“And how does it end? “
“That’s the best part, ” he whispered. Then he swept her into his arms and carried her to bed. Devon peered into a small carton, poking the contents with a spoon. “Do you want any more of this noodly stuff? ” Groaning, Jessica pushed away from the table “If I take another bite of anything I’ll explode. “
“Are you sure? “
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. ” She stood, indulged in a luxurious stretch, and automatically began clearing the table. Devon put down the carton and took the plates from her hands. “I’ll do that.
You go put your feet up. “
She gave a quizzical laugh. “Is there anything in particular I should put them up on? ” He shrugged. “The sofa, the coffee table, the bed… anything that makes you comfortable. ” “Ah. Well at the moment, I think I’ll just leave them on the floor until the kitchen is cleaned up. ” She scooped the utensils off the table, along with the stemware and headed toward the dishwasher.
Devon followed, carrying the plates. “How’s your headache ?”
She smiled, still tingling from the afterglow of lovemaking’ What headache? ” “See? I told you. The Monroe remedy has never failed. ” He puffed his chest, looking exceptionally pleased with himself. “Oh, really? ” She stuffed the spoons in the dishwasher’s silverware basket then straightened, propping her hands indignantly on her hips.
“And just how many times have you used it? “
Avoiding her gaze, he busied himself by arranging the plates on the rack and murmured an unintelligible response Her fingernails impatiently tapped the tile counter. “I didn’t quite catch that. ” ‘ He cleared his throat and straightened. “Just honre, ” he confessed. “But since it worked, that means it’s never failed right? ” , His sheepish grin melted her heart. All she could do was shake her head and chuckle. “Remind me never to challenge you to a duel of semantics. ” The final word was barely out of her mouth before she was overcome by a yawn. “Looks like you’ve about had it, ” Devon remarked. She folded her arms, bewildered and increasingly con “Umm. ” She yawned again, then rubbed her face with qrned about the direction this conversation was taking. her hands. ” I’d probably better turn in pretty soon. I have “Spit it out, Devon. Say what you mean. ” an early meeting tomorrow. ” He stuffed one hand in his slacks pocket and rubbed his A peculiar expression clouded Devon’s eyes. He closed the chin with the other. Finally, he took a deep breath and dishwasher, pursed his lips and stared blankly at the floor. blurted, “I think you should quit your job ‘ She frowned. ” Is something wrong? ” Obviously, she’d misheard. She blinked, rubbed her ear, ” Hmm?
“He glanced up, his gaze still clouded. ” I was and blinked again.
“Would you repeat that? ” ” just thinking that since you’ve been working so hard, some He did, this time adding a rushed sales pitch. Imagine time off would do you good. ” being able to sleep as late as you want, then spending the After reminding him that she’d already taken over ten entire day reading or gardening or… or doing needlepoint. weeks off this year, she brightened and added, ” But if You could do anything you want, go anywhere you want, to , the beach or the park or the shopping mall you’re in the mood for a weekend getaway, why don’t we go ” qere all my checks would bounce because I’d be stone back up the mountain and see if Bill will rent us another cold broke!” Jessica was so astounded by Devon’s ludi ? motorcycle Maybe we could get two this time because I’d crous suggestion that she couldn’t believe he was actually love to learn how to ride one by myself-” serious. “Even if I could afford to be a lady of leisure” “Good Lord, no! I mean…” He rubbed his eyelids, then which I most certainly can’t-my favorite reading is the Wall dropped his hands to his side with an exaggerated sigh. ” I Street Journal, I hate needlepoint and as far as gardening was hoping for something longer than a weekend.
