The Lady’s Torn Heart (Faces of Love Series #2) (7 page)

* * *

I
came
home to the Gaffton's estates to find that not much had changed. That is, except for dear Juliette. I couldn’t believe that in the short time I had been gone, she had grown and developed so much. It made my heart ache. Soon I would need to return home.
How much would she change before I would see her again?

Mary was doing much better now. She had fallen back into her usual routine of running the household as well as balancing her new role as mother. Any weakness or frailty that had overcome her during her recovery was now gone, and she was back to her usual self.

Of course, upon my returning, she wanted to hear every minute detail of the trip. I happily reported that I had had an incredible time. I had found a new, true friend in Scarlett and had enjoyed every moment with Henry. The use of his Christian name didn’t skip Mary's notice either. “He asked me to call him Henry. It would have been rude for me not to, so you can stop with that mischievous smile of yours.”

“There is nothing mischievous about my smile. It does say something that he would ask you to, don't you think?"

“Not at all. His sister called him by his first name. He was just polite.”

“Really? Polite? Tell me again how he bought you a horse?"

“He didn't really buy it for me. I am sure that it was just a good excuse to buy an animal he didn't need.”

"But he did give you leave to visit any time you want?”

“I think you are making more out of this than there is, Mary.”

“I disagree. Gaffton and I had our suspicions of Fitzwilliam’s, oh I mean
Henry’s
, intentions before you left. This just seems to confirm its truthfulness to me. He is infatuated with you.”

I gave a sigh of defeat before taking a sip of my tea. I couldn’t wholly deny her words. My heart was still a tangled mess though.

"From your silence, I take it you don’t feel the same?” She gave a long sigh herself. “I was hoping your heart might have turned toward him. I have recently gained some unpleasant news, and your affections toward the colonel would have made its cut less harsh.”

“What news have you heard? It must be about James for you to speak thus. Is he alright?"

“As far as I know, he is in splendid health,” Mary said, placing her hand over mine to ease my worry. “Elisabeth came to visit me while you were gone. She came with Dunlop, of course. They told me that they had just been visiting a relation of theirs, a Lord and Lady Hawkins. It seems that as they were leaving, James and his aunt were just arriving. They only spent one day in the same house, but it was clear that James’ aunt had brought him there for a reason.”

“And what was the reason?” I asked, despite the tightening in my chest.

“They have a daughter who is of the marrying age. Elisabeth insisted that she was a very dull looking girl who had no talents to speak of,” Mary quickly added in an attempt to lighten the blow.

“But it seems that this is who Lady Heather has intended for James.”

“They are very well off. The union of the two would improve his estate significantly. We know this was what Lady Heather wanted assurances of before promising him the inheritance.”

I nodded my understanding. Undoubtedly, some arrangement would be made before James returned. His aunt would surely see to that. I felt as if my heart was breaking into pieces on the floor. I quietly excused myself and made my way up to my chamber before letting the tears slip down my cheeks.

It didn't matter whether this woman was worse than plain. Nor did it matter if she was more clumsy and talentless than a heathen. She had the good fortune of being Lady Heather’s choice for her nephew.

I knew I was never going to be that choice. Even with Lady Heather’s desire to be close to my sister and brother-in-law, she would never see fit to give the inheritance to James if he chose to marry the daughter of an earl who’d gambled his fortune away. I was probably the farthest thing from a safe alliance in her eyes. I didn’t like her cruelty, but I also couldn’t blame her for interpreting the facts the way she did.

I lay down on my bed, struggling to catch my breath. If this was the result of the love Mary had gone on about all our lives, I didn’t think I wanted ever to feel it again. The pain of the loss was more than I could bear.

By the time the sun began to rise through my window, I had cried all the tears I had left to give. I was still wearing the brown traveling dress that I had arrived wearing. I was lying on top of the covers and shivered against the cold. It took every last bit of strength I had to pull the covers over me. I was going to sleep and let all my sorrows wash away. When I finally woke, I was going to take back control of my life. I had come here, after all, to avoid such societal marriage drama. I would not allow it to control me in my haven. In the morning, I would be back to my usual self.

I would not care about James, Lady Heather, or anyone else. I would enjoy my sweet little niece, the company of my family, and the beauty the country had to offer. It was time I woke from the dream that James and I had briefly shared.

* * *

I
spent
the following week doing just as I had determined. I ignored the sorrowful looks from my sister. I pretended I didn’t see the pity in Josie’s eyes as she did my hair. I did my best to take Gaffton’s brotherly affection as nothing more than love and not the work of a man protecting his sister from recent hurt.

