spoken between the two of us, not until I spoke with you first.”

“Why?” I barely muttered.

“Why?” he repeated with a burst of air. “Because I am in love with you, Julia. Wholeheartedly.” He lifted his hand to brush a single tear that had betrayed me. “Please do not tell me that I have hoped in vain?”

I leaned my face against his hand. “No, you haven’t,” I whispered against his palm.

He gave me that big boyish grin I loved so much. Cupping my face in both hands, he brought his lips to mine.

I allowed myself to be lost in that moment for just a second before pulling back. “What of your aunt? She doesn’t approve of this. I couldn’t bear for you to lose your inheritance over me.”

“It means nothing to me compared to you.”

I shook my head. “She will never allow it.”

“Then we will run away together,” he said, as if the idea had just struck him.

“James,” I scolded.

“I mean it. We can run away. Once we are married, she will accept you and forgive me. I promise it will all work out. Meet me tomorrow at the tavern in town. A coach stops there in the morning and afternoon. I will wait all day for you if I have to.”

In his eyes, I saw his sorrow replaced by the depths of his sincerity. He was willing to do this, to not only defy his aunt, but also give up his future for our love.

“Money, title, I don't care for any of it if you are not the one by my side.”

“Alright,” I finally said. I didn’t want to think about the ramifications. I didn’t want to consider anything. I had the chance to mend my broken heart, and I was going to take it.

* * *

T
he next morning
, I woke early and packed quietly. We had spent the rest of the previous evening indifferent to each other. I hoped we didn’t seem suspicious. I knew Mary at least noticed the change in my attitude and color to my cheeks after our meeting. I just didn’t want her to guess why, at least not until we were far away from here.

I couldn’t leave without a note of explanation to her. I didn’t feel it was right to make her worry unnecessarily. I quickly scribbled down my intentions and apologies for the trouble it might cause her and Gaffton. I left it on my pillow. She would find it soon enough.

I could hear the bustle of the servants preparing for the day just as the first rays of sun began to peek over the horizon. It was still early enough that no one was around the main house. I was able to slip out easily and make my way to the stables.

I picked the fastest steed that I knew of and attached a saddle with lightning speed. Time was not on my side. One simple misfortune such as someone walking in on me would end it all.

I burst from the stables and let the horse go at a full gallop. The noise of the hooves would alert someone, it was unavoidable, so now I would need speed. I rode for a solid hour at my breakneck speed. I felt pity for the horse, but nothing could be done about it.

When I finally arrived at the tavern we’d discussed, I was sure that I was utterly disheveled. I had made it before the morning coach. Now all I had to do was sit and wait, hoping that James had been able to do the same. The longer we had to wait here, the more likely we would be caught.

The tavern wasn’t the finest, or cleanest, of establishments. I hoped that in my tousled state I would blend right in with the folk. Most of the occupants were farmers or townsfolk getting in an early breakfast before going to the day’s tasks. The owner of the establishment gave me a weary look before seating me at a small table in the back.

I sat in the corner, waiting for James to burst through at any moment.

The owner brought over a glass of wine. It was probably one of the finest in the establishment. “While you wait, my lady,” she said.

Apparently, I didn’t blend in as much as I’d hoped. I generally wouldn’t take a drink so early in the morning, but today I would need it to steady my nerves.

I waited for what seemed an eternity. Then I saw the first coach arrive. A few weary travelers made their way in for a late breakfast. I became anxious. If James didn’t come soon, we would have to take the afternoon coach. The amount of time we would have to wait would be our undoing.

The travelers came, ate, then they all got back on the coach. Still there was no sign of James. By noon, the coach had left and the owner came back. “Are you doing alright, my lady? Would you like me to bring you something to eat?’’

I stretched my back from the stiffness of sitting for so long. I hesitated.

“The next coach won't be for a while. You might as well have a bite to eat,” she said knowingly.

I looked at her nervously. “I suppose you have seen this sort of situation before?”

She nodded in understanding, “You aren’t the first to do it, and you won't be the last.”

My eyes darted to the sound of the door opening. Excitement turned to disappointment when I saw that it wasn’t James.

“Don’t worry, my dear. He will come. They almost always do.”

“Almost?” I asked, trying to hide the quaver in my voice.

“You are a handsome girl. I can’t imagine someone would keep you waiting.”

Her words didn’t really comfort me. The food she brought a few minutes later did help. It was a hardy meal of cold ham and boiled potatoes. I realized that it was the first time I had eaten all day. It did wonders to fill the knots in my stomach, but didn’t bring me peace.

I could see the day was finally ending as the same faces came in for their evening meal. The second coach had arrived. I was in a flurry of turmoil now.
Had something happened to him on his way here?
I couldn’t image that James would make such promises to me and not come. I was struggling to hold back the tears as the ramifications of my actions were becoming clearer.

I sobbed a little into my handkerchief, as discreetly as possible. I was surprised to feel a strong warm hand on my shoulder. Hiccupping, I looked up. It was Gaffton standing before me. The sight of him brought the emotions rushing back anew.

Gaffton scooted a chair next to me and took me into his arms, allowing me to cry. He waited patiently for me to calm myself. I had never experienced life with a brother, but it was easy to see that the love he had for me was of brotherly protection.

Finally, I got control of myself again. Gaffton scooted his chair back to a more appropriate distance. “Shall we get something to eat before returning home?” he asked, waving over the owner.

At first, she looked excited, as she had told me he would come. My sad face showed her that he was not the man I was waiting for. She was grave as she took our request and left.

“I’m surprised it took you so long to find me,” I finally said.

“We knew as soon as you rode off this morning,” Gaffton said matter of factly.

“Why didn’t you come then?”

“Mary wanted to give you a chance, you know. She is such a romantic at heart.”

I nodded in understanding.

“I had planned to come tonight anyway, after the last coach, to make sure you were on your way. We received a letter from James this afternoon. I figured it meant he wasn’t coming, since it was addressed to you.”

He pulled out a sealed letter from his jacket pocket. I saw that he had been kind enough not to open it. “He wouldn’t send you a letter if he was really coming.” I could hear the protective anger in his tone. “That cad didn’t even have the decency to make sure you were safely brought back home.”

I took the letter from him. I opened it and read it to myself. I half hoped it was some promise that he had done all he could to come to me. I would have much rather read that he had met some horrific misfortune on the road than the words he had so coldly written.

Gaffton was doing his best to eat without interest. I shared it with him nonetheless. He read over it quickly and threw it to the side in disgust.

He had said in a very controlled manner that upon returning home last night, he was confronted by his aunt. She’d had her suspicions. She had laid out for him very clearly that should he continue on the path promised to me, he would lead a life of dire consequences. He apologized, but said he couldn’t disappoint his aunt or the father who had sent him here in hopes of giving him a better life.

He had known he would go back on his word the night before, but didn’t have the nerve to tell me in person here at the tavern. Instead, he had sent his letter of apology and wishes of good health.

He informed me that he would be leaving by the end of the week to return to Lord and Lady Hawkins’ home. We would never see each other again. He had meant this as a consolation for the wrong he was doing to me, that at least I would never have to look upon his face again. It stung more bitterly than the abandonment.

“I know it doesn’t seem so now,” Gaffton said softly as he squeezed my hand. “But you will get over this heartbreak. I am living proof that one can love and lose and find love again.”