The Dom with the Kink Monsters (Badass Brats) (29 page)

The pain there was
hard for Saya to see. Her heart ached for this woman who’d borne the child she loved, and who looked so much like Ramsay. Without meaning to, she reached out and touched Bronwyn’s hand.

The woman pulled
her into a hard hug, clinging to her for a moment as though she were drowning.

“I don’t judge you for this, Bronwyn, except to say that I think you’re brave for doing what’s best for
him, even though it’s hard. We respect you and love you. You’re always welcome in our home if you want to come for visits.”

Bronwyn straightened and walked to the mirror, then dabbed irritably at her mascara. “I can do this. It’s best for Spider,” she said to her reflection. “Then everyone will be happy.”

Guilt and anxiety hovered around the cautious optimism that Bronwyn would sign the paperwork. It had to be unbelievably difficult for Bronwyn to do this, even if parenting didn’t come naturally to her. It was so permanent, but permanence was what Spider needed, more than anything. Now she’d have to work hard to make sure that she and Ramsay deserved him.

Did people who had babies by birth feel like this
? Did they look into the faces of the children who came into their lives and feel like maybe they just weren’t good enough people to raise them? Was that the secret to being a good parent, though, like any other love relationship? Taking people for granted was always trouble.

Bronwyn turned
, nodded to her then looped an arm through hers. They walked back to the courtroom together.

Saya managed to hold it together until she and Ramsay tucked their son into bed that night, knowing that he was theirs forever.

*

Someone was touching her. The bed was warm, and her limbs felt weighed down. So tired. Warm breath stirred the hair by her ear. She squirmed, half horny and half hoping whoever it was would
change their mind and leave her alone. A hand slipped into the waistband of her flannel PJ bottoms and crept downward, dragging the pants with it.

“
Nooo,” she whined, her voice barely audible over the sound of his breathing. Who’d been on that side of her when she’d fallen asleep?

Master.
Winter was on her other side, and was still partially twined around her.

“Mmm...yes,” he murmured back. “Quiet now.”

“But why? I was sleeping,
” Saya said, her voice quiet and plaintive. She wriggled and realized he was spooned up against her and his hard-on was pressing along the dip of her ass. A finger rubbed impatiently at her clit then worked into her pussy. She kicked his shin with her heel, but he just chuckled.

“
Mine.”

Heat rushed through her and she pressed her ass back against him,
the conditioning too strong to resist, even though she just wanted to go back to sleep.

She sighed in exasperation.

“I woke up hard. Are you trying to say I can’t? Do you think I should be like the guys at the garage, always complaining I can’t get any?” Master’s growl paired with the finger moving inside her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up, and she shivered.

“No, Master,” she groveled in a small voice.

“Anytime I want you, your answer is supposed to be what?”

“Yes, Ma
ster?”

“Just because you’re a mother now, doesn’
t mean this stops. Understood?” He withdrew his finger and smeared the wetness around her entrance.

Saya’s heart fluttered.
“Yes, Master.”

He pulled her ass backward until she
was angled the way he wanted then drove his cock into her in one stroke. Saya’s body rebelled, her insides burned. She wasn’t ready. Master took her anyway. Gripping her hip, he plunged into her over and over until her body welcomed his, begging for more. He stilled, then thrust hard and grunted into her ear. Inside her, his cock twitched, filling her with his seed.

“Nooo!” she whimpered. No, no, no! She wasn’t done!

The bite at her neck was unexpected, and made her squeak.

“Mine.”

Master withdrew from her and yanked the back of her pants back up. He settled an arm around her and settled for sleep, his hand firmly gripping one of her breasts.

She made a sound of frustration and ground back against
Master, hoping to convince him to get her off.

“Shh. You’re going to wake up Winter and Mack. Be good
or you’ll get a spanking.” Two minutes later, while she was still trying to figure out if maybe she
wanted
a spanking, he started snoring.

Saya
lay snug in his arms, burning and sore, feeling like the luckiest, most frustrated slave in the world.

*

Their foreheads were pressed together. They were so intent on each other, that neither heard her enter. She thought of going back upstairs, but after months of watching Winter rebuff most of Spider’s attempts to bond, this was shocking. Saya watched from the shelter of the dark hallway.

“So even though I broke
the bowl, Mommy won’t give me away?”

“No, sweetie. Even if you broke everything
in our house we wouldn’t give you away.”

“Not even you?” he whispered.

“Not even me,” Winter whispered back. “But don’t tell anyone, okay?”

Saya’s heart leapt. Did this mean that Winter wouldn’t leave any of them? She wanted to rush into the room and hug Winter with all of the relief she felt, but this was no time to interrupt them.

Spider’s
spindly arms snuck around Winter’s neck and she sat back, pulling him into her lap. They sat together quietly for a few minutes, then Winter coaxed him up. She sat him on the couch while she got the broom and dustpan, ordering him to stay put so he didn’t cut his feet. He watched her, his face pinched and anxious. When the mess was tidied, she turned back and noticed his expression.