” goes, I’m probably the only person on earth who can kill a”
“A vacation? How wonderful!” V’qsions of Maui and cactus. ” Aspen floated through her mind. She wistfully imagined the Waving away her protests, Devon pressed on. ” What two of them lounging on a sunny beach or swooshing down about volunteer work? The point is that you’ll finally have the slopes toward a cozy lodge fireplace. It would be glory-the time to do the things you enjoy. ” Hous, the adventure of a lifetime. Unfortunately, it would ” I enjoy my work. Oh, this is absurd. I don’t even know have to wait. “It’ll be months before I have more vacation why we’re wasting time talking about it. ” Tossing up her time accrued. ” hands, Jessica brushed by him and marched into the living He covered a nervous cough. “I wasn’t exactly thinking room with Devon right on her heels. ” We re talking about it because it s important, he in about a vacation, either. sis ted “Look at you. You’re exhausted and you’ve got Something about his somber expression put her on guard. You’ve right to be. You’ve been through hell. ” He took her “So what, exactly, were you thinking about? shoulders, turning her to face him. ” I want to help you “He tried for a nonchalant shrug that didn t quite make it. ” How? By telling me to sit on my lazy bottom until I go “Something longer than ava cation bankrupt? “Are you talking about a sabbatical? ” Thays not going to happen. I have enough money for “That’s closer to what I had in mind. ” both of us. ” ‘ Jessica sucked in a sharp breath and went rigid. “I’ve got it all figured out, ” Devon told her. “I can cover your condo mortgage and basic living expenses out of my salary. For the medical costs, I can draw down my deferred -compensation account-Why are you looking at me like that? ” Jessica pulled away, exhaling all at once. Her lungs ached. The room was spinning. She licked her lips, holding up a warning hand when he reached out. “How do you know what my mortgage payments are? ” He flexed his fingers and returned his extended hand to his side. “I made a few telephone calls. ” “Using your journalistic credentials, no doubt. ” Jessica was too stunned to be angry. “Why didn’t you just riffle through my bank statements, or even better, confiscate a copy of my federal tax forms?
No… don’t tell me.
You’ve already done both of those things, right? ” “Of course not, ” he said miserably. “Look, I know I might have been out of line-”
“Might have been? “
“All right, I admit it. I violated your privacy and I apologize , but I had to make sure I could handle the payments” “You’re really serious, ” she murmured. “You actually want me to quit my job and take money from you” “It makes sense, Jessica. You’ll have time to recover, get your strength back. ” “I see. And where will you be while I’m doing all this… recovering? ” The truth in his eyes sliced her like a blade. “You don’t know where you’ll be, do you? Maybe Europe, maybe Africa, or maybe there will be a lovely little war somewhere in Asia. It doesn’t really matter. ” The point is that you’ll be off somewhere. “
Unable to look at him, she turned away, rubbing her upper arms.
Humiliation settled over her like an icy cloud, seeping into her bones, squeezing bitter tears from beneath her quivering eyelids. She felt like a fool. Days ago when Devon had spoken of his travels, Jessica had caught the weariness in his voice and his unspoken distaste at being a neutral observer of other people’s misery. She’d honestly believed that he was considering a career move and had allowed herself to hope they might actually have a future together. Despite the fact that he’d never spoken the words, Jessica had thought that Devon loved her. The realization that she’d evidently confused love with pity made her ill. She stiffened her spine, determined to conceal her pain. “Have you given any thought as to whether this generous financial support would be tax deductible? ” As he silently grappled with the curious question, she shot a quelling look over her shoulder. “I’m just wondering whether I’d be one of your legitimate charities or just a common mistress. “
He went white. “You know better than that. “
“Do I? Ah, well, no matter. The answer is no in either case. ” She made a production of glancing at her watch. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some figures to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. ” As she turned, Devon pivoted to block her way. “Look, I don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry. When the idea first occurred to me, I should have been up front with you right away. Okay, I blew it bigtime but I just wanted to make things easier for you. ” When she didn’t respond, he raked his hair in frustration. ” I never meant to make you angry. ” Unfortunately, Jessica wasn’t angry. She wanted to be; in fact, she wanted to be furious that Devon considered her to be as needy as poor little Katrina. The problem was that she was too hurt to be mad and besides, she knew that Devon’s intentions were as sincere now as they’d been with Gunda’s disabled grandchild. The last thing Jessica wanted, however, was sincere intentions She wanted Devon’s heart and that, apparently, was something with which he wasn’t willing to part.
She faced him with as much dignity as she could muster.
“Come to think of it, I’d like to make things easier for you , too. After all, you have more scars than I do and your job is a heck of a lot more dangerous. How about turning in your resignation and letting me take care of you He sighed, shifted his hands to his hips and stared at the floor. “I’m serious, Devon. And it wouldn’t be charity, either. Heaven knows I could use a housekeeper and since you can load a dishwasher with the best of them, I figure you could earn your keep and then some. ” She aimed a soft punch at his bicep. “So whatdaya say, bud? Have we got a deal here or what? ” He absently rubbed the back of his neck. “Enough already I get the message. “
She let the phony smile fade away. “Good. Then we understand each other.