I found myself leaving the house regularly. I felt like every moment there had some memory that I had shared with James. I wanted to go out for rides, but James and I had also done that often. Even walking the grounds reminded me of our picnic lunches.

I decided to take Henry up on his offer to visit him. I knew it was a forward thing for a lady to go alone to the house of a gentleman, but I didn’t care. I needed to go somewhere that wouldn’t hold a memory of James for me.

I didn’t doubt that he had knowledge of Lady Heather’s whereabouts. I was finding in this particular part of the country that gossiping was a pastime. Perhaps it was like that everywhere. I had just never been the butt of it.

Henry was not the sort to bring up a sensitive matter like this one, or to look at me piteously. It was not in his nature. It turned his cottage into a haven for me.

He had often spoken of his cottage while we were away. I was surprised at the size of it when I finally did go to visit him. It was a large house, with a good bit of land and two separate stables.

Gaffton had told me in the past that Henry was the second son of the Duke of Bellingham. Gaffton didn’t know much else past that, since the Duke had passed before Gaffton was even born and Henry’s older brother had filled those shoes at a young age.

Henry’s mother had remarried to a well-established merchant and had later had his younger sister, Scarlett. His commission had been settled before his father’s death and carried out by his older brother. His brother happily gave him a significant portion of the inheritance.

I had yet to meet the Duke of Bellingham, but from Henry’s words, I was sure I would like him just as much as I liked Scarlett.

Henry’s house was a large stone edifice that had windows reaching up three stories. There was a well-manicured garden in front and fenced areas along the side. I assumed that was for the training of the horses.

He accepted my unannounced visited very graciously. I spent the following week calling on him daily. I would split my time between tea in the drawing room with Scarlett and watching Henry train my horse in the fenced corral.

“Have you given thought to a name for her yet?” he asked me one warm afternoon.

He had just finished a round of training for her and was now allowing her to trot freely. He leaned against the inner wall of the fence as I leaned on the opposite side.

He was an incredible sight to see in his loose white shirt and fitted navy pants. His hair was disheveled from the labor, and he had a hint of stubble growing on his square chin. He seemed youthful and free to me here at his home.

“Why would I name her?”

“Well, she is yours,” he replied.

I wrinkled my nose at him.

“How about Sandy?” he asked. I shook my head. “Blondie?” I disagreed again. “Perhaps Beatrice?” he said exaggeratedly.

“
Beatrice
?” I responded with a laugh. “That is a terrible name.”

He stood up seriously. “That is my mother’s name.”

My mouth opened in shock. I was always saying stupid things. I tried my best to stumble out an apology, but before a whole word could pass my lips, he burst out in laughter.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, hands on my hips.

“I was just joking. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“You wretched cad!” I said, trying my best to be angry with him. I couldn’t help but laugh a little myself though.

We stayed outside a bit longer, talking and enjoying each other’s company. I had a feeling that for both of us, spending time together was an oasis from our heartaches. I found that with each day I spent with him, my anguish subsided just a fraction. Some days I thought I might even be brave enough to say that I fully moved on from James, but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t true.

Before I knew it, the weather had turned sour and some dark clouds rolled in angrily. We made our way back into the house just as the rain began to pour down. Scarlett insisted I stay with them in the drawing room until it passed.

As the time went on, however, it just got worse. Scarlett then instead I stay for dinner. A note was sent to Mary and Gaffton, telling them of my extended stay.

I had an enjoyable evening with Henry and his sister. After dinner, we played a game of cards and then Scarlett played for us on the piano while she sang. I was blown away by her lovely voice. Soon the hour was drawing late, and I knew I must return home.

A carriage was made ready for me. As I was in the hallway putting on my cloak, the footman returned, completely soaked from his short trip to the stables and back. He informed us that the road was completely flooded and unsafe for travel until the rain stopped.

Without another word, Scarlett then insisted that I stay the night.

“I couldn’t possibly impose on your hospitality any longer.”

“I know neither my brother nor I would sleep well tonight wondering whether you made it home safely. You must stay the night. The Duke and Duchess will understand.”

“I agree,” Henry said. “I must insist you stay the night, for your own safety.”

It was all decided then, and a room was made up for me.

I lay looking up at the canopy that hung over the elaborate four-post bed. It was a beautiful suite of rooms. I could hear the consistent drumming of the water beating down on the stone house. I wondered if the rain would ever stop.

I couldn't say I was disappointed by it. I had a pleasant evening with the Fitzwilliam siblings. They were very dear friends to me. I wished I could make Henry more in my heart. It was clear that I was more in his. I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. I knew that to let Henry in, I would have to let James go. It was something I wasn’t willing to do, at least not yet.