“You’re a g
ood boy, Spider. Everyone breaks things sometimes.” She chucked him under the chin.

“I love you too, Winter. Even if you don’t say it. Daddy told me that the word
‘love’ gives you the creeps.”

“
That’s true, but you’re a creepy kid, so I’m allowed to love you.”

What if no one showed up?

They’d been told that the show was sold out, but Winter kept thinking there’d been a mistake. That they’d get a call saying not to come, that they’d confused them with Divine Gorgon or some other, more popular band.

She and Saya sat next to each other and watched through the coffee shop window as the mechanic changed the tour bus’s tire. Ramsay, Mack and the roadies stood around the guy supportively. If this didn’t go fast they’d be late getting into Toronto. They’d already had to replace a roadie a few days ago because he had a criminal record he’d neglected to mention and couldn’t go over the border. Some days organizing for this was like walking uphill in cold oatmeal in a snowstorm.

“I don’t know if she’s going to last long.” Saya grimaced and nodded out the window to where Tess
, the early childhood educator they’d hired for the tour, was walking along the edge of the parking lot with Spider. They were picking dandelions and other weeds and she was helping him identify them from a book about plants. The girl looked like an extra from
Little House on the Prairie
and was about that worldly. Hopefully they wouldn’t scare her too badly.

The private school that had turned Spider away because of what his parents did for a living and because of the band’s reputation, came to mind and made her frown. That was for the best now, though, considering they were touring. Touring on their own instead of as an opening band was making it possible for them to set their own pace.

“She caught Mack kissing me when we went for a stroll behind the coffee shop earlier and I thought she was going to faint.”

“We told her the situation.”

“Yes, but I think maybe she only pretended to understand.”

“
Come on, Spider is a kid and he understands.”

Saya laughed. “
She’s been very sheltered. My son is also pretty smart.”

“
Our
son.” Winter frowned, not believing that she actually had to say the words aloud. Hadn’t she shown them enough that she had been a schmuck about things? “Mack and I might not be on the paperwork, but he’s ours too. If Tess doesn’t work out, I’ll deal with her.” She’d hired her, so she could fire her. Winter broke a piece off the donut Spider hadn’t liked and popped it in her mouth, hoping they could drop the subject.

“You
really
aren’t leaving?” Saya chewed on her bottom lip and fiddled with the handle of her coffee mug.

How could she make her understand? Being more direct?
“Nope. And if you break up with me I’ll take you to court for visitation.”

Saya burst into tears and Winter patted her awkwardly and shoved some napkins in her direction.

“That came out wrong. I’m sure it will never come to that. You and Ramsay wouldn’t stop us from seeing him. I know that.”

Her girl threw her arms around her neck. “It’s not that. I still wasn’t sure. I mean, I knew you really seem to like him, but I kept waiting for you to say it was too much. Like when he was sick a few weeks ago and kept waking us up.”

She and Saya had been zombies, taking turns sitting up with him, while Spider had gotten over the flu. Then Winter and Ramsay had caught it. Spider had been the only one in the family who’d “read” her picture books and snuck her chocolate in bed. Just looking at his little face made her smile, even when she’d felt like total crap.

“I didn’t know how it would be.” Winter shrugged.
The warm feeling that she got whenever she thought of Spider filled her. “I knew he’d be work and gross stuff, and we’d have no privacy, and all that. I didn’t know how it would feel when he called for me when he had a nightmare, or when he held my hand at the park. How could I have known that? It’s so different when it’s your own kid’s snot.”

Saya’s dewy eyes shone.
“It’s true. You really do love him.” She let go of Winter’s neck and kissed her full on the lips, oblivious to the thumbs-up the trucker waiting at the front counter gave them.

*

It was no mistake. The place was huge and it was fucking packed. Polson Pier was the biggest venue they’d played, and Winter felt like she was going to puke. She paced until a blister started on her heel. They had barely arrived in time, but they’d been on stage together so often now that they didn’t need half a day to psych themselves up anymore. It wasn’t like they wore elaborate costumes, other than Saya’s new Lolita dress, which the guys had proven came off easily enough. They’d stripped her as soon as they’d arrived, and laid her across their laps.

Ramsay
held her down by the throat while Mack finger fucked her. The sounds of her distress soon had Winter moving closer, watching, but she didn’t join in. Her anxiety wouldn’t let her relax.

What if she fucked up every song? This wasn’t Sprawl, where people would forgive their mistakes. This was huge. Visions of them getting booed off the stage or having bottl
es pelted at them intruded repeatedly into her thoughts. Some of the audience would be fans, but some were probably just there out of curiosity. A venue this big was the next step on the rung, and if they blew it, they might not go much further.

As soon as they let her up,
Saya came to her, begging for mercy. “Please, Winter. They don’t understand. I’m too close to coming, I won’t be able to sing.” She rubbed against her like a cat that needed attention. “Please!”

“My poor girl. Did
our bad men make you suffer?” Her anxiety was forgotten as Saya kissed at her mouth, trying to lure Winter into easing her. “You sing more prettily when you’re horny. It’s good for you.”