Now, it really is quite late and as you’ve pointed out, I’m tired. “
He looked up woefully. “You want me to leave? “
In response, she undraped his jacket from the arm of the chair and handed it to him. “Good night, Devon. ” For a moment, he simply stared at the jacket, absently fingering the ribbed collar. Then flipped it over his shoulder and looked her square in the eye.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, ” he said. A moment later, he was gone.
Jessica was alone again. And she couldn’t suppress the ominous feeling that tommorrow might never come. Sunlight sprayed into the expansive parlor with blinding intensity. It should have been a cheerful sight; instead, it was a chilling reminder that the afternoon was waning. The day was nearly gone. The final day. A day without Jessica. From what seemed a great distance Devon heard an intermittent beeping sound. It was annoying, rather like the frantic buzz of insects in a bottle. He vaguely realized that the raspy disconnect warning was emanating from the telephone receiver clutched in his hand. He hung up the phone. The sound stopped. Devon slouched back in his chair, covered his face with his hands and replayed what had happened last night in his mind. He still couldn’t figure out exactly what had gone wrong. He understood that because of his clumsiness, Jessica had misinterpreted his suggestion that she quit her job. He could understand her indignation. But he couldn’t for the life of him understand the sudden distance in her eyes, the coolness in her voice. Perhaps she’d recognized his peculiar desperation and been frightened by it. Of so, he couldn’t begrudge that fear. His desperation scared him, too, because the woman he loved was being stalked by a hidden danger, an invisible foe that Devon had been helpless to challenge. All of a sudden, he’d had the horrible sensation of cringing in bushes, of still being a powerless prisoner of his own indecision. Images and emotions had been all jumbled up in his mind. He’d been compelled to do something. So he’d come up with a grandiose scheme that made her feel like catalog merchandise and made him seem like an insensitive cad. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Apparently he did know what had gone wrong. But now there was no way to fix it. “
“I thought I heard the telephone. “
Startled, Devon straightened and saw his father standing in the doorway.
“Yes. “
Crandall scrutinized his son’s sober expression and apparently didn’t like what he saw. The older man’s complexion paled, his eyes dulled, his lips compressed into a thin line. “It’s time, isn’t it? “
Devon stared past the cheery sunbeams spilling through the window “Yes,
” he whispered “It’s time. ” With the television droning in the background; Jessica took her dinner-a bowl of soup and some buttered toast to the kitchen table. She sat wearily, propped her elbows on the table and stared into the bowl, noticing its contents for the first time. It was tomato soup. She detested tomato soup. But in her current mental fog, one can had looked pretty much like another, and besides, food was food. Since her only goal at this point was simply to keep the body fueled, she sipped a spoonful without paying attention to the flavor It had been such a long day, probably because she’d spent so much of it trying not to cry. She’d tried to tell herself that the disagreement she and Devon had last night wasn’t the end of the world, and that a single argument didn’t necessarily indicate the end of a relationship. Unfortunately, she hadn’t believed herself. For the past weeks, she’d been blinded by love; last night , those blinders had been forcefully removed. Devon had wanted to assist her, to support her, to do anything and everything to help her through this difficult time in her life a life he’d said nothing about wanting to share. The only conclusion Jessica could draw was that he was a kind and generous man who wanted to be her friend-a close, intimate friend, to be sure, but a friend nonetheless. Jessica wanted so much more. As one moody ballad had so aptly described, she loved him too much to ever start liking him. With a pained sigh, she wrinkled her nose at the red liquid on her spoon and pushed the bowl aside. As she nibbled her toast, she glanced at the television and noticed that the news anchor seemed unusually tense. In the corner of the screen was a superimposed map of the Balticterritory that had been in dispute for several years. It was also the country where Devon had last been assigned. She reached for the remote and turned up the volume. For the next ten minutes she was riveted to the screen by the worst of all possible news. The cease-fire had been broken. United Nations troops had been ambushed and nearly two dozen soldiers had been killed, along with a German film crew. Fighting had broken out along the border with a previously neutral country. Several other European nations were blustering with threats of war. The United States Congress was in an emergency session. The President was expected to make a statement, the subject of which was speculated to have grave national consequence. It was a disaster, a crisis of global proportion, the most awful thing that could possibly happen. Until she heard the knock on her door and knew without doubt that things had just gone from bad to worse.