Saya
licked at Winter’s lips, mewling and trying to push Winter’s hand under the hem of her dress. “I promise I’ll sing better than I ever have. Please?”

She pressed up between Saya’s legs. “If I lick you here will you come?”

“So fast you’ll barely have to touch me, I swear.”

Winter glanced at Ramsay to see what he thought, but he was distracted.
The men were standing in the middle of the room. Ramsay had his hand down the front of Mack’s jeans and Mack’s head was pressed into their Dom’s neck.

With no direction to behave
themselves forthcoming, Winter led Saya to a chair and eased her down.

“Thank you, Winter,” Saya whispered, casting a furtive glance over to Ramsay.

“If you’re that worried he’ll object, maybe we shouldn’t.”

“He didn’t say no, and I’m willing to pay the price.”

Winter bit her lip to keep herself from laughing. Where had Ramsay’s good girl gone? She felt slightly guilty, but Saya’s heated gaze and parted lips tossed Winter’s morality out the window.

She knelt in front of Saya and slid her skirt up her thighs. The scent of the girl’s arousal reached
Winter and desire throbbed through her. Not much time. Quietly, she spread Saya’s thighs and slid aside her demure panties. Saya moaned as the air cooled her damp flesh.

There was a knock at the door.

“Fuck!” They all stared at Saya, who reddened and then covered her face with her hands. “Sorry.”

“Too slow, princess. You should have come to me first.” Winter tried to look smug, but now she was wound up
, too.

Ramsay went to the door and spoke to
whoever was there as Saya and Mack straightened their clothes.

“Time to go.” Ramsay smirked at all three of them
, then locked their collars on. Leashing them took no more than a minute.

Nerves attacked her again as Ramsay led them backstage. Her legs felt as wobbly as they did after a good beating.
Ramsay paused before walking out onto stage, and Mack grabbed her hand.

“You okay?” The din from the waiting crowd made Mack’s words nearly inaudible.

She nodded jerkily, but it was a lie.

Mack
knew her better than that. He pulled aside the neckline of her t-shirt and hovered his mouth over the tender span between neck and shoulder for a moment before he bit down hard. Pain flared, and she grunted, heat streaking through her.

He kissed the spot, and she shivered. “There’
s nothing to worry about. Just go out there and kick ass.”

Winter nodded, wishing she’d asked Mack to hurt her more before they
’d left the room. The bite had helped though, and it throbbed pleasantly under her shirt – although people would notice it if she and Mack stripped to their jeans again during their break. It wasn’t like their sexual proclivities were a secret anymore, considering.

Ramsay
led them on stage on their leashes. People might have thought it was part of their schtick, but really it was his reminder that no matter what happened, or how famous they got, he owned them.

The lights came up, hot and bright, and blinded her for a minute.
Ramsay let them off leash. The venue looked both smaller and bigger when it was packed with people the way it was. They’d played gigs at places other than Sprawl, but the venues’ sizes had increased so gradually she almost hadn’t noticed until now.

Chain and padlock swung at her neck as she tur
ned to look at the others. They were serious, even though they’d been horny as hell and giddy when they’d left the green room. They had fans now. Followers who not only left messages on their webpage or blogged about them, but made fan pages with biggish followings. The popularity of Mack’s webcomic had skyrocketed. There was so much speculation about their relationships with each other, and of course the matching collars Ramsay locked around their necks before they walked on stage fueled some of the theories. He’d said they all needed to be well marked.

It didn’t tell the whole story, though. It didn’t explain
how she felt when Ramsay made her kneel at his feet, or how Mack tortured her in ways that spoke to her soul. It didn’t explain the intense love she had for Saya, the urge to protect, adore, and defile her.

With collars
, many people just thought sex. They didn’t know about the love, the trust, the giving over of yourself. How Ramsay was the sun, but how his light didn’t matter if there was no one to shine it on. D/s was symbiotic. No one person more important than the other. Where most people gossiped about the kink, they had no clue about the love.

Double bass started behind her, vibrating the soles of her feet.
Saya pirouetted, her cape swirling around her and giving the crowd a flash of the Lolita costume beneath. She couldn’t have been comfortable, considering how damp Winter knew her panties were.

A naughty smile crept onto her face and two guys in the front row snapped pics of her. With any luck
she wouldn’t look like a demented, evil harpy this time. Action shots were always the worst. Somehow Saya always looked like a sweet little school girl, while the guys were beautiful and intense. Not Winter. Pictures of her on stage usually gave the impression that she’d recently escaped a strait jacket.

Winter
joined in with Ramsay, and played the opening of
Master’s Bitch
on her bass. The crowd roared. Their energy buoyed her up, feeding her. Mack and Saya’s voices rose through the primitive beat, and his guitar cut into the fray.

Ha
lfway through the song, people were already crushing against the stage barricades, screaming the lyrics along with Mack, their expressions reverent.

No beer bottles were chucked at them.

She sank into the music and the world around her was forgotten.